It takes 16GB RAM max. Apparently it is possible to buy actual
valid x8 chip 4GB DIMMs today. Another poster had trouble with 4GB DIMMs,
and it turned out the SPD table on the DIMM showed it to be
of conventional construction (not High Density x4 single rank).
Chipset is P45. Socket is LGA775 (RAM not on CPU).
(LGA775 is like S478 but with extra power and ground contacts.)
The RAM terminates on P45.
https://www.asus.com/Motherboards/P5Q_Deluxe/specifications/
To get over 4GB requires memory hoisting on the chipset.
Which the BIOS should configure.
Maybe a setting of "PNP OS: No" would help, but
I can't think of anything else off hand.
CPU recognition is a separate make or break situation.
Like, rewriting DMI/ESCD over and over again, because
it cannot be determined. Or, failing to load a microcode
update so the system can actually boot. That's when you
want to check the CPU support table for the board and
see it really does support a Xeon.
The list is huge, but I don't see a Xeon. But I still
don't see that affecting the RAM issue. If it managed
to boot with less than 4GB of RAM, that's a good sign
the plumbing works (not a crash due to errata).
https://www.asus.com/Motherboards/P5Q_Deluxe/HelpDesk_CPU/
The BIOS has "Memory Remap feature" which is [Enabled]
by default, and is typically used with a 64 bit OS.
That is the memory hoisting setting (which later boards
do automatically).
And it does have a PNP OS setting, which should be [No].
That allows the BIOS to design the memory map.
There have been motherboards in the past, where the BIOS
did a poor job of designing the memory map, and managed
to have overlapping resources. This would cause a
"USB overcurrent" message while the OS was running,
as a hint the BIOS didn't do a good job. A later
BIOS revision may fix a problem like that.
I don't see anything in the single-line BIOS release descriptions
that hints at a BIOS fix.
https://www.asus.com/Motherboards/P5Q_Deluxe/HelpDesk_Download/
Paul