[s 1/?] The Sound and The Furry

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Scott Robert Dawson

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Nov 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/30/98
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"The Sound and The Furry"
Part One: Ideas

October. A former motel near Kingston, Ontario.

The old reception area of the motel had been converted to a common
room for the residents of the motel. A stairway off to one side led up
to the owners' suite in the second floor of the building; it also led
down to the basement. Through the picture windows, the entrances of
the former motel rooms were visible.

Elaine Fong, a Fudd-Sympathizer from Kingston, was eating lunch at the
large dining-room table. Willy Aduin, one of the owners of the motel,
was visible through an archway, cooking in the kitchen. A stereo
filled the room with music.

Karol Burnett appeared outside one of the rooms, glanced around the
parking lot, then closed the door of the room and turned towards the
common room. In a few minutes, he entered the room.

Karol glanced in Elaine's direction to say hello, but something made
him pause. He moved over for a closer look. Elaine was snacking on
peeled carrots; the package lay on the table. Karol picked it up,
and paled. "Elaine, did you look at the package these carrots came
in?"

"No. I was in a hurry at the food store and just grabbed them..."

"I suggest you look at it now." Karol handed Elaine the package. It
was a simple plastic wrapper.

Boldly printed across the package was the brand name: "Bunny-Luv".
Below, in smaller print, the words "Organic Peeled Carrots/ Carottes
Pelées Organique" identified the product in English and French. Above,
on a heart-shaped background, was a cartoon of a rather fetching
female rabbit (complete with long lashes and orange lipstick) holding
a carrot. A circular badge at the left contained the maker's name:
Grimmway Farms.

"Perhaps this was not the best brand to buy..."

Elaine looked at the package and blushed. "It definitely isn't the
best thing for a member of the AoF to buy..."

"But it's an excellent example of Bunny propaganda," Karol said.
"Notice the ecological slant, and the fair appearance of the product.
But also notice how the maker's name clashes subtly with this.
'Grimmway Farms'? The true nature of the Bunny will always show
through, for those with the wit to look."

"Yes, Karol," said Elaine. She didn't fully agree with Karol's
almost-Fuddamentalist tendency to see Bunny evil in every lapine
coincidence, but she'd heard tales of his experiences with the rabbits
and was willing to give him the benifit of the doubt.

Karol headed for the kitchen, muttering to himself, "...and they
probably got Wynn to pose for the cartoon..."

He entered the kitchen. "Willy, is that your music on the stereo?"

"Yes," Willy replied. "I'm dubbing some out-of-print vinyl to
minidisc. It's Sebastian Hardie, the Four Moments album."

"Mid-seventies?"

"1976. How could you tell?"

"The organ," said Karol. "Like early Moody Blues. It has that
progressive-rock sound. But, Willy... minidisc?"

"Sure. It's recordable, durable, and convenient..."

"...and cute. You KNOW where it was developed, right?"

"Well... Japan?"

"Yes. Do I need to remind you that Japan is under the paw of the
Bunnies right now, and has produced some of the most sickeningly cute
things known to consumers anywhere? Do I have to mention
Saturday-morning television?"

Willy shuddered. "No. One viewing of Pokemon is enough. But I *do*
have an ulterior motive... you know that the minidisc is a digital
recorder, right?"

"Yes..."

"And what happens when the input of a digital recorder is overloaded?"

Vague memories of electronics school floated through Karol's mind. "It
clips?" he ventured.

"It clips most nastily. I discovered that while I was setting up the
stereo. I got feedback from output to input, and it created one of the
most unpleasant noises I've ever heard." Willy paused to stir the
stew. "Now, any digital recorder will do that, but DAT decks and
consumer CD recorders are just too expensive right now, and PCs and
soundcards are a little delicate for what I have in mind. The minidisc
recorder is perfect."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Psychological warfare. I was looking through the minidisc.org pages,
and I found a link to another site that described various brands of
blank disc, and had pictures. Whan I saw how appallingly cute some of
those discs were, I knew that the Bunnies would take to them like
ducks to water, even if they weren't involved from the beginning.

"We know that the Bunnies are repelled by uncute sounds. What if those
sounds were coming from one of *their* cute toys?"

"Interesting." said Karol. "How were you thinking of doing it?"

Willy grinned. "We strap a Sharp 702, a loudhailer, and some minidiscs
to the front of your car. That way, when we go into battle, the
Bunnies can see exactly what's coming. When we play the clipped sound,
it'll confuse them just long enough to give us an extra edge."

"I like it," Karol said. "Let's talk more about this after dinner."

"Okay," Willy said, "I'd like to show you the 702, the mixer, and the
rest. Also, have you seen the grizzly suit?"

"Grizzly suit?"

"Yes. We just got it. This guy near North Bay came up with it. His
idea was to build a suit that would enable someone to withstand the
attack of a full-grown grizzly bear."

"You're kidding," Karol said. He paused and looked at Willy.

"You're serious? Withstand the attack of a grizzly?"

"Apparently. It looks like something out of Mad Max combined with
Robocop. We're trialling the military version; it masses over sixty
kilos, and I'm not going to say how much it cost. It may be useful in
certain specialized circumstances.

"it'd be interesting to see how it withstands the attack of a
devilbunny."

"I'd better go wash up," Karol added, "then I'll help with the table."

Dinner was almost ready; Karol left the room. A few minutes later, he
returned and began gathering dishes. Soon the table was ready, and
Willy called everyone for dinner.

TBC!


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