OT: From HRH The Queen to The US citizens
ladykathle...@my-deja.com
> >
> > Just received this from England:
> >
> > Subject: HRH Proclamation
> >
> > London, 10th November 2000
> >
> > To the citizens of the United States of America,
> >
> > Following your failure to elect a President of the USA to govern
yourselves
> > and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the
revocation
> > of your independence. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
will resume
> > a monarch's duties over all states, commonwealths and other
territories.
> >
> > To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please
comply with
> > the following acts:
> >
> > 1. Look up "revoke" in a dictionary
> > 2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God save the Queen"
> > 3. Start referring to "soccer" as football
> > 4. Start driving on the left side of the road.
> > 5. Start carrying umbrellas everywhere.
> > 6. Declare war on Quebec
> >
> > Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you
shortly to
> > ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
> >
> > Thank you for your cooperation and... cheerio!
>>hehheh.........
ladyk~
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
ELAINE M
president that I've seen yet!
Elaine ;Ţ
--
"Hurry, please. We have so much time, and so little to see. Wait a
minute! Strike that, reverse it." -Willy Wonka
primr...@my-deja.com
Absolutely hysterical!
A wonderful way to to laugh off the morbid display of political and
public indecision that plagues our country's leadership at this time.
God Save the Queen.....
and our Presidency *L*
Justin "Little" Louder
To the citizens of the United States of America.
In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA
and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
revocation of your independence, effective today. Her
Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II will resume
monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other
territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP, for
the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there
is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for
America without the need for further elections. Congress and
the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you
noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown
Dependency, the following rules are introduced with
immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English
Dictionary. Then look up "aluminum". Check the
pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly
you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler
noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let
Microsoft know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and
Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English
actors as the good guys.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God
Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
We would not want you to get confused and give up half way
through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is
only one kind of football. What you refer to as American
"football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are
aware that there is a world outside your borders may have
noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead
play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you
played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you
brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which
is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full
kevlar body armor like nancies). We are hoping to get
together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using
nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of
you who were not aware that there is a world outside your
borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have
never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "sh*t".
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will
be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be
called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it
is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you
will understand what we mean.
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us
crazy.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Xandriel
BELGRADE--Serbian president Vojislav Kostunica deployed more than 30,000
peacekeeping troops to the U.S. Monday, pledging full support to the troubled
North American nation as it struggles to establish democracy.
"We must do all we can to support free elections in America and allow democracy
to gain a foothold there," Kostunica said. "The U.S. is a major player in the
Western Hemisphere and its continued stability is vital to Serbian interests in
that region."
Kostunica urged Al Gore, the U.S. opposition-party leader who is refusing to
recognize the nation's Nov. 7 election results, to "let the democratic process
take its course."
"Mr. Gore needs to acknowledge the will of the people and concede that he has
lost this election," Kostunica said. "Until America's political figures learn
to respect the institutions that have been put in place, the nation will never
be a true democracy."
Serbian forces have been stationed throughout the U.S., with an emphasis on
certain trouble zones. Among them are Oregon, Florida, and eastern Tennessee,
where Gore set up headquarters in Bush territory. An additional 10,000 troops
are expected to arrive in the capital city of Washington, D.C. by Friday.
Though Kostunica has pledged to work with U.S. leaders, he did not rule out the
possibility of economic sanctions if the crisis is not resolved soon.
"For democracy to take root and flourish, it must be planted in the rich soil
of liberty. And the cornerstone of liberty is elections free of tampering or
corruption," Kostunica said. "Should America prove itself incapable of learning
this lesson on its own, the international community may be forced to take
stronger measures, which may involve calling on Tiny Blur an internationally
renowned war criminal who will bomb civilians and his unethical puppet war lord
Cock Robin who will scatter air burst landmines and use the British armed
forces as Mercenaries.
Public toilets will be put under the control of Gordia Bruin and Petra Svengali
Mandelbrot will have command over all male children. Lord Faulkbendr will be
put in charge of all entertainment to ensure it runs at a loss and syphon off
the money to ensure funding for propaganda.
This will all be done by stealth and backed by massive dishonest propaganda
under the name of the EU [Evil Union] and Americans can expect to be assured
that it is for their own good as millions of jobs are destroyed and all
American traditions are erradicated, even their own currency will be forced to
crash by the dishonest imposition of the EUro and the raiding of their gold
reserves and assets.
Your farming industry will be put under controls to ensure that it is non
profitable and benefits its own destruction by giving grants to those who are
non productive and imposing regulations to ensure the rest also become non
profitable. Fisheries will be made a common asset and only non Americans will
be permitted to fish in them. Oil will also become a common asset and all
proceeds will be paid to the central committee to squander on themselves and
projects outside of America. A levy will be placed on America of US$13,950,000
per hour - this is based on the £1,800,000 per hour being paid by Britain for
EU membership and the fact that America's population is approx. 5 times that of
Britain.
Fuel of course will be raised in price to align with Britain, with a tax to
fund the pet projects of the self styled elite and the ruling apparatchicks -
thus one gallon of fuel will be priced at $8.00 but so that people won't notice
it will be measured and priced in litres. This will also reduce the desire of
the peoples to move around, due to cost, and will control disent; this measure
together with surveilance cameras on all road junctions will permit the State
police to keep tabs on all who misguidedly value freedom. Likewise; so that the
massive inflationary price hikes that are inevitable, as we try to destroy your
economy; all goods on sale will have to be priced in a confusing manner in a
mix of metric, thus people won't notice. All copies of Websters dictionary
will be withdrawn and reprinted with amendments as follows:
Truth : anything that the self styled elite their puppets and apparatchicks say
Myth: any Facts which accidently fall into the hands of the masses of
controlled serfs.
Spin: any exposure of such 'myths' which find their way into the media.
Blasphemy: any exposure of the real workings of the State to the proletariat.
Christmas: a non denominational winter festival.
Self Employed: a disident working outside the system subject to maximum
bureaucracy.
We will then change the country's name to NAFTA and as soon as we can get away
with it will form the North American Union [NAU]. A dictator Committee will be
put in place to replace democracy and will be made up of failures and corrupt
individuals from Mexico, Haiti, Dominica, Cuba and other regional members of
the NAU, this will be called the NAU Commission and will have an unelected
President with a track record of corruption.
A Regional government will funded to take over day to day running of the
country and will be made up of a sexually dysfunctional clique of zealots and
their sychophants, a prerequisite of all these individuals will be an abiding
hatred of all that America has stood for for centuries and will be encouraged
in a cult of greed and envy. To this end and to provide future apparatchicks
schools will have their carriculum altered with a prime aim being to erradicate
all concepts of success and special studies will include Attrocities of
American Troops in Battle, Misdeeds of Past Presidents, The Iniquities of
Slavery, The Eradication of America's Self Styled Indigenous Peoples, The Home
Address & Telephone Number of Every Lynch Victim.
To further undermine America's National identity Mt. Rushmore will be recarved
to show a group of copulating homosexual drug addicts. The Statue of Liberty
will be replaced with an immense phalus modelled on Bill Clinton & the Dome on
all public buildings will be remodelled as a condom. Ballot boxes will be
placed on street corners as waste bins to remind Americans of what trash the
old democracy was.
The NAU & the EU can then proceed in the establishment of the New World Order
in total control of the serfs with their new rights imposed on them through The
Human Rights Convention which will control ALL rights and grant them when it
sees fit. Children of an increasingly lower age will be seen by the new State
as a sexual asset of the community and standards of education will be steadily
reduced to allow more time for indoctrination of children in schools to the
propaganda of the New World Order."
******************************
OK so that was a cheap shot at America's current problems BUT truth is often
stranger than fiction AND BEWARE this is almost exactly what has happened in
Britain, which is now ruled directly by a foreign and alien power - the EU
through its puppets and apparatchicks. Westminster is nothing more than the
braying of castrati as they can no longer make law and democracy is destroyed,
Westminster is just the museum of democracy which now just rubber stamps the
dictums of the dictator committee in the EU.
GOOD LUCK AMERICA as you are frog marched into the New World Order!
Xandriel ---<---<---{@
The Lady of the Rose
Wench # 318, Member of Guilde of St. Wilde
HotmamaJama of Sarcastica, If she Don't have it, you Don't need it,
and Widewiles of Sarcastica...the grin that wins..
Astoria Weaver
> BELGRADE--Serbian president Vojislav Kostunica deployed more than 30,000
> peacekeeping troops to the U.S. Monday, pledging full support to the troubled
> North American nation as it struggles to establish democracy.
> <snip>
> ******************************
> <snip>GOOD LUCK AMERICA as you are frog marched into the New World Order!
Good laugh, sobering eye-opener.
Thanks!
--
Astoria Weaver
"Stinky Chucklebuns"
Loudus Hexadecimalis Obnoxious of Sarcastica.Vending savior of tacky PJ's.
Bard #179, RenMerc #350
Commercial Plug: http://www.idealsolutionsint.com/reps/7605/
Kathleen Heinz
<mikb...@NOSPAMbellatlantic.net> wrote:
>Just received a longer one....
>My mom has been showing this all over Travis Air Force Base. Lots of laughs and giggles. Kat
--
Kathy Heinz
aka Kat Darnwell
The Water Otter
Guild of St. Cuthbert
RPFS
Wench #395 Madame Cum Laude
Nono Naynotte ofSarcastica, Dancing Gibsonian Girl
Heaven help my dancing partner!