Slow going through the moult?
Andrea Chen
FALCONRY TERMS, AN ALTERNATIVE
BY MALCOLM ALLISON
AI - major road
ANKLET - A baby ank!
ASPERGILLOSIS - I do not know what a gillosis is but I'm sure it must be
handy to have a spare one
ASTROTURF - MARIJUANA.
AUSTRINGER - strange person who runs around the countryside shouting and
whistling And Carrying ladders, climbing ropes etc.
BAG - spouse.
BAGGY - descriptive term for eyes after spending the night under a tree
waiting For your gos to come down to the lure.
BATE - sandwiches etc. required whilst waiting for goshawk to return
BEAM - shaft of light used for locating lost hawks at night.
Bells - amber liquid also useful in above situation.
Block - What your head will be on if you are late back from a hawking
trip Again!
BRAILLE - the only style of writing you will be able to read after you
have tried To get your imprint female red-tail off her first kill.
BUSTARD - probably a misprint.
CERE - term often used by people who fly goshawks ie. Where is she, can
You cere?
CHECK - small piece of paper used for replacing lost hawks.
CLOSED RING - physical condition which you wont have when you first fly
your hawk Loose.
COPE - what you learn to do when things go wrong, because they will.
CRAB - parasitic louse often caught by falconers on overseas
field-meets.
CREANCE (pron. Crayons) - small sticks of brightly coloured wax used for
writing lost hawk Notices.
CROP - vegetation in fields for walking upon to prevent wellies getting
caked in mud.
DIURNAL - welsh falconer.
DNA - dyslexic falconers favourite clothes shop.
DUTCH HOOD - contraceptive device for falconer's wives.
ELECTRO-EJACULATION - £50.00 per session from madame fifi.
ENTER - you need to get permission to do this in order to remove your
bird From your neighbours cat, dog, duck, pigeon etc.
EGG - filling for sandwiches. (see bate)
EGG,GAS EXCHANGE - foul smelling flatulence caused by above.
EYAS - term used by west country falconers, such as. Eyas got me a new
ork T' fly.
EYRIE - used to locate tiercel, ie. Eyrie is over 'ere.
FEAK - another misprint.
FLAG - piece of white cloth waved at spouse on return home.
FOOT - part of spouses anatomy which she places at great speed on your
backside When you return home late again.
FURNITURE - items associated with falconry, straight jacket, valium,
detachable hood for anorak, lapel pins of hawks, beating stick ( for dog
), spare flat batteries, bag containing dead wildlife and enough nylon
line to hang several people or to knit yourself a new aviary. Plus a
foldaway seat so you can be comfortable whilst waiting for your bird to
return.
GORGE - steep sided inaccessible valley at the bottom of which your bird
Will make her first kill
HACK - general term for falconers attempt at cutting leather.
HAGGARD - descriptive term for falconer after season ends.
HARE - downy covering on falconers head (usually), which is frequently
Pulled out during training of hawks especially shortwings.
HAWKING DIARY - collection of fairy tales.
HOBBY - relaxing pastime, not falconry!
Hood - headgear for keeping hair dry whilst waiting for bird to come
Down from tree.
IMP - mischievous elf who sits on your shoulder and persuades you to
Slip your hawk Even though she is 6 ounces overweight.
IMPRINT - noisy b*****d.
INCUBATOR - heated display case for storing falconers egg collection.
JACK - tool used to remove vehicle from fields, often used just after
the words "yes we can get over that easy"
JERKIN - article of warm clothing, useful when waiting under trees.
JESSE - person who does not fly a hawk.
KECKS - slang term for trousers.
LEG MOUNT - manoeuvre performed by amorous dog usually on the leg of the
land owners wife/children.
LUGGER - term for carrying, as in, bo***ks I have to lugger all the way
up this F*****g hill.
MAN - person who does fly a hawk (see jesse).
MARK DOWN - another welsh falconer.
MAR-HAWK - hawk belonging to me.
MEWS - sound your neighbours cat makes when she discovers your eagles
New leash is 2 feet longer than her old one.
MUSKET - general term ie. Musket her weight down, musket some new
Batteries For this F*****g receiver.
MUTES - what members of the public turn into when asked if they have
seen a large bird wearing bells.
NEST - area of aviary for storing infertile eggs.
NEST LEDGE - part of aviary where bird sleeps, feeds, sh*ts. In fact,
does everything but breed.
PASSAGE - walkway between front and back door (usually muddy) down which
Hawks are carried.
PERCH - freshwater fish which you could be catching if only you had
chosen a sensible hobby.
PETTY SINGLE - one hit wonder.
PITCH, the - recreational grassland covered in short grass, ideal for
flying birds On creance, but not during a game of football.
PREY - request for divine intervention to retrieve your bird.
QUARRY - large, steep sided manmade hole in the ground, often filled
with water and with An island in the middle of which sits the only
moorhen in the county.
RABBIT - talk of hawks conquests. (see hawking diary).
RAKE-AWAY - young male falconer on a night out.
RANGLE - dispute between falconer and gamekeeper of land adjacent to
Flying area.
RECIEVER - long range device for finding out batteries are flat.(see
transmitter)
RING UP - general method of notifying friends of lost hawk.
ROBIN - male hobby, others Include darts, drinking beer, being sick and
falling over.
ROUSE, (pron. Ruse) - excuse given to spouse for being late yet again.
ROUSE,(pron. Rows) - domestic disputes which follow when spouse does not
believe above
SEMEN - members of the royal navy.
SEMEN COLLECTOR - lady of ill repute.
SLICE - portion of pork pie (see bate).
SLIP - ungraceful action carried out by falconer usually performed when
Bird is not secured and followed by the traditional cry of s**t or
Bo****ks.
SLIP UP WIND - what you should not do in front of landowners wife
following 8 pints of guiness and a curry.
SOAR - condition describing falconers legs after retrieving goshawk from
Brambles.
SOAR (2) - essential piece of equipment for recovering goshawk from
unclimable Tree.
SOARING - physical condition associated with indian meals.
STILL-HUNTING - excuse used by falconers whose bird wont return to the
fist, as in, I think I'll leave her up there she looks like she's still
hunting.
STOOP - descriptive term for the way falconer walks when carrying a bag
Full of Lures, usually associated with goshawks.
TAIL MOUNT - also £50.00 at Madame fifi's.
TAXIDERMY - foolproof way of ensuring you never loose your bird.
TIRING - term used for describing hawking in hilly countryside.
TIRING (2) - heavy lumps of clay which stick to your wellies like s**t
to a blanket (see crop).
TRAIN - method of transport which you wait for hours for but arrives
immediately when Your hawk lands on the fence next to the railway line.
TRANSMITTER - small device for allowing hawk to carry flat
batteries.(see receiver)
TRUSS - surgical appliance required after seasons hawking with goshawk
(see stoop).
WAIT ON - what your so called friends are doing at the local hostelry
whilst you wait in the pouring rain for your gos to come down.
WEATHER - atmospheric conditions usually wet and windy.
WEDDED - something falconers should not be for the sake of their long
suffering spouses.
WEIGHT - period of time, usually long, between slipping your goshawk and
getting her Back.
YARAK - place where ya 'ang ya coat.
Reprinted with permission, punctuation modified for Usenet readability.
-andrea-
fallin...@earthlink.net Falconry and the alt.sport.falconry FAQ at
http://home.earthlink.net/~fallinghawks
Volvo - doing a public service by providing cars for the blind.
If God had meant us to sleep, he would have made the backs of our skulls
flat.