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LNH20: Twenty-Fisted Comics #2: "Professor Spectacular Against the Living Chemi-Zombies!"

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Drew Nilium

Oct 23, 2023, 12:10:03 AM10/23/23
From the metafictional past of Earth-20 comes...


[ The cover is a dark room with triangles of incandescent light! A man in a
rainbow labcoat and safety goggles crashes thru a window! A horde of moaning
gray figures shambles towards him, directed by a cruel figure in a surgical
mask and scrubs! At the bottom, the title blazes in lurid green!]


[Content warning: References to suicidal ideation and depressive states.]


Doctor Norton Ezekiel was the most accomplished chemist in the world! He
considered suicide, for like Alexander, he had no more worlds to conquer! But
then he had a *new* breakthru!

[Panel of Dr. Ezekiel, at a 45-degree tilted angle, standing in front of a
window that's flashing lighting, labcoat blowing in the wind, holding up a
bottle full of pills and saying:]

"I have created SPECTACULON! This MIRACLE PILL expands the power of my
prodigious brain, giving me UNLIMITED ENERGY!"

Doctor Ezekiel decided to use this newfound drive to help the people of the
world! He became... PROFESSOR SPECTACULAR!


The day has come! Professor Spectacular plans to bring the benefits of
SPECTACULON to the world!

[Panel of the Professor looking out into the setting sun, arms akimbo!]

"Imagine it! A new race of man, able to withstand the terrors of the modern

[He runs thru the city in full costume, leaping from rooftop to rooftop, always
looking forward!]

"Of course we must be sure it works! Modern medicine demands thorough testing!
But I have been busy in my research - and my heroic exploits - so I left the
testing phase to my good friend Doctor Agnar!"

[The Professor climbs down a ladder, approaching the window of a nondescript

"He's always been occupied when I try to check in, so I'll just make a
surprise visit! No doubt he too has been busy, and has much progress to
show me!"

[He peers in the window - and beholds a shocking sight! Men shuffling about
with dead eyes, listlessly working before bubbling tubes, whirring centrifuges,
and stamping machines! Those who are not working are lining up, being given
strangely familiar capsules by - Doctor Agnar!]

"Yes, take your Spectaculon - and make more, more, to further my control!"

[Close-up on the face of Doctor Agnar, wild-eyed and twisted in cackling

"Professor Spectacular's formula is a failure, but my plans are a success!
Now, the world shall buckle under the heel of - DOCTOR AGONY!"

[Professor Spectacular launches thru the window, knocking over a rack of tubes
and beakers filled with mysterious liquids, sending glassware flying!]

"Betrayer! What have you done to these men!"

[Doctor Agony points at Professor Spectacular with that same cruel smile, and
the dead-eyed men shuffle forward, hands outstretched!]

"Heh heh heh! It's what *you've* done to them, my dear professor! Chemi-
Zombies, seize him!"

[Professor Spectacular leaps and dodges, but the chemi-zombies seem to be

"I can't use my full strength against these innocents!"

[A mass of bodies surrounds the Professor, pulling him down! Soon, he sits,
tied to a chair before Doctor Agony - but he is unstoppably defiant!]

"What have you turned my formula into, you fiend in friend's clothing?!"

[Doctor Agony gives the Professor a fiendish grin, spreading his arms wide as
if to clasp his victory!]

"Turned it into? My dear Professor, these men have been given nothing but the
purest Spectaculon!"

[Shock stiffens Professor Spectacular's face!]

"No! You lie!"

[Rear view of Professor Spectacular! Before him, brightly lit by the bare bulbs
overhead, Doctor Agony looms menacingly, but in the shadows behind him crouches
a determined figure!

"Believe that if you like, Professor! I was perfectly prepared to use your
formula to create an army of super-soldiers - but a mass of obedient workers is
a more than adequate consolation prize!"

.oO(One of the zombies - untying my hands! I'm free! But I must wait for the
right moment--)

[Panel one: Doctor Agony leans in over the Professor! Panel two: With a
powerful judo throw, Professor Spectacular flips the bad Doctor end-over-end!]

"You've won the booby prize this time, Doctor!"

[Doctor Agony gets to his feet next to a chemi-zombie! His vengeful gaze
focuses on the Professor!]

"You've forgotten my army! Chemi-Zombie, atta--"

[The seeming zombie spins and gives him a roundhouse punch to the jaw!]


"Sorry, Doc-- it's time for a second opinion!"

[Professor Spectacular stands, regarding his rescuer, a boy barely out of high
school but brimming with righteous justice!]

"Who are you? How did you escape Doctor Agony's baleful hold?"

[Close-up on the youth's face, glowing with righteous justice as he speaks!]

"They call me Jack! For so long, I was living under a fog! I came to Doctor
Agnar because I was willing to try - anything! And the fog finally lifted! But
when I saw that everyone else had become a zombie, I knew something terrible
had happened! So I blended in - and waited for my chance!"

[Professor Spectacular turns away, cast in shadows, brooding!]

"So it's true... there must be something in our unique *biological chemistry*
that reverses the zombification effect - but for the good of humanity..."

[The Professor smacks his fist into his hand in determination!]

"I must destroy the formula for Spectaculon!"

[But Jack grabs his shoulder!]

"No! Don't you see? There must be others like us, adrift in a fog, wanting to
reach for the light but unable to see it!"

[Professor Spectacular now looks up towards the stars, face full of wonder!]

"Of course! What a fool I was, thinking that Spectaculon could only be good if
it was given to every man, woman and child!"

[He claps Jack on the shoulder and points off, into the future!]

"Even if only one in a million have your courage - let it be brought into the

[The end caption box declares, "Keep an eye out for the further adventures of


Eighty years later...

"Got your meds!" called out Min-young Park, AKA the wonderful Whisperion, as
she closed the door to her apartment. "We got buspirone, estradiol, the
escitalopram is for me, and spectaculon," she said, pulling orange plastic
bottles out of her bag and setting them down.

"Oh, thank god," said her roommate, Clara, jumping up from the couch."I haven't
had my dose today and shit gets bad when I miss one." She snatched that last
bottle, tossed two pills into her mouth, and took a hard swallow of water.
"Mmmh! Hah. Suicidal thoughts, the whole shebang."

"Yeah, I remember." Min-young sat down on the couch and grabbed her pill case,
plopping her medications in one by one. "I'm glad you finally found something
that works for you."

"Yep!" Satiated, Clara flopped down beside her. "My psychiatrist was worried
about side-effects, but it's been great. Apparently it was one of the first
effective antidepressants, and the guy who invented it put the patent in the
public domain."

"Holy crap. I wonder how many lives that's saved... I know I'm already a net.
hero, but..."

Clara squeezed Min-young around the shoulders. " *hope* you get the
chance to do something good for so many people. Right?"

"Yeah." Min-young holds the bottle up to the light. "Thanks, um..."

"Norton Ezekiel."

"Thanks, Doctor Ezekiel."

And the two of them were safe and comfortable, and that was more than enough.


Drew Nilium
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