What have you learned, Dorothy?
Ol' BattleMonkey
A friend and I are compiling a list of things I've learned from 27 years
of cult film watching. So I pose to you the question -- what have YOU
learned from your favorite strange films? Our current list follows...
-------
1. Never walk into a dark room in an old mansion or an abandoned cabin
in the jungle and shout, "Is anyone there?" Yes, there is someone there,
and they are going to kill you. If you must do this, yell one time, and
then leave if your friends don't answer. They are not hiding and playing
a joke on you, thus there is no need to follow your shout with, "Tommy,
this isn't funny!"
2. Don't laugh at voodoo rituals meant to keep the living dead at bay,
especially if the living dead are walkign around. I mean, you may not
have believed in voodoo previously, but in light of corpses walking
around, it can't hurt to keep some mystical thing on hand. Don't just
knock it over or throw it a way while grumbling, "Buncha mumbo jumbo
voodoo bullshit!"
3. Never say "We're home free!" or "It's finally over!" after seemingly
beating some horror. If you do, whatever was chasing you will just pop
up again.
4. People, I can't stress this one enough. Do not, I repeat DO NOT go
check to see if the monster is dead. Just haul ass on out of there.
5. If you are being chased by a monster, no matter how slow and
lumbering, even if it's Tor Johnson or a slow mummy or zombie, never run
so fast that you end up in a different camera shot than the monster. If
you stay close by but out of reach, you're pretty safe. The second you
get into a seeperate shot from the monster, it will have magically
closed the gap and be right next to you, or possibly even in front of
you.
6. During the cold war, both Superpowers were under constant threat of
being
taken over by armies of women.
7. No matter what sort of car you have, if something is chasing you, it
will
not start on the first try.
8. Midgets are very horny people
9. In ancient China, blood from the mouth meant death.
10. Apes are very horny animals
11. The Mob had a real vendetta against Black people in the seventies.
12. According to most movies starring Rudy Ray Moore, the late seventies
world of nightclub comedy was a cut-throat business, involving bombs,
machine-gunning, or kidnapping.
13. Adults just won't believe teenagers when they report flying saucers,
vampires, or wild gorillas.
14. Never trust a ventriloquist dummy.
15. Bad guys and demons love to assume the form of a long-lost loved
one. People always fall for this even if they watch the demon transform
right in front of them. Listen, it's not your dead brother or wife. Stop
falling for this one!
16. Women in the fifties had to cover their mouths with a fist to
scream.
17. Cavemen all had names like "Grawk" and "Ungh" and "Gorthag."
Cavewomen could have names like this, or they can be named Roxanne.
18. Prehistoric women had razors and other grooming tools.
19. The Warwicke Davis Provisio -- passed in 1984 with support from
George Lucas. If you are making a film with wee folk, leprechauns,
dwarves, or hobbits, it must star Warwicke Davis.
20. If you are in an Arab nation, at some point you will see a mosque
sillouhetted against the setting sun while, in the distance, someone
does that Rabaic "Oohlululululu" throat singing thing. Later, if you get
in a chase in this same country, you will knock over a fruit stand.
21. Sometimes you just have to take it on faith that the hero really is
the best at whatever it is he does, no matter how much evidence to the
contrary may be presented by watching him perform.
22. Never watch a movie that involves "kids in action on their BMXs." It
usually involves a couple kids, probably wearing camoflauge pants,
riding their dirt bikes while being pursued by spies or governemnt
agents or gangsters or possibly Dracula.
23. In the 1970s, criminal bosses were all named Mr. Big.
24. Want to learn kung fu? Start drinkin' wine.
25. When searching for people, or just out for a night on the town, neon
signs will swirl around you.
26. If your surroundings are a rich luminous blue, it is nighttime.
27. If you set a trap for a monster, but one tiny thing goes wrong
causing it to fail, you cannot use the same plan again. Even if what
caused it to fail is infinitely likely to ever happen again and was just
a total fluke, you must still devise an entirely new plan.
28. If the hero totes around a guitar, we are in for a long and painful
movie.
29. Upon seeing something weird, drunks will look at their bottle, then
throw it away.
30. Nazis hold their cigarettes weird.
31. Cats love to hide on top of curtains or in cabinets and jump out at
us when we are scaed.
32. If said cat does jump out at you, the next thing to jump out at you
will, in fact, be the monster or the killer.
33. During a fight, yelling "Three eyed mantis fist!" as you strike a
kungfu pose is much cooler in the movies than it is in real life. Try it
sometime if you are in a fight. Yell out "Monkey steals a peach!"
34. Voices from your past will circle around your head and speak in
echo.
35. If you maneuver a bad situation to the point where there is no
one-liner pun involved with the way you might be killed by your
adversary, then you're pretty safe.
36. If zombies ever show up and aren't all fucked up and slow and able
to be killed by shooting them in the head, we're in big trouble.
37. Movie carnivals are much cooler than real ones.
38. If your star is also a pop idol singer, get ready for a long and
painful movie.
39. Spacemen can't take a punch.
40. Our weapons are always useless against giant monsters and invading
UFOs.
41. Want to hide a counterfiting/espionage ring? Act like your hideout
is a
haunted house. That should keep people away.
42. If you are trapped in a house with a psychopathic stalker, don't
take time out to shower or have sex.
43. during the 1920s, there were a lot of escaped gorillas on The
Bowery. Bela Lugosi was largely responsible for this.
44. If you happen to find a book or a tape involving ancient magical
rites
to raise the dead, DO NOT read or play it.
45. Aliens love giving speeches about how they have watched us for
years,
and laughed at our puny weapons. They still can't take a punch, however.
--
Ol' BattleMonkey
The Innovator of Extreme RiverDance
This is NOT Your Father's RiverDance!
Teleport City Webzine
http://www.teleport-city.com
Nomican
1. Prior to going off to the secluded cabin or haunted house, make sure
that your car is in good working condition. You wouldn't want a bad
starter to ruin your only method of escape.
2. If a psychopathic killer calls you once, fine. But don't answer the
phone after that.
3. In a psychothriller, Don't get involved with the girl with the big
boobs. She'll be one of the first to die.
4. The fortune teller isn't as full of shit as you thought.
5. If you want to take revenge on someone, do it, but do not under any
circumstances conjure demons to do it for you.
6. Don't go into the hole. What's down there is much worse than what's
chasing you.
7. Don't move into a house that's been vacant for more than ten years.
8. Or previously residented by someone who practiced black magic.
9. Lovecraft's "Old Ones" do not make good pets.
10. If you must stay in the house, the attic is the safest place to hide
from zombies.
11. Wear shoes with good traction.
12. When vacationing with significant other, be wary of eccentric old
aristocrats who invite the both of you to his castle for dinner.
13. If it seems to good to be true, it probably is. She's not knocking on
your bedroom window because she's horny. She wants to drink your blood.
14. In 60s & 70s horror, beware of men in turtlenecks.
15. The townspeople aren't paranoid. They're smart.
http://home.earthlink.net/~rudy_k/
luke
Psychopathic killers take a really long time to climb stairs.
If you want to know the bad guy's plan before he kills you, just ask, he'll
be happy to explain it to you. As a bonus you can use the time to build up
courage to escape.
Gunshot/stab wounds aren't that painful. You'll forget about them in no
time.
Don't pickup the hitchhiker, no matter how nice he looks or how boring the
drive is.
If the cop is one day from retirement, he's a dead man.
All drug kingpins are pock-marked Colombians.
Avoid out-of-the-way farmhouses and cornfields.
Aliens all speak English quite well.
Fainting has gone out of style.
If you're making out with your girlfriend and she hears something strange,
just say "I didn't hear anything". She'll shrug it off and you can get back
to business.
Ayatolla Wiener Dog
Ol' BattleMonkey <battle...@teleport-city.com> wrote in message
news:38596BF0...@teleport-city.com...
>
> A friend and I are compiling a list of things I've learned from 27 years
> of cult film watching. So I pose to you the question -- what have YOU
> learned from your favorite strange films? Our current list follows...
>
Post of the year (POTY).
ado...@my-deja.com
The Necronomicon is not a toy. It should also NEVER be read aloud.
As a hobby, camping has a fatality rate that puts skydiving to shame.
Camping in the woods is bad. (BWP) Camping by the lake is also bad,
especially if you're planning to do a little partying. (F13)
Many American cities look just like Toronto.
Chainsaws have all kinds of uses.
Never eat anything you didn't cook yourself.
When people in foreign countries talk, thier words can come out even
when it looks like thier mouths are closed.
Tokyo is a bad place to invest in real estate.
In article <38596BF0...@teleport-city.com>,
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Ol' BattleMonkey
>
> Ol' BattleMonkey <battle...@teleport-city.com> wrote in message
> news:38596BF0...@teleport-city.com...
> >
> > of cult film watching. So I pose to you the question -- what have YOU
> > learned from your favorite strange films? Our current list follows...
> >
>
Well, I'm just trying to help people out, y'know...
Morgan
Guys who like computers never have dates and usually have vicious
older brothers.
OTOH, girls who like computers are beautiful with aerobics
instructor's bodies who try to cover it up by wearing glasses.
Robots may pretend to be your freinds, but don't you belive it for an
instant.
Science is mostly about animating dead things and pretty much involves
the crafty arrangement of neon lights and beakers of stuff.
Love is all about bothering a girl who doesn't like you that much
until you have a chance to save her life.
If you're a teenager watch out! Because drinking and sex don't just
result in alchoholoism and teen pregnancy, but also decapitation and
harpooning.
Crazy old men who say you're all going to die are probably right.
Most people will have sex with each other, if left alone long enough.
Foriegners know a lot more about monsters, witches and evil demons
than we do, probably because they're so wise.
The typical garden shed has enough improvisable weaponary to kill off
a small army.
Guys who look bad, are bad. Guys who look good, are probably bad too.
Guys who look like idiots are probably ok.
Just don't go on vacation. No good ever comes of it.
There is more sex in prisons than in club 54 at it's height.
Dana Carpender
ado...@my-deja.com wrote:
> Here are a few addittions:
>
> The Necronomicon is not a toy. It should also NEVER be read aloud.
>
> As a hobby, camping has a fatality rate that puts skydiving to shame.
>
> Camping in the woods is bad. (BWP) Camping by the lake is also bad,
> especially if you're planning to do a little partying. (F13)
Teenagers who have sex get killed, especially if they're girls. Teenage
girls who take care of the children while the sluts are getting laid
survive.
--
Dana W. Carpender
Author, How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet -- And Lost Forty Pounds!
http://www.holdthetoast.com
Check out our FREE Low Carb Ezine!
MK McDowell
<38596BF0...@teleport-city.com>:
>
>A friend and I are compiling a list of things I've learned from 27 years
>of cult film watching. So I pose to you the question -- what have YOU
>learned from your favorite strange films? Our current list follows...
>
I love this post!
Here are a few more that came to mind (for horror or movies in general):
1. If you just moved to a house and you hear a Satanic voice telling you to
"get out!", it's best that you go ahead and get the hell out. If you're
not sure that you were just "hearing things" and decide to stay, at least
get the hint the second time around (ex: if things start moving around the
house by themselves, your pets start acting up, etc). If you *still* don't
leave, you will most likely end up dying, become possessed by something
evil, or you may even end up having the urge to kill of your family...not
good! This could also happen to a family member instead of you.
2. It's never a good idea to bring back the dead no matter how it's done.
3. If it so happens that for sure you know someone has died, then suddenly
appears at your door or window seemingly alive again, it's best not to
acknowlege him.
4. If you have a lot of money, your spouse/lover is most likely plotting to
kill you.
5. If everyone in your group gets killed, do not trust a stranger who is
all "too willing" to help.
6. If you know the killer is amongst a group of friends (instead of an
unknown) and only you and one friend are remaining, do not trust this
friend. This person is probably the killer no matter how much he tries to
convince you it was someone else.
6. To go along with the above, whoever the killer ended up being, he
definitely wants you dead also. There will probably be a big struggle
between you. It will be pretty damn scary when you think your life is
about to end because you find yourself losing the battle. Well, in most
cases, rest assured that the second before you're terminated, someone (whom
you may or may not know) will arrive just in time to save your ass.
You see, the killer always hesitates and wastes way too much with his last
victim. Therefore, he normally gets blown away before he can finish his
deed.
7. Don't worry about getting shot to death by "bad guys" as they are always
a lousy aim...you may get shot in the leg or arm, but nothing fatal. Most
likely, your aim will be better than all of theirs put together.
8. It's not wise to investigate haunted houses, no matter how much money
you will be paid.
9. If you go to outer space for any reason, be aware that your ship will
most likely be invaded by some type of alien.
10. If you decided to take a trip below the depths of the earth, be aware
that your submarine will most likely be invaded by some sea creature.
11. If at a carnival, there's probably a killer inside the funhouse. If
not already there, he will chase you into one where you will indefinitely
come to the mirror room where you can't tell where the killer is. What's
good is that he can't tell where your are either. Many mirrors will be
broken here due to that fact.
12. Do not try to solve unfamiliar funky looking rubik's cubes.
13. People possessed by evil spirites always have bad teeth and skin, and
all sound about the same when they talk.
14. If you attempt to help someone in need, you will not be able to get rid
of him and your life will be in danger.
Lone Wolf
1. If you're travelling with a spouse and the car breaks down, if a
kind truck driver fofers to drive just YOUR WIFE to town to get a tow
truck, either go along with them, or wait for someone else.
2. Travelling across any desert is probably a bad idea.
3. Travelling through wooded areas is also a bad idea.
4. Come to think of it, big cities are bad news, too. Stay in the
suburbs... unless you suspect your neighbors are maniacal killers,
which they probably are. Just to be safe, bloe up their house and
don't waste time poking around while they're not home.
5. A crazy white boy going through Harlem can always find one
tough-talking but kind-hearted black guy to help him out.
6. When your house steals one of your children, just cut your losses
and get the hell out.
7. Don't go into the sewer system. There are mutants, alligators,
giant lobsters, and psychotic street people down there.
8. If you own a dog and at some point you are being chased by a
monster, the dog will miraculously come to your rescue.
9. Hyperintelligent aliens that can build hyperspace technology and
travel billions of lightyears to Earth will always want to anal probe
us, draw pictures in fields, and mutiliate our cattle.
10. When hunting man-eating animals, don't dangle any body part near
the water, near a bush, near a pit, or near your tent flap.
11. When people start disappearing from your town, and/or show up
looking lobotomized, psychotic, and/or have glowing eyes, RUN.
12. Midgets are bad motherfuckers. Don't mess with them.
13. When travelling through Transylvania, wear a steel neck brace,
garlic undershirt, and bathe in holy water.
14. Thanks to Stephen King, no one should EVER travel through Maine
ever again.
15. Don't use the subway, because there will be homicidal gang
members, vicious hunter aliens, mutants, werewolves, and satan coming
to get you. Take the bus, but check it first for explosives.
16. If you see anyone that looks like Dennis Hopper or Kevin Spacey,
RUN.
17. If you should decide to face the villain in a bloody fight to the
death, do not stand on a dock, next to a tree, near a staircase, or
anywhere the villain can grab you. Do it in the middle of a big field.
18. When invading a planet infested with giant bugs, bring big guns.
No, bigger. Bigger. Bigger than that.
19. When being chased by villains or monsters, you can pick up any
weapon, no matter how big or small, archaic or high-tech, and wield it
like a master. It's an adrenaline thing.
20. If you have cool theme music, you can never die.
-----
Lone Wolf
There's a reason that banana is in my ear.
I'm trying to get the little monkey out of my head.
"No ticket."
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade/Dogma
"You think you're precious, and I think you're shit."
- Filter, "Welcome to the Fold"
gareth young
you just caused me to half choke to death!
oh and something i learnt
1)children with physical deformities are sure to be evil psychopathic
killers.
--
Gareth.
i lost my signature and can't be bothered.
James Dominguez
A couple you might like to add:
- Whenever somebody living in a city is feeling unhappy and goes for a
walk, they will always walk pasy either a porn shop or a strip club.
- Out of work ours, police officers spend 90% of their time in strip
clubs.
- If your friends have all been knocked off, and you are being stalked
by an unseen killer, don't stress too much - he or she will usually spend a
long time explaining a long time explaining his or her motives to you,
usually long enough to run quite a long way.
- If you get in a dangerous, dying one-by-one kind of situation, and
you are a heartless executive suit, you are dead. Just give up now.
- Should you find yourself in a horror or action storyline, just avoid
helicopters altogether - they crash into cinemas, get pulled underwater by
sharks, get blown up with missiles, smash into hillsides...
--
======================================================================
= = Riff - "Yes! Spam Satan!" =
= From the keyboard of = =
= James J. Dominguez = Torg - "Some jokes never get old." =
= de...@mynx.wow.aust.com = Riff - "Others are born that way." =
= IRCNet: DexX ICQ: 10419916 = Sluggy Freelance =
= = http://www.sluggy.com =
======================================================================
Christopher Adams
end of the scale; you're guaranteed to survive.
2. Never be involved with the best-looking guy in the film. You will both die,
unless he's the killer. In which case he'll kill you and the plain girl will
kill him.
3. Never ever live in a house with a "history." If someone in town offers to
tell you about what happened in your house a few years ago, counter with a
request that he help you move out.
4. Be as virginal as possible. Never play any kind of kissing or stripping game,
or, if you must, be really good at avoiding the whole point of the game. Be the
one whose relationship, if you must have one, is described as "sweet."
5. Always pick either the most stylish weapon in the film or the most unlikely.
Never settle for a chairleg-club when a crossbow or salad fork is available.
6. Never be the FIRST to arm yourself heavily and go out searching for the
killer/monster/creature/et cetera. Never be gung-ho about any situation.
7. If at all possible, be the guy who cracks wise or points out the similarities
between these killings and those lo these many years ago. But refuse to do the
sequel.
--
Christopher Adams
A man of no fortune, and with a name to come.
Vice-President SUTEKH 2000
Librarian PAGUS 2000
"There can be only" ONE WAY
- Street sign, Highlander Lane, Melbourne
"You wash your mouth out with - Hank!"
- Hank Kingsley, "The Larry Sanders Show"
Brent Wilkins
<battle...@teleport-city.com> wrote:
Good list. Now some of my own =)
If the world is crawling with zombies, never assume that your safe and
can goof around no matter how slow they are.
if you're a geeky high school student and a girl offers to have sex
with you on April 1st, or any other day, always expect to end up
humiliated and/or disfigured. Wait. That's a lesson I've learned in
life and not from cult films *L*
if you get a job in a medical supply warehouse and find out therer are
strange drums in the basement from the military just quit then and
there. No amount of money is worth the ensuing carnage.
Never kick the psycopathic killer in the groin. It doesn't hurt him
as much as a normal person and just pisses him off more
Never travel in time just not worth it.
Cheerleading camps are just bad news. You're either going to be
killed or utterly humiliated by the popular clique. I take that back.
ALL camps are bad news, unless either Bill Murray or Richard Mulligan
are there.
Lock yourself in your house on all special days. Such as April Fool's
Day, your birthday, Friday the 13th....
No matter how large the fee is, never search for a missing horror
author
Abandonned houses with disturbing histories aren't good places to
throw Halloween parties
If your friends start speculating that you're the killer, kiss your
ass goodbye because you're going to die soon
Never proclaim that the killer will never get you, because that's a
sure sign he will
Secret agents get laid more than any other profession.
If the lead character is played by a singer and any song of the singer
comes on the radio, they'll state that they don't like that singer
If there's a killer on the loose at a Halloween party and your
significant other leads you away while they're in full costume tha
obscures their face, the odds are that they're the killer in dsguise
sk...@kermit.cyto.purdue.edu
Great class notes here. I think I can add one or two.
Fluorescein is the most scientific substance ever.
Distillation columns apparently work better upside down.
Oscilloscopes generate an awful lot of noise.
Computers are evil.
And they all have 40 character screens.
And very noisy keyboards.
No matter how implausibly hot your companion is, whether
camper or counselor, don't have sex at sleepaway camp.
Gunshots are actually pretty harmless; it takes 5 or 6 just
to slow someone down.
Knife wounds, on the other hand, are instantly fatal, no
matter how shallow, as long as the knife sticks.
That goes double for kung fu throwing stars.
Ol' BattleMonkey
I can't believe I forgot this one:
"The Chosen One' and/or "the one of which the prophecy speaks" is almost
always going to be a weenie guy.
Stacey Holbrook
> A friend and I are compiling a list of things I've learned from 27 years
> of cult film watching. So I pose to you the question -- what have YOU
> learned from your favorite strange films? Our current list follows...
(snip of great list)
1. If you are female and are being chased by a monster and/or psycho
killer, you will always trip even if you are wearing sturdy running shoes.
2. If you are the only one in a group with a sense of humor you will die.
3. All ropes, dangling cables and vines are sturdy and can hold the weight
of up to three people who are interested in swinging across yawning
chasms, between tall skyscrapers or just need to sail through the air in a
hurry.
4a. Impressionable people who watch gore flicks become vegetarians because
you never know if some crazy cannibal family might be selling their
leftovers to a meat packing facility.
4b. Eat only the food you cook yourself.
5. If they hero has a dog it will invariably get killed or be horribly
tortured. This is almost as good a way to get the hero to go on a revenge
murder rampage as killing his wife or girlfriend.
6. The heros dog usually have a problem with severe flatulence.
7. The guy wearing the really cool sunglasses is the bad guy.
8. Screaming never brings help. Save your breath for running. Running
usually doesn't help either but it is more productive than screaming.
9. Even if you put fresh batteries in your flashlight, it won't work when
you need it the most. Something always goes wrong with flashlights-- don't
even bother to bring one.
10. Don't shower, eat, drink, answer the phone or go on vacation. All of
these activities are deadly.
11. Bad guys don't feel pain. No matter how many times you stab them,
shoot them, hit them, throw heavy objects at them, kick them in the balls
etc. they just keep coming after you.
> Ol' BattleMonkey
>
Stacey (au...@netdoor.com)
lst...@webtv.net
otherwise mutilated in every conceivable way. But if a pooch is offed in
a film, a simple off-camara "yipe!" is all you'll have to endure. {SIDE
NOTE} You're kitty cat may die, too. But you won't see it happen. You'll
find poor Morris later, skinned alive and hanging in your shower stall
or closet. Either this or he'll watch sheepishly as you are carved up or
eaten.
2. That car your driving can easily fly a hundred feet or so and land
unharmed, save a hub cap or two. But for Christs sake don't crest a
cliff or it will burst into flames practically before the rear tires
leave the ground.
3. If you see a speeding car heading for your parked car, don't worry
that your rear end is about to get caved in. Apparently someone has
placed ramps behind your car that will send the speeding car flying over
the top of it.
4. Don't worry if your elevator suddenly stops between floors, unless
you see the star of the movie coming to rescue you.
5. If you see George Kennedy, get as far away from him as humanly
possible, but not by plane.
6. I don't care HOW dead that bad guy looks! Unless his head and in his
body are in different hemispheres, run away, now!
7. How evil a guy is is directly proportionate to his ability to recover
from a kick to the groin.
Dana Carpender
Ol' BattleMonkey wrote:
> I can't believe I forgot this one:
>
> "The Chosen One' and/or "the one of which the prophecy speaks" is almost
> always going to be a weenie guy.
Unless it's Milla Jovavich.
Dana Carpender
lst...@webtv.net wrote:
> 1. You may have to witness your human friends being sliced, diced, and
> otherwise mutilated in every conceivable way. But if a pooch is offed in
> a film, a simple off-camara "yipe!" is all you'll have to endure. {SIDE
> NOTE} You're kitty cat may die, too. But you won't see it happen. You'll
> find poor Morris later, skinned alive and hanging in your shower stall
> or closet. Either this or he'll watch sheepishly as you are carved up or
> eaten.
We get to see a reanimated cat get killed in Reanimator. (One of the best
lines in the movie -- "It was dead!" "Twice.")
Of course, it's a patently fake cat.
LArry Stanley The Ultimate Fanboy
<battle...@teleport-city.com> wrote:
> I can't believe I forgot this one:
>
>
>
> "The Chosen One' and/or "the one of which the prophecy speaks" is almost
> always going to be a weenie guy.
What about Buffy? Or Ash? Or are they exceptions to the rule?
Just wondering.
LArry
--
LArry Stanley The Ultimate Fanboy
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful woman..
and you can keep the golf clubs and fresh air. Jack Benny
Ol' BattleMonkey
Dana Carpender wrote:
>
> Ol' BattleMonkey wrote:
>
> > I can't believe I forgot this one:
> >
> > "The Chosen One' and/or "the one of which the prophecy speaks" is almost
> > always going to be a weenie guy.
>
> Unless it's Milla Jovavich.
She was the weeniest of all. Sorry, but I can't buy a 90 pound super
model as a universal kungfu bad-ass.
Ash is the exception to the rule.
Mag*
I'm not so sure about #6.
The lesson I've learned is:
If you know the killer is amongst a group of friends (instead of an
unknown) and only you an one friend are remaining, the killer is one of
the "dead" friends. He or she faked their own death to throw you off the
track and suspect each other.
(I learned this from Agatha Christie's "Ten Little Indians", "Scream",
and a few others - although a strong case for your lesson is made in "I
Still Know What You Did Last Summer")
Mag*
Dana Carpender
Ol' BattleMonkey wrote:
> Dana Carpender wrote:
> >
> > Ol' BattleMonkey wrote:
> >
> > > I can't believe I forgot this one:
> > >
> > > "The Chosen One' and/or "the one of which the prophecy speaks" is almost
> > > always going to be a weenie guy.
> >
> > Unless it's Milla Jovavich.
>
> She was the weeniest of all.
Weenie perhaps, but "guy", no.
> Sorry, but I can't buy a 90 pound super
> model as a universal kungfu bad-ass.
>
> Ash is the exception to the rule.
Ash rocks.