How to use the word "Fuck" in every sentence

[days...@2015.org]

I once met a young guy who had the ability to use the word "Fuck"
(fucking, fucker, and any other derivitive of that word), at least once
in every sentence.

This takes a special skill, which I have not been able to accomplish.

Is there a special technique to be able to use that word at least once
in every sentence?

[alien8er]

Just remember the word's awesome, and perhaps unparalleled flexibility; it can be modified to be used as virtually any part of speech.

It can substitute for any proper or common noun (as long as its referent is clear from context). It can take on any verb form. It serves as adjective and adverb, as a general superlative, an expletive, and more.

Example:

Well, fuck! Just fucking remember the fuck's fucking awesome, and perhaps fucking unparalleled fucking flexibility; it can fucking be modified to fucking be fucking used as fucking virtually any fucking part of fucking speech, fucker.

Hope that helps.


Dr. HotSalt

[Don Phillipson]

<days...@2015.org> wrote in message
news:cknn2bpg2ggir6dq0...@4ax.com...

This speech pattern was common in many military units
in the middle of the 20th century, e.g. to report that the
collimator was broken the artilleryman might say: "The
fucking fucker is fucked."
--
Don Phillipson
Carlsbad Springs
(Ottawa, Canada)

[Opinicus]

On Sun, 25 Oct 2015 06:46:07 -0400, "Don Phillipson"
<e9...@SPAMBLOCK.ncf.ca> wrote:

>This speech pattern was common in many military units
>in the middle of the 20th century, e.g. to report that the
>collimator was broken the artilleryman might say: "The
>fucking fucker is fucked."

Rather like "Smurf-speak' actually. And South Park's Markler aliens
refer to all people, places, and things as "Marklar".

--
Bob
A shack on Sungoo
www.kanyak.com

[Ian Jackson]

In message <172c8cd8-97d5-4e33...@googlegroups.com>,
alien8er <alie...@gmail.com> writes

In my youth, I did a holiday job working in a brickworks. In the works
canteen, I soon found out it was de rigueur that every third word to be
'fucking'. The other every third word was 'bloody'. The actual 'text'
had to be squeezed into the remaining every third words.

--
Ian

[ADPUF]

Ian Jackson 18:36, domenica 25 ottobre 2015:

Bloody fucking interesting!



--
AIOE ³¿³

[Daniel James]

In article <cknn2bpg2ggir6dq0...@4ax.com>,

Days...@2015.org wrote:
> Is there a special technique to be able to use that word at least
> once in every sentence?

I seem to recall that this technique was documented in Private Eye in
the late 1970s. An afternoon in a library might be rewarding.

I also recall "The Skinhead's Hamlet" in a "Not The Nine O'Clock News"
diary pad thing, which used that word to great effect in a precis of
the famous play.

It does, indeed, lend itself to some very versatile constructions.
--
Cheers,
Daniel.

[occam]

On 26/10/2015 13:34, Daniel James wrote:
> In article <cknn2bpg2ggir6dq0...@4ax.com>,
> Days...@2015.org wrote:
>> Is there a special technique to be able to use that word at least
>> once in every sentence?
>
> I seem to recall that this technique was documented in Private Eye in
> the late 1970s. An afternoon in a library might be rewarding.
>
> I also recall "The Skinhead's Hamlet" in a "Not The Nine O'Clock News"
> diary pad thing, which used that word to great effect in a precis of
> the famous play.

Here is the script of that. Nice bit of potted Shakespeare.

----

THE SKINHEAD HAMLET

Shakespeare's play translated into modern English as published in
the TOIKE OIKE, the art and literary newspaper of the University of
Toronto Engineering Society. [w/apologies to the Bard :-) ]

by Richard Curtis


ACT I SCENE I

(The battlements of Elsinore Castle)
(Enter HAMLET, followed by GHOST.)

GHOST: Oi! Mush!
HAMLET: Yer?
GHOST: I was fucked!
(Exit GHOST)
HAMLET: O fuck.
(Exit HAMLET.)


ACT I SCENE II

(The Throneroom.)
(Enter KING CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, HAMLET and COURT.)

CLAUDIUS: Oi! You, Hamlet, give over!
HAMLET: Fuck off, won't you?
(Exit CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, COURT.)
HAMLET: (Alone) They could have fucking waited.
(Enter HORATIO)
HORATIO: Oi! Whatcha cock!
HAMLET: Weeeeey!
(Exeunt)


ACT I SCENE III

(Ophelia's Bedroom.)
(Enter Ophelia and Laertes.)

LAERTES: I'm fucking off now. Watch Hamlet doesn't slip you
one while I'm gone.
OPHELIA: I'll be fucked if he does.
(Exeunt.)


ACT I SCENE IV

(The Battlements.)
(Enter HORATIO, HAMLET, and GHOST.)

GHOST: Oi! Mush, get on with it!
HAMLET: Who did it then?
GHOST: That wanker Claudius. He poured fucking poison in my
fucking ear!
HAMLET: Fuck me!
(Exeunt.)


ACT II SCENE 1

(A corridor in the castle.)
(Enter HAMLET reading. Enter POLONIUS)

POLON: Oi! You!
HAMLET: Fuck off, grandad!
(Exit POLON. Enter ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN.)
RO & GUILD: Oi! Oi! Mucca!
HAMLET: Fuck off, the pair of you!
(Exit ROS and GUILD.)
HAMLET: (Alone) To fuck or be fucked.
OPHELIA: My Lord!
HAMLET: Fuck off to a nunnery!
(They exit in different directions.)


ACT III SCENE I

(The Throne Room)
(Enter PLAYERS and all COURT.)

PLAYER: Full thirty times hath Phoebus cart...
CLAUDIUS: I'll be fucked if I watch any more of this crap.
(Exeunt)


ACT III SCENE II

(Gertrude's Bedchamber.)
(Enter HAMLET, to GERTRUDE.)

HAMLET: Oi! Slag!
GERTRUDE: Watch your fucking mouth, kid!
POLON: (From behind the curtain) Too right.
HAMLET: Who the fuck was that?
(He stabs POLONIUS through the arras.)
POLON: Fuck!
HAMLET: Fuck! I thought it was that other wanker.
(Exeunt.)


ACT IV SCENE 1

(A Court Room)

CLAUDIUS: Fuck off to England then!
HAMLET: Delighted, mush.


SCENE II

(The Throne Room.)
(OPHELIA, GERTRUDE and CLAUDIUS.)
OPHELIA: Here, cop a whack of this.
(She hands GERTRUDE some rosemary and exits.)
CLAUDIUS: She's fucking round the twist, isn't she?
GERTRUDE (looking out the window) There is a willow grows
aslant the brook.
CLAUDIUS: Get on with it, slag.
GERTRUDE: Ophelia's gone and fucking drowned!
CLAUDIUS: Fuck! Laertes isn't half going to be browned off.
(Exeunt.)


SCENE III

(A Corridor)

LAERTES: (Alone) I'm going to fucking do this lot.
(enter CLAUDIUS.)
CLAUDIUS: I didn't fucking do it, mate. It was that wanker, Hamlet.
LAERTES: Well, fuck him.


ACT V SCENE 1

(Hamlet's Bedchamber.)
(HAMLET and HORATIO seated.)

HAMLET: I got this feeling I'm going to cop it, Horatio, and
you know, I couldn't give a flying fuck.
(Exeunt.)


SCENE II

(Large Hall.)
(Enter HAMLET, LAERTES, COURT, GERTRUDE, and CLAUDIUS.)

LAERTES: Oi, wanker. Let's get on with it.
HAMLET: Delighted, fuckface.
(They fight and are poisoned by the poisoned sword.)
LAERTES: Fuck!
HAMLET: Fuck!
(The QUEEN drinks.)
GERTRUDE: Fucking odd wine!
CLAUDIUS: You drunk the wrong fucking cup, you stupid cow!
HAMLET: (Pouring the poison down CLAUDIUS' throat) Well, fuck you!
CLAUDIUS: I'm fair and squarely fucked.
LAERTES: Oi, mush. No hard feelings, eh?
HAMLET: Yer.
(LAERTES dies)
HAMLET: Oi! Horatio!
HORATIO: Yer?
HAMLET: I'm fucked. The rest is fucking silence.
(HAMLET dies)
HORATIO: Fuck! That was no ordinary wanker, you know.
(enter FORTINBRAS.)
FORTIN: What the fuck's going on here?
HORATIO: A fucking mess, that's for sure.
FORTIN: No kidding. I see Hamlet's fucked.
HORATIO: Yer.
FORTIN: Fucking shame. Fucking good bloke.
HORATIO: Too fucking right.
FORTIN: Fuck this for a lark then. Let's piss off.
(Exeunt with alarums.)

---

(END)

[Opinicus]

On Tue, 27 Oct 2015 08:26:10 +0100, occam <oc...@127.0.0.1> wrote:

>> I also recall "The Skinhead's Hamlet" in a "Not The Nine O'Clock News"
>> diary pad thing, which used that word to great effect in a precis of
>> the famous play.

>Here is the script of that. Nice bit of potted Shakespeare.

Many thanks for that.

[Ian Jackson]

In message <bcku2btfv72ff111s...@4ax.com>, Opinicus
<gez...@kanyak.com.which.is.not.invalid> writes

>On Tue, 27 Oct 2015 08:26:10 +0100, occam <oc...@127.0.0.1> wrote:
>
>>> I also recall "The Skinhead's Hamlet" in a "Not The Nine O'Clock News"
>>> diary pad thing, which used that word to great effect in a precis of
>>> the famous play.
>
>>Here is the script of that. Nice bit of potted Shakespeare.
>Many thanks for that.
>

I'm sure Shakespeare would have approved.
--
Ian

[Ding Bat]

On Sunday, October 25, 2015 at 11:46:57 AM UTC+5:30, alien8er wrote:
> It can substitute for any proper or common noun (as long as its referent is clear from context). It can take on any verb form. It serves as adjective and adverb, as a general superlative, an expletive, and more.
>
> Example:
>

> Well, fuck! Just fucking remember the fuck's fucking awesome, and perhaps fucking unparalleled fucking flexibility; it can fucking be modified to be fucking used as fucking virtually any fucking part of fucking speech, fucker.

>
> Hope that helps.
> Dr. HotSalt

Arguably more creative than James Joyce in Ulysses but even less palatable. Here's a vocabulary exercise: Replace all instances of the f word with other words without changing the meaning of the sentence.

[zahoora...@gmail.com]

Fuking