Sc0tt Ad@ms is STILL a loony!

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Beable van Polasm

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Jan 31, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/31/00
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Sc0tt Ad@ms is STILL a loony! Sure, Sc0tt,
STEAL IDEAS FROM ARK! But we still know
that you are a L00NY!

http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert27305090000124.gif

Also, I watched the movie "G.I. Jane" and I found it
VERY DISTRUBING! They had the Navy Seals Instructors
using bullhorns to shout at the trainees. PLEASE
SOMEBODY TELL ME THAT THE US ARMED FORCES DON'T REALLY
USE BULLHORNS TO SHOUT AT PEOPLE! When I was in an
army, we used no mechanical or electronic means of
any kind to shout at people. WE JUST SHOUTED NATURALLY!
BECAUSE WE THOUGHT SHOUTING WAS WONDERFUL! AND FUN!
AND IF THERE WERE LOTS OF MACHINE GUNS AND RIFLES
FIRING AND GRENADES AND MORTARS EXPLODING, *WE* *JUST*
*SHOUTED* *LOUDER*!!!!!1! A popular pasttime when doing
drill on the parade ground near the HQ office was to
shout VERY LOUD to piss off the Major commanding A
Company when he was doing his paper work. We were allowed
to shout out numbers while performing drill, and so we
did! "WAH! TWO FREE! WAH!". Well they were sort of
numbers. And the Major couldn't do anything about it!
BECAUSE IT'S IN THE RULES OF THE ARMY! YOU'RE ALLOWED
TO SHOUT A LOT! YAY! And also we liked to smirk at
people who shouted out the wrong commands for drill
like shouting out "Atten... HUT!" when they are
supposed to shout out "Atten... SHUN!". Or they
would watch too many Yankee movies and shout "About...
FACE!" instead of the CORRECT Word Of Command which
is of course "About... TURN!". AND WE WOULD LAUGH AT
THEM FOR BEING STUPID AND NOT SHOUTING THE RIGHT THING!
HAW HAW HAW! AND THEY EVEN LET US SHOUT OUT SWEAR WORDS
WHEN WE WERE IN THE BUSH! "GET THAT FUKKEN GUN GOING!".
"It's jammed." "I DON'T FUKKEN CARE! GET THE GUN GOING
*NOW* OR IT *WILL* BE JAMMED IN A MINUTE WHEN I COME OVER
THERE AND JAM IT UP YOUR *ARSE*!!!"

YAY! If you like SHOUTING and BEING SHOUTED AT, join
THE ARMY! YOU'LL LOVE IT! OR ELSE!

Also, I watched the movie "The Great Escape" which was
also distrubing. It was SUCH A RIPOFF! The music, which
they played OVER AND OVER again was directly stolen from
that episode of "The Simpsons" where Maggie was in the
kindergarten where they don't let kids have dummies.
"Dert Dert. Derr derr derr derr derr DERT DERT!" OVER
AND OVER AGAIN! And the whole concept and most of the
actors were stolen directly from "Hogan's Heroes".
Everything from the wakky Kolonel Klink always shouting
"COOLER!" to the guys digging lots of tunnels out of
the camp and making their own clothes all the way to
the wakky Sergeant shouting "I KNOW NOTHING! NOTHING!"
all the time WAS DIRECTLY RIPPED OFF FROM "HOGAN'S HEROES"!
If they can't make an ORIGINAL MOVIE then why do they
bother making CHEAP RIPOFFS of pioneering TeeVee series?
What's next? A *M*A*S*H* movie? I HOPE NOT!!!!!1!!

CHEERS!
BEABLE! VAN! POLASM!
--
Beable van Polasm is incredibly wealthy, handsome,
talented and funny! He has a really cute, intelligent,
funny, rich girlfriend! Everybody loves Beable!
http://members.xoom.com/_______/index.html


Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

Dag Right-square-bracket-gren

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Jan 31, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/31/00
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Beable van Polasm <bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> When I was in an
> army, we used no mechanical or electronic means of
> any kind to shout at people. WE JUST SHOUTED NATURALLY!
> BECAUSE WE THOUGHT SHOUTING WAS WONDERFUL! AND FUN!

This does not come as much of a surprise, really.

--
Dag Agren <> d...@c3.cx <> http://www.abo.fi/~dagren/ <> Legalize oregano
"Which gives us less than SIX HOURS to prevent FAMINE in EUROPE!"

Daniel Buettner

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Jan 31, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/31/00
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Beable van Polasm <bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> Also, I watched the movie "G.I. Jane" and I found it
> VERY DISTRUBING!

> Also, I watched the movie "The Great Escape" which was
> also distrubing.

Hey, if you're going to post about the st00pid movies you
watched this weekend, then let me put my two cents in. <--+
|
(this participle intentionally left dangling)------+

I unfortunately took in THREE movies this weekend. First, I
saw "55 Days in Peking". It was very bad. So bad, in fact,
the last quarter was watched in fast forward. The main
Chinese parts were played by westerners. Charlton Heston is
not my pal.

Then I saw "Westworld". Yul Brynner is my pal. This movie
is also very bad, but in the "DUH DUH DUH" way, not the
un-watchable way. It was highly entertaining. I may write
more about its st00pidity at a later date. I guess Majel
Barrett is in it, but I failed to notice.

Then I saw "Empire of the Sun". It was not that great. I
had no idea that internment camps were so much fun. And
also, what was that d00d from "There's Something About Mary"
doing in an internment camp in 1945?

Also, why do the ratings on the internet movie database say:

Empire of the Sun > 55 Days in Peking > Westworld

when clearly, "Westworld" was the best of the three?

--
~
~
~
"Daniel Buettner" line 4 of 4 --100%--

David DeLaney

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
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Beable van Polasm <bea...@my-deja.com> writes:
>Sc0tt Ad@ms is STILL a loony! Sure, Sc0tt,
>STEAL IDEAS FROM ARK! But we still know
>that you are a L00NY!

We now know the truth;
His boss is Mister Mime in
today's comic strip.

>Also, I watched the movie "G.I. Jane" and I found it
>VERY DISTRUBING!

That's because you took the -wrong- pills, I bet.

>YAY! If you like SHOUTING and BEING SHOUTED AT, join
>THE ARMY! YOU'LL LOVE IT! OR ELSE!

This is another reason I never had the Urge To Sign Up.

Dave
--
\/David DeLaney d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://panacea.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ/ I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.

Leah Verre

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
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On 31 Jan 2000 23:28:30 GMT, Daniel Buettner <buet...@cse.unl.edu>
wrote:

>
>I unfortunately took in THREE movies this weekend. First, I
>saw "55 Days in Peking". It was very bad. So bad, in fact,
>the last quarter was watched in fast forward. The main
>Chinese parts were played by westerners. Charlton Heston is
>not my pal.
>

Oh how I hate that movie.
I really hate those movies where Asians are played by severely white
guys. I've never liked John Wayne, either. And he did one or more
of those. If he wasn't dead I bet he and Chuck Heston would go
bowling together. Chuck likes bowling.
John Wayne Movies: No Real Indians Were Used in the Making of This
Film.

>Then I saw "Westworld". Yul Brynner is my pal. This movie
>is also very bad, but in the "DUH DUH DUH" way, not the
>un-watchable way. It was highly entertaining. I may write
>more about its st00pidity at a later date. I guess Majel
>Barrett is in it, but I failed to notice.

This is a FANTASTIC movie, what'sthematteriwthyou?
Especially when they rip his face off and he looks like a Fembot!
Wonderful! Amazing!
I Have No Face and I Must Stalk.
Yul Brynner is the man.
"I'm dead now. Don't smoke."

>
>Then I saw "Empire of the Sun". It was not that great. I
>had no idea that internment camps were so much fun. And
>also, what was that d00d from "There's Something About Mary"
>doing in an internment camp in 1945?

We disagree on this one too, pally, cuz clearly, this film is mui
fantastico.
And I'm not a fan of that high-profile director there, either. So
there ya go.

You should follow this up with Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence. There's
a really uplifting kind of dance down happy lane for you.


>
>Also, why do the ratings on the internet movie database say:
>
> Empire of the Sun > 55 Days in Peking > Westworld
>
>when clearly, "Westworld" was the best of the three?

You like school inna Summertime.

....

Nooooo Claaaassss.
(Waves arms in the air while saying "Aaaaw, maaaan!")


info starlight

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
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"Daniel Buettner" <buet...@cse.unl.edu> wrote in message
news:8755qu$ske$1...@unlnews.unl.edu...

> Then I saw "Westworld". Yul Brynner is my pal. This movie
> is also very bad, but in the "DUH DUH DUH" way, not the
> un-watchable way. It was highly entertaining. I may write
> more about its st00pidity at a later date. I guess Majel
> Barrett is in it, but I failed to notice.

Michael Crichton, who directed, did his usual job of loading the screen up
with tons of exposition in order to educate the lumpen masses. Crichton
has always been the un-thinking man's screenwriter (followed closely by
Esterhaus). His Andromeda Strain has all the excitement of watching mold
grow on a petrie dish.

The ending brings two words to mind. Molasses and January. And it's not
just because Jim Cameron showed us all how a mad robot chase is sup-
posed to be done. It's because it sucked. I understand that it did quite
well at the b.o. when it originally screened, however. People were a lot
less sophisticated in those days.

Daniel Buettner

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
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info starlight <in...@starlight.org> wrote:
> "Daniel Buettner" <buet...@cse.unl.edu> wrote in message
> news:8755qu$ske$1...@unlnews.unl.edu...

>> Then I saw "Westworld". Yul Brynner is my pal. This movie
>> is also very bad, but in the "DUH DUH DUH" way, not the
>> un-watchable way. It was highly entertaining. I may write
>> more about its st00pidity at a later date. I guess Majel
>> Barrett is in it, but I failed to notice.

> Michael Crichton, who directed, did his usual job of loading the screen up
> with tons of exposition in order to educate the lumpen masses. Crichton
> has always been the un-thinking man's screenwriter (followed closely by
> Esterhaus). His Andromeda Strain has all the excitement of watching mold
> grow on a petrie dish.

I don't think my problems with this movie stem from
unecessary expository dialogue. My problems stem from
things that just make you say "DUH". For example: the guns
have heat sensors to keep you from shooting other visitors
(implying that the robots are substantially cooler than
people). This was explained when one of the d00ds was
worried about killing a real person in a gunfight. Later
on, he has no qualms about a bar-room brawl in which chairs
are broken over heads and people make the obligatory dive
from the balcony. And I won't even comment on the
desirability of mechanical women-of-ill-repute at or around
room temperature.

Also, when the scientists get locked in by the power
failure, I just have to ask why weren't there any over-rides
on the *inside* of the room, since it was clearly designed
to protect the inhabitants of said room? Furthermore, one
d00d tries to break some glass with his elbow. Why not use
a chair?

And how come the manufacturers can make a perfect replica of
a human face that emotes and shapes the mouth properly for
the words coming out but can't make hands that don't look
like runny latex gloves?

Methinks "The 13th Warrior" is Crichton's only good film.

Daniel Buettner

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
to
Leah Verre <le...@seanet.com> wrote:
> On 31 Jan 2000 23:28:30 GMT, Daniel Buettner <buet...@cse.unl.edu>
> wrote:

>>I unfortunately took in THREE movies this weekend. First, I
>>saw "55 Days in Peking".

> Oh how I hate that movie.


> I really hate those movies where Asians are played by severely white
> guys. I've never liked John Wayne, either. And he did one or more
> of those. If he wasn't dead I bet he and Chuck Heston would go
> bowling together. Chuck likes bowling.
> John Wayne Movies: No Real Indians Were Used in the Making of This
> Film.

YAY!!1! I'm not much for John Wayne either. The d00d
responsible for the viewing of "55 Days in Peking" insists
that John Wayne movies "rule". I point out that I have seen
several of them and they sucked. He claims I saw "bad
ones". I suspect they are all bad.

>>Then I saw "Westworld". Yul Brynner is my pal. This movie
>>is also very bad, but in the "DUH DUH DUH" way, not the
>>un-watchable way. It was highly entertaining. I may write
>>more about its st00pidity at a later date. I guess Majel
>>Barrett is in it, but I failed to notice.

> This is a FANTASTIC movie, what'sthematteriwthyou?

I didn't say I didn't like it, just that it was st00pid.

> Especially when they rip his face off and he looks like a Fembot!
> Wonderful! Amazing!
> I Have No Face and I Must Stalk.
> Yul Brynner is the man.
> "I'm dead now. Don't smoke."

I also saw him in "Light at the Edge of the World" on TV one
afternoon. It was horrible. I turned it off and watched
the wall. Under no circumstances should anyone attempt to
watch this movie.

>>Then I saw "Empire of the Sun". It was not that great.

> We disagree on this one too, pally, cuz clearly, this film is mui


> fantastico.
> And I'm not a fan of that high-profile director there, either. So
> there ya go.

I'm not a fan either, and I must say, this movie did nothing
to change that.

> You should follow this up with Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence. There's
> a really uplifting kind of dance down happy lane for you.

I'll have to add that to the list...


> You like school inna Summertime.
>
> ....
>
> Nooooo Claaaassss.
> (Waves arms in the air while saying "Aaaaw, maaaan!")

How did you know? I have taken one class the past two
summers; this summer, I think I will take two!!!!1!

Ben Allard

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
to
Daniel Buettner wrote:

> Also, why do the ratings on the internet movie database say:
>
> Empire of the Sun > 55 Days in Peking > Westworld
>
> when clearly, "Westworld" was the best of the three?
>

> --
> ~
> ~
> ~
> "Daniel Buettner" line 4 of 4 --100%--


It's clearly an anti-cyborg conspiracy.

--Ben

Ricky Morse

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
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In article <877lrv$sk2$1...@unlnews.unl.edu>, Daniel Buettner
<buet...@cse.unl.edu> wrote:

>Leah Verre <le...@seanet.com> wrote:
>> On 31 Jan 2000 23:28:30 GMT, Daniel Buettner <buet...@cse.unl.edu>
>> wrote:
>
>>>I unfortunately took in THREE movies this weekend. First, I
>>>saw "55 Days in Peking".
>
>> Oh how I hate that movie.
>> I really hate those movies where Asians are played by severely white
>> guys. I've never liked John Wayne, either. And he did one or more
>> of those. If he wasn't dead I bet he and Chuck Heston would go
>> bowling together. Chuck likes bowling.
>> John Wayne Movies: No Real Indians Were Used in the Making of This
>> Film.
>
>YAY!!1! I'm not much for John Wayne either. The d00d
>responsible for the viewing of "55 Days in Peking" insists
>that John Wayne movies "rule". I point out that I have seen
>several of them and they sucked. He claims I saw "bad
>ones". I suspect they are all bad.

Well, I kinda liked "Cowboys". But then, I was much younger, and that
kind of story has always appealed to me (ages ago, some teacher taught me
the word bildingroman (sp?) -- but nobody else I know seems to know what
it means...)

But also, John Wayne wasn't the focal point of that movie (I don't think...)

Ricky (but then, I wasn't paying attention to the old guys...)

-----
Pukku

Ben Allard

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
to
Ricky Morse wrote:
>(ages ago, some teacher taught me the word bildingroman (sp?) -- but nobody else I know seems to know what
> it means...)

> Pukku


Well, don't leave us hanging!

Ricky Morse

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
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In article <3897C1...@hotbot.com>, Ben Allard <gragg...@hotbot.com>
wrote:

bil搞ungs斟o搶an (sorry 'bout the previous speeling error)
n.

A novel whose principal subject is the moral, psychological, and
intellectual development of a usually youthful main character.

[German: Bildung, formation (from Middle High German bildunge) (from Old
High German bildunga) (from bilodi, form, shape) + Roman, novel (from
French a story in the vernacular, novel); see roman.]

Ricky

-----
Pukku

Ben Allard

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Feb 1, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/1/00
to
Ricky Morse wrote:
> >Well, don't leave us hanging!
>
> bil搞ungs斟o搶an (sorry 'bout the previous speeling error)
> n.
>
> A novel whose principal subject is the moral, psychological, and
> intellectual development of a usually youthful main character.
>
> [German: Bildung, formation (from Middle High German bildunge) (from Old
> High German bildunga) (from bilodi, form, shape) + Roman, novel (from
> French a story in the vernacular, novel); see roman.]


Hot Dang, I learned a new word today!

Beable van Polasm

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Feb 3, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/3/00
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In article <8755qu$ske$1...@unlnews.unl.edu>,

Daniel Buettner <buet...@cse.unl.edu> wrote:
> Beable van Polasm <bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> > Also, I watched the movie "G.I. Jane" and I found it
> > VERY DISTRUBING!
>
> > Also, I watched the movie "The Great Escape" which was
> > also distrubing.
>
> Hey, if you're going to post about the st00pid movies you
> watched this weekend, then let me put my two cents in. <--+
> |
> (this participle intentionally left dangling)------+

What are you going to put your two cents in? IN THE
BANK? HAW HAW!

Well if YOU are going to post about watching st00pid
movies, then *I* am going to as well! So there! Last
night I watched a movie SO STUPID that it was fabulous.
It is called "Subterfuge" and was made in 1996. This
movie is so full of stupidity that I will only tell
you about a few things, because something ridiculous
happens in almost every scene.

An extremely stupid classic moment is when the hero
and the cute CIA chyk ("We call it 'The Company'")
are diving to the bottom of the Black Sea ostensibly
to recover the Flight Recorder ("Black Box") from a
crashed plane. The hero found the Flight Recorder,
(which was ORANGE and YELLOW and NOT BLACK!!!!).
The CIA chyk was doing her sekrit mission which was
to recover a briefcase which was handcuffed to the
arm of a dead CIA courier. The courier was dead
because the plane had been at the bottom of the
Black Sea for a week. While she was cutting the
chain of the handcuffs with a pair of ordinary
sidecutters (not boltcutters, oh no. Just sidecutters),
the dead courier BLINKED! YES HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE
BEEN UNDERWATER DEAD FOR A WEEK AND HE BLINKED! That
made me laugh A LOT!

Earlier in the movie, the hero was attacked by a guy
with a gun. The guy charged the hero, and suddenly,
he didn't have a gun, he had A KNIFE! YAY! Continuity
is absolutely all over the place like a dog's breakfast
in this movie. So the hero does a series of kicks to
the guy's head, and then the guy charges again with
the knife being held sticking out the bottom of his
hand trying to stab downwards in the really stupid
knife technique that you always see in movies. The
hero blocked the stab with crossed hands, and then
rapidly pulled the guy's knife hand way down towards
his thigh. The movie quite clearly shows their hands
down at thigh level, and the knife is visible on the
right hand side of the bad guy's thigh. The picture
goes to a closeup of their grimacing faces, and then
cuts back down to thigh level, AND SUDDENLY THE KNIFE
IS STUCK DEEP INTO THE BAD GUY'S THIGH! MARVELLOUS!
IT'S LIKE A MAGIC KNIFE OR SOMETHING! Then the hero
pulls the knife out of the guy's thigh and sort of
waves it near his face, which magically cuts the bad
guy's throat and kills him.

The hero has a brother, who is an Elite Haxor. This
is vital to the plot of the movie. That's how they
get the hero to go on the mission, by chucking his
brother in jail. This brother is a TRUE GENUIS. He
must have a cubical brane, he is just THAT smart.
And he says it OVER AND OVER AGAIN, just in case
you're wondering what he's doing in the movie. He
invents a device to transmit "sonar waves" into the
water to scare fish. You see, there must be a lot
of sharks in the Black Sea. He has a fish tank in
their motel room in Turkey with a few goldfish in it.
He had insisted that the CIA give him a computer to
go on the mission. He asked for a computer "with two
processors, each one capable of doing ONE MILLION
OPERATIONS PER SECOND!!!!!!111!!". Like ZOWIE! They
must have gave him a computer with TWO ONE MEGAHERTZ
CPUS!!!!!!!111!!!11! LIKE WOW! WHEN CAN I GET A
COMPUTER THAT GOOD!!! The movie suffers badly from
a lack of technical information, but HEY! They didn't
have an unlimited budget you know!!! Anyway, he has
the computer connected up to the fishtank. He starts
playing some "Sonar Waves" into the fishtank, because
"that's how fish see". Suddenly, the picture of the
goldfish is being obviously played at about 5 times
normal speed. This is to show that the goldfish are
SCARED! And why are they scared? Because he is playing
"Sonar Waves" of a SHARK into the fishtank! And the
goldfish are SCARED! Of a SHARK! Even though goldfish
are FRESHWATER fish and would NEVER EVER EVER SEE A
SHARK! Later on he says "Ouch". The cute CIA chyk
says "What's wrong?" He replies "I just got an electric
shock off the fishtank. And with the voltages in that
fishtank, I'm lucky I'm not DEAD!". BUT THE FISH ARE
STILL SWIMMING AROUND HAPPILY! IN THE ELECTRIC WATER!
Later a Russian Spy comes in to kill him, and shoots
the lamp instead, because he's a really bad shot.
The Haxor eventually drops to the floor and crawls over
to the wall socket and pulls the plug, I assume to turn
off the other lamp to prevent the Russian from shooting
it too. There were about six or seven things plugged into
this socket. But luckily one of them was NOT the fishtank!
The Haxor somehow kicks the gun out of the hand of the
spy, and it drops into the fishtank. YES YOU KNOW WHAT
HAPPENS NEXT! The spy reaches into the tank and gets
ELECTROCUTED BY BLUE MOVIE ELECTRICITY! WHILE THE
GOLDFISH ARE STILL SWIMMING AROUND HAPPILY!!!!1!!!1!!

There are heaps more stupid things that happen in this
movie, but hey! I can't write a ten thousand line post
about them all! Go to your video store and get this
movie out. You will love it! It is sure to be one of
the stupidest movies you have ever seen. OR YOUR MONEY
BACK!!!

cheers
beable van polasm

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