"The Date" (a short X-Factor tale...)
Kielle
By Kelly Newcomb (kie...@aol.com)
Walllll, it's my first upload, I'm testing the waters...drop me a line and
say whatcha think! In return, I can offer editing services for some of
your own work, if you like -- I do it for a living, trust me...
Written in the hey-day of the new X-Factor, back when life was good and
Peter
David was God. :) If anyone out there actually wants to take a crack at
what
actually HAPPENS on this particular blind date (any rating), I would
LOOOOVE to see it. In fact, I'd probably even want to put it up on my
website! Any takers? <G>
The characters and setting of this tall tale (pun intended) are the sole
undisputed
property of Marvel, and I ain't gonna make any money from this silly
little scribble. It's not my fault they never thought of such a cool
story idea on their own. <GRIN> Nothing gets destroyed and no one comes
back from the dead, sorry kids! Oh, and hey, Marvel? BRING BACK STRONG
GUY!!!!!!!!!
"Lorna, have I ever told you how much I LOVE green hair? I mean,
I
REALLY love green hair. It looks great. What kind of shampoo do you
use?"
Lorna Dane pushed a tangle of green curls out of her eyes and
looked
sharply up from the spy novel she was reading. "Okay, Jamie, what do you
want," she said resignedly.
Jamie Madrox managed a struck, innocent look, but the
up-to-something
twinkle in his brown eyes ruined the effect. As usual. "Me? Want? Why,
I
was just..."
With a sigh, Lorna set the novel on her knees with one slim finger
holding
her place. "Just ask so I can get on with this book, okay? I don't feel
like
putting up with your shenanigans today."
"Well, if you put it that way..." Her teammate immediately became
all
business. "I need you to do me a little favor. Call this number and ask
for
Jennifer. Then tell her..."
"You in girl trouble?" Lorna asked, not letting him finish.
"No, actually, I'm setting up a blind date for Guido."
Lorna narrowed her eyes at him. "This isn't a joke, is it? Are
you setting
him up with one of the Hell's Belles or a lady MLFer or something like
that? I
wouldn't put it past you to..."
Jamie threw up his hands in self-defense. "Hey, no way! Guido's
my
buddy! This is a GREAT match for him! It's just for a nice night on the
town,
dinner, a chance to swap stories..."
Lorna cut him off. "So if it's so clean-cut, why do *I* have to
call her for
you...?"
Jamie looked at his toes sheepishly. "Well, um, she knows me
pretty well,
and uh, I'm afraid she'll, um...
"Mmmmm? What? She'll what?"
"Uh, think I'm setting HER up for a joke."
"Mmmm hmm. Okay. I'll trust you this once, Madrox. If you're
pulling
my leg, I'll let Guido pound you into paste. ALL of you, dupe by
screaming
dupe." Lorna raised a hand, and the cordless telephone flitted across the
room
to land in her hand, yanked from the kitchen counter by her magnetic pull.
"Got
it?"
"Got it, Polaris ma'am. Now, dial THIS number..."
Across X-Factor's team headquarters at that exact same moment,
another
Jamie Madrox was waiting impatiently outside a bathroom door.
"C'mon, Guido, I'm telling you, she's gorgeous AND smart AND has a
personality you wouldn't believe! And she's really your type, I'm
serious."
"You mentioned a boyfriend," a voice boomed from within the
bathroom,
over the shower's spray. "And I'm still seeing Sean, remember?"
"It's okay," Jamie called back. "The boyfriend is out of town,
and I STILL
don't believe you're seeing Sean Young on the side. Besides, this would
just be
a nice dinner date. No shenanigans. I'm not really setting you up for
romance,
more like for a good new friend."
"But I'm paying for the food, right?"
"I guess so. That's the polite thing to..."
"Then it's a date." Inside, the water stopped running and Jamie
could hear
the shower stall door racket open and thump against the tile behind it.
Hard.
"This doesn't sound like such a hot idea."
Jamie shrugged -- rather needlessly, as his only audience was some
dirty
laundry piled outside the bathroom door. "Aw, come ON, don't you trust me
on this?"
The door opened with a billow of steam. Guido looked down at him
from
about three feet over Jamie's head, his only wisp of hair plastered to his
wet
forehead. "No," he said briefly. He vanished back into the steamy
bathroom,
shutting the door behind him again.
Jamie grinned. Guido couldn't dodge around talking to him about
this that
easily. There was no way in hell the big lug could avoid him for long --
as
Multiple Man, Jamie was VERY good at always being underfoot.
Besides, in about, oh, three seconds, "Strong Guy" was going to
discover
that Jamie had previously taken the time to filch every single towel from
the
bathroom.
"I still think this is a bad idea," Guido muttered to the bouquet
of flowers
nearly hidden my his massive paw, "but what the hell. How much could a
jealous boyfriend do to me? Besides ruin my reputation..." He considered
that
for a moment. "Naah." He politely tapped the call button by the elevator.
Nice
place, he thought appreciatively - and this was only the second floor. The
young
lady lived in the penthouse.
"Hello?" a female voice spoke from the grille.
"Hello, ma'am. I believe I am your date for tonight?"
"Ah. Yes. What's your name, please? Can't be too careful, you
know."
"Guido. Just Guido."
There was a slight pause. "Yes, that's what Lorna told me over
the phone.
Hang on, I'll be right down."
Guido leaned against the wall and prepared to wait. He'd heard
that "be
right down" line before. It usually meant a little longer than that, but
hey, he was
patient.
Up above in the apartment, Jennifer took a last glance in the
mirror by the
door to check her hair. There was one unruly lock hanging right in her
eyes, but
after a moment's thought she decided to leave it alone there. She never
bothered to pin it up on the job, why should she now? This guy would just
have
to deal with her as she was. Otherwise, he wasn't worth the time.
She smiled wickedly to herself as she grabbed her purse. It was
always
kinda fun to see how new people reacted to her. It was becoming almost a
hobby.
Jennifer wondered briefly if Lorna had told the poor guy how much
he
knew he was in for. Guido, huh? Sounded big and dumb. But from what
little
she'd heard of his voice, she suspected that there was more to him than
met the
ear.
She certainly hoped so.
The elevator door slid soundlessly open, and Guido and Jennifer
stood
face to face for a long, silent moment.
Which was odd, because Guido stood at 7'1 tall, and he'd never met
a
women yet who could nearly look him in the eye.
Until now.
"Haven't I seen you on a magazine cover?" he asked at last,
stepping aside
to let her out of the elevator.
"Once, maybe. Haven't I seen you on the news...? Lorna didn't
tell me
you were one of her X-Factor teammates. Strong Guy, right?"
"Guido, please."
"Guido." Jennifer smiled. "I thought the name sounded a little
familiar."
She held out a hand. He shook it gently in his own massive palm,
although
he really needn't have worried about harming it. "Well, I'm very pleased
to meet
you, Miss Walters. May I call you She-Hulk?"
She frowned slightly. "Please, no, not on a date."
"How about 'Shulkie,' then?" Guido asked with a mischievous
twinkle in his
eyes behind his heavy glasses.
"God, no. Or I'll start calling you Wise Guy."
"But he's..."
"...my genius brother," they both quipped together. Jennifer
laughed and
swatted at his shoulder with a finely-manicured green hand which had been
known to flatten buildings. "I've heard about your wisecracking, and
believe me,
I'm prepared."
"Sounds like Jamie was right about you," Guido said.
Jennifer started. "Uh-oh. Jamie...Madrox?"
"Yep. He said you know him?"
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Unfortunately. I was in the
Fantastic
Four and he hung around the F.F. for a while. Shows up at reunions once
in a
while -- at least, ONE of him does. I still owe him for some spiked
punch. But
I don't get it, it was Lorna who arranged this...ah. Yes. The little
sneak.
Probably blackmailed her into doing his dirty work."
Guido shrugged. "More likely he simply annoyed her into it. But
this time,
I don't think we should kill him. What do you think?"
"I think," Jennifer said, accepting the flowers he held
courteously out to her,
"that this is going to be great fun." Out of the blue, she looked up away
from him
and shook her finger at thin air. "You'd better not be recording this,
Byrne -- if
Wyatt sees it..."
Guido scratched his head and stared blankly about. "Who are you
talking
to, Jen?"
She turned an innocent look on him. "Just a friend."
Comprehension dawned on his face. "Ah. Yes, I see. Your
writer?"
Jennifer's expression melted into one of unabashed surprise.
"You...know...? You understand?!?"
"Of course." He opened the door to the street and held it open
for her,
insisting upon being a gentleman. "You wouldn't BELIEVE the grief Peter
David
puts ME through..."