2024/02/05 Monday: Atmosphere Afire

[Richard Silk]

In my personal life, I'm in the process of getting the paperwork and medical items in order for my elderly mother (94) to move into a retirement home / assisted living (level 2, on up)— and all this has been moving like *clockwork* (well, more like a "perfect landing," which reminds me of that dream I posted a week or so ago, regarding simply "flying" (without any aid) and executing a perfect, counter-clockwise arc, like from 100' altitude at 12 Noon, 0° North, down to around 50' altitude at 9 o'clock, 270° due west, to landing upright, perfectly, at 0' altitude, facing 90° due east (if I remember the dream correctly, although I'm a tad uncertain as to *precisely* which direction I was facing upon landing.))

Today is the day when she gets (along with a shower and change of clothes) an assessment from the facility itself, as well as a visit to her *new* doctor (and all the paperwork that *that* will involve.)

So last night, *likely* no dreams *until* shortly before waking (around dawn) wherein the dreamer was *as if* at a public event, similar to a baseball game, although the surrounding area and people were *way* less pronounced, as "in the background." (It could've been anywhere involving an open field, for example, with some public witnesses, etc.)

Then the air simply "incinerated," turned to fire, as the view turned from "clear view" to (red? to) yellow to white almost instantly, and that was the end of the dream. Clarity: apocalyptic? (Not to panic, however, as my elderly mother has opted for cremation, and that *may* have simply been her "last dream" as "the dreamer." (I'm suddenly very sad.) Oh well, Life (and the rest of the day's events) beckons.

[Richard Silk]

Monday afternoon (2024/02/05) I took Mom to her new doctor (Dr. H.) as her long-time doctor (Dr. E.) had to close shop because his building's co-tenant closed shop and Dr. E. was unable to find another partner to take up the lease for the other half of the building.

So Mom's going to see her new doctor (last Monday) which was timing *perfectly* with her migration into a retirement home (that's been "in the works" for awhile now) and the retirement community requested a covid/WuFlu swab and a TB scan, either the skin test or a chest X-ray, so we opted for the X-ray because it would be (theoretically) faster.

Yesterday (Tuesday) I'm in the office of the retirement community (aka "the Happy Home") filling out all the legal papers (there's nearly ⅓ʳᵈ of a ream of papers!) when I get a call from Dr. E's office, that Mom's X-rays show signs of pneumonia / fluid, and she needed to get the E.R. *pronto!*

Well, I went home (from the Happy Home) to give her one of her favorite meals (beans, but with some extras that I pitch in) then I took her to the E.R., that being around 6:30 PM-ish, and she was practically hibernating except for when they jabbed her for an IV to take her blood, and they *kept blowing* veins / hemolizing (that word is worth up to 315 points in Scrabble!) the samples. (They never got a clean blood test for her kidneys, but that really was immaterial to the cause.)

The result was she was discharged around 11:30 PM and started on some antibiotics today (as well as having had some from last night at the E.R.) This means she's "good to go" for the Happy Home.

Well, as a result of the late-night ordeal, even though I got the dog out around dawn, I still wanted to sleep in a bit (like until *nearly* noon!) and *then* I had at least 2 dreams that were of mention, so here they are:

1) The dreamer was viewing a scene that was more dim than sunny, nearly cartoonish in coloring. The main focus of the area was a pond of sorts, and in that pond were some curious fish, one of which seemed to resemble myself, and another that seemed *dangerous* to the point that the dreamer was calling for anyone *in* the pond to get *out* of the pond!

Another *part* of this same pond-scene involves the dreamer *removing* --- some *thing* --- from the dreamer's torso, from around the right lung / ribs area, something that *felt* like a suction-based leech. Regardless of who it was doing what, the end result was that there was a sense of avoidance of a parasite / death of some form.

Yet *another* part of this same pond-scene involved the dreamer seeing a *wee, small critter* (stone-shaped object) near the edge of the pond (up *almost directly* ahead, *possibly* slightly to the right of the position / direction the dreamer was facing) and it gave the dreamer the sense of a turtle with its head stuck in the mud of the bank, so the dreamer reached forth and plucked the object out of the mud bank and looked at it, and sure enough, it looked like a turtle had its head pulled *way* inside its shell. (Upon writing this up, the *face* of that turtle was very reminiscent of my elderly mother with the oxygen cannula on her face.)

Upon pulling the turtle *from* the mud bank (and seeing its face) the turtle became a small (baby?) cottontail rabbit, and while the dreamer held the rabbit for only a moment, the dreamer knew instinctively that wild baby rabbits have no desire to be held, and it hopped away.

I can *only relate this* analogously to the fact that *tomorrow,* Mom will be moving to her new "Happy Home." I only have maybe *one* (MAYBE two, with an imaginary 3ʳᵈ) memories from my early *early* infancy on Leaf Avenue. All my main childhood memories (and from August 2013 until today) are from this home that she and Dad built back around 1963/64. This being her last night here, she's *very much akin* to a turtle in hibernation with her head in the mud bank. I'm *very much hoping* that as of tomorrow, she'll "transition into" that baby bunny rabbit and begin a new life hopping forwards :-) (Clarity 7-ish to 8-ish, as that pond scene was *murky*!)

In another dream, what I can recall is the dreamer meeting a young (presumably married?) couple as if the couple had knocked on the door of the dreamer, and the dreamer was opening the door to them.

The couple presented the dreamer with a baby, like "new born" status, *possibly/presumably* a boy, and the dreamer experienced a moment of joy, as if "*This* is for *me*?" but that moment *transitioned* as if in an instant into an image of a very elderly old woman (on the left, very much presumably as my mother) kissing the infant (as I recall, the baby was on the right facing her) although the elderly woman was *rather shaky* / feeble, seen as a light-blue, light-on-black silhouette, while the baby looked just like a baby (full color, life, solid, etc.)

That image simply ended, and I really couldn't tell you if that end scene was Mom meeting herself as *she* was born, or her memory of me when *I* was born. Either way, I'm getting that "lump in my throat" that starts *below* the throat, like from down in my heart somewhere.

All I can say is, my Father was/is an *excellent* planner (!) (as his preparations have made all this possible.)

[Richard Silk]

So the last week has been rather hectic (compared to most weeks past, for the past few years) as there has been a concerted effort to move Mom into a retirement community (her "Happy Home") *both* for *her* own good, as well as mine, as her overall affect has deteriorated beyond my ability to cope. That, and all the *excellent* plans my father had made before he died all sort of just *came to fruition* all at once: the accounts he'd had socked away (along with Mom's contributions, I'm sure) are all being diverted to her senior senior senior years (she just turned 94, and has been going downhill a bit faster every day. It's my *hope* that this new environment will *add some new life* to her experience-meter / will to live.)

Turns out, she *thinks* she moved into this house in February of '64. That means she's lived here for *SIXTY YEARS* as of this month! (I only have 2, maybe 3 memories of my time on Leaf Avenue *before* moving into this location.)

At any rate, this morning, I had a rather curious dream clip that involved something like a Q-tip (dipped in rubbing alcohol) and two ears that *looked* like little versions of me, but roughly "yea high" — so imagine something the size of a human ear. Now imagine it has feet, yet no real legs, just feet, and no arms, just hands, and the face of a person (boy? man? me?) in the place where the lobe of the ear is typically viewed.

The dreamer used a Q-tip (likely soaked in alcohol) to "pop off" / swab up the two ears / creatures, one at a time, and off they skittered. (Clarity: peculiar!)

I'm fairly certain there was another dream in there, but it's long since evaporated due to the arduous nature of the week, especially this morning / today.

I'm *beat!*