Free Beer!

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Beable van Polasm

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Mar 21, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/21/00
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After my incredible success in finding Carlos "Froggy" May
the lurv of his life on the web, I decided to see if I
could do something for the rest of humanity. So I did a
search on "free beer". AND! I FOUND SOME!! So if you want
FREE BEER, go HERE:

http://www.classifieds2000.com/cgi-cls/ad.exe?partner=c2k&path=Rental~RoommateLook~Details&recordid=146707&hasphoto=0&keywordqueryid=353682092&titlesummary=title

See? FREE BEER!

> Person looking for roommates Looking For Roommate, $167/month,and
> FREE BEER!

WOW! $167 per MONTH! THAT'S CHEAP! And you get FREE BEER!

> Room In Apartment
> Rent $167/Month

An APARTMENT for $167 per MONTH? INCLUDING FREE BEER?
UNBELIEVABLE!!! USA! USA! USA!

> Ideal Roommate Male or Female, Smoker or Non Smoker, Pets or No
> Pets

They're not VERY fussy, are they?

Ideal Roommate: Human or Alien, Dead or Alive, MUST LIKE FREE BEER!

> Description Three bed, 2.5 bath trailer, need one roomate to rent

No, wait. You said it was an APARTMENT, now you say it's a
TRAILER??? As in a BOX that gets towed behind a CAR? And you
have a trailer with THREE BEDROOMS and TWO POINT FIVE bathrooms?
USA! USA! USA!

> third room. Rent this room and i'll buy you a case of beer! Both

YYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!! FREE BEEEEEER!

> roomates are male, quite and fairly clean. Please call chance at

We are quite fairly clean. OK WE'RE PIGS! BUT, FREE BEER!

> 502-3847.

RING NOW!!!

> Seller Info Send message
> (334) 502-3847

RING NOW!!!!!11!

> chance-au-99
> View seller's other ads
> Auburn, Alabama 36832

So, there is a place in Alabama called "Auburn", and in
Auburn Alabama they have TRAILERS big enough to have
THREE BEDROOMS and TWO POINT FIVE BATHROOMS. And did I
mention FREE BEER!!!??!??

So who lives in Alabama? Who WANTS to live in Alabama?
ONLY $167 PER MONTH!! And, FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!
USA! USA! USA!

cheers
Beable van Polasm
--
Beable van Polasm is incredibly wealthy, handsome,
talented and funny! He has a really cute, intelligent,
funny, rich girlfriend! Everybody loves Beable!
http://members.xoom.com/_______/index.html


Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

aka...@nospam.unity.unity.edu

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Mar 21, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/21/00
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In article <8b6uub$iec$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Beable van Polasm
<bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:

> So, there is a place in Alabama called "Auburn", and in
> Auburn Alabama they have TRAILERS big enough to have
> THREE BEDROOMS and TWO POINT FIVE BATHROOMS. And did I
> mention FREE BEER!!!??!??

Dahbura Wiidu!

Dahbura dahbura to CHEESU desu!

The wonders never cease in Alabannana! Hooray!

Why am I not sane at the moment. It's only 1 AM - I shouldn't be going wonky
for another couple hours.
--
___________________________________________________________________________
| //\ | "Just wait til someone cracks your machine by going thru your |
| (/__\ | fridge..." |
| /). \. | "So? they find out that I keep a severed human head in the |
| / | fridge labeled "Catapult Ammo". Big deal." |
|Shiro |-On the subject of a fridge with internet access |
|Akaishi__|_________________________________________________________________|

Glenn Dowdy

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Mar 21, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/21/00
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Beable van Polasm wrote in message <8b6uub$iec$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
>

>So, there is a place in Alabama called "Auburn", and in
>Auburn Alabama they have TRAILERS big enough to have
>THREE BEDROOMS and TWO POINT FIVE BATHROOMS. And did I
>mention FREE BEER!!!??!??
>

It's called a "dubblewide", you ignorant slut.

>So who lives in Alabama? Who WANTS to live in Alabama?

Been there, done that, ain't going back, no sirreebob.


--
Glenn "Auburn '86" Dowdy

"You really need to urgently learn the lesson that
civilised debate demands that you recognise that
others may sincerely hold opinions contrary to your own."
Keith Willshaw

Karlo Takki

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Mar 21, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/21/00
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In article <8b6uub$iec$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Beable van Polasm
<bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:

> > Description Three bed, 2.5 bath trailer, need one roomate to rent
>
> No, wait. You said it was an APARTMENT, now you say it's a
> TRAILER??? As in a BOX that gets towed behind a CAR? And you

> have a trailer with THREE BEDROOMS and TWO POINT FIVE bathrooms?
> USA! USA! USA!

Alabama? A trailer with 2.5 bathrooms?

In 'bama, the definition of "bathroom" is broad enough to mean
"kitchen sink", "empty Mason jar", or "muddy hole in the woods".


k.

--
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
really good at heart." - Anne Frank

Beable van Polasm

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Mar 22, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/22/00
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In article <8b86u4$3on$1...@fcnews.fc.hp.com>,

"Glenn Dowdy" <glenn...@agilent.com> wrote:
>
> Beable van Polasm wrote in message <8b6uub$iec$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
> >
>
> >So, there is a place in Alabama called "Auburn", and in
> >Auburn Alabama they have TRAILERS big enough to have
> >THREE BEDROOMS and TWO POINT FIVE BATHROOMS. And did I
> >mention FREE BEER!!!??!??
> >
> It's called a "dubblewide", you ignorant slut.

OOH YEAH BAYBEE! SPANK ME! So this "dubblewide" concept.
Is that a trailer that is twice as wide as an ordinary
trailer? An ordinary trailer is eight feet wide, right?
So these things are SIXTEEN FEET WIDE? How do they get
them down the road? Do they have pilot vehicles to stop
the other traffic? What is the point of living in a trailer
if it's too wide to actually go ON THE ROAD?

> >So who lives in Alabama? Who WANTS to live in Alabama?
>
> Been there, done that, ain't going back, no sirreebob.

Oh come on! It's only $167 per month! And you get FREE
BEER! I wonder why he's not offering free moonshine?

Beable van Polasm

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Mar 22, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/22/00
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In article <ktakki-2103...@news-west.newscene.com>,

kta...@artcrime.com (Karlo Takki) wrote:
> In article <8b6uub$iec$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Beable van Polasm
> <bea...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
> > > Description Three bed, 2.5 bath trailer, need one roomate to
> > > rent
> >
> > No, wait. You said it was an APARTMENT, now you say it's a
> > TRAILER??? As in a BOX that gets towed behind a CAR? And you
> > have a trailer with THREE BEDROOMS and TWO POINT FIVE bathrooms?
> > USA! USA! USA!
>
> Alabama? A trailer with 2.5 bathrooms?
>
> In 'bama, the definition of "bathroom" is broad enough to mean
> "kitchen sink", "empty Mason jar", or "muddy hole in the woods".

So this trailer has a kitchen sink, an empty Mason jar (that
probably used to be full of moonshine), and half a muddy hole.
WHERE IS THE OTHER HALF OF THE MUDDY HOLE??? I'M NOT MOVING
IN UNTIL YOU FIND THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOLE!

pete

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Mar 22, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/22/00
to
Beable van Polasm wrote:
>
> After my incredible success in finding Carlos "Froggy" May
> the lurv of his life on the web, I decided to see if I
> could do something for the rest of humanity. So I did a
> search on "free beer". AND! I FOUND SOME!! So if you want
> FREE BEER, go HERE:
[snip]

One day, on the menu board at the local bar,
it said "Free Beer Tomorrow".

The next day, I had my "usual" and paid the usual price;
I didn't say anything.

A few days later, I heard the bartender explain it to somebody,
but I didn't think it was funny.

--
pete

Mark Hill

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Mar 22, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/22/00
to
Beable van Polasm <bea...@my-deja.com> writes:
> So this trailer has a kitchen sink, an empty Mason jar (that
> probably used to be full of moonshine), and half a muddy hole.
> WHERE IS THE OTHER HALF OF THE MUDDY HOLE??? I'M NOT MOVING
> IN UNTIL YOU FIND THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOLE!

Where's Mr Hole when you need him? He could answer this question. He's
the RESIDENT HOLE EXPERT!! ! HAW HAW!

Chris Franks

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Mar 22, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/22/00
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Beable van Polasm wrote:
>
> OOH YEAH BAYBEE! SPANK ME! So this "dubblewide" concept.
> Is that a trailer that is twice as wide as an ordinary
> trailer? An ordinary trailer is eight feet wide, right?
> So these things are SIXTEEN FEET WIDE? How do they get
> them down the road? Do they have pilot vehicles to stop
> the other traffic? What is the point of living in a trailer
> if it's too wide to actually go ON THE ROAD?

Before I bought my house in Santa Clara, I lived in a doublewide in
Sunnyvale, Al Gore's favorite city. It cost me $50K. The dubblewide
consists of 2 12-foot wide sections, bolted together to be 24 feet wide,
56 feet long each. Each half is towed in by a pickup truck and they
are set up on cinder blocks so that they can fall down in an earthquake
or tornado. Once they are setup, you live in them just like an
apartment; they are not for travelling at all nosiree. I sold mine
and the company hauled the 2 parts out and put in a triple wide and sold
it to the next resident for $120K. That is a lot of money but still
1/3 of what a same-sized house would cost. Rent was $500 per month
and they HATE for you to call them trailers, because that would make
them trailer trash. The proper term is [Im-]"Mobile Home Park".
I also had a 21-foot trailer when I was in the Army and I pulled it
around with my '42 Chevvy when I moved from base to base.

Beable van Polasm

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Mar 23, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/23/00
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In article <38D968...@agilent.com>,
Chris Franks <chris_...@agilent.com> wrote:

> The dubblewide consists of 2 12-foot wide sections, bolted together
> to be 24 feet wide, 56 feet long each. Each half is towed in by a

If they are 12 feet wide, that would still be a "wide load"
wouldn't it? So do they need pilot vehicles to move them
around?

> pickup truck and they are set up on cinder blocks so that they can
> fall down in an earthquake or tornado. Once they are setup, you
> live in them just like an apartment; they are not for travelling at
> all nosiree. I sold mine and the company hauled the 2 parts out
> and put in a triple wide and sold it to the next resident for $120K.
> That is a lot of money but still 1/3 of what a same-sized house would
> cost.

It is a lot of money.

> Rent was $500 per month

The same as in Alabama! Did you get FREE BEER?

> and they HATE for you to call them trailers, because that would make
> them trailer trash. The proper term is [Im-]"Mobile Home Park".

In Austria, they might be called "caravans", and the park is
called a "caravan park". But I haven't seen any of these
"doublewides" in Austria. There is a type of building which
sounds similar which is called a "demountable building", or
in the vernacular a "donger". The "g" sound has got two
"g" sounds in it, like "dong ga".

> I also had a 21-foot trailer when I was in the Army and I pulled it
> around with my '42 Chevvy when I moved from base to base.

How come the Army let you live in a caravan? When I was
in the Army, they always gave me a beautiful hole in the
ground to live in. Well when I say "gave" I mean "ordered
me to dig" and when I say "beautiful", I am lying. Of
course if someone starts dropping mortars on you, you
would be very happy indeed to have a nice hole in the
ground.

That reminds me of one time a Lieutenant ordered us to
dig a beautiful hole in the ground. It was supposed to
be a machinegun pit, which has wings on it because you
need extra guys in the machinegun pit. So it looks like
this (top view):

\ /
\____/

The wings are supposed to point towards where the enemy
is expected to come from. He told us to dig it with the
wings pointing back towards the middle of our position.
So we said "Are you sure, sir? Because those wings are
supposed to point at the enemy." He said "Of course I'm
sure! I looked it up in the manual!", and sure enough,
he had the ditch digging manual right in his pocket.
So we said "Gissa look at that.", and opened it to the
page on "weapons pits" and showed him the diagram which
looked something like this:

ENEMY
^
|
\ /
\____/

And then we said "See? The wings are supposed to point
at the enemy!", and he said "Stop trying to cause trouble!
Everybody knows that the arrow means that's the way the
enemy is GOING! Now DIG THE PIT LIKE I TOLD YOU!".

"YES SIR!" we shouted. "SIR! Can we have it in writing
which way you want us to dig the pit?" and he drew a
picture for us and shouted at us to get digging.

So we dug and dug, and then the Major came around and
said "What the FUCK are you doing?" and we said
"DIGGING A PIT SIR!!". "Yes I can SEE you're digging a
pit, but WHY are you digging it pointing the wrong WAY?"
"BECAUSE WE GOT ORDERED TO DIG IT THIS WAY *SIR*!!!" We
shouted. "But don't you know that the wings are supposed
to point towards the enemy?", he asked. "YES SIR WE KNOW
THAT BUT LIEUTENTANT SMYTHE WANTS US TO DIG IT THIS WAY
AND LOOK WE'VE GOT IT IN WRITING *SIR*!!!".

So the Major shouts "WELL FILL THAT IN AND DIG IT THE
RIGHT WAY AROUND!" and then stamped off shouting "SMYTHE!
SMYYYYYYYYYYYYTHE!!". And we laughed. And then we filled
in the stupid backwards pit and dug a new one the right
way around. Ahhh those were the days. Just do what you're
told.

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