More bored stuff
Paul Presley
roll a joint and start watching Sesame Street at about six in the morning,
the red fuzzball known as Elmo suddenly becomes the greatest thing that's
ever appeared on television.
(You were warned in the subject heading.)
----
Prezzer
Glyndwr
news:8kjlsa$7vp$1...@lure.pipex.net...
I think I'm starting to understand CCB's career choice.
--
-=R=-
Charing Cross Branch
<glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> wrote:
>> Now here's a thing. If you haven't slept for at least thirty-two hours,
>then
>> roll a joint and start watching Sesame Street at about six in the morning,
>> the red fuzzball known as Elmo suddenly becomes the greatest thing that's
>> ever appeared on television.
>>
>> (You were warned in the subject heading.)
>
>I think I'm starting to understand CCB's career choice.
I don't understand why you said that...
Glyndwr
news:ELdtOZMfyNNKj8...@4ax.com...
I was being cryptic and shit. Prezzer = journalist = life of Riley, judging
by post. You = future journalist. Yes?
--
-=R=-
James Lyon
Glyndwr wrote:
I agree.
James Gregory
Glyndwr <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> wrote in message
news:nUib5.309$ma3....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> > >I think I'm starting to understand CCB's career choice.
> >
> > I don't understand why you said that...
>
> I was being cryptic and shit.
I like people being cryptic.
It's agreat feeling when you understand someone who is being cryptic and go
"Hey, I understand that. I am grate".
Even if understanding cryptic people does not equal grateness, it still
feels that way for a few seconds.
James
slyDog
> the red fuzzball known as Elmo suddenly becomes the greatest thing that's
> ever appeared on television.
Strange you should say that, as I have an overwhelming urge to hurt that
cute little critter with the insane laugh !!!!!!!!
Charing Cross Branch
<glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> wrote:
>> >I think I'm starting to understand CCB's career choice.
>>
>> I don't understand why you said that...
>
>I was being cryptic and shit. Prezzer = journalist = life of Riley, judging
>by post. You = future journalist. Yes?
Yes.
Glyndwr
Hmm. Looks like I may have to make the jump into IT journalism, then I can
work for The Register. Did I mention I had something published in Internet
Works this month?
--
-=G=-
MS has commited an illegal antitrust operation and must be terminated.
(Thanks CCB)
Web: http://www.fscked.co.uk ICQ: 66545073
Tom Camfield
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>"Charing Cross Branch" <sta...@a.blank.screen.com> wrote in message
>news:+fxtOYUnTLLgWf...@4ax.com...
>> On Thu, 13 Jul 2000 13:49:17 +0100, "Glyndwr"
>> <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>> >> >I think I'm starting to understand CCB's career choice.
>> >>
>> >> I don't understand why you said that...
>> >
>> >I was being cryptic and shit. Prezzer = journalist = life of Riley,
>judging
>> >by post. You = future journalist. Yes?
>>
>> Yes.
>
>Hmm. Looks like I may have to make the jump into IT journalism, then I can
>work for The Register. Did I mention I had something published in Internet
>Works this month?
And what would that be?
Tom Camfield
ICQ 6853 6241
http://www.thedisseminator.cx/
Glyndwr
news:b06smscfs3chu0jk7...@4ax.com...
The mag? A nationally-distributed magazine aimed at 'net professionals -
e-commerce, buzzwords, that kind of thing. A bit too stylish for my liking
but hey, it's exposure. ABC circulation of 30,000.
The thing? A review of Chilisoft ASP for Linux, which lets you do VBScript
or JScript ASP on Apache. I gave it 85%.
James Lyon
Paul Presley wrote:
> Now here's a thing. If you haven't slept for at least thirty-two hours, then
> roll a joint and start watching Sesame Street at about six in the morning,
> the red fuzzball known as Elmo suddenly becomes the greatest thing that's
> ever appeared on television.
>
Look for the title 'Elmo gets jacked' in Napster. Moderately amusing the first
time.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>>> You = future journalist. Yes?
>>
>> Yes.
>
>Hmm. Looks like I may have to make the jump into IT journalism, then I can
>work for The Register. Did I mention I had something published in Internet
>Works this month?
No, you didn't.
I've been too busy on the phone lately, firstly to work (who have told
me twice now 'leave the weekend free, we should have work), then to
Cardiff Uni (demanding to know what my marks are. I had to leave a
message, and today I found out 'they're being sent out tomorrow'.
About fucking time), and finally to my stupid landlord about where the
keys to my flat are. Arrrgh.
James Lyon
Charing Cross Branch wrote:
> On Thu, 13 Jul 2000 13:49:17 +0100, "Glyndwr"
> <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >> >I think I'm starting to understand CCB's career choice.
> >>
> >> I don't understand why you said that...
> >
> >I was being cryptic and shit. Prezzer = journalist = life of Riley, judging
> >by post. You = future journalist. Yes?
>
> Yes.
So, are you planning on going into games journalism, then?
Charing Cross Branch
<james...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>> >I was being cryptic and shit. Prezzer = journalist = life of Riley, judging
>> >by post. You = future journalist. Yes?
>>
>> Yes.
>
>So, are you planning on going into games journalism, then?
That's right.
James Lyon
Charing Cross Branch wrote:
Good on you. Follow your dreams, man. And if that fails, get a job as an animator
at the tentacle pr0n factory.
Shaun Lucas
first
> time.
Donald Duck Blowjob too.
Shaun.
Glyndwr
> >>
> >> Yes.
> >
can
> >work for The Register. Did I mention I had something published in
Internet
> >Works this month?
>
> No, you didn't.
>
> I've been too busy on the phone lately, firstly to work (who have told
> me twice now 'leave the weekend free, we should have work), then to
> Cardiff Uni (demanding to know what my marks are. I had to leave a
> message, and today I found out 'they're being sent out tomorrow'.
> About fucking time), and finally to my stupid landlord about where the
> keys to my flat are. Arrrgh.
I've just realised I haven't had my marks yet either. As you're probably
aware, they changed it this year so all the marks come from the Academic
Registry instead of the departments. AReg = cunts.
Glyndwr
> On Thu, 13 Jul 2000 22:49:53 GMT, James Lyon
> <james...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >> >I was being cryptic and shit. Prezzer = journalist = life of Riley,
judging
> >>
> >> Yes.
> >
> >So, are you planning on going into games journalism, then?
>
> That's right.
What's the typical pay like?
Herman WANK in Perfect WANK ("This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10" - GameZine)
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> writes
>I've just realised I haven't had my marks yet either. As you're probably
>aware, they changed it this year so all the marks come from the Academic
>Registry instead of the departments. AReg = cunts.
I passed Physics first year, so I was told by letter today.
The letter amused me, it was in the style: "The following students have
passed MPhys Physics year one, and will be allowed into Year 2:"
Which I suppose means it was sent to all MPhys Physics students,
especially the ones that failed. It reminded me of that (very) old
episode of the Simpsons where Sideshow Bob calls out the names of
everyone who he isn't going to kill.
Oh MY.
--
Herman WANK in Perfect WANK ("This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10" - GameZine)
Glyndwr
news:moH5PvAF...@ntlworld.com...
> In article <J5zb5.50$4v6....@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Glyndwr
> <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> writes
> >I've just realised I haven't had my marks yet either. As you're probably
> >aware, they changed it this year so all the marks come from the Academic
> >Registry instead of the departments. AReg = cunts.
>
> I passed Physics first year, so I was told by letter today.
Are you another Cardiff boy? Does this mean my results probably came just
after I left the house? Cuss.
> The letter amused me, it was in the style: "The following students have
> passed MPhys Physics year one, and will be allowed into Year 2:"
>
> Which I suppose means it was sent to all MPhys Physics students,
> especially the ones that failed. It reminded me of that (very) old
> episode of the Simpsons where Sideshow Bob calls out the names of
> everyone who he isn't going to kill.
Mohh. Also:
"We would like to announce the following redundancies, which will be
announced in alphabetical order of surname. Simpson, Homer. That is all."
Irrelevant, but funny.
--
-=R=-
Herman WANK in Perfect WANK ("This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10" - GameZine)
<glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
>
>Are you another Cardiff boy? Does this mean my results probably came just
>after I left the house? Cuss.
No. I am a UMIST hum0n and a member of the rapidly-dwindling
alt.digitiser manchest0r posse. Allegedly.
Ph33r the church.
--
Glyndwr
> In article <LhBb5.128$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Glyndwr
> <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
> >
> >Are you another Cardiff boy? Does this mean my results probably came just
> >after I left the house? Cuss.
>
> No. I am a UMIST hum0n and a member of the rapidly-dwindling
> alt.digitiser manchest0r posse. Allegedly.
That's because you are in-ph33r-ee-or (DYS?) to the C4rdiff posse! Bow
before my might, and that of CCB, and, er, some other people. Shit.
> Ph33r the church.
I went in a pub in Nottingham once that was a converted church. It was quite
nice, but so trendy it made my skin itch. And it was hideously expensive,
too. Oh, and the libarary in my old Oxford college was a converted 9th
century church, complete with graveyard. Which is nice.
--
-=R=-
Herman WANK in Perfect WANK ("This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10" - GameZine)
<glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
>That's because you are in-ph33r-ee-or (DYS?) to the C4rdiff posse! Bow
>before my might, and that of CCB, and, er, some other people. Shit.
You have no pr0t ppl in your posse. You will never be superior.
--
Glyndwr
> In article <nyBb5.141$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Glyndwr
> <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
> >That's because you are in-ph33r-ee-or (DYS?) to the C4rdiff posse! Bow
> >before my might, and that of CCB, and, er, some other people. Shit.
>
> You have no pr0t ppl in your posse. You will never be superior.
Kidnapping.
--
-=R=-
Herman WANK in Perfect WANK ("This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10" - GameZine)
<glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
>Kidnapping.
What on earth possessed you to give your computers names?
--
Glyndwr
> In article <brDb5.241$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Glyndwr
> <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
> >Kidnapping.
>
> What on earth possessed you to give your computers names?
I take it your talking about my homepage?
Simply, because Windows and Linux networking demands a unique name for each
computer. 'Glyndwr' suggested itself because I was already using it online.
'Branwen' is a female character from the Mabinogian (sp?); further, there
was a cafe in Aberystwyth called Branwen's, and my girlfriend went to Aber,
and it's my girlfriend's machine (mostly).
--
-=R=-
David Deans
> Now here's a thing. If you haven't slept for at least thirty-two hours, then
> roll a joint and start watching Sesame Street at about six in the morning,
> the red fuzzball known as Elmo suddenly becomes the greatest thing that's
> ever appeared on television.
Mohhhhh.
The "Egg has the munchies" scence from This Life repeat last night 3:16
This Life Repeats And No New Series 382:28921038
--
http://fearsatan.cjb.net http://faq.fearsatan.cjb.net
http://www.coldplay.org
Herman WANK in Perfect WANK ("This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10" - GameZine)
<glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
>> What on earth possessed you to give your computers names?
>
>I take it your talking about my homepage?
Hello my future girlfriend, this is what I sound like.
--
Glyndwr
> In article <iEDb5.252$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Glyndwr
> <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
> >> What on earth possessed you to give your computers names?
> >
> >I take it your talking about my homepage?
>
> Hello my future girlfriend, this is what I sound like.
OK, I've been out-surrealed. What are you on about?
--
-=R=-
Herman WANK in Perfect WANK ("This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10" - GameZine)
<glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
>> Hello my future girlfriend, this is what I sound like.
>
>OK, I've been out-surrealed. What are you on about?
http://web.triton.net/clandj/girlfriend/
And various others.
--
James Gregory
Glyndwr <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> wrote in message
news:iEDb5.252$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> Herman WANK in Perfect WANK ("This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10" -
> > In article <brDb5.241$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Glyndwr
> > <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
> > >Kidnapping.
> >
>
> I take it your talking about my homepage?
>
each
> computer. 'Glyndwr' suggested itself because I was already using it
online.
> 'Branwen' is a female character from the Mabinogian (sp?); further, there
> was a cafe in Aberystwyth called Branwen's, and my girlfriend went to
Aber,
> and it's my girlfriend's machine (mostly).
Incidently, the two computers on our home work used to be "Fred 486" and
"Percy Pentium", but "Fred 486" has now been taken away, and was replaced by
"George Gateway".
James
James Gregory
James Gregory <james....@nospam.btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:8knik5$2tnlc$1...@ID-34718.news.cis.dfn.de...
>
> > > What on earth possessed you to give your computers names?
> >
> > I take it your talking about my homepage?
> >
> > Simply, because Windows and Linux networking demands a unique name for
> each
> > computer. 'Glyndwr' suggested itself because I was already using it
> online.
> > 'Branwen' is a female character from the Mabinogian (sp?); further,
there
> > was a cafe in Aberystwyth called Branwen's, and my girlfriend went to
> Aber,
> > and it's my girlfriend's machine (mostly).
>
> Incidently, the two computers on our home work used to be "Fred 486" and
> "Percy Pentium", but "Fred 486" has now been taken away, and was replaced
by
> "George Gateway".
If forgot to add: alliteration 3:16.
I hope that is all, for now.
James
Glyndwr
Well, duh.
> I hope that is all, for now.
I think we can all join in that sentiment.
Charing Cross Branch
(\"This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10\" - GameZine)"
>What on earth possessed you to give your computers names?
Mine have names too, so I can tell them apart when I link them.
They're 'Rosie' and 'Carrie'.
Charing Cross Branch
<james...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>
>
>Charing Cross Branch wrote:
>
>> On Thu, 13 Jul 2000 22:49:53 GMT, James Lyon
>> <james...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>> >> >I was being cryptic and shit. Prezzer = journalist = life of Riley, judging
>> >> >by post. You = future journalist. Yes?
>> >>
>> >> Yes.
>> >
>> >So, are you planning on going into games journalism, then?
>>
>> That's right.
>
>Good on you. Follow your dreams, man. And if that fails, get a job as an animator
>at the tentacle pr0n factory.
Gee, I was hoping for a better pat on the back than that! And my mad
anime-skillz are not up to the standard of accurately portraying
female bits being tentacle'd.
And, in a more unpleasant note. I watched more of the pr0n. The thing
rapes them and when they come it jabs the tentacle in so deep it comes
out their mouth, and they die. Lovely.
Charing Cross Branch
<glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> wrote:
>> No. I am a UMIST hum0n and a member of the rapidly-dwindling
>> alt.digitiser manchest0r posse. Allegedly.
>
>That's because you are in-ph33r-ee-or (DYS?) to the C4rdiff posse! Bow
>before my might, and that of CCB, and, er, some other people. Shit.
Well, I may have to go to Cardiff for a day to get my flat keys,
thanks to this postal strike.
Glyndwr
There's been unofficial strikes in Cardiff for weeks now, apparantly. This
might explain why I get no post for days, then loads and loads all at once.
I thought the whole point of a strike was to cause publicity, mind, but then
post office = shitness élite.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> Well, I may have to go to Cardiff for a day to get my flat keys,
>> thanks to this postal strike.
>
>There's been unofficial strikes in Cardiff for weeks now, apparantly. This
>might explain why I get no post for days, then loads and loads all at once.
>I thought the whole point of a strike was to cause publicity, mind, but then
>post office = shitness élite.
I've realized this strike might delay my copy of HARD TRUCK 2!!! Oh
no!
We should go out and get drunk, man.
Glyndwr
Eh? Aren't you in London? Or did you order it from a shop in Cardiff?
> We should go out and get drunk, man.
Yes. Actually, this is a solution to lots of life's problems.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> I've realized this strike might delay my copy of HARD TRUCK 2!!! Oh
>> no!
>
>Eh? Aren't you in London? Or did you order it from a shop in Cardiff?
No, I ordered it from its US distributor.
>> We should go out and get drunk, man.
>
>Yes. Actually, this is a solution to lots of life's problems.
No, I meant WE. If I have to come get my keys, this is a possiblity, I
mean.
Glyndwr
> On Fri, 14 Jul 2000 19:44:09 +0100, "Glyndwr"
> <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >> I've realized this strike might delay my copy of HARD TRUCK 2!!! Oh
> >> no!
> >
> >Eh? Aren't you in London? Or did you order it from a shop in Cardiff?
>
> No, I ordered it from its US distributor.
That's what I thought. But you live in London. So why would mail strikes in
Cardiff bother you?
Ah, wait. I bet your credit card that you used to order it is registered at
your Cardiff house, or summat, is it?
> >> We should go out and get drunk, man.
> >
> >Yes. Actually, this is a solution to lots of life's problems.
>
> No, I meant WE. If I have to come get my keys, this is a possiblity, I
> mean.
Yeah, I realised that. Me writing posts whilst tied = unclear posts. Yes,
this would be good.
Glyndwr
news:xiLb5.798$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> Yeah, I realised that. Me writing posts whilst tied = unclear posts. Yes,
> this would be good.
Clearly, I meant "tired" and not "tied" and am not confessing to
bondage-me-dos.
Yes, I replied to my own post. Their are worst atrocities.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> No, I ordered it from its US distributor.
>
>That's what I thought. But you live in London. So why would mail strikes in
>Cardiff bother you?
Because they're here too.
>Ah, wait. I bet your credit card that you used to order it is registered at
>your Cardiff house, or summat, is it?
Nope.
>> No, I meant WE. If I have to come get my keys, this is a possiblity, I
>> mean.
>
>Yeah, I realised that. Me writing posts whilst tied = unclear posts. Yes,
>this would be good.
Tied? Oh, tired. I thought perhaps your bird was into bondageism.
Glyndwr
> On Fri, 14 Jul 2000 22:06:23 +0100, "Glyndwr"
> <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >> No, I ordered it from its US distributor.
> >
> >That's what I thought. But you live in London. So why would mail strikes
in
> >Cardiff bother you?
>
> Because they're here too.
Ah. Now I see. Apparantly, though, the mail strikes around here have been
going on for weeks and weeks, and are a local dispute. Certainly, the post
around here has been rubbish for ages.
> >Ah, wait. I bet your credit card that you used to order it is registered
at
> >your Cardiff house, or summat, is it?
>
> Nope.
I see now.
> >> No, I meant WE. If I have to come get my keys, this is a possiblity, I
> >> mean.
> >
> >Yeah, I realised that. Me writing posts whilst tied = unclear posts. Yes,
> >this would be good.
>
> Tied? Oh, tired. I thought perhaps your bird was into bondageism.
That's another story.
Kenny Hutchings
GameZine) <MR...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> In article <LhBb5.128$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Glyndwr
> <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
> >
> >Are you another Cardiff boy? Does this mean my results probably came just
> >after I left the house? Cuss.
>
> No. I am a UMIST hum0n and a member of the rapidly-dwindling
> alt.digitiser manchest0r posse. Allegedly.
>
Yes. Now imagine we are at the end of a film documenting the lives of
the a.d Manchest0r posse, and this is what it would say:-
<Picture of PSB>
Mark Williamson went on to become a l33t Physics hum0n in Manchester,
and successfully managed to wipe out all cities North of pr0t with his
new uber-l33t nuclear device. He currently works in secret for the US
government, and was last reported being seen stood in the background a
press meeting for the CIA, holding three Domino's Pizza boxes, only one
of which was reputed to contain a pizza.
<Picture of Dennett>
Stuart Dennett graduated from university as a super-successful Computer
Science student and created his own personal computer company. In the
following year, he managed to liquidate IBM, Dell and Microsoft and thus
the face of computing was changed forever. Also, several Computer
Science students worldwide suddenly realised they weren't guaranteed
easy jobs for doing an easy degree, and then quickly noticed that
actually they didn't know a fucking thing useful about computers. They
all had to return to university and study hard on a subject that is
actually worthwhile. Stuart Dennett refused to employ any of these
people and publicly condemned them all.
<Picture of Chamberlain>
Mike Chamberlain never returned to alt.digitiser and quit university
halfway through his second year. He then married Martha Lane-Fox and
they then retired to a remote island in the Bahamas for tax purposes,
while they ran the whole internet as their own commercial venture. They
proceeded to buy up every possible URL in existence and redirected them
all to www.chamberlane-fox.com. A few years further on, ChamberLane-Fox
corp merged with Dennett Computing, and the existence of any other
business anywhere in the universe was outlawed.
<Picture of Hutchings>
Kenny Hutchings disappeared shortly after graduating. He recently
re-appeared in court after successfully suing his local newspaper for
printing his A-level results for the whole of Dorset to see without his
permission when he was eighteen years old. He refused to comment when
questioned about his whereabouts.
<Fade to black>
K.
Kenny Hutchings
GameZine) <MR...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> In article <4SGb5.404$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Glyndwr
> <glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
> >> Hello my future girlfriend, this is what I sound like.
> >
> >OK, I've been out-surrealed. What are you on about?
>
> http://web.triton.net/clandj/girlfriend/
>
> And various others.
MOHH. Excellent.
I DEMAND Mooney does a LucyUK on this hum0n. NOW.
K.
Charing Cross Branch
Hutchings) wrote:
>Yes. Now imagine we are at the end of a film documenting the lives of
>the a.d Manchest0r posse, and this is what it would say:-
Or a C4rd1ff posse one...
<picture of Glyndwr>
Following his graduation, Glyndwr and his bird moved to a remote cave
in the Merionethshire hills to plot their world domination using two
supercomputers of Glyndwr's own design, codenamed 'Annie' and
'Clarabell'. Unfortunately, a band of roving thieves, common to Wales,
forced the lock on the cave's front window, and made off with the two
computers, his stereo, his Playstation, and his bird. The following
day, a jolly Heddlu officer took down his details, before calming
assuring him that his posessions would not be found. Heartbroken,
Glyndwr wandered north and now grows leeks, sheep and coal in
Anglesey.
<picture of CCB>
As soon as he received his diploma, Branch immediately dashed to
Heathrow where he was on a flight back to Canada and away from 'that
fucking place'. Upon returning, he was amused to discover that nothing
had changed since his departure and settled down for a comfortable
life writing insulting articles, playing games involving buses and
trucks, and watching hockey with tomboyish girls. Unfortunately, one
winter his Camaro hit a patch of black ice and he slid uncontrollably
into a dount shop. Forced to eat his way out of a pile of Maple
Creams, his DNA was irrecoverably altered and the next day he joined
the Metro Police. He was killed in action when he opened fire on a
gang of toughs who his partner claims had 'cussed them up'.
James Gregory
I will mark this unread, and if I am feeling imaginative at some point in
the near future will make an attempt at doing one of these for some other
regulars.
James
James Lyon
Charing Cross Branch wrote:
Maybe a job as a scriptwriter would be more to your taste.
INT Aquarium
Mikiko: Oh, Yumi, look at all those wonderful fishes.
Yumi: I want to see the octopuses.
Mikiko: It's octopii. But you sound so cute when you say it that way.
[Yumi blushes]
Yumi: Mikiko. Oh, it's getting hot in here.
Tannoy: Five minutes everyone. Please proceed to the exit.
[Everybody leaves but them. Meanwhile outside...]
EXT Aquarium
Dr Wisham: If those evil government agents get their hands on my alien hormone
enhancing formula to breed a race of super humans the world won't be safe from their
power. I need to hide.
Evil agent: Stop right there!
Dr Wisham: No! I must hide this.
[The Doctor throws his vial into the air vent of the aquarium but a rogue shot by the
evil agent shatters the glass as it enters. The Doctor is shot too.]
Dr Wisham: You fool. Tell my wife I love her...ack...
INT Aquarium
[The vial lands into the octopus tank. It begins to bubble. Meanwhile, Yumi and Mikiko
are removing each other's shirts.]
Mikiko: Oh, you make me so hot Yumi.
Yumi: But..we musn't go further.
Mikiko: Look into your heart. Do what you believe.
[And then they get naked and a load of big tentacles come in and sexx0r them.]
Evil agent: Lucky I brought this camera to record all the footage.
Tentacle: Soon a whole race of tentacle sex beasts will overrun the earth so we breed
with your beautiful human women.
Evil agent: Ah well, what are you gonna do?
Tentacle: But we'll take them out on dates and read them poems first.
Evil agent: Then what was that all about?
Mikiko: Don't worry. I've been having sex with this octopus for months.
Evil agent: Riiiiiggghhttt. I'll just be off then.
Yumi: Nice guy. Now let's get it back on.
Mikiko & Tentacle: And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I
love you!
Sorry, got a bit carried away there.
David Bulmer
>In article <iEDb5.252$Ew5....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com>, Glyndwr
><glynF...@FSCKdeleteEmeD.co.uk> writes
>>
>
MOHHH
"This is what I _souuuuund_ like".
An eleven year old trying to sound sexy. MOHH. OHMLOMOHLMOHLOMUHUHUHO.
--
David Bulmer
The Sonic Ideal - It ain't over 'till the fat man screams
www.encarnacion.simplenet.com/sonicideal
AND IT HAD BETTER BLOODY WELL NOT BE HAGRID.
David Bulmer
<sta...@a.blank.screen.com> writes
>>What on earth possessed you to give your computers names?
>
>They're 'Rosie' and 'Carrie'.
Ours are called:
Upstairs PC: Deep Thought
Downstairs PC: Shallow Thought
Laptop: Thought
Herman WANK in Perfect WANK ("This game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10" - GameZine)
<da...@bulmers.demon.co.uk> writes
>Upstairs PC: Deep Thought
>
>Downstairs PC: Shallow Thought
>
>Laptop: Thought
"Throat"
--
Sarah's Dead
<mrEJ$LAJMu...@ntlworld.com> from "Herman WANK in Perfect WANK (\"This
game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10\" - GameZine)" <MR...@hotmail.com> who
sent his PILE OF SHIT on Fri, 14 Jul 2000 10:53:13 +0100.
I will reply with GREAT VENGENCE AND FURIOUS ANGER
> >Are you another Cardiff boy? Does this mean my results probably came just
> >after I left the house? Cuss.
>
> No. I am a UMIST hum0n and a member of the rapidly-dwindling
> alt.digitiser manchest0r posse. Allegedly.
Well, UNI seems to be over and Chamberlain has fucked off wanking over a
dotcom company, somewhere. He must be worth millions!*
--
http://fearsatan.cjb.net http://faq.fearsatan.cjb.net
http://www.coldplay.org
* I watched the E-millionarre show the other day. Some really good ideas,
but not one of them seems geared to make money. One bloke wanted to
charge people to look at some funny lights for an evening, you can do
that watching weird dance programmes on MTV ffs.
"We're gonna be worth millions!"
"How are you planning on making money?"
"YOYOYOMOTHERFUCKER, WANNA A HO?"
Sarah's Dead
> >> What on earth possessed you to give your computers names?
> >
> >I take it your talking about my homepage?
>
> Hello my future girlfriend, this is what I sound like.
I wish Hayn wouldn't make *.wav files.
Charing Cross Branch
<fearSPAMsatan@bluSPAMeyo-------====*&£*(&"(£&(*&"*(&"£*====REEEEEMOOOOVEEEEE======*&£&"*&"&*("&*"&"&(£===----------nder.co.uk>
wrote:
>> No. I am a UMIST hum0n and a member of the rapidly-dwindling
>> alt.digitiser manchest0r posse. Allegedly.
>
>Well, UNI seems to be over and Chamberlain has fucked off wanking over a
>dotcom company, somewhere. He must be worth millions!*
What about the 'make shopping for food online BETTER by way of a
special box that is triggered to release the smell of BACON when you
look at BACON!' box? No doubt several people will attempt to consume
the box, and several others will be ravaged by aminals after they
can't stop the meat-smell being emitted.
Charing Cross Branch
<james...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>> And, in a more unpleasant note. I watched more of the pr0n. The thing
>> rapes them and when they come it jabs the tentacle in so deep it comes
>> out their mouth, and they die. Lovely.
>
>Maybe a job as a scriptwriter would be more to your taste.
>
>Sorry, got a bit carried away there.
That is seriously excellent, man. Although it doesn't quite match with
the actual video where a giant vagina appears on the side of the
school, half the students are being tentacle raped, and the teacher
runs up and says 'sorry, there's a problem, the school is closed
today'.
My script would be more like:
INT School Locker Room:
Shinobu: (grabs Yutaka's breasts) Ohh, they're so ripe and juicy!
Yutaka spins around and grabs Shinobu's breasts.
Yutaka: And what about yours!
A teacher enters the room.
Teacher: Now girls, no horseplay in the locker room!
Shinobu and Yutaka: Yes, Miss Hirose.
Miss Hirose: Don't forget to bring your picnic lunches!
She leaves.
Shinobu: She's so beautiful!
Yutaka: Yes. I could go for her, myself!
EXT woods around the school. A beautiful sunny day. Shinobu and Yutaka
are sitting on their blanket eating lunch.
Shinobu: Pass me a napkin!
She leans over Yutaka, and her breasts brush her face.
Yutaka: Hey! Be careful!
Shinobu: (laughing) Sorry!
Yutaka: Jerk!
(tinkly music plays as the camera moves around the lovely trees with
sunlight shining through the branches)
Yutaka: Boy, it's hot.
Shinobu: I agree. It is hot. I want more rice!
She leans over Yutaka, who pushes the basket away from her grasp.
Shinobu falls across Yutaka's lap. Her dress flops up, revealing her
obligatory pink panties with a little bow at the top. Yutaka stares at
the panties.
Shinobu: Ow!
Yutaka touches Shinobu's panties.
Shinobu: Oooooh!
Yutaka: Shinobu, do you want me?
Shinobu: ?
Yutaka: I've felt your eyes upon my body often enough. You wish to
take pleasure from me!
Shinobu: Uh, Yutaka...
Yutaka just smiles lustily back. They begin kissing and rubbing each
other.
The camera moves over to show some tentacles creeping along the forest
floor. They seem to peer around the bushes at the two girls, who stand
up.
INT Storage room. Very dark.
The door opens, and Shinobu and Yutaka enter, looking very flustered.
Shinobu: In here!
Yutaka closes the door. They strip their clothes off and go at it,
lesbian style.
Afterglow... they're lying together, spent.
Yutaka: Ohhh, Shinobu...
Shinobu: (starts rubbing Yutaka's crotch) I want more!
A tentacle wraps around Yutaka's crotch.
Yutaka: Nooo!
She is pulled away. Tentacles wrap around her, holding her in the air.
Shinobu backs into the corner.
Shinobu: What the hell?
More tentacles advance on her. She turns and tries to run, but they
catch her legs. She falls, and they quickly restrain her too.
Shinobu: Help! No!
She is silenced by a tentacle in the mouth.
Tentacle rape sequence.
EXT School
Mrs. Hirose is walking along.
Mrs. Hirose: I wonder where those two have gotten to?
She sees the storage room door and opens it. She sees the two girls
being tentacled.
Mrs. Hirose: Nooo!
She turns, and is faced with more tentacles. They restrain her and
tear her clothes off and start having their wicked way with her.
Etc. Fun, isn't it?
I am Hughes.
David Bulmer wrote in message ...
>>
>>They're 'Rosie' and 'Carrie'.
>
>Ours are called:
>
>
>Downstairs PC: Shallow Thought
>
>Laptop: Thought
>
Downstairs PC : Stupid fucking pile of shit, why have you spontaneously
reset yourself again!
I only have one PC, I'm suffering enough thank you.
Will Lewis
I am so glad that the amazing shitness of LineOne didn't affect this
wonderful pr0n.
WHERE ARE THE FUCKING MESSAGES YOU LINEONE CUNGTS??!?!?!?
Kenny Hutchings
<fearSPAMsatan@bluSPAMeyo-------====*&£*(&"(£&(*&"*(&"£*====REEEEEMOOOOV
EEEEE======*&£&"*&"&*("&*"&"&(£===----------nder.co.uk> wrote:
> To prove how GRATE and CORRECT I am, I will reply to the msg
> <mrEJ$LAJMu...@ntlworld.com> from "Herman WANK in Perfect WANK (\"This
> game is funnier than Pyst! 9/10\" - GameZine)" <MR...@hotmail.com> who
> sent his PILE OF SHIT on Fri, 14 Jul 2000 10:53:13 +0100.
> I will reply with GREAT VENGENCE AND FURIOUS ANGER
>
> > >Are you another Cardiff boy? Does this mean my results probably came just
> > >after I left the house? Cuss.
> >
> > No. I am a UMIST hum0n and a member of the rapidly-dwindling
> > alt.digitiser manchest0r posse. Allegedly.
>
> Well, UNI seems to be over and Chamberlain has fucked off wanking over a
> dotcom company, somewhere. He must be worth millions!*
29TH JUNE: ME TO CHAMBERS--
Sorry to interrupt if you're dealing with Tech Stocks and share
flotations, venture capitalists and shagging Martha Lane-Fox and that,
but are you planning on coming back to alt.digitiser now you're back at
home and everything? Stu and I were just wondering, since Thornton now
has control of Encyclo-alt.digitiser, what had happened to you?
Are you still é-businessing it up with everyone, or have you found
something more enlightening in life?
a.d could use you. There's a serious newbie-cussing session going on,
and photograph circulation all over the place. A voice from the past is
required. If only to break the monotony.
30TH JUNE: CHAMBERS' REPLY--
Hello. I now have a job, and I am writing this from my desk in
Grosvenor Street, W1, looking across at my snooker table, listening to
my hifi, earning £15ph. None of this is a lie. I'm working for
Silkhouse Web Design (www.silkhouse.co.uk), and in fact, am employed by
Julian Lennon. I'm working on a site for Coral Betting, which is going
to be launched with a big advertising campaign in August, and then again
in October (I don't understand this either). I just got my first
paycheck today and all.
I may come back to ad. We're about to get ADSL here, which is
irrelevant. Check out my 'sig':
Cheers,
Mike Chamberlain
Silkhouse Web Design
--------------
So there you go.
K.
Kenny Hutchings
> Charing Cross Branch <sta...@a.blank.screen.com> wrote in message
> news:6HJwOYg16Lyuyt...@4ax.com...
>
<FUCKING SNIP>
> I am so glad that the amazing shitness of LineOne didn't affect this
> wonderful pr0n.
>
> WHERE ARE THE FUCKING MESSAGES YOU LINEONE CUNGTS??!?!?!?
QUOTING HUGE MESSAGES AND ADDING THREE LINES OF COMMENT AT THE END 3:16
K.
James Gregory
Kenny Hutchings <kenny_h...@email.com> wrote in message
news:1edu5kx.inqtf32ti7p5N%kenny_h...@email.com...
It worries me when jokes are not jokes.
James
Charing Cross Branch
Hutchings) wrote:
>> WHERE ARE THE FUCKING MESSAGES YOU LINEONE CUNGTS??!?!?!?
>
>QUOTING HUGE MESSAGES AND ADDING THREE LINES OF COMMENT AT THE END 3:16
I AGREE IN THE STRONGEST POSSIBLE CAPS.
James Lyon
Charing Cross Branch wrote:
> On Sat, 15 Jul 2000 00:40:33 GMT, James Lyon
> <james...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >> And, in a more unpleasant note. I watched more of the pr0n. The thing
> >> rapes them and when they come it jabs the tentacle in so deep it comes
> >> out their mouth, and they die. Lovely.
> >
> >Maybe a job as a scriptwriter would be more to your taste.
> >
> >Sorry, got a bit carried away there.
>
> That is seriously excellent, man. Although it doesn't quite match with
> the actual video where a giant vagina appears on the side of the
> school, half the students are being tentacle raped, and the teacher
> runs up and says 'sorry, there's a problem, the school is closed
> today'.
>
Meanwhile at the Japanes equivalent of the BBFC...
Classifier: Tentacle goes in. Woman moans. Certificate 18.
Janitor (walking past the door): Hmm. Did I just see...Excuse me, sir. Is
that tentacle pr0n.
Classifier: Hrm. Ahem. Yes, the things we have to put up with nowadays.
Janitor: Only, I'm rather an avid fan and...well...
Classifier: What?
Janitor: If I recall, that's a Koraikmernd demon from the sixtieth hell. And
that large organ he happens to be inserting in that fine young woman isn't
actually a tentacle.
Classifier: What?!
Janitor: It's a demon tail.
Classifer: What!!!??
Janitor: I'm sorry. It's just not tentacle pr0n.
Classifier: Motherfucking tail pr0n! Disgusting! Shouldn't be allowed. I'm
going to ban this right away. Now, where's the proper stuff.
[He scans over the selection.]
Classifier: Tendril pr0n, branch pr0n, snout pr0n, root pr0n, paw pr0n, stalk
pr0n, horn pr0n, fin pr0n, wing pr0n.
Janitor: God, what have we become.
Classifier: Curse you, animators. Curse your impure animal protuberance pr0n.
Curse the man who has to watch it all. Only to ban such hideous filth.
Janitor: Hey, check this out! Two lezzers getting it on with a demon frond.
Classifier: Maybe not then.
And thus a new genre was born.
Charing Cross Branch
<james...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>Classifier: Tendril pr0n, branch pr0n, snout pr0n, root pr0n, paw pr0n, stalk
>pr0n, horn pr0n, fin pr0n, wing pr0n.
The thing is, I have seen horn pr0n. But that's it. And branch pr0n...
well, ahem. Yes.
I am also perplexed by your sudden interest in tentacle pr0n.
James Lyon
Charing Cross Branch wrote:
I could ask you the same question.
Charing Cross Branch
<james...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>> I am also perplexed by your sudden interest in tentacle pr0n.
>
>I could ask you the same question.
Only, I have been interested by tentacle pr0n since the very early
days of mass internet usage, when Netscape had a wobbling 'N' in the
corner, when most webpages were grey and black, and when there were
huge ftp sites filled with loads of cool pictures, games, and other
crap that didn't require you to visit a bunch of sites to make a
password.
Will Lewis
Ah, but I had a reason.
In the event of nuclear war, only the strongest of cusses towards LineOne
will be saved in the large supercomputers that Bill Gates and his evil band
of devil-imps are building somewhere under Texas, and I wanted all
references of tentacle pr0n to be saved for the New World Order.
It wasn't just me being shit. No.
Sarah's Dead
PILE OF SHIT on Sat, 15 Jul 2000 00:42:32 +0100.
> Upstairs PC: Deep Thought
>
> Downstairs PC: Shallow Thought
>
> Laptop: Thought
Yes, but if you are typing on a sofa and have no where convientent to
place your arms, thought suddunly becomes difficult. Infact the struggle
to type well at all impales you sullen mind, and you just choak.
Sarah's Dead
his PILE OF SHIT on Sat, 15 Jul 2000 15:18:30 +0100.
> >Well, UNI seems to be over and Chamberlain has fucked off wanking over a
> >dotcom company, somewhere. He must be worth millions!*
>
> What about the 'make shopping for food online BETTER by way of a
> special box that is triggered to release the smell of BACON when you
> look at BACON!' box? No doubt several people will attempt to consume
> the box, and several others will be ravaged by aminals after they
> can't stop the meat-smell being emitted.
So you are saying that that wouldn't work?
GERI HALLIWELL AND HER CHEST OF PH33R
alt.digitiser:
>So you are saying that that wouldn't work?
Maybe the police should interview you, what with your track record of
wanting to pr0k underage girls and all.
--
GERI HALLIWELL AND HER CHEST OF PH33R
BennyX
"Sarah's Dead"
<fearSPAMsatan@bluSPAMeyo-------====*&£*(&"(£&(*&"*(&"£*====REEEEEMOOOOVEEEE
news:MPG.13dcdc623...@news.cableinet.co.uk...
> To prove how GRATE and CORRECT I am, I will reply to the msg
> PILE OF SHIT on Sat, 15 Jul 2000 00:42:32 +0100.
> I will reply with GREAT VENGENCE AND FURIOUS ANGER
>
> >
> > Downstairs PC: Shallow Thought
> >
> > Laptop: Thought
>
> Yes, but if you are typing on a sofa and have no where convientent to
> place your arms, thought suddunly becomes difficult. Infact the struggle
> to type well at all impales you sullen mind, and you just choak.
try placing the keyboard on the arm of the sofa and learning your amrs up,
you can maintain thought for slightly longer that way.
Charing Cross Branch
<fearSPAMsatan@bluSPAMeyo-------====*&£*(&"(£&(*&"*(&"£*====REEEEEMOOOOVEEEEE======*&£&"*&"&*("&*"&"&(£===----------nder.co.uk>
wrote:
>So you are saying that that wouldn't work?
No, because there are only so many smells they could contain in a box,
and besides, what happens when they get something new in stock that's
not in the smell-o-box? And more importantly, SUPER MARKETS DON'T
SMELL. The only area that really has any odour is the fishmonger, and
you could just get a lesbian flatmate and give her a cucumber to
simulate that.
Glyndwr
What if you don't have a lesbian flatmate? Or a cucumber?
--
-=G=-
MS has commited an illegal antitrust operation and must be terminated.
(Thanks CCB)
Web: http://www.fscked.co.uk ICQ: 66545073
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> No, because there are only so many smells they could contain in a box,
>> and besides, what happens when they get something new in stock that's
>> not in the smell-o-box? And more importantly, SUPER MARKETS DON'T
>> SMELL. The only area that really has any odour is the fishmonger, and
>> you could just get a lesbian flatmate and give her a cucumber to
>> simulate that.
>
>What if you don't have a lesbian flatmate? Or a cucumber?
As I said, you could GET one. And order a cucumber from the
supermarket website.
Besides, there's no excuse not to have a lesbian flatmate as FHM has
revealed the best way for a man to score with them.
Glyndwr
Which is presumably to be a lesbian female yourself.
BennyX
"Glyndwr" <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote in message
news:_yIc5.3314$Pj1....@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> > On Mon, 17 Jul 2000 09:35:35 GMT, Sarah's Dead
> >
>
<fearSPAMsatan@bluSPAMeyo-------====*&£*(&"(£&(*&"*(&"£*====REEEEEMOOOOVEEEE
> E======*&£&"*&"&*("&*"&"&(£===----------nder.co.uk>
> > wrote:
> >
> > >So you are saying that that wouldn't work?
> >
> > and besides, what happens when they get something new in stock that's
> > not in the smell-o-box? And more importantly, SUPER MARKETS DON'T
> > SMELL. The only area that really has any odour is the fishmonger, and
> > you could just get a lesbian flatmate and give her a cucumber to
> > simulate that.
>
> What if you don't have a lesbian flatmate? Or a cucumber?
buy one (in answer to both questions)
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> Besides, there's no excuse not to have a lesbian flatmate as FHM has
>> revealed the best way for a man to score with them.
>
>Which is presumably to be a lesbian female yourself.
No, it's for a MAN to score with them. Why are you not reading what
I'm saying?
Glyndwr
Sorry, I'm being fatuous. How can a man score with a lesbian anyway?
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> No, it's for a MAN to score with them. Why are you not reading what
>> I'm saying?
>
>Sorry, I'm being fatuous. How can a man score with a lesbian anyway?
Apparently the process is (according to Athena):
1. neck with her until she begs to be eaten
2. eat her until she begs for dick
3. dick her.
Of course, the real problem is getting a lesbian to even kiss you.
Glyndwr
This was my original point. Assuming this is a real lesbian, and not some
sort of male-fantasy-derived pseduo-lesbian, then she's not gonna do it. At
all. No matter how good your seduction techniques are.
James Lyon
Charing Cross Branch wrote:
I remember, back in the olden days, tentacle pr0n was a concept that few
people had heard of. It was a lot more rough back then. We couldn't
afford the costs of animation so we had to film everything live. Me and
Barry used to rent out the warehouse at the end of the industrial estate
and power up the cameras from a portable generator we took with us.
For the tentacles, well my mate Dave used to work in a rubber factory
and used to be able to get a few rejects from the tubing factory. We
painted them green and black and operated through the use of either
strings or putting them on our arms like puppets.
The girls were great. They used to act real scared when we started
filming. Lots of close-ups of course. Those tentacles weren't exactly
convincing.
Only problem was, when it came to penetration, due to the high toxicity
of the rubber and the chance of them melting under the strong lights, we
couldn't actually use the tentacles. Fellatio was out of the question
too. There wasn't really anything we could use as a replacement, either.
In the end, we had to settle for simulated sex-scenes. It was really
soft-core - the kind of stuff you'd get on Channel 5 nowadays. And, when
we padded out the plot, we couldn't afford to do that whole 'demon
plants take over the Earth' so we had to go for kitchen-sink drama
instead. Here's a quick example.
Yumi: We need to pay the bills.
Tentacle: Don't tell me what we need! I'm looking for work.
Yumi: Look...I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you angry. Come here.
Tentacle: I love you, Yumi.
Yumi: Me too. Er, not on the lips. I've got a bit of a cold...
And then those bastard anime folks over in Japan kick-start the industry
and we're out of a job. Not that it mattered we only sold about ten
copies.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> Of course, the real problem is getting a lesbian to even kiss you.
>
>This was my original point. Assuming this is a real lesbian, and not some
>sort of male-fantasy-derived pseduo-lesbian, then she's not gonna do it. At
>all. No matter how good your seduction techniques are.
Drink, which was one of the things that 'worked' in the article, is a
good 'technique'.
Glyndwr
I remain dubious. Men's magazine == pander to male fantasies.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> Drink, which was one of the things that 'worked' in the article, is a
>> good 'technique'.
>
>I remain dubious. Men's magazine == pander to male fantasies.
What does FHM stand for anyway? And surely a lesbian wouldn't lower
herself to pandering for men's fantasies? And no 'For Horny Men'
jokes, if you don't know, don't say anything.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> >So, are you planning on going into games journalism, then?
>>
>> That's right.
>
>What's the typical pay like?
According to an article in PC Gam0r about 18 months ago regarding work
in the industry, £15,000 a year. But that might be okay, considering
you no longer pay for games.
Glyndwr
I always thought it was the somewhat naff "For Him Magazine". Could be wrong
though. And probably not, hence my dubiousness about the article. Although I
loev FHM normally, on account of it actually being laugh-out-loud funny
(something a lot of men's mags seem to overlook).
Glyndwr
Hmmmm. Not a hell of a lot, is it...
Nah. I think I'll graduate with a first and land a job in the city building
computer models of the stock market. £25k a year to start, swiftly followed
by ulcers and stress-related heart attacks. Hmmm. On reflection, perhaps
I'll do a PhD.
Tom Scott - look, I used my real name!!
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> went thus:
>I always thought it was the somewhat naff "For Him Magazine".
as well.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>Hmmmm. Not a hell of a lot, is it...
No. But you can also freelance and get more on the side.
>Nah. I think I'll graduate with a first and land a job in the city building
>computer models of the stock market. £25k a year to start, swiftly followed
>by ulcers and stress-related heart attacks. Hmmm. On reflection, perhaps
>I'll do a PhD.
Oh yes, a first. My marks came today, what about yours?
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> What does FHM stand for anyway? And surely a lesbian wouldn't lower
>> herself to pandering for men's fantasies? And no 'For Horny Men'
>> jokes, if you don't know, don't say anything.
>
>I always thought it was the somewhat naff "For Him Magazine". Could be wrong
>though. And probably not, hence my dubiousness about the article. Although I
>loev FHM normally, on account of it actually being laugh-out-loud funny
>(something a lot of men's mags seem to overlook).
This is true. Just about every gaming mag out there should read FHM,
so that they could learn how to do amusing captions again.
In fact, FHM is so excellent, it beggars belief that someone as rank
as Mike Goldsmith writes for it.
Glyndwr
> On Tue, 18 Jul 2000 19:14:43 +0100, "Glyndwr"
> <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >Hmmmm. Not a hell of a lot, is it...
>
> No. But you can also freelance and get more on the side.
There is this. And eventually become a respected industry figure and charge
loads to give 1hr seminars.
> >Nah. I think I'll graduate with a first and land a job in the city
building
> >computer models of the stock market. £25k a year to start, swiftly
followed
> >by ulcers and stress-related heart attacks. Hmmm. On reflection, perhaps
> >I'll do a PhD.
>
> Oh yes, a first. My marks came today, what about yours?
A few days back - forgot to mention. I did a bit shit because of this
conversation earlier this year:
Me: "So, how much of this year counts to my final degree mark, then?"
Mrs Slater (head admin type person for Computer Science): "Ahh, because of
[some bureucratic nonsense], none."
Me: "Uhhh-huh. So, all my marks this year will be thrown away?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "And my entire degree mark depends only on the final year?"
Her: "Yes."
Amount of effort put in this year = none. Modules passed = all, except the
one I was three hours late for the exam.
Glyndwr
> On Tue, 18 Jul 2000 19:13:13 +0100, "Glyndwr"
> <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >> What does FHM stand for anyway? And surely a lesbian wouldn't lower
> >> herself to pandering for men's fantasies? And no 'For Horny Men'
> >> jokes, if you don't know, don't say anything.
> >
> >I always thought it was the somewhat naff "For Him Magazine". Could be
wrong
> >though. And probably not, hence my dubiousness about the article.
Although I
> >loev FHM normally, on account of it actually being laugh-out-loud funny
> >(something a lot of men's mags seem to overlook).
>
> This is true. Just about every gaming mag out there should read FHM,
> so that they could learn how to do amusing captions again.
This is an excellent point, and one that I hadn't thought of before. If I
were a millionaire, I'd buy every games mag a sub to FHM. But I'm not.
> In fact, FHM is so excellent, it beggars belief that someone as rank
> as Mike Goldsmith writes for it.
Who?
James Lyon
Glyndwr wrote:
> "Charing Cross Branch" <sta...@a.blank.screen.com> wrote in message
> news:rqJ0OXTJBliZkB...@4ax.com...
> > On Tue, 18 Jul 2000 19:13:13 +0100, "Glyndwr"
> > <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
> >
> > >> What does FHM stand for anyway? And surely a lesbian wouldn't lower
> > >> herself to pandering for men's fantasies? And no 'For Horny Men'
> > >> jokes, if you don't know, don't say anything.
> > >
> > >I always thought it was the somewhat naff "For Him Magazine". Could be
> wrong
> > >though. And probably not, hence my dubiousness about the article.
> Although I
> > >loev FHM normally, on account of it actually being laugh-out-loud funny
> > >(something a lot of men's mags seem to overlook).
> >
> > This is true. Just about every gaming mag out there should read FHM,
> > so that they could learn how to do amusing captions again.
>
Total Film has a high level of amusing captions as well.
Daniel Thornton
> What does FHM stand for anyway?
Resting on their laurels, mostly.
(For Him Magazine)
Along with Heat, FHM has gone rapidly downhill. Never anything worth
reading in it, and the only other reason that people would buy it is
because they can't reach Razzle.
Proof that high circulation encourages laziness.
At least Loaded is now out of it's rubbish stage and better than it ever
was. Possibly due to being edited by Cheeky Monkey for the last few months.
--
The Wibble - A Funny Website comprised of funny things
http://www.the-wibble.co.uk http://www.thewibble.co.uk
"Lines? None."
Last updated on July 16, 2000
Daniel Thornton
> I always thought it was the somewhat naff "For Him Magazine". Could be wrong
> though.
You're right though. It used to be a magazine sent out to barber shops
(true) mostly, and that was it's title. It fell into the hands of EMAP in
one of their aquiring small-fry phases, and was relaunched and gooded up.
Except it's now shit.
The Great Cthulhu
"Glyndwr" <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote in message news:i81d5.780$uY6....@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> > On Tue, 18 Jul 2000 18:27:18 +0100, "Glyndwr"
> > <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
> >
> > >> Drink, which was one of the things that 'worked' in the article, is a
> > >> good 'technique'.
> > >
> > >I remain dubious. Men's magazine == pander to male fantasies.
> >
> > herself to pandering for men's fantasies? And no 'For Horny Men'
> > jokes, if you don't know, don't say anything.
>
That's what I've always thought it was.
>Could be wrong
I doubt it.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> In fact, FHM is so excellent, it beggars belief that someone as rank
>> as Mike Goldsmith writes for it.
>
>Who?
He was the editor of Offical UK PS magazine, which, if that doesn't
make him enough of a skank, writes some of the most biased tosh you'll
see outside of nab's outbox. You know, 5/10 = worth buying, etc.
Glyndwr
> On Tue, 18 Jul 2000 19:39:13 +0100, "Glyndwr"
> <gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >> In fact, FHM is so excellent, it beggars belief that someone as rank
> >> as Mike Goldsmith writes for it.
> >
> >Who?
>
> He was the editor of Offical UK PS magazine,
Say no more... but then you did.
> which, if that doesn't
> make him enough of a skank, writes some of the most biased tosh you'll
> see outside of nab's outbox. You know, 5/10 = worth buying, etc.
I see.
Charing Cross Branch
<gly...@FSCKdeletemeED.co.uk> wrote:
>> No. But you can also freelance and get more on the side.
>
>There is this. And eventually become a respected industry figure and charge
>loads to give 1hr seminars.
Or, just become a self-help guru, have a 4-day series of talks, and
charge people £900 a throw. I am not kidding.
>A few days back - forgot to mention. I did a bit shit because of this
>conversation earlier this year:
>
>Me: "So, how much of this year counts to my final degree mark, then?"
>Mrs Slater (head admin type person for Computer Science): "Ahh, because of
>[some bureucratic nonsense], none."
>Me: "Uhhh-huh. So, all my marks this year will be thrown away?"
>Her: "Yes."
>Me: "And my entire degree mark depends only on the final year?"
>Her: "Yes."
>
>Amount of effort put in this year = none. Modules passed = all, except the
>one I was three hours late for the exam.
I have one first (in Cultural Criticism). Muhuhu. But then, first year
Journo-ism is SHIT.