Need Advice Please

[James F. Johnson]

*Note: Someone flooded my news server so I am forwarding this to the
newsgroup through a friend (those psychic networks do it every weekend!)

Subject:
Need Advice please
Date:
Sun, 29 Jun 1997 07:22:20 GMT
From:
ka...@uab.edu (karen harper)
Organization:
Department of Anthropology, University of Alabama at
Birmingham
To:
john...@wwisp.com
Newsgroups:
alt.dads-rights

My friend is going through a divorce from his wife who lives in
Pennsylvania where they both lived as a married couple. He is now
living in Alabama and sharing my home.

His wife has told him blatantly that her only concern is to seek
vengeance against him for "ruining her life". I won't go into the
details of why he decided to divorce her unless it turns out to be
relevant to the problem at hand.

Being physically distanced from the situation is not an advantage for
him and his wife has taken extraordinary steps to prevent him from
seeing his eight year old daughter. He has always had a loving and
nurturing relationship with his daughter but his wife has gone to
incredible and unbelievable lengths to prevent his having visitation
with his daughter while she (the wife) makes every effort that she can
to make the divorce process more painful and last longer.

As a divorced parent myself, I can honestly say with conviction that I
believe that every child has a right to two loving parents and what my
friends wife is doing in her attempt to seek revenge is punish not
only her husband but their daughter as well.

The wife has taken the child to see a psychologist and convinced her
daughter that she has some sort of anxiety (panic) disorder. This has
helped the wife prevent the husband from seeing his daughter (as if
the onset of the divorce has caused the daughter to become an
emotional and anxiety ridden invalid).

He was "allowed" to visit with his daughter for an hour or two one day
while in PA for a CS hearing (he had offered to pay her more than the
court demanded he pay so it is not as if he is being irresponsible,
etc.). His daughter was happy to see him and they both enjoyed the
visit very much. She seemed shocked to find out that he had missed
her very much.

The daughter has always been home schooled by her mother but her
mother told her that she would continue her home schooling when all of
this (the divorce) is over. Unfortunately, this has been going on for
six months at least so the child is not even receiving an education.

Without a lump payment to his lawyer who has so far worked on his
behalf without payment (he thought it would be a simple divorce
settlement in the beginning as neither client has many assets), his
lawyer cannot proceed to try to seek custody or even battle for
temporary legal visitation. My friend has very little he can pay his
lawyer as his wife took possession of almost the entire stock of their
antique book inventory while he is working hour after hour to start
anew while paying CS, insurance for wife and child and of course his
own living expenses (he had to forego his own medical insurance). His
wife ran up the bill on their credit card to an exorbitant amount that
he is having to pay off of course. Naturally, my friend feels
hopeless, trapped and without recourse. He is not even seeking full
custody of his child, but would like to have some sort of legal
recompense to visit with his child on a regular basis. She needs him.

Any reasonable suggestions (practical, please!)?
The bottom line is that his wife is emotionally unbalanced, he has no
money and is in great debt because of her (she planned it and has
gotten away with it) and he wants to visit his daughter on a regular
basis.

Thanks for any help.

Sincerely,

Karen

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