WIP - The Quakes - The Thief and The Fuckwit

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Kevin Anderson

Mar 21, 2022, 1:55:40 AM3/21/22
Chapter 64 - Jeff Bridges becomes the the thief for The Blondes.

Jeff pulled his raft up on the shore at Long Beach, and told some teenagers playing hacky sack, that they could have his raft. He then headed to the 7-11, got a medium cherry Slurpee, and went out to the payphone.

1-800-EAT-SHIT he dialed.


"Jeff, how yah doin' sexy."

"The usual."

"Broke and drunk with a Slurpee and a cigarette?"


"Wanna be our spy?"

"Fuck no… I'm your thief, and I'm gunna steal all the wheels of those assholes at Chuck E. Cheese."

"You're on. Conditional upon them having no wheels in about 2 hours."

"See you at Chili's."

Chapter 65 - The next set of Debi/Ed taunts.


"Whattayah want Ed?" said Debi.

"You drunk?" said Ed?

"Even if I were you wouldn't get any, Whaddahyahwant?"

"I'm naming the ship after you."

"Bitch?" said Debi?

"No, the "Make Me A Sandwich, Bitch!" Arnie's painting it right now!"

"Tell Arnie that it should have a picture of your dumb ass on the main sail."

Ed smiled. "Faye Dunaway's steady is workin' on it right now."

"If we break your mainmast? Can we bury you at sea?"

Ed smiled again. He doesn't win these often, Debi was tired from driving.

"Only if you dress up like a mermaid with a cigar."

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