X-men: Subreality Strip Poker (based on Kielle's work) by Bones
TheKeenGuy
There ya go! A continuation of where Kielle's Subreality Hopscotch left
off. A Bones Point for the first person who can name the turqiose fella.
And a couple Bones Points if you can mention the several fanfics mentioned
or alluded to. There are about seven or so of them.
Bones
Subreality Strip Poker 2/1
Written by Bones
Concept by Kielle
<Zort-hack-phht-sss>
Logan was spit from a protruding rip of light to double over upon the
stoop of a structure. Expecting the usual abode, he found his presumptions
to be false. Instead, he stood and made his way into the saloon presented
to him.
Upon his entrance, a beckon came to Logan, "Hey, Wolvie-san! Haul yer
bones over!"
Logan had hoped for a moment that he had taken to Madripoor, but the
setting and crowd, in no way oriental, gave that notion to the dogs. Logan
sat at the table he was beckoned to, which also contained Remy LeBeau,
Wade Wilson costumed from the waist down and a man of turqoise skin
entirely disrobed. Cards were being dealt, and five of their numbers
landed at Logan's place.
Remy looked over to Wade, "Got any threes?"
Wade responded, "Go fish."
Logan dropped his cards to the table just as soon as he had picked them
up, "The hell are you guys playin?"
Remy leaned back and bawled, "Oui, we're yankin ya. Sorry, c'est
poker."
"I'll take two," Wade dropped a duo of card on the table.
"We ain't bettin?" Logan inquired.
"Non, not in dis game," Remy replied, "Though I might need some cash
where I go next."
Logan laid down four cards and flipped an ace, "And where would that
be?"
Remy's eyes diverted and eventually landed on a turquoise palm dropping
a trio card onto the table, "Three."
Logan took notice, "And who is Blue in the birthday suit?"
"De man's name is Jon," Remy commented, "He knows what cards everyone
has, but still loses an' accuses us of cheatin."
"Omniscent bastich," Wade tagged on, scratching at his barren putty
chest.
Logan stared over to Wade, and Wade soon began staring back, "What?"
"Put on a damn tarp," Logan remarked looking over Wade's cancer-ridden
bst and torso.
"Yer always a rat-bastard, ani'tcha?" Wade bitterly spurt, "I miss the
day I just ran a damn sword through your chest."
"Yeah, well how many other times have we met?" Logan mentioned.
Wade murmurred, "More than ya think."
Remy jumped in, "Dealer has a full house. Wade has two pair. Jon, oh, a
straight flush. Tres chic. And Logan..."
Logan looked down at his hand, containing high card ace, "I got
nothin."
"Okay, lose somethin, Logan," Remy instructed as he gathered the cards.
"What's that again?" Logan inquired.
"Well, ain't that Strongman over there?" Wade squinted.
"Guido, oui. I saw him on de way in," Remy stated without looking back,
"I didn't recognize the green chick, but who knows these days."
Wade leaned back, "I recall a bar much like this one. He and his
X-buddies were here along with those Freedom Force fellas."
"When did dat happen?" Remy wondered.
"A few days ago. The bar was almost completely totalled," Wade looked
around, "In fact, I'm pretty this is the exact same bar. It looks kinda
quaint without the mayhem and all."
"How can this be the same bar if..." Logan began.
"Hey Logan, ya gotta take somethin off," Remy pressed again.
"Hey guys, I think I gotta split," Wade mentioned peering down.
"Take something off? Why?" Logan rebuttled.
Wade gazed down, "Yeah, looks like I'm having a little heart-to-heart
with another blue guy. Another damn bar. Hope they got Harvey
Wallbangers," Wade continued.
"Ya got de lowest hand. Therefore, remove an article of clothin," Remy
insisted.
"Well, I'm off again," Wade made his farewell as a shining rip tore
from the floor beneath him. Both Wade and his chair dropped through and
vanished.
"Great, now we only got three players," Remy barked, "Here, take off
yer shirt."
Logan stared at the empty place on the floor that used to to a chair
with Wade, and for seconds, had opened to let Wade slip in like Logan had
known that he had done before. Had he missed it?
Logan pointed to the floor, "Do you know about this?"
Remy nodded, "Oh yeah, I've been shot around. We all have. What, ya
thought ye're the only one? A bit egoiste of ya. I just came from this
great one. Rogue and a candlestick. Tres formidable."
Jon spoke solemnly for a moment to Logan, "It will be your turn in half
a minute."
Logan passed it off, "Yeah, sure. So what exactly was she doin with the
candlestick?"
Remy flinched over to a spot behind Logan, "I think ya better get goin,
Logan. It'll probably open over dere."
Logan stood, removed his shirt, dropped it on the table and began to
walk off.
"Oh, Logan!" Remy added, "Remember you an' me in those Morlock
tunnels?"
Logan turned his head, "Yeah, I should've let Lee know about that.
She'd've been proud of managing to've killed me."
Remy nodded, "Yeah, well next time, I think it's de same guy."
"Same guy?" Logan questioned, "What're you talkin about?"
Remy shrugged, "Nevermind. Get goin."
Logan turned and almost rammed headlong into a green haired man, but
the gazing tear cut Logan off and he was gone.
*
<Zut-nyet-bamf-ahso>
Bishop. He was kind of hard for Logan to miss. His chest span was
almost as massive as Logan himself. Cable was also kind of hard to miss,
though he was about ten more yards away and, unlike Bishop, was not waving
weapons around recklessly. Bishop finally set his aim on Logan.
"Cut."
Logan stared around for the source, "Cut?"
A man appeared on the scene from nowhere, not even accompanied by a rip
of light. He was nowhere near the size of the other two men, but had much
presence to hmself.
The man spoke, "Right, this is getting to be a tad too reminiscent of
an X-cutioner's Song-type-thing. So, we'll let Cable exit, stage left."
A tearing light opened behind Cable, and he dropped into it leaving no
trace.
The man went on, "And let's give it a homely X-mansion setting."
The scenery dissolved into a corridor of the mansion.
"Whoa," Logan shook, "What'd I miss?"
"Nothing," the man smirked, "I am Bones. Greetings and salutations."
"Right, sure. Now that we're all the dearest of friends, may I please
have a few blanks filled in?" Logan pleaded.
"Well, you don't really serve too much of a functuion in this. You
really don't need too much of a briefing," Bones remarked.
"You ain't leavin me in the dark here, bub," Logan made a throaty
warning.
Bones stepped over to Logan, "Look, I want to get this take while it is
still fresh in my mind. Afterwards, we can have a nice little conversation
about your dilemma. Until then, just stand right there."
Logan grinned, "All I have to do is stand right here."
Bones nodded, "Dasit! Now you've got it."
Logan tapped a foot, "Awright, Mr. Bones. Now what happens?"
"You stand right there," Bones faded away, "And the bullets fly!"
Bishop snapped to and the bullets flew.
"Stuntdouble! Makeup! Mother!" Logan cried just before his bombardment
by several rounds of slugs.
Bones came into view once again, "Beautiful! I really think I'm going
to cry."
Logan, riddled in a pool of blood on the corridor's floor, groaned, "I
think... I'm cryin too."
A shining tear began to open, and Bones jumped to it, "Oh no, this
better not be Manchild again! I keep telling him that it was Charro, but
he is still pushing for royalties!"
A body stepped through the portal, revealed to be the cajun of the bar,
"Bonjour. C'est moi."
"Well, voila," Bones stepped off, "And action."
"Hey, Logan. Is tha..." Remy sputtered before having his face blown
half off inside the headguard and having his body's momentum carry him
back into the tear. Bishop began to trek down the corridor. As he passed
Cyclops entering from a rip, Bishop snapped Scott's neck and the rip
closed again on the Summers.
With the action receeding away, Bones leaned against the wall right
beside where Logan was attempting to pull himself up, "This has really got
to be one of the best suckers I've scripted in a long while."
Logan gasped, "If I'm dead, why am I not out of here yet?"
"Oh, your not dead yet," Bones informed Logan, "Warren will slay you in
a few minutes, but you'll be unconscious by then."
Logan choked up, "Why are you... doing this to me?"
"Oh, it's all in the name of good fiction," Bones lectured, "See, you
are pretty much just a pawn. A figment that I and my associates may molest
in any way we see fit."
"You'll never... get away.. with it," Logan muttered.
Bones laughed, "Of course not. Eventually the copyrights will be
enforced and there will be intervention. But until that time, we are
having a ball."
Logan wheezed, "You're sick."
"Oh yeah. I am entirely warped. Worst of the bunch," Bones smirked,
"But, I am just a guy with a dream. And that dream involves as much gore
and carnage as feasable, then so be it."
"Wrathous bastard," Logan stated upon collapsing to the floor again.
"Be glad where you are now," Bones mentioned, "It could always be
worse."
It seemed like Bones was fading, but Logan realized it was only the
haze of his eyes blurring, "How c-could it... possibly be worse?"
Bones lips moved, but the low din of the words were hard to make out,
"...ice tai..."
And all was gone.
Chigee
You are sooo bad Bones.
MLC AUTHOR
A shining tear began to open, and Bones jumped to it, "Oh no, this
better not be Manchild again! I keep telling him that it was Charro, but
he is still pushing for royalties!"
And Wade is ofcourse Dead Man Wade, but I have no idea who the turquoise
guy is. Oh well.
And Bones? You are TRULY one sick puppy! (Though I did enjoy Cyke getting
his head snapped off.)
Image, the horseman of illusion, telepathy, telekinisis; patron saint of students, writers, and all around basic nice people who get pushed back behind everyone else (long enough?)