[ADULT] Fanfic from alt.mpt3k.creative
BKWillis
with a special bonus for all our adoring fans out there!
Recently, we here at MPT3k, Inc. received the following message from the
Executive Director of our Official Corporate Fan Club regarding the
availability of mpt3k fan fiction:
>As the official head of fan relations with the MPT3k staff (or
>whatever my title is), I have here the results of a vote to have a
>chapter or two of "Satellite of Lust" posted here:
>
>In favor of posting: 97.3%
>Against posting: 1.6% (Curiously enough, these were all members of the
> PMEB-EF mailing list, who claimed that they had
> first dibs on it...)
>Margin of error: 1.1% (Nyssaias and Embericles kept sending votes from
> forged addresses...)
Now, as you all know, we here at MPT3k, Inc. always aim to please. How else
will we stay on the air, after all? Anyway, to that end, we have arranged to
provide the following sample of a typical piece of fan fiction from the
newsgroup alt.mpt3k.creative for those of you who may be unable to access that
group. Please note before reading further that this is an [ADULT] piece and
contains explicit sexual situations and language and should not be viewed if
such are offensive to you. Then again, if that sort of thing offended you, you
probably wouldn't be an MPT3k fan to begin with. At any rate, here for your
viewing 'pleasure', we present...
SATELLITE OF LUST
CHAPTER 4: THINGS THAT GO SQUISH IN THE NIGHT
by MH
Recap:
In the last episode, Nyssa's experiment with a new, super-powered
aphrodisiac virus went awry, causing Number One to become
locked in his female form. To make matters worse, one-too-many
whaps on the head have now caused Number One to actually
think he _is_ a girl. When she announced that she wanted to be a
mother, Doug locked himself in his room and welded the door
shut. Diane was also affected by a mutated strain of the virus and
was last seen in the Artificial Reality Machine with the entire
male cast of 'Gundam Wing'. Meanwhile, Mistress Helen and
Nyssa have returned to the lab to work on a 'cure'...
----
"So, you have an idea for a cure, then?" Helen asked.
"Oh, I have a couple of notions," the Trakenite replied, a
mischievous gleam in her eyes. She bent across the worktable
to pick up one of the test tubes, in doing so confirming what
Helen had suspected all along, that she was buck-naked under
that lab coat.
Nyssa glanced back over her shoulder, giggling sultrily at the
expression on the Mistress's face. "It looks like you have some
notions of your own," she purred, giving a little wiggle.
The dominatrix tore her smoky gaze from Nyssa's pert bottom to
her face, drawn a step closer by the siren-call of those dancing
green eyes and darting tongue. "That's just the aphrodisiac
talking," Helen breathed as she reached out a gloved hand,
running the leather-clad fingers up the inside of one creamy
thigh. Nyssa shivered as the questing digits touched a certain
spot. "If I go any further with this, I'll be taking advantage of
you." Helen's voice was a shuddery silky cat-purr as she traced
her fingers round and round.
"And do you have a problem with that?" Nyssa husked.
"No. I _like_ the idea of taking advantage of you." She pulled
the unresisting mad scientist roughly to her, already pawing open
the buttons on the lab coat, kneading the sweet hot flesh beneath...
----
"Oh, fudge!" The female Number One -- 'Nummy-chan', she'd
taken to calling herself -- stared morosely out the window at the
passing stars, a self-pitying pout on her full lips. "Won't someone
help me be a mommy?" She'd waited for most of a day outside of
Douggie's door, but Douggie seemed to be really scared of
something. Nummy-chan didn't know what could have him so
frightened and tried to help calm him down by talking about all
the wonderful things they could do together, but that had for
some reason seemed to make him worse. She'd decided to leave
him alone after he'd shouted back something about having a
Kryptonite crucifix and not being afraid to use it.
She'd then tried calling down to Adric and company to see if they
could help, but that hadn't worked either. And here she'd been so
sure that they wouldn't be able to resist her in her cute fishnets and
minidress, but instead of getting her way with the men down
there, Harry had run away screaming while Francois had passed
out with a severe nosebleed and Adric just paced back and forth,
not looking at her and chanting, "Remember, she's a guy," over
and over again, for whatever reason.
Nummy-chan sighed, her full breasts swelling tautly against the
velvet minidress in a way that made her feel all tingly. A really
good kind of tingly. She sighed again, just to enjoy the feel. Ooh,
that was nice. She cupped a hand over one ripe breast and gently
squeeze-stroked it, feeling the nipple go firm under her fingertips.
That was the way, oh yes... Her other hand slipped under the hem
of her minidress, which would have been barely below her
panties, had she been wearing any. Her breath started coming in
short gasps as her fingers found a tiny bud. A slight pinch and
a flick of her index finger, and a small moan escaped her.
"Um, excuse me?" a strangely familiar voice said from behind her.
"Eeek! A pervert!" She whirled around, a shojo mallet forming
in her hand and slamming down on the head of her 'assailant',
who crumpled nicely to the floor.
Nummy-chan stood there, blushing furiously and blinking in
astonishment at the man she'd knocked out. He seemed oddly
familiar, a shortish, dark man of about thirty, clad in bell-bottom
jeans, an 'ERA Now!' t-shirt, and Birkenstock sandals. He was
also not breathing.
"Oh no! What did little Nummy-chan do?!" The redhead knelt
over her unfortunate victim, noting with concern the bluish pallor
that was creeping over his tan skin. Thinking quickly, she leaned
across his chest, placed her mouth against his, and blew forcefully
into his lungs. She repeated this action a couple of times, then
slapped him lightly on the cheek. The man coughed out a weak
breath, but didn't stir. Nummy-chan again locked her lips firmly
over his and blew deeply into his mouth, feeling the heat of his
exhale against her lips. She did it again and this time the man
responded, coughing again and then taking in a long, shuddering
breath. His gray-green eyes opened and stared weakly up into her
own blue ones.
"Wha- what happened?" he asked. "And who are you?"
"I'm Nummy-chan," she breathed, not getting off his chest. "And
I'm so sorry! It was all my fault. You caught me by surprise and I
just panicked."
"Oh, er, that's... okay," the man said nervously. "I shouldn't have
invaded your personal comfort zone like that. It's a form of
passive aggression and I'd hate to make you feel... uneasy...
Uh, what are you doing?"
Nummy-chan licked her lips, the stranger's taste still on them.
She leaned closer across his chest, looking at him as if he were
the main course at a cheap buffet. As she moved, her right breast
popped free of the low-cut minidress, its rock-hard nipple
brushing against the man's broad chest. "Why do you ask?"
she growled playfully. "Don't you like it?"
The man laughed nervously and tried to wiggle out from under
her, but a lightning-quick grab for his wrists pinned him beneath
her while simultaneously putting her half-bare breasts in his face.
"Of course, I respect a woman who takes charge of a situation,"
the man babbled, trying to look anywhere but at the mouth-
watering maracas in front of him. "But I try to be a true Feminist
and see more to a woman than just her sexuality or the allure of
her, uh, body." The man jumped a little as she began to slide her
bare leg against his thigh. "Did I mention my name?" he said
desperately. "I'm Nega-One. I'm a social activist. And a
Feminist. Did I mention that part? Heh heh..."
"Screw the Feminism," she breathed in his ear as she slid down
his body. She let go with one hand and stroked it down to his
zipper. "And screw me, too, while you're at it, big boy..."
----
"So, what's our next fanfic to send to those crypto-Fascists in
orbit, my dear?"
Varne pried her mouth away from Tegan's clavicle and pressed a
key on the terminal beside the bed. "It's bad," she said as the fic
came up on the screen.
"As bad as you?" Tegan teased. She gasped as Varne's fingers
lengthened suddenly, thrusting deep.
"Nothing's as bad as me," the redhead purred. "But this is a
different kind of bad. A bad kind of bad."
"In what way, darling?"
"It's a Doctor Who/Slayers crossover." Varne abruptly took a
keen interest in what Tegan was doing to her toes.
"And what's so bad about that?" the Aussie revolutionary asked,
popping the other girl's big toe out of her mouth.
"It's a Doctor Who/Slayers crossover slash fic."
"And what's so bad about that?" Tegan began kissing her way up
the shapeshifter's smooth calf.
"It's a Doctor Who/Slayers crossover slash fic featuring Kroll and
Shabranigdo."
Tegan let go of Varne's leg and looked up at her face. "That's
bad..."
"Squid and lobster salad," Varne said around a frightening grin.
The two shared an evil chuckle before their mouths were occupied
again.
----
Meanwhile, inside the Artificial Reality Machine...
"Oh, Heero! Oooh, Duo! Ooohhowww! Wufei, put that thing
away!"
--MH
Next Episode:
Nummy-chan decides that Nega-one isn't husband material and sets her eyes on
Francois the Ogron; Nyssa shows Mistress Helen a whole new use for petri
dishes; and Tegan reaches a profound dialectical epiphany regarding the role of
the industrial proletariat in a post-capitalist society and has lots of kinky
lesbian sex.
----
This fanfic brought to you through the efforts of MPT3k, Inc. MPT3k: If we
didn't do it, somebody else would.
(BKWillis's Notes:
I'm sorry! Please don't kill and/or sue me! It's just for a laugh, right?
It's meant to be funny. And bad. Haha! You know, parody. Doug, Helen, Ken,
please put down those chainsaws... Oh dear...
All characters are property of their creators.
Please don't archive this!)
David S. Rubin
> At any rate, here for your viewing 'pleasure', we present...
> SATELLITE OF LUST
Brad, you're the greatest!! ROFL
> All characters are property of their creators.
> Please don't archive this!)
Too late - I already got it! *snicker*
cheers,
DSR
Douglas B. Killings
> I'm sorry! Please don't kill and/or sue me! It's just for a laugh, right?
> It's meant to be funny. And bad. Haha! You know, parody. Doug, Helen, Ken,
> please put down those chainsaws... Oh dear...
Oh no, it's not _me_ you have to explain this to. It's my wife.
(No, dear. I had nothing to do with this. Honest!! I mean it! I have no idea
who this "nummy-chan" person is! Errr.... *Help?*)
--
_______________________________________________________________
| Douglas B. Killings |
| Email: DeTr...@EnterAct.Com |
| Website: http://www.enteract.com/~detroyes/teotp/teotp.html |
|=============================================================|
| "Any fool can walk on water if the world is cold enough." |
|=============================================================|
| "Government is best which governs least."-Thomas Jefferson |
| http://www.libertarian.org |
---------------------------------------------------------------
David S. Rubin
> Oh no, it's not _me_ you have to explain this to. It's my wife.
but Doug, you were the very first person to vote in FAVOR of receiving
this fic...
<whistles innocently>
cheers,
DSR
Official MPT3k Fan Liason-thingy
Douglas B. Killings
> but Doug, you were the very first person to vote in FAVOR of receiving
> this fic...
What the....? I never....
(checking headier information of said email)
NYSSAIAS!!! EMBERICLES!!!! I'll get you for this!!!
(Um, sorry dear. Who are...? Oh, no one. No one at all... <:::nervous
laughter:::> )
--
Current Medal Count: 18 (4G/7S/7B) GO TEAM USA!!!
J2rider
Douglas B. Killings
> SATELLITE OF LUST
>
> CHAPTER 4: THINGS THAT GO SQUISH IN THE NIGHT
>
> by MH
Dear god. Mark Hamill has now reached a new low.
BKWillis
>Brad, you're the greatest!! ROFL
>
<big ol' scheiss-eatin' grin> Well, I do try. Glad ya enjoyed it.
BKWillis
--
"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why
several of us died of tuberculosis."
--Jack Handey
BKWillis
>"David S. Rubin" wrote:
>
>> but Doug, you were the very first person to vote in FAVOR of receiving
>> this fic...
>
>What the....? I never....
>
>(checking headier information of said email)
>
>NYSSAIAS!!! EMBERICLES!!!! I'll get you for this!!!
>
>(Um, sorry dear. Who are...? Oh, no one. No one at all... <:::nervous
>laughter:::> )
>
BKWillis: Right. I'll get to the bottom of this. Nyssaias! Embericles!
Front and center!
[The two Muses flutter in, looking annoyed.]
Embericles: Yes, o omnipresent authority figure?
BKWillis: No more 'Baldur's Gate' for you, Jaheira Junior. What do you two
know about a series of forged e-mails?
Nyssaias: What makes you think we'd know anything about phony requests for
pornographic fanfic? Oops...
BKWillis: As I thought. You two know what this means?
[The Muses both blench in horror.]
Embericles: Come on, have a heart, boss!
Nyssaias: Please! Anything but the Punishment Jar!
BKWillis: No, this is definitely a Punishment Jar offense. Both of you draw
twice.
[BKWillis holds out a Mason jar full of small slips of paper. With vast
reluctance, each of the little winged girls pulls out two slips.]
BKWillis: Well? What have you got?
Embericles: 'Manimal' and 'Are You Being Served?'.
Nyssaias: 'Leave it to Beaver' and 'Baywatch Nights'.
BKWillis: [chuckles evilly] Well, it sounds like you've got a lovely four-way
crossover to plot.
Embericles: Aw, c'mon! Don't make us do this!
BKWillis: Tough. Shouldn't have been causing trouble. Now get to work.
Embericles: This is going to be so painful.
Nyssaias: My head hurts already.
BKWillis: And I'm taking away your 'Bondage Fairies' manga, too.
Nyssaias and Embericles: Waah! You're heartless!
helen.fayle
BKWillis <bradk...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20020218234252...@mb-mi.aol.com...
> <Executive Director David S Rubin wrote:>
>
> >Brad, you're the greatest!! ROFL
> >
>
> <big ol' scheiss-eatin' grin> Well, I do try. Glad ya enjoyed it.
>
> BKWillis
I enjoyed it too, sugar... But you will keep cutting away just before the
really juicy bits... <tickles Brad under the chin> But keep it up, big boy,
it's getting interesting... <g>
helen.fayle
Douglas B. Killings <detr...@EnterAct.COM> wrote in message
news:3C71C0D2...@EnterAct.COM...
> BKWillis wrote:
>
> > I'm sorry! Please don't kill and/or sue me! It's just for a laugh,
right?
> > It's meant to be funny. And bad. Haha! You know, parody. Doug, Helen,
Ken,
> > please put down those chainsaws... Oh dear...
>
> Oh no, it's not _me_ you have to explain this to. It's my wife.
>
> (No, dear. I had nothing to do with this. Honest!! I mean it! I have
no idea
> who this "nummy-chan" person is! Errr.... *Help?*)
Oh, come on, if she gets really pissy, we'll just show her the collection of
porn mags you keep under your bed in the SOL.... that should take her mind
off "Nummy-chan"... <snigger>
MH
Douglas B. Killings
> Oh, come on, if she gets really pissy, we'll just show her the collection of
> porn mags you keep under your bed in the SOL.... that should take her mind
> off "Nummy-chan"... <snigger>
They aren't porno mags, Helen. They're mature comic books drawn by some of the
best artists in Japan... ;-)
--
Current Medal Count: 19 (4G/8S/7B) GO TEAM USA!!!
ken...@cix.compulink.co.uk
bradk...@aol.com (BKWillis) wrote:
> Doug, Helen, Ken,
> please put down those chainsaws... Oh dear...
Who me I would not be so crude. Magnus will be dropping i for a
personal interview.
Ken Young
ken...@cix.co.uk
Maternity is a matter of fact
Paternity is a matter of opinion
Graham Woodland
>Now, as you all know, we here at MPT3k, Inc. always aim to please. How else
>will we stay on the air, after all? Anyway, to that end, we have arranged to
>provide the following sample of a typical piece of fan fiction from the
>newsgroup alt.mpt3k.creative for those of you who may be unable to access that
>group. Please note before reading further that this is an [ADULT] piece and
>contains explicit sexual situations and language and should not be viewed if
>such are offensive to you. Then again, if that sort of thing offended you, you
>probably wouldn't be an MPT3k fan to begin with. At any rate, here for your
>viewing 'pleasure', we present...
>
>
>SATELLITE OF LUST
>
>CHAPTER 4: THINGS THAT GO SQUISH IN THE NIGHT
>
>by MH
>
>
Now, while a certain amount of frolicsomeness can be excused after the
[ADULT] watershed, I just feel that I ought to point out on behalf of
the decent normal licence-fee-dodger in the street that 'MH' exceeds the
bounds of... er... licence in several alarming respects:
1) Tegan's making out with a character who has shapeshifterly powers and
a disposition to use them in the ways that count. Ew!
2) Lobster-squid salad. EWWW!
3) Nummo-chan's acquiring a more urgent craze for True Maternal
Fulfilment than SF has seen since E E w w w 'Doc' Smith perpetrated his
now legendary _Masters of the Vortex_ --
-- with *Nega-One*, yet --
-- and evoking even the most fleeting suspicion that N-chan might
eventually bring this abominable act of autoneganarcissigenation to
blasphemous, unhallowed fruition. YCH O FI, OY!
4) The completely scandalous cut-away from Nyssa and Mistress Helen just
when I was getting --
[Sheepish cough]
-- my coat. Which I will now proceed to do. I was not here. I didn't
post a thing. It was two other Muses anyway...
[Offslinks]
Cheers,
--
Gray
http://www.quilpole.demon.co.uk
"She does not get eaten by the sharks at this time."
- William Goldman, _The Princess Bride_.