Kid Kirby's Guide to the Cosmos
Harith Jameel Alkhafiz
created, as well as a few that I've seen along the way. Note that most
characters would not have access to this information, for it is stored
in Kid Kirby's MegaComputer, to which only Kid Kirby and Sing-Along Lass
have access. Cosmic characters (Continuity Champ, Halls Jordan) and the
ladies who accompanied Sing-Along Lass on her journey into space would
know some of this stuff. Anyway, here goes:
begin file:
INTERNET: Internet is the manifestation of the network in all it's
expansiveness. Generally, it appears as a member of the viewer's race,
composed of a grid over which pulses of information flow. As the
complete representation of the net, Internet is generally unconcerned
with the well-being of individual components of itself, like most beings
are oblivious to the well-being of individual cells of their bodies.
Also known as Infi.net.e.
NETERNITY: The second of the duality of Interneternity, Neternity is
the manifestation all the time spent on the network. It usually
manifests as a member of the viewer's race, though it is not as regular
in its forms as is it's sibling, Internet. Neternity always manifests
as the opposite sex of Internet. It, also, is usually unconcerned with
individuals. Also known as Inter.net.e.
ARE.EM: Are.Em is the manifestation of the end of all things of the
net. Normally, Are.Em's plans are unknown and unknowable, though it has
been seen to manifest at the deaths of significant (cosmically speaking)
beings. Are.Em normally manifests as the viewer's vision of death.
KILLFILE: The second of the Deletion duality, Killfile represents the
systematic ignoring and forgetting of things that have run their course.
Like its sibling, Are.Em, Killfile's plans are generally unknown and
unknowable. For some unknown reason, Killfile manifests as a humanoid
with a tablecloth as a cloak and cowl.
ALT.LACTUS: Alt.Lactus is the third in the triad of Interneternity,
Deletion, and itself. Alt.Lactus is feared throughout reality, for it
is the devourer of newsgroups. Alt.Lactus has a role in the cosmos
known not even to it, but it's role is significant in the cosmic scheme.
Alt.Lactus manifests as a member of the viewer's race.
LORD MUD: Lord MUD represents the use of the network as a source of
entertainment. As such, the Legion of Net.Heroes fall under its
desmenes. Though more active than the Interneternity, Deletion,
Alt.Lactus (IDA) triad, it's schemes generally do not affect the
physical reality of the net. Lord Mud manifests as a head of a member
of the viewer's race, but a head that is chaotic, ever changing.
MASTER WORKLOAD: Master Workload is a member of a duality with Lord
MUD. Master Workload represents the use of the network for business and
serious work. Master Workload manifests as a perfectly rendered head of
a member of the viewer's race. It often manifests in the midst of a
three-dimensional fractal pattern as a manifestation of mathematical
purity on all scales.
THE MULTI-TASKER: The Multi-Tasker was created by Lord MUD and Master
Workload to be a factor in between them, not unlike Alt.Lactus serves as
a factor in between Interneternity and Deletion. As a joint creation of
Lord MUD and Master Workload, the Multi-Tasker represents using the net
for work and play, both at the same time. This gives the Multi-Tasker
the unique ability to represent both work and play, seriousness and
frivolity, Mathematica and Xtrek. All polar opposites reside within
this being whose manifestations are both big and small, male and female,
young and old. Needless to say, meeting this being and visiting its
dimension of dualities is a mindbending experience to all save the
strongest minds.
THE RACELESTIALS: The RACelestials, led by the Scowling RACelestial,
reside in the RAC realms and pursue their various pursuits. It is they
who split the LNH Looniverse from the RAC realms and projected the
various worlds into the new Looniverse. However, the split was
incomplete, and only the LNH: shield keeps the RACelestials appeased.
They are two thousand-foot tall humanoids in complete body armor.
THE ELDERS OF THE LOONIVERSE: Though not as powerful as the above
beings, the Elders of the Looniverse have been included in this file due
to the impact that they have upon the Looniverse. The Elders of the
Looniverse are beings who have completely devoted their lives to one
pursuit and, in doing so, outlived their races and, in some cases, their
home newsgroups. There are numerous Elders, though many have yet to
come in contact with sentients. Their numbers include:
Flamer, who lives to flame everyone in existence
Basher, who lives to bash every possible group/race/religion/etc.
Lurker, who lives to subscribe to and read every bboard, yet never post.
(writer's note: Though I have heard rumors linking Flamer and/or Basher
to the Dorfs, I have discovered little concrete evidence to support
this. Thus, I have chosen not to include said information. So speaks
Kid Kirby...)
(writer's note: Due to information from one of Continuity Champ's
possessions, the Silver Sphere, I have reason to believe that Continuity
Champ may have been an Elder of his native reality. The last of race,
extreme longetivity, and devotion to the preservation of continuity all
point toward Elder status. This may bear further investigation...)
end file:
The above beings are unimaginably powerful and should be used with
caution, noting that they usually won't act outside their own desmenes.
Other than the above warning, these characters are public domain. Feel
free to add to the above list if you think of a cosmic being in the LNH
reality that wasn't on the above list.
Jameel, Physicist-At-Large
a.k.a. Kid Kirby, net.hero and proud member of the LNH Council of Elders
Mystery quote of the hour: "It is I that am most loved! I who should rule!"
Dave Van Domelen
will be available once the computers at LNHQ are fixed and Sig.Lad enters the
data.
Net.Elementals: There is no known 'master' of any element, but several known
elementals. There are four Elements, each with at least one representative.
FLAME: The most basic, destructive element, it really needs no further
description. Mr. Horrible and Invisible Incendiary are both flame elementals
to some extent.
THREAD: The flow of the net, thread is the water analogue. Crossposting
powers tend to draw on this element, as do killfiles. Professor Killfile has
some potential in this, but has focused more on his devices. His mystic clone,
Kid Killfile, had this potential brought out fully. Other Thread Elementals
are possible.
NET: The medium for everything, this is the equivalent of Air. This is
perhaps the least understood of the net.elements, and perhaps the one closest
to the Source Code (see below). Lagneto taps this element, and his mystic
clone L-2 was more completely an elemental of Net.
PUNCTUATION or CHARACTERS: The building blocks of net.matter, this is
Earth. CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE, Typo Lad and Lettering maN all have some control
over this element, and Ellipses King has been retconned into a full fledged
Punctuation Elemental. Full control of this element allows one to break down
physical reality itself or create anything imaginable. It is possible that Kid
Anarky's Useless Power (tm) to create visual sound effects may be the tip of
the iceberg, and that he has the potential for greater Character control. This
element is sometimes split into two subgroups, Punctuation which focuses on
grammar, and Character which focuses on spelling. Spelling Boy and Grammer Lad
are specialists in this sense. This is perhaps the most fully understood of
the elements, yet strangely few bother to master it. If it is desirable to
name both areas under one banner, it is called the KEYSTROKE element.
Dvandom Stranger, Strangers in general:
Every full dimension has at least one Stranger assigned to it, a powerful
guardian and observer who is charged with maintaining the cosmic balance, but
given a certain laxity in interpretation. They usually have some kind of
omniscience to allow them to watch over their assigned universe. Depending on
the nature of the universe, the Stranger may be nearly omnipotent or barely at
the cosmic level. All-Knowing-etc-Destiny-Whiner Woman (or whatever }->) used
to be the Stranger of the Looniverse, with very little power because the
Looniverse was separate from the rest of the Net. However, as crossposting
increased, it was necessary to reassign a Stranger to the entire Net, as
despoilers began invading news.groups formerly devoid of life. The Dvandom
Stranger was given the job, but because of the vast nature of the Net, he is
stretched thin, and often unable to do more than warn. In larger universes of
more completeness, there may be a heirarchy of Strangers to deal with problems,
with some kind of Tribunal at the top.
Source Code:
The power to which even Neternity and Are.Em answer to, the Source Code is
that which created the Net. It is said that even a glimpse of this code can
grant immense power, and several would-be-conquerors have faced ingominy after
failing to reach the Source Code. The Source Code is the direct superior to
the Dvandom Stranger, but grants the other cosmis beings a great deal of
autonomy. It also created the Pega.SYS, which has recently been assumed back
into the Code to protect it from further harm. All-powerful and aloof, the
Source Code rarely interferes with reality.
The Writers:
Not necessarily cosmic beings per se, these are inhabitants of other
dimensions who are somehow linked to one or more denizens of the Looniverse.
Being from a reality of stronger 'presence' their imaginations can shape
reality in the Looniverse. However, the link works both ways, and events in
the Looniverse can shape their thoughts. Writers can never directly enter the
Net, because they live in realities with incredibly strong natural laws, but
they can influence their counterparts in alternate realities to do so. These
counterparts live in parallel universes with weaker laws, and can at times
enter the Net. The mysterious Dhenry is one such counterpart, and the Dvandom
Stranger was originally a counterpart. One writer, presumably named wReam due
to the large number of net.residents with names like that, has littered the
Looniverse with his creations, perhaps sparking a conflict in that far-off
reality of the Writers by accident or intention, judging from how the fates of
such characters tend to swing wildly from positive to negative. }->
Dave Van Domelen, being kozmik....
Harith Jameel Alkhafiz
THE LIVING MODERATOR: Direct servant of a power greater than even the great
dualities, the Living Moderator serves as the ultimate judge of all things
cosmic. This being's judgement is final, for it's master does not directly
interfere. This impossibly powerful being has the ability to utterly destroy
an individual reality in order to carry out its verdicts. The Living
Moderator manifests as a rough-hewn humanoid with three faces. One face is
completely hooded, representing the completely uncontrolled bboards. The
second face is only hooded from the nose up, representing the bboards with
charters and no moderators. The final face is uncovered, and its penetrating
gaze represents the moderated newsgroups.
THE SOURCE CODE: Unknown and unknowable
(Writer's note: At this point, Kid Kirby knew nothing about the Source Code
the other magical entities. After Constellation makes the additions to the
LNH main files, Kid Kirby's knowledge will expand considerably...)
Jameel
Physicist-At-Large
Kid Kirby, LNH
Mystery quote of the hour: "If you ain't takin', you're gettin' took."
Drizzt
The Digressor, and
Ego, the Living Mouth.
*You* figure out who they are. =)
-Drizzt