My Date With Eris

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nu-monet v4.0

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May 1, 2002, 9:54:32 PM5/1/02
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There are two kinds of discordians, the kind that
blather endlessly about it but are a mile wide and
an inch deep, never doing anything creatively
disruptive. The other kind are not that great in
expressing their inner chaos, but live by the axiom
"Ahhh! A banana! Quick, urinate on me!"

She was told I was a SubGenius. "Aha, he'll want to
fuck something then", she replied, "I'd better wash
my armpits." Our mutual friend told me that at their
last meeting, he had been injured *and* arrested,
though the charge was later dropped. He was still
somewhat in lust with her.

She decided to test me right off the bat. "Take me
to a (grocery store) and give me $10." Once there,
I saw what she was about, purchasing a large package
of frozen hamburger patties, so I made a quick and
discreet purchase which I hid from her.

When we returned to the parking lot, she opened the
package and began to systematically put patties under
car windshield wipers--watching discreetly to see if
I would object or become embarrassed. I did neither,
as my purchase, a plastic bottle of mustard, was
entirely appropriate to the situation. A dollop per
patty. "www.noketchuponmineplease.com", she said.

The rest of the evening was a blur, save that she
vigorously fellated my left thumb, stretched at arm's
length, and I was not permitted to watch. My offer
to shrimp her toes was turned down on the grounds that
one either knew how to lick webbing or one didn't, and
she wasn't going to teach me on the first date.

--
When a robot says, "I love you", don't
believe it--it's just lying to get sex.
--nu-monet

headkase

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May 15, 2002, 10:49:23 PM5/15/02
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this is a reply to your post to let you know i enjoyed that little tale...

Friday Jones

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May 16, 2002, 6:07:34 PM5/16/02
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In article <a2231dba.0205...@posting.google.com>,
head...@gay.com (headkase) wrote:

>this is a reply to your post to let you know i enjoyed that little tale...

It was a fine tail, although I myself would have slapped the Discordian's
buns with the burger meat.

---

"Elements of the movie seem not merely half-baked, but never to have seen
the inside of an oven."
- Roger Ebert on "No Such Thing"

Justine, Justine, the Button Queen

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May 29, 2002, 7:22:34 PM5/29/02
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That's a beautiful story. If only I could meet such a nice Discordian
male. I recommend that you tell that story incessantly to someone
else's children or grandchildren.

Shoe shoe shoe shoe,
JJtBQ

Jeff X. Mink

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May 30, 2002, 12:52:16 AM5/30/02
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"Justine, Justine, the Button Queen" <laralan...@hotmail.com> wrote in
message news:6daa0572.02052...@posting.google.com...

Yes, but when it comes down to it, we Discordian males are really just a
bunch of boring pricks looking for horny Discordian females. Except for the
gay ones, who are generally very interesting and nice, with no interest
whatsoever in Discordian females. It's just one more way for the goddess to
fuck us all over simultaneously.

--
Mentally Yours,
Jeff X. Mink
Scourge of the Galaxy
Emperor of the Universe
High Priest of the Church of Harmonic Chaos


Justine, Justine, the Button Queen

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May 30, 2002, 7:55:16 AM5/30/02
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> Yes, but when it comes down to it, we Discordian males are really just a
> bunch of boring pricks looking for horny Discordian females. Except for the
> gay ones, who are generally very interesting and nice, with no interest
> whatsoever in Discordian females. It's just one more way for the goddess to
> fuck us all over simultaneously.


Oh, well. Still, that's a description of most males, isn't it? That's
why all the smart cows make friends with all the gay males and then
enslave desperate heteros for leaning on/money/breeding purposes. Or,
become lesbians. So you see, many of us are aware of the situation,
and are making the necessary adjustments. Still, it does require
everything to be done in the most delicious backwards-way.

Look, David Hasselhoff can fly!
JJtBQ

Jeff X. Mink

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May 30, 2002, 11:22:37 AM5/30/02
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"Justine, Justine, the Button Queen" <laralan...@hotmail.com> wrote in
message news:6daa0572.02053...@posting.google.com...

Of course everything have to be done backwards. Otherwise, we'd have to
reject the conventional wisdom that men & women are completely different and
incapable of understanding each other, and realize the main reason people
don't understand each other is because they all think alike, and therefore
we'd have to accept that the same failures we see in others are also present
in ourselves (and vise versa). The whole situation is even further
complicated because people in general really are just different enough from
each other so that we can only understand each other by attempting to see
the world through another's viewpoint, which is not the same as thinking "If
I we're in your situation, what would I do?". What makes this all possible
is that most people are really bad judges of character, especially their
own.

Jason Christopher Romero

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May 30, 2002, 3:23:45 PM5/30/02
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But all of that has changed since 9/11 hasn't it...

GOD

In article <1trJ8.369$BC4...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>,

Justine, Justine, the Button Queen

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May 30, 2002, 5:23:09 PM5/30/02
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> Of course everything have to be done backwards. Otherwise, we'd have to
> reject the conventional wisdom that men & women are completely different and
> incapable of understanding each other, and realize the main reason people
> don't understand each other is because they all think alike, and therefore
> we'd have to accept that the same failures we see in others are also present
> in ourselves (and vise versa). The whole situation is even further
> complicated because people in general really are just different enough from
> each other so that we can only understand each other by attempting to see
> the world through another's viewpoint, which is not the same as thinking "If
> I were in your situation, what would I do?". What makes this all possible

> is that most people are really bad judges of character, especially their
> own.

Wow, I really have to applaud the veracity of your statement. Probably
the most insightful thing I've heard all day.

Jeff X. Mink

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May 31, 2002, 3:30:36 AM5/31/02
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"Justine, Justine, the Button Queen" <laralan...@hotmail.com> wrote in
message news:6daa0572.02053...@posting.google.com...

The trick is to deny anything that's conventional wisdom, because there's no
enlightenment in conventional wisdom, so eventually I stumble upon something
good. Which is really just a way of spinning the fact that I like to be
contrary.

I also like to be falsely humble, so don't be tricked by any of it.

spamseller fenderson

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Jun 2, 2002, 3:25:13 AM6/2/02
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Jeff X. Mink <jxm...@azlink.com> wrote in message
news:4eiJ8.439$Ky1...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net...

> Yes, but when it comes down to it, we Discordian males are really just a
> bunch of boring pricks looking for horny Discordian females. Except for
the
> gay ones, who are generally very interesting and nice, with no interest
> whatsoever in Discordian females. It's just one more way for the goddess
to
> fuck us all over simultaneously.
Yeah, maybe, but you forgot about us BI discordians. We know the pain of
both sides, and are twice to three times as horny as any of you. (Anybody
interested and will be in the four corners area soon please e-m me.) I am
interesting, nice, and able to last longer than the average televison
drama.)

--
Rev. Charles R. Walker Jr. , A.K.A.
Rev. Spamseller Fenderson, KSC(by theft)
Pope of discordia, lover of green things, high potentate of all things silly
and founder of the Kamikaze Brain Patrol-Transgressicuting prosecutors
since the Year of the Bloated Llama
---------
The eyes of the future became what to another man would be the eyes of God,
or perhaps to yet another man the eyes of his own conscience.--Kerry
Thornley, AKA Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, to the Warren commission.


headkase

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Jun 4, 2002, 9:14:57 PM6/4/02
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"spamseller fenderson" <c_wal...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:adch7...@enews1.newsguy.com...

> Jeff X. Mink <jxm...@azlink.com> wrote in message
> news:4eiJ8.439$Ky1...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
> > Yes, but when it comes down to it, we Discordian males are really just a
> > bunch of boring pricks looking for horny Discordian females. Except for
> the
> > gay ones, who are generally very interesting and nice, with no interest
> > whatsoever in Discordian females. It's just one more way for the
goddess
> to
> > fuck us all over simultaneously.
> Yeah, maybe, but you forgot about us BI discordians. We know the pain of
> both sides, and are twice to three times as horny as any of you. (Anybody
> interested and will be in the four corners area soon please e-m me.) I am
> interesting, nice, and able to last longer than the average televison
> drama.)

please do not forget to add to this list of possible discordians with sexual
obsessions
the sacrificial virgin s&m lesbians.

headkase


Jeff X. Mink

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Jun 4, 2002, 11:50:16 PM6/4/02
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"headkase" <vero...@smartchat.com.au> wrote in message
news:adjntf$6hb$1...@gnamma.connect.com.au...

Yeah, well, I could have gone into all of those cases, but that was MY post,
and therefore was created with MY worldview in mind, and I'd really
appreciate it if you people would stop oppressing me by trying to impose
your belief systems on me. Damn oppressive liberals always telling
everybody to accept other points of view.

headkase

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Jun 5, 2002, 12:58:16 AM6/5/02
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"Jeff X. Mink" <jxm...@azlink.com> wrote in message
news:YTfL8.1800$C91....@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net...

i think you should subscribe to a different world view and see if it changes
your reality.


headkase

Jeff X. Mink

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Jun 5, 2002, 1:23:43 AM6/5/02
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"headkase" <vero...@smartchat.com.au> wrote in message
news:adk509$f9h$1...@gnamma.connect.com.au...

See? This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Imposing open-mindedness and
tolerance on the rest of the world, like a typical fascist.

Besides, the cheapest world view subscription I could find was US$3.00/month
with a six-month minimum contract, and even though I can easily afford it,
the problem with reality is that it stubbornly remains the same regardless
of how we choose to perceive it, so I don't think it's worth the money.

headkase

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Jun 5, 2002, 2:57:09 AM6/5/02
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"Jeff X. Mink" <jxm...@azlink.com> wrote in message
news:zfhL8.12$_N2...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net...


it's not reality that's the problem
its the perception.

head * save me from the hippy new age platitudes, this is a cry for help *
kase

Nicest of the Damned

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Jun 9, 2002, 1:31:30 PM6/9/02
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In article <5%uJ8.53$r4.1...@news.uchicago.edu>, JCR wrote:
< But all of that has changed since 9/11 hasn't it...

if the Discordian females don't come, then the terrorists will have won.

-Dru'el the Chaotic (etcetc)

--
j...@sidehack.gweep.net Programmer / Sysadmin / Gweep
mpy...@gnu.org -><- Author of Xtacy, an X11 Graphics Hack
jer_j...@real.life.edu http://www.gweep.net/~jer/index.html
ICQ#: 19599864 AIM: DruelChaos MSN: Nope

NightMist

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Jun 10, 2002, 11:32:19 AM6/10/02
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On Sun, 9 Jun 2002 17:31:30 +0000 (UTC), Nicest of the Damned
<j...@sidehack.sat.gweep.net> wrote:

>In article <5%uJ8.53$r4.1...@news.uchicago.edu>, JCR wrote:
>< But all of that has changed since 9/11 hasn't it...
>
>if the Discordian females don't come, then the terrorists will have won.
>

Then shall we say it is a Holy Duty to make at least one Discordian
female cum every day?

Wotthehell, I'll even spring for 2 a day.

NightMist
Now a Holy Warrior With A Mission

--

everybody is somebodys chew toy

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