Need Faire Jokes!
Lys
mistake of starting to tell a joke every morning to the receptionist where I
work. While this is good for the company, and I enjoy cheering her up in
the morning, I find myself in the position of running out of jokes!!!
I've used my entire stock of RenFaire jokes, and since that's most of my
stock of humor *snerk*...I'm getting desperate.
Now we come to you...my faire friends all, HELP ME!!! *LOL* I need jokes!
Jokes about sheep, jokes about bagpipers, anything! Darlene, the
receptionist, has been to faire a couple of times and I'm slowly
assimilating her into the Renfaire Collective *evil laughter*. She's become
addicted to Rennie humour.
Help me out here, folks. Post or e-mail me all the Faire humour you can
think of! I can print it all out, feed her a joke a day, and before she
knows it, she'll be selling her soul for more garb like the rest of us!
Thanks!
--
Lys
aka Svetlana Yasmina Ivanova
Snerkus Reptillius Averyus, She Who Wants All The Details!
Bard #151
Bards' Guild Treasurer
Official Mead Horde Dancing Girl #1
97% Freak!!!
treasur...@bards.atthefaire.com
lys_c...@NOSPAM.hotmail.com
AIM: RenFaireLys
ICQ 38797747
Yahoo Messenger: lys1022
http://bards.atthefaire.com
phil
>Now we come to you...my faire friends all, HELP ME!!! *LOL* I need jokes!
>Jokes about sheep, jokes about bagpipers, anything!
Why do bagpipers march when they play?
To get away from the noise!
Did you hear about the newlywed couple who didn't know the difference
between vaseline and KY jelly?
All their windows fell out!
Thank you! You've been a wonderful newsgroup!
Phil
visit the New York City Homebrewers Guild website:
http://www.pipeline.com/~dogglebe/nychg.html
Al White
> I've used my entire stock of RenFaire jokes, and since that's most of my
> stock of humor *snerk*...I'm getting desperate.
OK, this'll be a repeatfor some, 'cause I told it at the Golden whatzis a couple
of weeks ago.
And I warn ya - it isn't for the squeamish. But here goes. . .
Lady says to the Funeral Home director, "My husband is in black. He always
thought black was too somber; could you put him in a blue suit?"
and she hands him a blank check. "Sure thing!" he says.
Next day, the funeral goes as well as funerals can. Afterwards, the lady thanks
the director and says "Just tell me how much you wrote the check for, so I can
balance my checkbook."
"Funny thing" he says as he hands back the un-used blank check. "The lady whose
husband was in the other wing of the funeral home came to me and said, 'He never
wanted to be buried in a blue suit. Much too frivolous; undignified. Can you get
him a black suit?' So I looked at her husband, and at your husband, and I
thought, they are very close to the same size..."
"Yes?" asked the lady.
"So I switched the heads."
----------------------
Ba-dump bump...
"Storey"
--
Astoria Weaver
Bard #179, RenMerc #350
"Stinky Chucklebuns"
Loudus Hexadecimalis Obnoxious of Sarcastica.
Vending savior of tacky PJ's.
Storey's Story - http://sites.netscape.net/v2cib226/homepage
Cyberkender Esquire
Velcro gloves.
--
Cyber/<ender Esquire Punslinger-at-Large The Brass Kender
RenMerc and Rogue #159 Journeyman Bodice-ripper Fnord!
AFR Punarello of Sarcastica, Body-Chequor of Wise Fools and Bad Puns
High Priest to the Goddess of Love,
Evolver of Practical Sensuality and Passionate Innocence
cyberkende...@mminternet.com -- http://www.cyberkender.com
Brute Squad - Stealth Division
Apparently Appointed Mayor of There
Lo! Men have become the tools of their tools.
James Sweetland
What's the difference between a carny and a rennie?
Rennies have better teeth and better drugs.
And, I assume you have a version of the "you know you've been working
faire too long when...", although many of those do require an
explanation if you aren't into faire, which sort of shoots them down
as one-liners.
And, just one true story (it happened to me), and thus not truly a
"joke"
Me, working the crossbow game next to the joust:
He: mid 20s, as far as I could tell, sober:
He: Hey, are those real horses?
Me: Nay, good sir, they do be goats in horse costumes.
He: Yeah, that's what I thought.
Similar true re-enactor stories for all periods in Chas's McGregor
Games
site.
--
Dolt, the Poltroon
Lessa MacColin
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her
friends "My son is a
priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'"
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks
into a room, people
call him 'Your Grace.'"
The third Catholic crone says "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into
a room, people say
'Your Eminence.'"
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three
women give her this
subtle "Well...?"
Finally she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, sexy, antler wearing, body
building pagan. When he
walks into a room, women say, 'Oh my God.'"
--
Lessa
Yes, I work Faire. No, I don't remember your name either.
Angel of Destruction
Darth Lessa
AG# 023 THE Lessa. There can be only one.
West Coast Sergeant
BrassBytch
Redneck Goddess
Yeobabe and pickle bearer
http://www.angelfire.com/ca2/rdnkgddstrailerpark
Just the FAQ'S, Ma'am http://members.aol.com/jmcathcart/afr.html
Most men say I smother them....I say if you can hear them your not pushing
on the pillow hard
enough.
"Tolerance is a virtue, and with all of our different ways of saying
it, we are all dancing to the same record."
Eric tQ
Queen of the Dorks
"....and with the flick of my wrist, I could change your religion."
Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
L.E.S.S.A.: Lifeform Engineered for Sabotage and Scientific Assassination
Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen
Lys <ly...@home.com> wrote in message
news:qY_L6.78469$2U.36...@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com...
Anne Frates/Richard Michalski
along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a
Genie
pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in
total", says the Genie.
The Irish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was
a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of
fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye "FOOM" the
oceans were teaming with fish.
The English guy was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England,
protecting her, so that nothing will get in for all eternity. Again,
with a blink of the Genie's eye "POOF" there was a huge wall around
England.
The Scot asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick,
protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."
The Scot says, "Fill it up with water."
little1
That's a good one!
--
~Shawn
little1
wench #25
www.geocities.com/shawn_n_michael/
"Lessa MacColin" <TheLessasendmesome...@hotmail.com> wrote in
message news:VGeM6.33407$154.9...@typhoon.we.rr.com...