twisted kid songs
thomas conroy
Who remembers some kids songs, the kinds you'd sing to amuse yourself and/or
your friends - they seemed to be the height of wit when you were between the
ages of 8 and 11.
For example:
(sung to the Batman theme song)
Batman, swinging on a rubber band
Along comes Superman
And kicked him in the garbage can
Batman!
or,
Leprosy, It's crawling all over me
There goes my eyeball, into your highball
There goes my ear dear, into your beer, dear
and a later, raunchier one (learned sophmore year of HS)
(sung to the tune of Mammy's little baby loves shortnin bread)
You god damned mother fuckin two ball bitch
Your mother's in the bedroom, scratchin that itch
Your brother's in jail, tryin to raise bail
And your sister's on the corner, singing pussy for sale
(sorry if I offended anyone)
Others?
Charles Hobbs
thomas conroy wrote:
>
> Who remembers some kids songs, the kinds you'd sing to amuse yourself and/or
> your friends - they seemed to be the height of wit when you were between the
> ages of 8 and 11.
>
> For example:
> (sung to the Batman theme song)
>
> Batman, swinging on a rubber band
> Along comes Superman
> And kicked him in the garbage can
> Batman!
>
We had one like this:
"Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg . . .
The Batmobile
Has lost its wheel
and the Joker got away, ay!"
And another one about a bee . .. .
"I'm picking up a baby bumble bee
Won't my mommy be so proud of me
I'm picking up a baby bumble bee.
Oops, OW! It STUNG me!
I'm squshing up a baby bumble bee
Won't my mommy be so proud of me
I'm squishing up a baby bumble bee.
Ewwww, whatta mess!
I'm licking up a baby bumble bee
Won't my mommy be so proud of me
I'm licking up a baby bumble bee.
Ewwww, YUCK!
I'm barfing up a baby bumble bee
Won't my mommy be so proud of me
I'm barfing up a baby bumble bee.
Oooh, look! ANOTHER baby bumble bee"
(That song was sung to a particular tune, the
name of which escapes me")
> and a later, raunchier one (learned sophmore year of HS)
> (sung to the tune of Mammy's little baby loves shortnin bread)
[deleted. . .this one was way to raunchy to include]
In certain neighborhoods, there were a number of songs like this.
In fact, most of them were a part of a ghetto game called "the
dozens" . . .kids would insult each other with these jokes and
songs (usually, loaded with four letter words and uncomplimentary
references to family members). The participant who reacted angrily
at any joke, lost the game.
illuminada
How 'bout--
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I overlooked before
One leg is missing
The other is gone
The third one is scattered all over the lawn
No use complaining
The one remaining
Is over the garden wall.
Oops. Can't remember the original. ;-)
--
_
tracy k.
_
illum...@usa.pipeline.com
_
"It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself
back"---Mick Jagger
_
Marlene Blanshay
How could anyone forget this one?
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat
amputated horses feet
all these things are very very good to eat
but I forgot my spoon!
But there were straws, but there were straws, but there were straws,
but there were straws, straws straws straws straws straws.....
Mary Ann Stricker
Two more...
Glory, Glory Halleluiah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
Sat behind the door with a loaded .44
and she ain't my teacher anymore anymore!
Chicken bones are different
they're a different kind of candy
they're crunchy and they're munchy
and they're taste is kinda queer
CSTR...@kentvm.kent.edu
There's one that we sang to the "Popeye" song.
I'm Popeye, the sailor man. Toot. Toot.
I live in a frying pan. Toot. Toot.
Just turn on the gas.
And blow off my ass.
Says Popeye, the sailor man.
Christine
P.S. We used to sing twisted Christmas songs too.
djd
In <31D7F2...@vir.com> Marlene Blanshay <blan...@vir.com> writes:
>
>How could anyone forget this one?
>
>Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
>mutilated monkey meat
>amputated horses feet
>all these things are very very good to eat
>but I forgot my spoon!
>But there were straws, but there were straws, but there were straws,
>but there were straws, straws straws straws straws straws.....
Everybody's doin' it, doin' it, doin' it,
Pickin' thier nose and chewin' it, chewin' it.
They think it's candy but it's not,
It's a hot-snot sandwich with a booger on top!!
Acquaneta
We usta sing (to the tune of Frere Jaques)
Marijuana, Marijuana
LSD, LSD
Dr. Nelson * makes it
All the teachers take it
Why can't we ? Why can't we?
* Dr. N was our principal.
thomas conroy
I thought of another
Everybody's doing it, doing it, doing it
They're picking their nose
and they're chewing it, chewing it
They think it's candy but it's really not
All it is is a great big snot
(then repeat)
Tom
Burtons
In article <4r68of$d...@news.bu.edu>, con...@bu.edu (thomas conroy) wrote:
>Who remembers some kids songs, the kinds you'd sing to amuse yourself and/or
>your friends - they seemed to be the height of wit when you were between the
>ages of 8 and 11.
>
>For example:
>(sung to the Batman theme song)
>
>Batman, swinging on a rubber band
>Along comes Superman
>And kicked him in the garbage can
>Batman!
>
>
>Leprosy, It's crawling all over me
>There goes my eyeball, into your highball
>There goes my ear dear, into your beer, dear
>
>
>(sung to the tune of Mammy's little baby loves shortnin bread)
>
>Your mother's in the bedroom, scratchin that itch
>Your brother's in jail, tryin to raise bail
>And your sister's on the corner, singing pussy for sale
>
>(sorry if I offended anyone)
>
>Others?
>
>
It makes your mouth turn green
Comet
It tastes like gasoline
Comet
It makes you vomit
So try some comet and vomit today
kar...@infi.net
con...@bu.edu (thomas conroy) wrote:
>Who remembers some kids songs, the kinds you'd sing to amuse yourself and/or
>your friends - they seemed to be the height of wit when you were between the
>ages of 8 and 11.
<snip>
>Others?
>
(apologize in advance for the non-PC lines in this one, we were kids,
and we didn't make it up. Someone (older siblings?) handed it down to
us.)
For my brother and I, who were not allowed to even say "fart", this
one was quite thrilling. We used to sing the "ASK" really loud.
<chanted>
All the boys in france do the hootchie-kootchie dance
and the dance they do is enough to kill a Jew
and the Jew they kill is enough to fry a snake
and the snake they fry is enough to tell a lie
and the lie they tell is enough to go to
<sung>
Hello operator give me number nine, if you disconnect me, i'll kick
you in the
behind the 'frigerator there is a piece of glass in you sit upon it,
it'll go right up your
ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more lies, the boys are in
the bathroom pulling down their
flies are in the buttermilk . . ..
(what is the rest of it? that is all I can remember.)
Jingle bells, cockle shells Santa Claus is dead
Rudolph took a 22 and shot him in the head
Karen
http://users.aol.com/mindfire/mindfire.html
ljwe...@pipeline.com
In article <4r9ou8$k...@nw101.infi.net>, kar...@infi.net writes:
>Hello operator give me number nine, if you disconnect me, i'll kick
>you in the
>behind the 'frigerator there is a piece of glass in you sit upon it,
>it'll go right up your
>ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more lies, the boys are in
>the bathroom pulling down their
>flies are in the buttermilk . . ..
>
>(what is the rest of it? that is all I can remember.)
>
Hello operator, give me number nine, if you disconnect me, I'll chop off
your--
behind the 'frigerator, there is a piece of glass, and if you sit upon it,
I'll shove it up your--
ask me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies, the boys are in the
bathroom,
pulling down their--
flies are in the country, bees are in the park, the boys and girls are
kissing in the D-A-R-K,
D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, DARK
CSTR...@kentvm.kent.edu
How about this one?
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
Throw your teacher overboard
And listen to her scream.
Christine
Mary Jane Zajac
In article <31D7F2...@vir.com> Marlene Blanshay <blan...@vir.com> writes:
>How could anyone forget this one?
>
>Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
>mutilated monkey meat
>amputated horses feet
>all these things are very very good to eat
>but I forgot my spoon!
>But there were straws, but there were straws, but there were straws,
>but there were straws, straws straws straws straws straws.....
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat
little birdies' smelly feet
all wrapped up in all purpose porpoise puss
gee I forgot my spoon!
Scab sandwich, puss on top
Monkey vomit, camel snots
smelly birdy, snot rag stew
yummy yummy, good for you!
Tee
The worms crawl in,
The worms crawl out,
Through your stomach,
And out your mouth...
Tee
Marlene Blanshay
> Two more...
>
> Glory, Glory Halleluiah
> Teacher hit me with a ruler
> Sat behind the door with a loaded .44
> and she ain't my teacher anymore anymore!
>
> Chicken bones are different
> they're a different kind of candy
> they're crunchy and they're munchy
> and they're taste is kinda queer
And that reminded me....
Glory glory for the burning of the school
we have tortured all the teachers and
we've broken every rule
We have massacred the principal
and Barbecued the books
the School is Burning Down!
Marlene Blanshay
> We used to sing:
> Hello operator, give me number nine, if you disconnect me, I'll chop off
> your--
> behind the 'frigerator, there is a piece of glass, and if you sit upon it,
> I'll shove it up your--
> ask me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies, the boys are in the
> bathroom,
> pulling down their--
> flies are in the country, bees are in the park, the boys and girls are
> kissing in the D-A-R-K,
> D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, DARK
>
I remember it going....
Lulu had a steamboat
the steamboat had a bell
lulu went to heaven the steamboat went to
Hello operator give me umber nine
if you disconnect me, I'll kick you in the
Behind the frigidaire
there's a piece of glass, Lulu went to pick it up
and fell upon her..
Ask me no questions tell me no lies,
Lulu told me everything just before she died.
Lulu had two boyfriends, both were very rich
One was the son of banker one was a sonof a-
Beech nut chewing gum chew it all the time
Beech nut chewing gum, only costs a dime.
Brian
What's scary is that I'm now a teacher, not far from the Chicago
neighborhood I grew up in, and the kids still sing those and all the
other ones: "Jingle Bells, Batman smells/Robin laid an egg..." The funny
thing is that they think it's new.
Brian
********************************************************************
"A revolution is not a tea party."
Mao Tse-Tung
The "Chez Guevara" Cyber-Cafe
http://www.tezcat.com/~juanyen/chezguev.html
Robert J. Cooper, III
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
Remember Mrs. Denman (*substitute your worst teacher here) and her strict and
Golden Rule,
(I forget the next two lines. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?)
Glory, Glory, Hallelujah.
Teacher hit me with a ruler
And teacher don't teach no more
And for McDonald's...
McDonald's is your kind of place
Hamburgers in your face
Pickles between your toes
French fries right up your nose
And don't forget those triple-thick shakes
Made out of polluted lakes
McDonald's is your kind of place
Camp songs were big...my summer camp song had two versions.
Approved Version:
I wanna wake up, in the morning, at dear old Camp St. Croix
Where the sun comes peepin' into where I'm sleepin' and the songbirds sing for
joy,
I wanna wander, over the hillside, where the wildflowers grow
I wanna be at Camp St. Croix.
It's the grandest camp I know.
Kids' Version:
I wanna sleep late, in the morning, at dear old Camp St. Croix
Where the rain comes pourin' into where I'm snorin' and the skeeters bite for
joy,
I wanna wander, over the hillside, where the poison ivy grows
I wanna be at Camp St. Croix.
It's the grandest camp I know.
The Simpsons episode where Bart and Lisa were at Camp Krusty was great--they
sang their own version of my camp song. Their camp was on the shores of "Big
Snake Lake."
--Gael in Minneapolis
Mike Theriault
How about this one ?
Glory, glory alleuija.
Teacher hit me with a ruler.
I hid behind the door
with a loaded 44,
and she didn't bother me anymore.
Mike
Charles Hobbs
CSTR...@kentvm.kent.edu wrote:
>
> How about this one?
>
> Row, row, row your boat
> Gently down the stream.
> Throw your teacher overboard
> And listen to her scream.
>
> Christine
>
Twist it at the ends
Take a toke, take a toke, take a toke, take a toke
Pass it to your friends
Charles Hobbs
They eat your guts
Then they s{p,h}it them out . ..
Charles Hobbs
kar...@infi.net wrote:
> For my brother and I, who were not allowed to even say "fart", this
> one was quite thrilling. We used to sing the "ASK" really loud.
>
1st-4th grade, I went to a school where telling someone to "shut up"
would earn you a swat, and saying "Butt" (as in, I'm going to
kick your . . . ) could get you suspended.
Dixon Hayes
Marlene Blanshay wrote:
>
> Lulu had a steamboat
> the steamboat had a bell
> lulu went to heaven the steamboat went to
> Hello operator give me umber nine
> if you disconnect me, I'll kick you in the
(snip) (ouch!)
"Lulu" was a popular name in songs like these for some reason. Anyone
remember this one, to the tune of "Snoopy and the Red Baron"?
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more,
Lulu let a big one in the grocery store.
Thirty men died trying to hold their breaths,
Lulu let another one and wiped out the rest.
Dixon
Dixon Hayes
Tee wrote:
>
> The worms crawl in,
> The worms crawl out,
> Through your stomach,
> And out your mouth...
Usually sung to the poor soul who brought Spaghetti-O's in his
Thermos that day...
Dixon
Marlene Blanshay
Bravo TV here in Canada occasionally shows some really bad movies
from the 1970s, since this is an arts and entertainment channel,
they show anything that has music in it.
last night, I finally got to see one of the worst of its ilk: Sgt
Peppers Lonely hearts club Band. I had heard legends abouat how bad
this movie was. At its premier, a friend of mine had free tickets
and left about 45 minutes in. I've never seen it before and never
knew it to be on video so I had to watch.
I managed to watch it to about half an hour fromthe end. I have to
say, it was as bad as a movie can get. Then we spent about an hour
deconstructing it. Has anyone ever actually seen this film? I
remember when it came out, it lasted about three days at the box
office.
There was one good performance, Aerosmith doing COME TOGETHER. Aside
from that.....
Marlene Blanshay
> > Christine
> >
> Roll, roll, roll your joint
> Twist it at the ends
> Take a toke, take a toke, take a toke, take a toke
> Pass it to your friends
Our version was:
Roll roll roll the joint
pass it down the line
take a toke and hold your smoke
and blow your ****ing mind
Dave Ranson
Marlene Blanshay wrote:
>
> last night, I finally got to see one of the worst of its ilk: Sgt
> Peppers Lonely hearts club Band. I had heard legends abouat how bad
And last week, Bravo showed "Can't Stop the Music." Must be a Bad
Musical Movie of the Week fest.
> Has anyone ever actually seen this film? I remember when it came out,
> it lasted about three days at the box office.
I remember going to see it. It was pretty lame, and there wasn't much of
a plot, although you have to hand it to the producers for trying to make
one out of what they had.
Whatever happened to Sandy Farina, who played Strawberry Fields? Haven't
heard of her since.
> There was one good performance, Aerosmith doing COME TOGETHER. Aside
> from that.....
Earth, Wind, and Fire weren't bad either.
D.
L. Sutton
OK- Ive missed most of this thread-so forgive me if this has been posted
already:
Im Chaquita Banana and Im here to say
get rid of your teacher the easy way
Just throw a banana peel on the floor
And Watch her slide Out the door!
You know the melody
mik...@ix.netcom.com
ahh yes, Sgt. Peppers....that was a really bad movie. I remember my
best friend and i going to see it when it was out at the theaters, we
were quite young (2nd and 3rd grades) and were BIG beatles fans. i
must say i dont remember too much of the plot, but i do remember it
was Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees along with Steve Martin as Dr.
Maxwell i have a vague recollection of George Burns being in it to but
i am not too sure.
mike :)
MJeCo
Hope no one else has already posted this - my best buddy Mike Juarez
taught it to me in the 3rd grade -
(To the tune of the theme song from Chuck Connor's "Branded" TV show:)
Stranded!
Stranded on the toilet bowl
What do you do when you're stranded -
And there's none on the roll?
To prove you're a man
You must wipe with your hand
To prove - - You're a man!
Mike Conrad (mj...@aol.com)
L. Sutton
Oh Yeah- and who could forget the classic
"Its about time
Its abot space
its about time
To slap your face"
L. Sutton
I was in High school at the time and I remember the HUGE hype attached to
SGT PEPPER-
There was an enournous search for a "fresh face" to play the role of
"Strawberry Fields". All I remember is thinking the starlet they chose
couldnt sing. The Bee Gees & Frampton were suffering MAJOR over-exposure
by the time the flick came out and NOONE wanted to see George Burns as Mr.
Kite (just post "Oh God").
I remember reading an article in Rolling stone months before it came out,
and being very anxious to see it, but by the time it came out, nobody
cared. My sister went to see Beatlemania instead, I stayed home.
Terri A Novak
On 3 Jul 1996, Tee wrote:
> The worms crawl in,
> The worms crawl out,
> Through your stomach,
> And out your mouth...
>
> Tee
>
The worms crawl in
the worms crawl out
the worms play pinochle in your mouth.
Your body turns to a moldy green
and pours right out like whipping cream!>
Marlene Blanshay
>
> And last week, Bravo showed "Can't Stop the Music." Must be a Bad
> Musical Movie of the Week fest.
>
> a plot, although you have to hand it to the producers for trying to make
> one out of what they had.
>
> Whatever happened to Sandy Farina, who played Strawberry Fields? Haven't
> heard of her since.
I actually looked up some of the names. Sandy Farina (nee feldman)
does not seem to have ver appeared anywhere else in films. Dianne
Steinberg, who played Lucy, actually had an album. Her voice wasn't
actually pretty good, but I suspect Sandy Farina was dubbed. She
looked too bland to sing.
> > There was one good performance, Aerosmith doing COME TOGETHER. Aside
> > from that.....
>
> Earth, Wind, and Fire weren't bad either.
>
It was a shame what they did with what were some of he beatles best
songs. It really showed how covering a song without any of the
context and trying to make it squeaky clean can totally destroy it.
The best thing we can say about that film is that there was no
dialogue between the characters.
SunnyDeb
How about this...
My mommy lies over the ocean.
My mommy lies over the sea.
My daddy lies over my mommy
And that's how they created me.
Deb
Dave Ranson
Marlene Blanshay wrote:
>
> ...but I suspect Sandy Farina was dubbed. She looked too bland to sing.
Yes, that's the impression I got too.
> It was a shame what they did with what were some of he beatles best
> songs. It really showed how covering a song without any of the
> context and trying to make it squeaky clean can totally destroy it.
That's what the problem was, I think--that they took the Beatles' songs
out of context. At least the contexts we imagined or knew (one must
remember that the movie came out before the John Lennon Playboy
interviews that explained a lot about the songs).
D.
ian fellows
sunn...@aol.com (SunnyDeb) wrote:
>How about this...
>
Sung to the tune of Downtown
When your feeling kind of sleepy and ya have to go peepee
there's a place to go,
Kybo
When your feeling kind of droopy and you have to go poopy
there's a place to go,
Kybo
Oh listen to the froggies singing in the toilet
if you are retarded you will probably enjjoy it
Kybo
Sun to the tune of the Beveryly hillbillies
Oh listen to my story about man name jed
who was a little bit sick in the head
went out one day looken for some food
up popped up a red headed nude
Well the first thing you know ole jed's in bed
fucken the hell out of that red head
in comes granyy with a great big stick
wacks the hell out of poor jed's dick
black and blue
bumpy all over
sambrat
"From the shores of Montezuma
to the shores of the PTA
We will fight our teachers' battles
With spitballs and with clay
We will fight for more recess
And to keep our desk a mess..."
When I write this now, I realize we had no idea whatsoever what we were
singing about!
Perry and Lauri
>I managed to watch it to about half an hour fromthe end. I have to
>say, it was as bad as a movie can get. Then we spent about an hour
>office.
>There was one good performance, Aerosmith doing COME TOGETHER. Aside
>from that.....
I personally liked Steve Martin singing Maxwell's Silver Hammer. That
just cracks me up! Oh, oh, oh, oh
Lauri
Terri A Novak
On Wed, 10 Jul 1996, Lauri wrote:
> : Sgt
> >Peppers Lonely hearts club Band.
> I personally liked Steve Martin singing Maxwell's Silver Hammer. That
> just cracks me up! Oh, oh, oh, oh
> Lauri
Being a huge Alice Cooper fan, I thought his performance of "Because the
Sun" was and still is great!!!!!! And Barry Gibb was pretty hot!!!
CLock7193
Our version of the "great green globs" song was this:
Great green globs of greasy grime gopher guts
Marinated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeets
French fried eyeballs rolling down the city street
and I forgot my spoon....but I have a straawwww.
I still find myself singing that one on occasion.
---Catherine
kar...@infi.net
cloc...@aol.com (CLock7193) wrote:
Our version... sung on Girl Scout hikes... was:
10 more miles of
greasy grimy gopher guts
chopped up money meat
mutilated birdy feet
french fried eyeballs
sittin' in the poop-ee-doop
Gee I forgot my spoon. . .. but I've a straw!
Karen
heeki...@yahoo.com
> Who remembers some kids songs, the kinds you'd sing to amuse yourself and/or
> your friends - they seemed to be the height of wit when you were between the
> ages of 8 and 11.
>
> For example:
> (sung to the Batman theme song)
>
> Batman, swinging on a rubber band
> Along comes Superman
> And kicked him in the garbage can
> Batman!
>
> or,
>
> Leprosy, It's crawling all over me
> There goes my eyeball, into your highball
> There goes my ear dear, into your beer, dear
>
>
> and a later, raunchier one (learned sophmore year of HS)
> (sung to the tune of Mammy's little baby loves shortnin bread)
>
> You god damned mother fuckin two ball bitch
> Your mother's in the bedroom, scratchin that itch
> Your brother's in jail, tryin to raise bail
> And your sister's on the corner, singing pussy for sale
>
> (sorry if I offended anyone)
>
> Others?
Yessss!!!!....it was the thought of the Batman song that brought me here. I remember the song as (at least in the Boston Area)....
BATMAN
Swinging on a rubber band
Bumping into Superman
Thought he was the boogeyman
BATMAN
rbarth...@gmail.com
They call me Lefty
There goes my left leg
They call me Shorty