Texans
Frank Shelton
· When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.
· April showers bring May blizzards
· 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been, many times.
· You know who Alfred Packer was.
· SPF 90 is not out of the question.
· People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.
· Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
· If a full moon has ever kept you awake.
· Knowing that Texas & California are downstream gives you a certain feeling of satisfaction when you flush.
· You thought Californians would be banned by Amendment 2.
· You're actually proud of "South Park."
· You have a business degree and are frying burgers at McDonald's.
· You have a fat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.
· You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck or Cheyenne that wears a bandana.
· You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.
· A pass does not involve a football or a woman.
· You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.
· You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth… but you tell all your houseguests to do it.
· You can recite the entire Bible from memory, but can't remember to use your turn signal (oh those Colorado Springs folk).
· You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.
· You wear the latest fashions a year after they went out of style.
· You think that formal wear is ironed denim.
· North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all those damn liberals keep moving in from.
· You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky."
· You see your East Coast relatives now more than when you lived there.
· You think gun control is hitting the target.
· You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.
· You positively hate see a car with Texas or California license plates pulling a U-Haul.
Frank Shelton
YOU MIGHT BE A TEXAN IF . . .
from Misty
1. You measure distance in hours.
2. You've ever had to switch from
"heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5. You see a car
running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time
of the year.
6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the
store.
7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, or animal.
8. You install security lights on your house
and garage and leave both unlocked. 9. You carry jumper cables in your car
...for your OWN car.
10. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting"
are.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. You think
sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
14. The local paper covers
national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
17. You find 90
degrees F "a little warm."
18. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer,
Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
19. You know whether another Texan is
from southern, middle, or northern Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
21. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or
off to "Wally World."
22. You describe the first cool snap (below 70
degrees) as good chili weather.
23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda,
cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
24. You
understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Texas.
25. Your SUV tire size exceeds your IQ.
Frank Shelton
The primary differences between points of view in the liberal and conservative "Debate" over the war on terrorism might be exemplified by the following:
Question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 cal. and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swi! ng the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Alternatively, there is the "Texas Answer":
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!&nb! sp; BANG! click... (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed). A little girl speaks: "Nice grouping, Daddy!
--
Cheers,
Frank
STEAM GENE
click... (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed). >>
It's a magazine, Frank. The only weapon I know of that ever had an internal
clip was the U.S. rifle, caliber .30, M-1, gas operated, air-cooled, clip fed,
semi-automatic shoulder weapon.
Air Force and conservative. hard to learn correct terminology. <SEG>
Oh - liberals don't walk down deserted streets with wife and two small
children. That would be foolish.
Gene
ABV61-1043.001.HCB
<A HREF="http://www.tckworld.com/opfoot">http://www.tckworld.com/opfoot</A>
Look for "Skinny Dipping and Other Stories"
On the web at www.publishamerica.com or
www.military-brats.com or at a bookstore near you
Frank Shelton
that a stripper clip and you simply shoved the cartridges in the internal
magazine? Or do I recall that they clip ejected when the last round was
fired? Being Air Force I never had anything directly to do with the rifle.
We used the carbine and it did use an external magazine.
--
Cheers,
Frank
AAC/AAF/AF BV59-0241CO
"I carried an M-16 ... I pulled my turn on the perimeter at night and walked
through the elephant grass, and I was fired upon." Los Angeles Times,
October 15, 1999.
Alan Leo a photographer in the press brigade accompanied Gore on those "half
dozen or so" trips into the field and described them as cakewalks during
which, he said, "I could have worn a tuxedo." Newsweek, December 6, 1999
http://users.codenet.net/shelton
"STEAM GENE" <stea...@aol.comOpFoot> wrote in message
news:20030214145903...@mb-mh.aol.com...
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STEAM GENE
Oh yes you did. Pushed it home with your thumb and got the thumb out of the
way to prevent it being squished between the bolt and the receiver. On the
eighth round, both cartridge and clip ejected.
An M-14 and an M-16 both use a stripper clip, as did the '03. The BAR may have
had one, too.
Frank Shelton
the
> way to prevent it being squished between the bolt and the receiver.
Oh, yes. M-1 thumb I've heard of it. Had a roommate in College who owned a
gun collection including an immaculate M-1 Garand. Must have been unused
when he got it, and he'd only fired it a few times. Got to look it over and
operate the mechanism. Had to push down on the magazine to let the bolt go
forward slipping the thumb quickly out of the way. I was always fast enough.
Lots of incentive. That thing really slams forward.
--
Cheers,
Frank
AAC/AAF/AF BV59-0241CO
"I carried an M-16 ... I pulled my turn on the perimeter at night and walked
through the elephant grass, and I was fired upon." Los Angeles Times,
October 15, 1999.
Alan Leo a photographer in the press brigade accompanied Gore on those "half
dozen or so" trips into the field and described them as cakewalks during
which, he said, "I could have worn a tuxedo." Newsweek, December 6, 1999
http://users.codenet.net/shelton
STEAM GENE
forward slipping the thumb quickly out of the way. >>
The follower, Frank. <g> At age thirteen I had to be able to disassemble the
M-1 for cleaning. We weren't supposed to dissassemble the trigger housing
group. There's a spring in there that is hard to compress, nor were we
suppossed to dissemble the rear sight mechanism. But we did have to
dissassemble the receiver. Always remove the follower rod and follower rod
spring before removing the retaining pin. Likewise always insert the retaining
pin before installing the follower rod and follower rod spring. And don't
install the bullet guide backwards.
I think i could still dissasemble and assemble that rifle. Not sure I could
either an M-14 or an M-16.
debbymac
is -- he was an instructor in "small arms" in the Army, but somehow he had
to repair tanks. How do you consider THAT small arms?
"STEAM GENE" <stea...@aol.comOpFoot> wrote in message
Xombi13
"debbymac" <debb...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:ovx3a.37508$rq4.2...@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
> Ask Mike -- he can show you how to disassemble just about any gun there
> is -- he was an instructor in "small arms" in the Army, but somehow he had
> to repair tanks. How do you consider THAT small arms?
<Snip>
You're from texas.
H
snorgltle! <spewing coffee all over the keyboard>
--
harmon at mac.com
REMEMBER 9/11
"My family is American, and has been for generations, in all its
branches, direct and collateral." (General Grant describes my family.)