Corporal Punishment (double-drabble)
BKWillis
"But, Lord Borusa--"
"But nothing, Andred!" thundered the Cardinal. "Your men's
performance during the Sontaran invasion was simply appalling
and steps must be taken to shape you up."
"But sir, you can't expect us to take orders from _that_." There
was a murmur of agreement from the Citadel Guards lined up
behind Andred.
Borusa scowled. "_That_, as you call him, is the most dangerous
drill instructor in the Universe."
"That, sir," retorted Andred, "is a crukking _frog_."
Indeed it was: a bipedal red frog about two feet tall. It would've
looked ridiculous standing there, but its facial scar and bandolier
elevated it to merely silly-looking.
"That's _Corporal_ Crukking Frog to you," snarled the amphibian.
"And in the presence of your drillmaster you will stand at...
ATTEN-TION!" Despite the tiny body, the voice was huge,
booming, demanding obedience. The assembled Guards snapped-
to.
"You there!" he shouted at Andred. "Clench your... EARS!"
Andred rolled his eyes. "That's biologically _impossible_, you
silly--"
"UNACCEPTABLE!" roared the frog, tossing a lit cherry-bomb
into the Captain's still-open mouth.
BOOM!
The frog smirked at the stunned troops. "I understand you
Gallifreyan sissy-boys have thirteen lives. Good. You're gonna
_need_ 'em to get through Corporal Giroro's boot camp!"
--BKWillis
'Doctor Who' is property of the BBC.
'Sgt. Frog' is property of Mine Yoshizaki.
vj
You just blew up Andred!
Oh, dear. That Frog is not going to last long once Leela hears about
*that*. Heh.
Paul Gadzikowski
> "You there!" he shouted at Andred. "Clench your... EARS!"
I'd like to see Sargeant Frog clench his ears, given that frogs don't
have external ears.
Which isn't to say I think he couldn't do it. A good sargeant doesn't
demand anything of his men he's unwilling or unable to do himself.
Paul Gadzikowski, scar...@iglou.com
http://arthurkingoftimeandspace.com/0001.htm New cartoons daily
http://arthurkingoftimeandspace.com/3faces/aaaa.htm Fanfiction
cartoons
"How sad if our freedom to think about the immensity of time and space
could be defined by what someone informs us that we believe."
BKWillis
<vj wrote:>
> *stares*
>
> You just blew up Andred!
Come now, haven't we all thought about it at some point?
>
> Oh, dear. That Frog is not going to last long once Leela hears about
> *that*. Heh.
You provided me with some inspiration, there.
Thanks for reading.
BKWillis
--
"All I care about is seeing how long I can dance on the bottom of Hell's
cauldron."
--Ms. Balalaika in 'Black Lagoon'
BKWillis
<Paul Gadzikowski wrote:>
>I'd like to see Sargeant Frog clench his ears, given that frogs don't
>have external ears.
Actually, the eponymous Sgt. Frog of the series is a different character,
Sgt. Keroro, who is nominally Cpl. Giroro's platoon leader in the invasion
forces of Planet Keron. Keronians may or may not have external ears, though
their hats do have earflaps, but the issuing of biologically-impossible
commands followed by explosive punishment for failure to obey is a running
gag in the series: Eat this crushed ice with your ears! Grit your eyes!
etc.
>Which isn't to say I think he couldn't do it. A good sargeant doesn't
>demand anything of his men he's unwilling or unable to do himself.
There's a distinct lack of good sergeants and NCOs in 'Sgt. Frog',
particularly in the protagonists' platoon. Sgt. Keroro is a lazy slacker
who'd rather build plastic models and watch daytime TV than fight battles.
Tech specialist Sgt. Kururu is a pervy, sadistic mad-scientist type who
views his comrades as guinea pigs. Weapons specialist Cpl. Giroro believes
that the only things that shouldn't be blown up are those that should be
shot, instead. Assassin Cpl. Dororo has an abandonment complex and
crippling self-esteem issues from his childhood. And martial-arts
specialist Pvt. Tamama has multiple-personality disorder, no impulse
control, and confused sexual preference. This is the crack military unit
tasked with conquering Earth.