Re: ...more damp leaves

[Mr On!on]

<ug...@hotmail.com> wrote:

> Squirrel had hoped that a few days away would lift spirits, but is feeling
> increasingly gloomy. Nothing has improved, and there seems to be nothing
> worth breathing for in any possible forseeable future. Just a few loose
> ends to tidy up.
>
> No trolls please.
>

Defeatist.

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[Mr On!on]

<ug...@hotmail.com> wrote:

> And I hope you don't lose anyone in your own family from your cold
>attitude. In support groups of people left behind they often say why
>didn't they tell us? The truth is that people do tell, but no one cares
>and no one listens.
>

You are very angry.
Turn that energy into constructive action, not self-pity.

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[Mr On!on]

<ug...@hotmail.com> wrote:

> Yes I am very angry. There is still nothing ahead of me for taking
>constructive action for. No possibility of a future in any direction.
>The last hope of that was blown away by the loss of my job. I was
>hanging by a thread before I lost my job. Any hope for any kind of
>future relied on me staying in that job for the rest of my working
>life. Both financially and type of job. Without it there is no part of
>my life I want to live for. Nor is anything I want to live for going to
>come into my life. It never has in any other part of my life come, nor
>is it tantalisingly just round the corner. It is not available. I made
>a big effort to get into that job. I have no energy left, and energy is
>still draining daily from me in a thankless obligation. With the job
>gone there is nothing else. There is not even the dream of anything
>else. It is gone for good. So yes I pity myself. I feel like my life
>has been wasted and has been a complete waste of time and energy. I
>have long wished I was never born. I have had little chance to show
>what I could have done. That little chance is closed now. I really wish
>I had never been born. I have always hated people who have no sympathy
>but just mouth self-satisfying platitudes which are more about them
>than any desire to help others. The energy you are trying to fuel isn't
>constructive. I have no foundation to build upon. I thought I was a
>loser as a kid, I was brought up to be aware of all the obstacles and
>all my inadequacies and made aware by my parents of my likelihood of
>failure in pretty well everything. You don't want to believe, but when
>things don't go well you hear those voices. I can say I lived up to
>their expectations. And when things start to go well, they undermine
>it. Yes I am very angry, but for that energy to be constructive there
>has to be something to build upon. There is nothing. Not even the
>desire to be a nice person
>

So it seems. I am sorry that you are so troubled. Don't give in.

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