OF VELVET DRAPES, BIRDS AND FRUITS
~~~AllisonWonderland~~~
It is about time I gave you all an explanation for the recent spate of
highly stylized, scatological posts issued from this author.
But before I elucidate to enlighten you all about this issue, I have a
parable that NEEDS to be grokked, so that what ensues will make sense. Pay
attention, and I promise to make it all crystal clear.
So first the parable:
Once upon a time, there was a king who just loved art. And so he sponsored a
contest to find the bestest artist in his kingdom. The competiton was
fierce, but finally the field was narrowed down to just two artists.
And so the king laid out the rules for the final contest. Each artist was to
do a painting, to be finished in a week, and judged in the king's court.
Well, judgement day came, and the two artists arrived at the castle with
their painting. They were placed on easels, and were readied for display.
The king, queen, prince, princess, jester, and all the others of the court
assembled to see the viewing&judging...
So it finally came time to actually view the exhibits.
So the first artist removed the velvet drape from his painting, revealing a
GORGEOUS still-life of a bowl of fruit on a table. He had no more removed
the velvet drape, when immediately a bird flew in one of the open windows
and began hungrily trying to eat of the fruit!
It pecked at the grapes&pomegranates.
It pecked at the pears&apples.
It pecked at the bananas&oranges.
All to the exquisite delight of artist who thought: "Surely, this was the
finest thing that could have happened."
The audience marveled at the real-ness of the image... It was TRUELY a fine
work of art, a MASTERPIECE!
And so it came time for the other artist to display his effort...
But he just stood there, impassively.
Many in attendance assumed that he was defeated&undone... But he just stood
there.
"WELL?" said the King.
But the artist didn't say a word, nor did he move.
"WELL?" said the Queen.
But still the artist didn't say a word, nor did he move.
"WELL?" said the Prince&Princess.
The Jester just smiled silently.
And then in a wonton display of bravado, the first artist, said to the
second artist, for all to hear: "Remove the velvet drape, and let us see
your painting!"
To which the second artist replied: "What VELVET DRAPE?" :)
(the end)
OK, now with that done, let's get to the gist of this matter here at this
little, back-water cess-pool for the terminally up-fucked...
It should, by now, be apparent to all but the most occluded, that our
erstwile GooRooMooPoo has been, as he has recently stated&reiterated on more
than just a few occasions, that all this MoosePoop about him being
enlightened, is all aught but a FICTION, and all that what he has been doing
is writing a story that whether or not he will admit it, has been aimed at
"getting the goats" of as many netizens as possible.
And to give credit where credit is due, he has succeeded in doing just that
on a number of occasions.
Remember PAC who drove 1500 miles, intending to confront StPehen? Only to
have StPehen wimp out and hide behind his boss's apron, while brandishing
the nail-gun, with which he one time nailed his foot to the floor, and went
in circles till someone came along and brought it to his attention. Such was
his sleep.
And I don't have to make a list for you. It is readily apparent&obvious that
StPehen glories in having the ability to "strip some of the less developed
visitors to <a.c.4th-w> of their egos, layer by layer", till they either
retreat to less stressful arenas or just get so upset that they are beside
themselves with anger&disconcertation. And StPehen then gloats&chides,
taunts&derides them for their lack of control.
I immediately saw what was going on when I first became aware of StPehen,
and so I decided that I too would write a fiction. And I too, would see if I
couldn't get the goats. But while StPehen was after EVERYONE, I just was
after only&just HIM.
Now the difference between StPehen&~~~AW~~~ was that he could never fool me.
He could never anger me. He tried by all the means at his disposal. He
called my sexual orientation into question. But I am secure enough in my own
mind that I just chuckled at his naivete.
He tried his best to push my buttons, but he couldn't find any because there
aren't any.
No matter what ploy he used, he was unable to shake me, quake me, into
losing control. For nothing that he said had any effect on my mental state.
He took pot shots at my mother, father, cats, etc. But NOTHING he did has
any effect! Oh how I laughed.
But such was not the case when I started putting the big britches on
StPehen. He had buttons galore. He has festering sores that needed
lancing&draining so that the sunlight could be let in and he could finally
heal up and not be such a sore loser...
He was EXTREMELY touchy about his father, his mother, his ex-wife, his
step-son SugarFrostedBlake, his bald head, his buggy eyes, his ET fingers,
his 2" action figure, his dead dog, his inability to write with any
convincing alacrity, his mental health, his laziness, his inability to
maintain a continuitious though train for more then two or three seconds. It
was beyond his ability to do aught but identify with what I was saying, take
it personally, and just get "mad as a little wet hen!" Can you say DUMB as
hamburger bun?
Now I have known all along that what he was saying was fictitious, though
there have been many who did not. They were like the bird that came in and
pecked at the two dimensional images of fruit on the canvas in the castle.
And StPehen reveled in this, just like the artists who painted the fruit.
Now, the mark of GOOD FICTION is when another writer cannot tell it is a
fiction. And that is what has happened to StPehen... I started doing to him
what he was doing to others, and he lost his cool when he read my story.
He has done to ME what other have done to HIM, that is threaten to show up
on my doorstep to deal stridently with me. Fortunately, he never had two
dimes to rub together, so if it cost a nickle to get here, he couldn't
afford to get out of bed. He has said that if he ever gets in proximity to
me that he is going to punch me out. And all because I very convincingly
pushed his buttons, lanced his festering "puss" pockets. and I generally
just gave him a thorough going-over that he was helpless to prevent or end,
and this just pissed him off BIGTYME! :)
Oh I know it hurt, but it was all for his own good.
And what was bestest about it was that it was all just a FICTION, but HE
DIDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. What VELVET DRAPE? :)
Now I know that he is feeling a bit FOOLISH, and a bit SHEEPISH about making
such an ASS of himself, but I just wanted to say to him that he shouldn't
feel so chagrinned, for I have taken on opponents that were much, much, MUCH
more formidable then our own beloved little, ugly, queer, bald-headed
P-R-I-C-K with the same results as I got with him.
And through it all, I have been able to maintain my
~~~HAPPY~~~HAPPY~~~HAPPY~~~ attitude, and never let any of it affect my
peace of mind. Such is the nature of my maturity&self-possession
But just look at how StPehen has been pissing&moaning&groaning over MY
fiction. He wouldn't have done that unless he thought it was REAL. And so
all I have to say to him is: "What VELVET DRAPE?"
Anyway, I think I have made my point.
Here it is the middle rounds, and already StPehen, is still on his stool in
the corner, with his seconds giving him smelling salts to revive him. He is
having bad dreams, he doesn't feel well, he can't admit that I have taken
him apart and put him back together so many times that EVERYONE has lost
count. SoBe numbers it in the thousands of times and thousands of ways. And
he derided StPehen for be a "one trick pony", having only one thing with
which to hit back, and it NEVER worked.
And the bestest part about it is that through it all, I have maintained a
detatched demeanor, never letting him even get close to rattling me.
And the next bestest thing about it is that there are those here who have
been watching this, and they fall into two categories: Those that are just
getting a hell of a kick out of seeing the little, ugly, queer, bald-headed
P-R-I-C-K get his comeuppance&put-downance, and have just been enjoying
seeing me deal so successfully with him; And those who see me kicking the
shit out of him, day after day after day and though they don't especially
like him, they feel that what is happening is unfair. They'd feel the same
way about HulkHogan beating the shit out of PeeWeeHerman. And so they decide
to kind of take the heat off of him by confronting me, hoping to draw me
away from kicking the shit out of him.
These are the birds pecking at MY painting...
BoD, Reubin, SoM, and a bunch of other sock-puppets have all failed in their
attempt to dissuade me.
While my superior ability just overwhelmed THEM.
All I had to do with BoD was to mention punctuation, and he got all bristly.
And so did Reubin, though I don't respond to Reubin because his grip on
reality is so tenuous that I don't want to be responsible for what is
inevitably going to happen to him.
But I take their wanting to jump in to stop the carnage as a most sincere
compliment. They thought that I was serious, when in actuality I was just
dishing back to StPehen what he has been dishing out to everyone else.
I'm a pretty good fiction writer, it appears! :)
And looking around, ~~~AW~~~ thinks: "Now just where did I put that
Megalodon?"
Heh heh heh heh :)
Gordon
"~~~AllisonWonderland~~~" <alli...@livingston.net> wrote in message
news:10ald91...@corp.supernews.com...
> ~~~AllisonWonderland~~~:
> It is about time I gave you all an explanation for the recent spate of
> highly stylized, scatological posts issued from this author.
Oh... you mean your recent OTL's?
Well this should prove interesting.
>
> But before I elucidate to enlighten you all about this issue, I have a
> parable that NEEDS to be grokked, so that what ensues will make sense. Pay
> attention, and I promise to make it all crystal clear.
Crowds like pandering... I hope you're prepared.
Like I've said on many occassions... sounds like someone needs a NAP!
If you get my drift.
tiresias
is sacred, this is just a medium for throwing up strings of words and
seeing what comes up from the screen. Just because Vainer has sex with
his son Blake and Gordon suck's his Buddy dog's cock and AW wanks his
cats is that anything to get heated up about in the great scheme of
things. No harm done as far as I can see.
What kind of a fourth way higher-consciousness backwater newsgroup is
this to be so narrow-minded and parochial, although it is known that
the so-called founding fathers were a bunch of cross-dressing
religious obsessives so that may have its deletrious effect on the
present.
~~~AllisonWonderland~~~
> Oh... you mean your recent OTL's?
> Well this should prove interesting.
~~~AllisonWonderland~~~ (pissing off enlightened masters since 1996):
Well, would you expect anything less from "The World's GREATEST Fiction
Writer"? :)
G:
> Like I've said on many occassions... sounds like someone needs a NAP!
> If you get my drift.
~~~AW~~~:
HAY, would you kind of keep it down... I'm trying to get some sleep here! :)
~~~AllisonWonderland~~~
> T<==>for Fuck's sake what is all this sham Usenet moralising. Nothing
> is sacred,
~~~AllisonWonderland~~~ (the world's GREATEST fiction writer) wrote:
It's the last bastion of refuge for the enlightened masters of the world...
Righteous indignation is the weapon of last resort when all else is lost!
T<==>:
> this is just a medium for throwing up strings of words and
> seeing what comes up from the screen.
~~~AW~~~:
And it really isn't worth the phosphors it's written on.
T<==>:
> Just because Vainer has sex with his son Blake
~~~AW~~~:
Better watch out Mr.T, Gordon is going to tell Groucho (Marx, not ***YKW) on
you!
T<==>:
> and Gordon suck's his Buddy dog's cock
~~~AW~~~:
Gordon? Say this isn't so! :)
T<==>:
> and AW wanks his cats
~~~AW~~~:
Why you no good, @$&#$%(*^%$@%^&*#! Wait till I see Harpo, Zeppo, Groucho,
Karl!!! :)
T<==>:
> is that anything to get heated up about in the great scheme of
> things. No harm done as far as I can see.
~~~AW~~~:
Well, we wouldn't want to upset our enlightened master, now would we? WELL,
WOULD WE?
T<==>:
> What kind of a fourth way higher-consciousness backwater newsgroup is
> this to be so narrow-minded and parochial,
~~~AW~~~:
I used to play parochial, till someone stole my little board with all the
holes in it!
T<==>:
> although it is known that the so-called founding fathers were a bunch of
cross-dressing
> religious obsessives so that may have its deletrious effect on the
present.
~~~AW~~~:
Din't that whole bunch come from some little island over near France?
GAWD bless the USofA!!!
Heh heh heh heh :)
>
>
> >
tiresias
<alli...@livingston.net> wrote:
>tiresias wrote:
>> T<==>for Fuck's sake what is all this sham Usenet moralising. Nothing
>> is sacred,
>
>~~~AllisonWonderland~~~ (the world's GREATEST fiction writer) wrote:
>It's the last bastion of refuge for the enlightened masters of the world...
>Righteous indignation is the weapon of last resort when all else is lost!
T<==>unrighteous indignation is much more righteous.
>
>T<==>:
>> this is just a medium for throwing up strings of words and
>> seeing what comes up from the screen.
>
>~~~AW~~~:
>And it really isn't worth the phosphors it's written on.
>
>T<==>:
>> Just because Vainer has sex with his son Blake
>
>~~~AW~~~:
>Better watch out Mr.T, Gordon is going to tell Groucho (Marx, not ***YKW) on
>you!
T<==>I only read the odd post so have missed a few so who is this
Groucho?
>
>T<==>:
>> and Gordon suck's his Buddy dog's cock
>
>~~~AW~~~:
>Gordon? Say this isn't so! :)
T<==>a sick puppy
>
>T<==>:
>> and AW wanks his cats
>
>~~~AW~~~:
>Why you no good, @$&#$%(*^%$@%^&*#! Wait till I see Harpo, Zeppo, Groucho,
>Karl!!! :)
T<==>they are waiting. is thios the referred to above Groucho
reference?
>
>T<==>:
>> is that anything to get heated up about in the great scheme of
>> things. No harm done as far as I can see.
>
>~~~AW~~~:
>Well, we wouldn't want to upset our enlightened master, now would we? WELL,
>WOULD WE?
T<==>the only way that I can envisage vainer being enlightened is
after him being doused with petrol and then used as an ashtray.
>
>T<==>:
>> What kind of a fourth way higher-consciousness backwater newsgroup is
>> this to be so narrow-minded and parochial,
>
>~~~AW~~~:
>I used to play parochial, till someone stole my little board with all the
>holes in it!
T<==>the other bored game that comes to mind is monotony
>
>T<==>:
>> although it is known that the so-called founding fathers were a bunch of
>cross-dressing
>> religious obsessives so that may have its deletrious effect on the
>present.
>
>~~~AW~~~:
>Din't that whole bunch come from some little island over near France?
>
>GAWD bless the USofA!!!
T<==>yes, the English managed to get rid of religious obsessives by
packing them off West to the US of A.
~~~AllisonWonderland~~~
> T<==>unrighteous indignation is much more righteous.
~~~AllisonWonderland~~~ (The World's GREATEST Fiction Writer of ALL Time)
wrote:
Isn't it funny how that works?
T<==>:
> I only read the odd post so have missed a few so who is this Groucho?
~~~AW~~~:
Groucho Marx of the Marx Brothers... They made the movie "DuckSoup" of which
Gordon so blithely speakeths (spake?)...
T<==>:
> a sick puppy
~~~AW~~~:
Naaaaaaaaa, you really think so?
T<==>:
> they are waiting. is thios the referred to above Groucho reference?
~~~AW~~~:
Yes, all except for that commie pinko Russkie faggot Karl...
T<==>:
> T<==>the only way that I can envisage vainer being enlightened is
> after him being doused with petrol and then used as an ashtray.
~~~AW~~~:
That would be a lot more interesting than Hemlock... AND it would make a
riviting MelGibson movie! :)
T<==>:
> the other bored game that comes to mind is monotony.
~~~AW~~~:
Well, as you may or may not know, StPehen is no longer the only game in
town...
T<==>:
> yes, the English managed to get rid of religious obsessives by
> packing them off West to the US of A.
~~~AW~~~:
Well, George Washington became the "Father of our country" by screwing the
indians out of their land. And today another GeORge is out showing off his
cowboy-ness by doing the same to the Iraqis. It's time to get in line with
the DixieChicks, and beat the Bushes... So to speak.
Anyway, let's on to something more interesting... How have YOU been doing?
Hope you are as well as can be expected.
BoD ©
I still hold to the fact that your BUTTONS have been PUSHED and out came
the PUSS, and Oooozzz.
Above is a poor attempt to save face from your outburst.
Get a grip.
~~~AllisonWonderland~~~
> I still hold to the fact that your BUTTONS have been PUSHED and out came
> the PUSS, and Oooozzz.
> Above is a poor attempt to save face from your outburst.
> Get a grip.
~~~AllisonWonderland~~~ (The World's GREATEST Fiction Writer of All Time)
wrote:
That IS you, isn't it Gordon?