[Fwd: Post-impressionist programming (humor)]

[Lord [INSERT NAME HERE]]

From alt.discordia

Landru wrote:
>
> Translated from the Memoirs of
> Jean Turing-VonNeuman
> A minor 19th century post-impressionist programmer
>
> I will never forget that Spring, that day. Paris had
> an air of revolution. The week before an exhibition of
> Seurat's listings had caused a sensation. In his
> unrelenting quest for simplicity he had reduced all of
> programming to three machine instructions. The
> resulting 6,000 line bubble sort had shocked the
> critics.
>
> My own recent efforts had been received poorly. I had
> cut and slashed through my programs, juxtaposing
> blocks of code in a way that exposed the underlying
> intensity of the algorithm without regard to
> convention or syntax.
>
> "But it doesn't compile," they complained.
>
> As if programming was about adhering to their
> primitive language definitions. As if it was my duty
> to live within the limits of their antiquated and
> ordinary compilers.
>
> So it was that I came that day to La Boite Bleue,
> seeking solace and companionship.
>
> La Boite Bleue was where we gathered in those days.
> The wine there was cheap, the tables were large and
> they kept a complete set of language manuals behind
> the bar.
>
> As I entered I heard Henri's measured accents above
> the din.
>
> "{ellipsis}that complexity is not the salient
> characteristic of exemplary style."
>
> Toulouse-Lautrec was seated at a table spread with
> greenbar. Manet, redfaced, loomed over him.
>
> "Damm your recursion, Henri. Iteration, however
> complex, is always more efficient."
>
> Manet stormed away from the table in the direction of
> the bar. He always seemed angry at that time. Partly
> because his refusal to write in anything but FORTRAN
> isolated him from the rest of the Avant-Guarde, partly
> because people kept confusing him with Monet.
>
> Henri motioned to me to join him at the table.
>
> "Have you heard from Vincent recently?"
>
> We were all concerned about Van Gogh. Only a few days
> before he had completed an order in sorting routine
> that required no additional memory.
>
> Unfortunately, because he had written it in C and
> refused, on principle, to comment his code, no one had
> understood a line of it. He had not taken it well.
>
> "No. Why?", I replied.
>
> "He and Gaugin had a violent argument last night over
> whether a side effect should be considered output and
> he hasn't been seen since. I fear he may have done
> something ... rash."
>
> We were suddenly interrupted by the waitress's
> terrified scream. I turned in time to see something
> fall from the open envelope she held in her hand.
> Stooping to retrieve it, I was seized by a wave of
> revulsion as I recognized that the object in my hand,
> bestially torn from its accustomed place, was the
> mouse from Van Gogh's workstation. The waitress, who
> had fainted, lay in an unnoticed heap beside me.
>
> By the evening, the incident had become the talk of
> Paris.
>
> ---
> Joe Zeff
> The Guy With the Sideburns
> If you can't play with words, what good are they?
> http://home.earthlink.net/~sidebrnz

--
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(Rediddled by Sara Wallen)

Title Count: 89
Quote Count: 20
Size of Signature: 6.25KB
Last Altered: 8th Jun 00

Hari Krishna Fnord Tally: III

Confucius say: "Man who get confused between free beer and free software
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This has been an emergent property of the System. Goodnight.

[Lord [INSERT NAME HERE]]

"Lord [INSERT NAME HERE]" wrote:
>
> From alt.discordia

By which, of course, alt.geek. I definitely didn't make a mistake. I was
just being post-modern. Honest.

[little toad]

Lord [INSERT NAME HERE] wrote in message
: From alt.discordia
[...]
: > ---

: > Joe Zeff
: > The Guy With the Sideburns
: > If you can't play with words, what good are they?
: > http://home.earthlink.net/~sidebrnz

this dude posts to ssbb.

little toad

[little toad]

Lord [INSERT NAME HERE] wrote in message

: "Lord [INSERT NAME HERE]" wrote:
: >
: > From alt.discordia
:
: By which, of course, alt.geek. I definitely didn't make a mistake. I was
: just being post-modern. Honest.

i believe you! :-)

little toad