What really is SAFE?

[Charly W.]

INTRODUCTION TO S.A.F.E.

If you are a divorced or separated father who is not being treated fairly
by the courts, lawyers, or
other professionals, if you are not being given a fair chance at custody,
if you have been reduced to
a visitor to your own child, if a vindictive mother is interfering with
your access to your child, if you
are having your back broken by unfair support, if your basic civil rights
are being violated as a father
this discussion is for you.

I want to introduce you to SAFE and to the way we are helping fathers from
coast to coast.

I believe that after reading what I have to say you will be on your way to
gaining your rights with the
help of SAFE, the fathers' advocate.

Probably no one in America has conducted more research on the subject of
fathers' rights than
Charles Walden.

As a professional social worker, I have gained the respect of Americans
from every walk of life.

My reputation as a professional with uncompromising dedication to the
rights of fathers and children
to have a meaningful relationship with each other has made SAFE THE
fathers' organization, one
that millions of fathers turn to for help.

Through the years it has been my great pleasure and honor to speak to
fathers both in person and
through the media from one end of this great nation to the other.

I know that there are three pressing questions that most fathers have. They
ask what is SAFE, how
can it help me, and how do we get started? Well, I'm going to try to give
you some insight into each
of these questions.

First of all, the letters SAFE stand for Society Against Family
Endangerment and that is exactly
what SAFE is.

We advocate for fathers, we provide information, and we refer you to any
individual or group who
might be able to further help you.

We are a membership organization and donations made to further our work are
tax deductible.

Almost a decade ago I founded what is now SAFE.

We started as a grass roots local fathers' group in Spokane and within a
year we were serving
fathers from coast to coast.

Throughout our history we have focused on providing all kinds of help. We
have testified before
legislative bodies. We have appeared as experts in court hearings. We have
represented your
interest within the media. We have conducted national studies documenting
your problems. We
have been your voice where ever anyone would listen.

Through the years our primary goal has been to educate ourselves as a
fathers' organization. Fathers
from all 50 states have made their wishes known to us.

More than anything else, fathers have told us with one resounding voice
that they want individual
help. That they want to have a meaningful relationship with their children
before they're grown up
and most of all they want to learn how to be treated fairly by the courts.
They want to be treated
like Americans not like American Express cards.

As a direct result of what fathers have demanded, SAFE has become a service
organization. An
organization that stands ready to serve you, to receive justice, and help
you to maintain your
relationship with your children.

The most important thing that SAFE does is provide you with information.

Knowledge is power and when it comes to fathers' advocacy, and by the time
you finish listening to
this discussion, you will know what specific steps you can take to become
empowered through the
knowledge that SAFE has to offer.

SAFE dispenses timely and accurate information by means of tapes and
publications that allows us
to quickly put you on the cutting edge of what's working and not working
for fathers as they battle
with the courts, as they battle with bureaucracies, and often as they
battle with their own attorneys.

SAFE also has a wide array of publications available to help you, your
lawyer, or in some cases
fathers who are representing themselves. safe has assembled a panel of
experts who have
experience in assisting fathers. Our executive panel consists of lawyers,
mental health professionals,
and fathers' advocates from across the nation.

Later I will explain how you can have these SAFE experts on your side.
Giving you the state of the
art information that can help you.

As I have said, SAFE is now a service organization. But whom does SAFE
serve?

Well, based on a decade's experience I'd say SAFE, if the truth be known,
serves America. I
believe that every time a vindictive mother is allowed to spew her wrath on
an innocent child and a
loving father, America is hurt.

But more specifically we naturally serve fathers whether they are divorced,
separated, or have never
been married, but there are others whom we serve as well.

We serve second wives. Lord knows that there are thousands and thousands of
loving, kind, and
concerned women in America who have married divorced fathers, and, as a
result of this active love
- have been terrorized by vindictive ex-wives.

We serve grandparents. It is a sad fact of life that for every father who
is unable to have a
relationship with his child there are often two grandparents that suffer at
the hands of the vindictive
mother.

At SAFE we address a host of problems. Perhaps the most serious problem
that we address is
custody. During marriage parents share all responsibilities and have equal
rights under the law.

In the absence of marriage there is an illogical and sickening cancer that
is growing in our society
where by fathers are considered excess baggage, where by fathers are
considered disposable
parents.

SAFE stands for justice under the law where by every child in America
is entitled to each
parent and no parent is favored souly on the basis of her sex.
SAFE believes that each parent is entitled to access to their child
and when a vindictive
mother decides to break a court's order, when she has the audacity to
think that she is above
the law then SAFE is willing and able to assist fathers to hold her to
the law or have sanctions
opposed upon her as the common yet vicious criminal that she actually
is.
SAFE believes that both parents have an equal responsibility to
support their children. We do
not believe that courts have a right to levy what amounts to a
marriage tax on fathers and,
moreover, we do not believe that any parent should receive child
support funds and not be at
all accountable to anyone.
SAFE believes in responsible parenting, and our experience has taught
us that neither parent
has a monopoly on irresponsibility. SAFE believes that each parent has
a right to the fruits of
their labors.

Being married or getting divorced does not make a parent an indentured
servant or slave. Those
who believe that fathers are in some way obligated to give away all their
worldly goods and most of
their future earnings as the result of divorce are simply advocating for a
sexist brand of socialism
where by, for the average woman in America, marriage becomes the most
important qualification
for retirement.

We believe in a fair system by which both parents are responsible and
children come out the
winners in every respect.

SAFE knows that in most cases vindictive mothers get just what they want
from the courts. We are
also aware that, for some mothers hardly worthy of that title, they will
engage in anything to advance
their economic and often sick goals.

Many of these mothers, helped by equally sick mental health professionals,
engage in making
malicious false child abuse allegations against fathers. It is a sad fact
of life in America that the vast
majority of child abuse allegations are false and that the vast amounts of
these false allegations are
launched by vindictive mothers who are using these false charges as a
strategic weapon in an unholy
war.

And finally, it is a shocking fact of life in America that fathers have
been systematically stripped of
their civil rights. Yes that is right.

At the core of every problem that divorced fathers face there is a civil
rights violation. The United
States Constitution is rich and generous in the provision of civil rights
for all Americans.
Unfortunately the average domestic lawyer is legally and morally bankrupt
when it comes to the
knowledge and will to assert and defend a father's constitutional rights.

That is why SAFE has become your leading organization advocating for the
civil rights of fathers.
SAFE believes that there is no civil right as precious as a parent's right
to an unencumbered
relationship with his child.

Whenever a father denied equal protection under the law, whenever a father
is denied due process,
whenever a loving father is reduced to a mere prop, not being heard and not
having a
constitutionally protected right to his child...America bleeds, and a mere
domestic court does undo
the work of this nations founding fathers.

My friend, American fathers have died faced down in the mud to protect
rights not nearly as
precious as the right to their own flesh and blood.

SAFE stands for civil rights for fathers and stands ready to assist anyone
willing to assert their civil
rights as a father and as an American.

As a service organization our primary objective is to give you the
information you need. Knowledge
is power and with the knowledge you will gain you will have the power to
more effectively advocate
for yourself and for the children who you love.

If you would like to have SAFE's expertise involved in your individual case
SAFE will do a case
assessment for you. I will gladly send you the information you need on how
you can have SAFE's
executive panel give you and your lawyer an assessment of the most
effective way to approach your
problems.

SAFE is on the cutting edge of domestic research.

My friend, we stand ready to assist your attorney, or, for fathers who may
be representing
themselves, we are able to provide legal research to assist you.

Most fathers wonder how is SAFE able to afford to make these services
available. You may be
interested in knowing that while those we oppose, the radical feminists'
organization for example are
funded by huge grants and tax payers' money, SAFE does not receive any
government money.

The plain truth is that SAFE often opposes government policies that have
taken civil rights from
fathers.

The government has no interest in funding SAFE. For nearly a decade SAFE
has been funded by
those who use our services. It is kind of a pay as you go system by which
fathers make small,
regular contributions bases on the services we provide.

As I mentioned earlier, SAFE is a membership organization and that is how
we are funded and that
is how we are in a position to help you.

I need to tell you that every day we receive numerous calls from dads from
all over the wanting to
talk to me and other SAFE staff. Understandably fathers often in a
desperate situation want to talk
to the experts directly. They want their answers immediately. Please
understand that each of us
would like to talk to you but, like all organizations, we must serve all
the people all the time. That is
one of the reasons that we prepare tapes and publications to help you. We
try to be as personal as
possible while at the same time using our time most efficiently.

That is why we are not always able to take your individual calls, but we do
invite your letters. Here
again it is not physically possible to personally answer every letter, but
we will do our best to help
our members and often members' letters are answered personally.

We are your fathers' organization. Don't you think it is about time that
fathers have a strong
organization to help them.

Don't you think it is about time that fathers have the vital information
that they need available to them
and don't you think that you deserve to be part of our organization and
movement that is making the
system SAFE for fathers and the children who they love.

I couldn't agree with you more and that is why I have dedicated my life to
this vitally important
work. We as an organization need to do battle with the system and to emerge
victorious.

But first, if we are to represent our interest and gain our rights we must
understand many of the
components of the system.

Today, my friend, we live in a society that is dominated by radical
feminist thinking.

Now please understand when I say radical feminist I don't mean those who
believe in equal rights
for women, Lord knows I believe that women should have equal rights. SAFE
believes that women
should have equal rights. In fact one in five of our members is a women,
often a second wife or a
grandmother, who believes that women should have equal rights.

When we speak of radical feminist we mean the minority of politically
active feminist who attack
both the family and the important role of fathers.

You know the type. The ones who think that the only function a father
should have is to pay bills.
The ones who are quick to advance the rights of gays and lesbians while
forgetting that this great
nation was built by families, not gays and lesbians.

The ones who believe in fact that women are victims and men are
perpetrators. Now less face the
facts.

The vast majority of women in America do not support these radical
feminist, but the fact is that
these radicals have become the tail that is wagging the dog in our society.

They have dominated the media. Every day we see story after story of how
women are victimized
by men. If the truth be known these radical feminist do not all believe
that men and women should
be equal but rather they believe that women are indeed superior to men and
should by virtue of their
superiority be treated specially under the law.

Now if you think about it, this is a profound anti-children statement.

Since our children come in both sexes those who advocate for the
superiority of women are
condemning every other American child to second class citizenship.

Face the facts.

The stock and trade of the radical feminist is the marketing of the patent
nonsense. Yet our
legislative bodies, including the congress, has become bully puppets for
this collection of side shows
collectively known as the radical feminist movement.

Any father who has been to court for a domestic matter is aware of the fact
that courts follow the
lead of legislatures, and they treat fathers like second class citizens.

The legal profession in America has become thoroughly feminized. The worst
offenders among
lawyers and judges are men who, by virtue of their legal education, have
been led to believe that
father bashing is a sign of intellectual sophistication.

The plain truth is that matrimonial law in America has become a cesspool of
a moral profiteering
with the largest lumps floating to the top and being called your honor.

Another part of the system is the mental health professions. Now I take
pride in reporting to you
that the vast majority of mental health professionals practicing in the
domestic court systems are
nothing less than feminized underlings of lawyers and judges unable to
withstand the weight of their
own office.

Judges allow so called mental health professionals to make their decisions
for them.

Trial by therapists is not provided by the Unites States Constitution.

I say it is time for a change and that is why SAFE exists and that is why,
with our help, you will be in
a better position to advocate for yourself and your family through SAFE
means.

Further I am going to outline for you the specific steps that you will need
to take to put yourself in
the best possible position to gain your rights. But first I want you to ask
yourself a few questions.

I want you to consider your current situation. Do you feel that you have
been treated fairly by the
system thus far?

Do you feel that your lawyers have provided you with the best possible
advocacy, with the
best possible information?
Do you feel they have put you in the best possible position to gain
your rights?
Do you feel that the courts have treated you fairly?
Do you feel that you deserve an organization to be at your side
providing you with accurate
information and helpful insights?
Do you feel that fathers, like any other group in America, deserve to
have their rights
explained and enforced?

Are you willing to learn how to realize your rights and support your
organization so that it educates
you?

Of course you do and that is why I am going to explain to you the TWO most
fundamentally
important things that you must do to make the system SAFE for you and for
your children.

First you must learn the basic principles that have gained rights for
fathers from coast to coast and
second you must learn how to get SAFE, the fathers's organization, on your
side. So if you are
ready to change the system to serve you, (please turn this tape over now)
then continue to listen.

How can one make the system safe?
How can you use the system to your advantage to have the court fairly
hear your case, to
preserve your rights as both as a father and as an American.
How can it be done? Our experience has shown that while each case is
different there seems
to be a number of factors that we find in cases in which fathers are
able to realize their rights.

Obviously the system needs to be changed, and we believe in time it will be
changed. But frankly,
fathers from coast to coast are not willing or able to wait as long as that
may take.

Their children are growing up and they do not have the years that changing
the system is likely to
take. That is why for millions of fathers who have fallen victim to the
system, those who have
prevailed, have had certain factors on their side.

They have learned with our help what will maximize their odd of prevailing.

They have learned to look at their dispute as a war.

To look at the court house as a battle field and to understand that this is
most vicious, legal,
economic, and emotional war they are likely to ever fight.

Above all they realize that the stakes are as high as they get.

What is more important than the life of your child?

They also realize that if they fail to gain victory for themselves and
their children, a vindictive mother
with the worst of motivations will rule and likely ruin the life of those
innocent children.

Now for those of us who have served in the military it is easy to see that
this war being fought in our
own country, in our own homes, indeed in our own hearts must be taken
seriously and must be
fought with a calculated dedication with the highest principles that have
made this great country and
has made each of us willing to go the distance and made us worthy of the
name - American.

The first principle is: Knowledge is power.

In order to do battle successfully you need the best possible intelligence.

You need to understand the system.

You need to understand the facts such as the law, the procedures, the
general outcomes, and the
process.

You need to understand the players, the courts, the lawyers, the mental
health workers, the
bureaucrats.

In short you need to be educated.

We have found that if there is one factor that separates the winners from
the losers among divorced
fathers it is that the winners have taken the time to educate themselves.

By contrast, the losers hire a lawyer and go to sleep. When they wakeup
they often find that they
have lost their children, their home, most of their income, and are up to
their ears in legal fees.

Understand this principle well. The battle for the rights of fathers is not
fought with guns and bombs
but with words and ideas. Your knowledge is the basic ammunition that will
determine your ability
to understand, analyze, and make the decisions that will ultimately lead to
victory.

No one can do this for you.

You either will understand and act on the fact that knowledge is power or
you will remain weak and
ineffective. The choice is yours.

The next important principle is: Creating a balance of power.

Let us look at the typical domestic case to understand this principle.

Typically most if not all of the power lies with the mother who adopts an
advisarial role with the
father. Generally the father is forced to pay both lawyers. The court has a
propensity to see things
from the point of view of the mother.

The mother portrays herself as a victim.

The father's lawyer does not advocate for the father vigorously.

The law views the mothers as the victim. The mother is generally able to
withhold access to the
children in order to bring pressure to bare, and the father is almost
always on the defensive.

Now, in the ideal situation a divorced mother and father would
cooperatively parent. They would
share both the rights and the responsibilities for the children. They would
share time with the
children. They would recognize while that they have failed at marriage it
is possible, and in the
children's best interest, to succeed as parents. They would learn to
resolve their differences between
themselves. Use lawyers to understand the law and their rights and only as
a last resort in a court
room.

In order for the ideal situation to exist there must be a balance of power.

If the mother has everything on her side the only reason to act in a
reasonable way is because she is
a reasonable person.

If she were a reasonable person in the first place and you were also a
reasonable person you would
not have the problems you have and thus you probably would not be listening
to this discussion.

What we generally have then, is an unreasonable vindictive mother using the
system to place all the
power on her side thus leaving the father in a relatively powerless
position wherein he is constantly
on the defensive.

There are two areas that fathers must balance the power in if they are to
succeed:

In the legal area and in the emotional area.

Legally the average father is in a lose - lose situation.

Often he is paying both sides legal fees.

In the alternative, fathers often find themselves in the situation in which
they are soon priced right out
of the market.

Generally all the mother needs to do is to keep enough issues before the
court or litigate long
enough for the father to run out of legal fees.

It is a sad fact in America today that a common criminal cannot be put in
jail without being provided
without an attorney while a loving father can lose his children, his home,
and his income without an
attorney.

In a very real sense criminals have more rights in America than fathers do.

So what is a father to do?

What is a father to do when a mother keeps breaking court orders and the
father does not have the
money to keep hiring a lawyer to bring the matter to the court? What is a
father to do when he runs
out of money before the judge runs out of patience?

There are but two choices: The father can belly up and agree to something
that he does not wish to
agree to, or he can represent himself. I can hear you. But I'm not a
lawyer. I can't represent myself.

The fact is that every court in America is required to hear cases in which
fathers represent
themselves.

Fathers who represent themselves can be at a disadvantage.

Generally they are, but there are some cases in which fathers who represent
themselves have
advantages. Moreover, consider this. If a father is unable to even ask for
his rights by virtue of his
inability to hire a lawyer, what disadvantage is there in asking for his
rights by representing himself.

What does he have to lose? A litigant who represents himself is known as a
PRO-SE litigant.
Fathers bringing cases PRO-SE today are on the increase.

Today, fathers unable to pay legal anymore legal fees are turning to SAFE
for the information and
knowledge that enables them to represent themselves.

If you put on your case pro-se SAFE will not be representing you or giving
you legal advise, but we
are able to educate you, give you information, and show you how other
fathers have represented
themselves.

For example, one father after bringing a number of civil rights suits was
able to sit down with the
judge in chambers and negotiate the access to his child that he was denied.

Another father was able to completely stop his wife's petition for divorce
and prevent the court from
using any support orders of any kind against him.

Every day fathers are achieving justice, PRO-SE.

Face the facts my friend. Lawyers are often part of the system that is
oppressing fathers. We are all
familiar with the chamber deals. Where in your attorney walks into the
judge's chambers with the
other side and walks out to tell you that you must settle for this or that.

Other lawyers tell fathers that if they don't do such and such they no
longer will be represented.

Perhaps the greatest advantage in representing oneself is that the
vindictive mother in no longer in a
win, win situation.

No longer can she wear the father out by pricing him out of the court
because of legal fees. No
longer is she likely to gain her own legal fees when the father is
obviously not able to pay his own.

The more the vindictive mother insists upon litigating the more SHE spends
on legal fees while the
father has no legal bills.

To be sure PRO-SE representation is not for every father but through SAFE
more fathers every
day are gaining the information and research that they need to have PRO-SE
representation as an
option. As you learn more about SAFE, you will learn how it is also
possible for you to balance the
power by representing yourself.

Equally important to fathers is the ability to balance the power on the
emotional side of the battle. I
know as well as anyone in America the great pain that fathers go through as
a result of being
estranged from their children by a vindictive mother.

It is a fact of life in America that often these mothers are able to keep
the children from fathers often
in defiance of court orders. If you are going to win the war you must face
this emotional battle
squarely and adhere to the principles of emotional war.

First of all, it is a basic law of psychology that behavior that is
rewarded is increasing in frequency.

That is to say if a vindictive mother gains what she wants by holding the
children hostage she will
come to view this as a valuable tool in a strategic war.

It is here that fathers must hang tough.

Modern political history teaches us that there is no utility in negotiating
or otherwise giving into
hostage takers.

The vindictive mother who holds a child hostage has joined the ranks with
the earths lowest reptile.
If you make deals with the hostage taking mother you are creating a
monster.

As I have said, I know as well as anyone the pain involved in being
separated from one's children.
Sadly, I also know that this is an occasion that calls for strong emotion
on the part of fathers.

If you intend to be successful and combatting the vindictive mother, you
must resist every
tempatation to give into your feelings and cling tightly to your
principles.

Winners do not negotiate with hostage takers.

Not comprising one's principles is difficult but absolutely necessary. In
many cases mothers allege
that fathers are in someway a danger to the children. Sometimes they make
false child abuse
allegations, and then they insist or the court insists on supervised
visitation.

For innocent fathers who go along with this game, our experience shows, the
writing is on the wall.
In time they will become totally estranged from their children.

Consider this. A father who submits to supervised visitation is admitting
by his actions that perhaps
he is a danger to his child. Frankly, if I owned a dog who had to be
supervised around my children
I'd take him out back and shoot him.

If you are innocent act as if you are innocent and do not give your
accusers an inch of ground.
Moreover, what does a child learn as a result of having to be supervised
when near her dad.

It is never easy to retain your principles under fire but as soon as we
compromise our principles we
also compromise our rights, and, finally, fathers who succeed in our
experience are fathers who are
able to see the big picture and maintain the staying the power necessary
for victory.

There are no quick fixes in fathers advocacy. Lawyers offering quick fixes
are often offering a way
for you to be quickly relieved of your hard earned money.

If you are going to succeed it is going to be because you have educated
yourself, decided that you
are not going to compromise your principles, and dedicated yourself to
gaining your rights and
justice in the long run.

The run may be quite long.

It will not be easy but with SAFE, on you side it will be possible.

We are proud to tell you that every day fathers and children who they love
are gaining justice but,
frankly, not every father can be helped by SAFE.

It takes a certain kind of man to be able to get SAFE on his side. Your
ability to be helped by
SAFE is completely dependent upon yourself. It is your choice.

Having traveled this great nation extensivly, having talked to more fathers
in America that have had
their dreams and theirs civil rights trampled than anyone else in America,
I have observed something
I feel compelled to share with you.

The psychological, emotional, and economic war that has been waged against
divorced fathers in
America has brought out both the best and the worst that American
fatherhood has to offer.

Some fathers devastated by what has happened to them have turned into what
I call the whining
wimps.

Now please pardon my frankness but, while as a father and a human being, I
truly understand these
devastated dads. They remain nonetheless whining wimps who are more
interested in the world
feeling sorry for them than in causing the enemy to feel sorry for her sick
and simple ways.

As I have said earlier - fathers - fundamentally - are facing a war in
which their civil rights and the
rights of their children are at stake.

In the best case the old poor me attitude will gain sympathy but never
justice.

My friend, freedom is not free in America and it never was.

Freedom is paid for by the blood of American patriots of each generation.
Those not willing to pay
the price will always be at the mercy of those who are.

That brings me to the fathers that it has been my sincere pleasure to meet
and speak to.

Those for whom the emotional, economic, and psychological pain of domestic
battle has inspired
courage in the finest American tradition.

Let's face the music my friend. There is nothing more worthy of our finest
efforts, our most valiant
battle efforts than the well being of our innocent children.

For those who are willing to belly up or coward under pressure the
oppression experienced by
divorced fathers is nothing less than a battle cry for the true American
patriots.

No one in American understands more the pain, the fear, and the uncertainty
that you face at this
moment. This is why I have founded an organization to help you. This is why
I have dedicated my
life to our cause, and this is why I am leading you to the moment of truth
that may mark the
beginning of the long struggle leading to victory for you and the children
you love and defeat for
those who would not respect a father's rights.

This is why we have struggled all these years.

Today you have an opportunity to support an organization that supports you.
You have an
opportunity to receive the information that you need, to learn from our
tapes, to read our
publications, to have your cases assessed by our executive panel. To be on
the cutting edge of
advocacy for fathers, or - you can turn the other way.

You can belly up. You can throw in the towel.

My friend, I believe as long as one child does not have a right to a
relationship with its father then no
child has such a right.

I believe that your rights are as important as anyone else's. I believe
that the blood of America's
patriots was shed as much for you and your children as for anyone anywhere
at any time.

I believe in you but no amount of belief will change a single blade of
grass.

It takes action and today it takes your action.
It takes your resolve.
It takes you to say I'm tired and I'm not going to take it anymore.
It takes you to join our ranks.

You can have SAFE on your side.

You can have the best possible information.

You can have the power that can be gained through knowledge.

You, too, can be a winner.

You have everything at your fingertips.

All it takes is for you to write - we'll take care of the rest.

Why not act?

Isn't it time that fathers receive a safe deal?

I would like to thank you for reading my comments and for joining our
ranks. I know you will
enjoy our next discussion because it is on a topic that concerns us
all as divorced fathers.

May God bless you and your entire family for your dedicated concern
and support of our
cause.
--
http://www.cet.com/~charlyw/vietnam/index.htm
http://www.cet.com/~charlyw/fathers.htm
swam...@XcetX.com to respond remove the X's from the address