Lad's Army
DBSnappa
I spent three days last week, doing publicity stills for this program that
starts bank holiday monday.
Basically, they've recruited thirty 18-24 year olds (from an original 1500
apps), to put them through an intense simulation of National Service.
Me being of the age to have a father that went through this, had a fairly
good idea that you'd have to be a complete muppet to volunteer for this kind
of thing!
The lads were transported onto Browndown Training camp last Thursday at
3.30pm, where they were searched for all modern paraphernalia (they are also
setting this in the 50's, so all diet, clothes and general surroundings will
be of the period).
I got to photograph all of them then, as they were, before the NCO's got
hold of them. To say that some of them were nervous is a mild
understatement; some of them were literally shaking with fear, having had a
very brief taste of what lay in store for them.
They would have a fairly easy rest of the day, with delightful stewed tea
and stale corn-beef sarnies as supper (deliberately fewer than there were
recruits!). They would also be introduced to their Corporals, who sould be
their platoon leaders and general nemesis' for the next month.
Both of these Corporals are serving currently, but their ranks are much
higher in reality; they've just been 'demoted' for their roles in this
production.
The next day basically consisted of being very rudely awakened at 6.30am
(which I believe is the norm, until the sadism gets the better of the NCO's
and they start dragging them out of bed at 2am for drill instruction or
physical training, tee-hee), then drilled for a while, followed by Kit
handout (all original itchy-scratchy 50's style fatigues), haircutting and
medical inspection. All of which was done with much discipline and typical
army fair.
All I have to say is this; the look of shell-shock on the 'squaddies' faces
is worth viewing the program for alone, the NCO's (Corporals Joe Murray
(serious mean MF who is in fact a Para and was one of the first to drop into
enemy territory in Kosovo), and Richard Nyarchos, another sadist), both have
evil senses of humour; seeing all thirty squaddies lying face down on the
parade ground while Joe Murray strolls across their backs almost made me wet
myself with laughter. These boys have little or no contact with the outside
world for the next month, they will hopefully receive mail from loved ones,
but there will obviously be no e-mail or mobiles as they weren't invented in
the 50's. There also won't be any Lager, as pale ale is the order of the
day!
The bottom line is this, would the lure of TV be enough to make you go
through living hell for 28 days? I personally think that they are all
insane, and seeing the looks in some of their eyes less than 24hrs after
enlistment, I believe they think so as well.
I'm going back to the base on Thursday and Friday, I'll let you know how
they're fairing!
Watch this, it's going to be very funny. It goes out at 9pm, Mondays and
Wednesdays starting next Monday.
--
DBSnappa
ICQ 109045511
20% of our time is spent asleep, 20% of our time is spent earning a living
(less if you're a student, natch) and the other 60% is spent pissing about
doing stuff of alarming inconsequence; you might as well have fun with some
of it!
The Rev
"DBSnappa" wrote...
> The bottom line is this, would the lure of TV be enough to make you go
> through living hell for 28 days?
I never want to be on TV. The prospect of a million quid, or something,
might tempt me, but... but...
These people are just insane.
--
Your weapons are most impressive.
DBSnappa
> Shakespeare wrote plays and sonnets that will last for eternity.
> "DBSnappa" wrote...
>
>> The bottom line is this, would the lure of TV be enough to make you go
>> through living hell for 28 days?
>
> I never want to be on TV. The prospect of a million quid, or something,
> might tempt me, but... but...
>
> These people are just insane.
>
I forgot to mention a couple of the characters.... Tom Wolf who is a posh
kid, with a job in the city awaiting him. He turned up in a navy blue pin-
stripe whistle, and Jodie(sp?) Copeland, who runs an embrodery shop with his
mother! Tom will be fine, though I suspect that Jodie will find it hard.
There are several major wimps on this course who looked like they were ready
to cry upon arrival.
Brackets
"DBSnappa" <DavidJremov...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Xns921CBF742...@130.133.1.4...
> The bottom line is this, would the lure of TV be enough to make you go
> through living hell for 28 days? I personally think that they are all
> insane, and seeing the looks in some of their eyes less than 24hrs after
> enlistment, I believe they think so as well.
Maybe for money, or "an experience". However, I would not categorise what
you just mentioned as an "experience" that I would enjoy / find useful.
> Watch this, it's going to be very funny. It goes out at 9pm, Mondays and
> Wednesdays starting next Monday.
On terrestial?
--
Alex
Studders
Greggers
Brackets
The Fantabulous Mr Robert Dawes
"Brackets" <al.gregor...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:ad0orl$taqrv$1...@ID-81201.news.dfncis.de...
ITV, I think.
--
Robertster
DBSnappa
Brackets
Good good.
Hughes.
DBSnappa <DavidJremov...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> Basically, they've recruited thirty 18-24 year olds (from an original 1500
> apps), to put them through an intense simulation of National Service.
>
> Me being of the age to have a father that went through this, had a fairly
> good idea that you'd have to be a complete muppet to volunteer for this kind
> of thing!
>
I agree, my Dad's cheery tales of men cracking up and falling on their own
bayonettes just to end the horror of it provide endles amusement.
Also amusing tales of being sent through rooms filled with poisonous gas and
having to work out from your symptoms which antidote to take ot be hospitalised,
oh the merriment!
> the NCO's (Corporals Joe Murray
> (serious mean MF who is in fact a Para
Another tale of my Dad's was one night there was a training exercise where there
was to be a simulated enemy takeover of the base, everyone was expecting a sort
of play acting shout "bang" and you're out of the game and you go and have a cup
of tea 'til it's all over, like a sort of pre-paintball paintball game.
Unfortunately the "invasion force' were a bunch of bastard hard Para's who
silently came up and broke the noses of the guards on the main gate, leaving
them unconcious in a bloody heap, they then silently swept through the base
beating the living shit out of anyone who opposed them. There were a few
hospitalisations that night. Luckily my Dad had got pissed on a late pass and
was late getting back to base, her missed the whole thing, mohh.
>
> The bottom line is this, would the lure of TV be enough to make you go
> through living hell for 28 days?
Not for me thanks.
>
> I'm going back to the base on Thursday and Friday, I'll let you know how
> they're fairing!
>
bohh
> Watch this, it's going to be very funny. It goes out at 9pm, Mondays and
> Wednesdays starting next Monday.
I shall.
--
I amuse (I am Hughes.)
Judge_Nutmeg in teh hahs
Hughes. is filmed in front of a live studio audience.
James Gregory
DBSnappa wrote:
> The bottom line is this, would the lure of TV be enough to make you go
> through living hell for 28 days?
I joined an infantry regiment of the Territorial Army as a private
because it "seemed like a good idea at the time". It was OK for a few
months, when we just got shouted at a bit by TA NCOs who broke up the
shouting with sometimes being nice to us, but then I went to Catterick
where the people doing the training were regular NCOs and it was a bit
like as you describe above - though I think the corporal in charge of
our lot was even nastier than the other groups' corporals, he really was
a bastard (maybe it was just an act, but it didn't seem like it).
I left after a few days of being at Catterick as I couldn't hack someone
shouting and beasting me 20 hours a day.
James
Ben
news:wh-6E0CDD.11...@eos.uk.clara.net...
>
> Another tale of my Dad's was one night there was a training exercise where
there
> was to be a simulated enemy takeover of the base, everyone was expecting a
sort
> of play acting shout "bang" and you're out of the game and you go and have
a cup
> of tea 'til it's all over, like a sort of pre-paintball paintball game.
> Unfortunately the "invasion force' were a bunch of bastard hard Para's who
> silently came up and broke the noses of the guards on the main gate,
leaving
> them unconcious in a bloody heap, they then silently swept through the
base
> beating the living shit out of anyone who opposed them. There were a few
> hospitalisations that night. Luckily my Dad had got pissed on a late pass
and
> was late getting back to base, her missed the whole thing, mohh.
I worked with a guy who was in the TA, and another guy who was in the
Pathfinders (leet Para regiment type). The TA guy went on a hike one night,
and then found out that they were going to be mock ambushed by paras. He
found this out when they knocked him out with a blow to the back of the neck
and woke up suspended upside down from a tree by a rope around his feet.
They had three TA guys like this, and were busy building a fire underneath
them. They didn't light it, but whether they meant to wasn't revealed.
The pathfinder's guy was about 5ft 6, wore glasses and was the most mild
mannered guy ever. Until he was arrested for ABH after a mugger stuck a
knife to his throat at a cashpoint, and Mr Pathfinder broke 3 of his ribs
and his jaw and walked away. The mugger said (after they wired his jaw back
together, presumably) that he thought my mate was a friend and was playing a
joke, so they pulled him up on ABH. Didn't last long, surprisingly, given
the mugger's 3 convictions for, erm, knifepoint muggings at cashpoints.
If I wasn't such a wuss, I'd join the armed forces, as it sounds fucking
fantastic.