ADMIN: FAQ Supplement 3 *** Bunny Technology and Weapons

1 view
Skip to first unread message

Bill Keyes

unread,
Aug 25, 2003, 12:33:27 PM8/25/03
to
Archive-name: appendix-3
Last-modified: 1999/11/19

***** ALT.DEVILBUNNIES FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS *****
Supplemental FAQ Part 3
Bunny Technology and Weapons
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written on Oct 15 1993. Updated on 25Oct1993, 11Nov1993, 3Jan1994, 11Sep1994,
10Dec1994, 6Jan1995, 15Sep1995, 10Oct1995, 22Jul1997, 19Nov1999.

Compiled, written, and edited by Bill Keyes (bke...@lamar.colostate.edu),
with help from Lisa O'Donnell, Kieran Turner, Mark Richardson, and others
too numerous to list. Thanks all.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
***** BUNNY TECHNOLOGY AND WEAPONS *****

Q. I thought the DevilBunnies just used their teeth and claws?
A. Well, a DB's best weapons have always been and will always be its
natural ones, "huge sharp teeth that bite off great rocks and trees,"
to quote Monte Python. But their scientists are working on new
ways to kill or convert humans quickly and efficiently.

Q. Wait a minute... Convert?
A. Yes. Bunnies can convert as well as kill. AntiBunnies provide some
protection, but if you are bitten, be sure to seek immediate medical
attention, or who knows? You might wake up one day with long ears and
a fuzzy tail... (See the BunnyVirus FAQ (Appendice 3c) for more
information).

Q. What are the methods of conversion?
A. The DBs, being devious creatures, have several methods. Most basic, of
course, is simple seduction. They hop their way into your heart, and
soon you are their willing slave. More dangerous is the Bunny bite,
which can sometimes deliver a viral infection. This progressive
disease can lead to death, or more often, it can actually turn you into
a Bunny!

Q. What is BunnyArmor?
A. Bunny-sized body armor, available to almost all Bunnies. It is somewhat
bulletproof, though BunnyShot and Fireaxes will penetrate it. Shiny
and black like the carapice of an insect, often covered with sharp knobs
and protruberances, BunnyArmor makes the DBs virtually immune to our
liquid and sonic weapons.

Q. What is BUNIX?
A. BUNIX is a twisted version of the UNIX computer system (which is itself
a twisted version of who knows what). The DBs use it to communicate
as well as to send top secret messages. When a DevilBunny post says
"BUNIX X encoding activated" or some such, Fudds cannot read it, as
we have not yet cracked the code. (See the Ground Rules FAQ for more
information)

Along the same lines, the DBs seem to be in control of Microsoft!
Think about it... Micro+soft==>Small+fluffy==>Bunnies!

Q. What is MorphArmor?
A. There are DBs trained in the use of a special type of armor, called
MorphArmor. The armor can somehow alter the bunnies' shape and lets
them assume human form. They are almost indistinguishable from real
humans... only their scent can give them away, and then only to the highly
sensitive noses of our Ferrotti allies. Luckily, this MorphArmor is rare
in the extreme. (See the Morpharmor FAQ (Appendice 3b) for more
information).

Q. Why do DevilBunnies drive beer trucks?
A. Over the years, the DBs have somehow acquired a number of beer trucks.
They use these trucks as transport for their troops, since they are
inconspicuous and can be found everywhere. We suspect that they
chose beer trucks as transports because of the key ingredient of beer:
Hops. (See the BunnyMover FAQ (Appendice 3d) for more information.

Q. Why shouldn't I eat SPAM (tm)?
A. Well, for one thing, it's gross. I mean, moist, rubbery pink cubes of
pseudo meat packed in a slimy gelatinous substance? Eeuygh! The more
important reason, though, is that the DBs have infiltrated (perhaps
even created) the Spam process. Do not buy it or eat it. If you know
of a resturant that serves Spam, report them immediately. It is
rumored that human flesh is used in Spam's production. Spork (TM) is
also suspect.

Q. Mmmmm.... Snapple (tm)......
A. Don't drink that! The Devilbunnies invented the foul stuff, and it is
almost certainly filled with toxic, mind-numbing chemicals! Geez, just
look at one of their commercials and you can see -- it's definitely a
Bunny plot to make the world cute!

Q. Is it true that the Devilbunnies have been spotted at sea?
A. Yes, the DBs have formed their own small but powerful navy. Email
Admiral Marlin (awe...@cam.org) for more information.

Q. What's this I hear about squirrels?
A. Some DBs have used their nanite technology to enhance the intelligence
of certain squirrels, who most often act as allies. The process is very
unstable, rarely used, and carefully monitored and controled. Some few
squirrels have escaped their fuzzy masters and have formed an underground
resistance movement. See the Squirrel FAQ for more details.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Herein lies the end of the third Supplement to the DevilBunny FAQ. Any and
all questions, comments, additions, subtractions, multiplications, or
divisions should be sent to Bill Keyes (bke...@lamar.colostate.edu).

This document and all information contained within is copyright (c) 1994
by Bill Keyes. All rights reserved. It may not be reproduced or reposted
by any means, electronic or otherwise, in part or in whole, without prior
permission from the author.

Bill.

* Bill Keyes /\ * bke...@lamar.colostate.edu *
* c////////=================|__|=> * Sic semper cuniculis daemoniacis! *
* Bunny hunter Extreme & / \ * alt.devilbunnies FAQ Keeper *
* Independent Fudd <______> * http://www.devilbunnies.org *

Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages