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"VideO Madness" (Re: Announcement - Friendly Neighbourhood Vote Wrangler - Awards and various other issues.) "Lets have a Blast!!!..."

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Colonel Jake

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Dec 13, 2009, 1:37:44 AM12/13/09
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Friendly Neighbourhood Vote Wrangler <fn...@databasix.com>
<news:hfura0$afo$1...@blackhelicopter.databasix.com>
:
: It is with great fanfare, pomp, circumstance and dignity that
: I make this formal announcement.
:
: As of this moment I am in caretakership of the FNVW position
: and take with that position all of the perks, benefits,
: prerequisites, benefices and honors that go with the position
: of FNVW.
:
: So...unless I get some valid objection, my first decree will
: be Flash� <ScarletS...@fastest.man.alive.org> be awarded
: a Tinfoil Sombrero.
:
: You don't take the position of FNVW...it is and has always
: been a benevolent dictatorship handed down lovingly from one
: kookologist to another. If you had any klue, and it is oh so
: fucking painfully obvious you do not, you would know this. To
: think you could just take such a high office is sacrilege.
:
: Now...on to new, and old business.
:
: This place is a mess.
: So...we need to pick up the pieces, dust things off, and get
: our virtual ducks in a row.
:
: *Awards*
: As of right now the month of December will be a catch all for
: any and all awards that should have been given since the last
: official awards month. So...if you have a K00k and you
: believe your K00k is a contender put that nomination here in
: this thread.
:
: I would like to nominate the following:
:
: E-mUtt - Tony Sidaway "Drama Queen" Award
: Mad as a box of frogs - Kluck Lysaght "Tar & Feathers" Award
: Lady Veteran - Black Knight Award - Hasn't been given out in
: a while and she certainly seems to deserve it.
: Greg Hall - Kook of the Year
:
: If you have any nominations make them or any old business
: that needs attention let me know.
:

All Hail!,
"Teh Friendly NeighbourhoOd Vote Wrangler!!!..."
(for he hace much greatness)

I'll certainly?,
"Bring up Bozo de Niro's unfinished koOk bizz to our
attention sometime later!!!..."

--

Colonel Jake - Teh Jake'ster

"VideO Madness" "Lets have a Blast!!!..."


COlOnel Jake Enterprises�
Presents
(http://www.coloneljake.com/videos/0017/)


Colonel Jake'sters:

'Plain-Azzed-Texted' Signature - High Speed
(http://www.coloneljake.com/pages/page200/)

'Plain-Azzed-Texted' Signature - Dialup
(http://www.coloneljake.com/pages/page201/)

AUK Pardon & Franchise Restored
(http://www.coloneljake.com/pages/page018/)

Order of Lenin for Usefulness
(http://www.coloneljake.com/pages/page017/)

Official Alt.Usenet.KoOks der'KoOkshite
(http://www.kookpedia.net/index.php/Alt.usenet.kooks)

�,.,�
:And then some...
`^'^�

:
: --
: www.kookpedia.net
:

<from Teh BoOk of Colonel Jake'ster>

Colonel Jake 3:1 - "Thats for GoDDAMNED sure!!!..."


"The Great One"

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Dec 13, 2009, 5:07:44 AM12/13/09
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"Colonel Jake" <Sergea...@comcast.net> wrote in message
>
> I like to throw shit on the bars of my cage.
> --
> Colon Jake - Teh ass-kisser

Do tell.....
--
John C.

Colonel Jake

unread,
Dec 13, 2009, 9:38:30 PM12/13/09
to

All Hail!,
"Teh Friendly Neighbourhood Vote Wrangler!!!..."


(for he hace much greatness)

Teh following messages & MIDs?,
"Are from last June of 2008, and teh problem is?!?!?!,....,
teh nominated never made it to teh official AUK Vote Ballot
due to some reason(s) that?!?!?!,...., teh former FNVW never
got anybody's nominations up from that point onto teh Vote
Ballot(s)!!!,...., so I 'suggest' that Bozo de Niro of
Alt.Comedy.Standup's previous nomination of Alt.Usenet.KoOks
'Coward of the Month' Award (that was seconded and accepted),
be on teh next official AUK Vote Ballot!!!..."

*please read carefully below*

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

<> Date: Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:09:40 +1000
<>
<> Subject: Re: NOMINATION:
<> Coward of the Month - Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup
<> (was Re: Dentry's Irish Pub Thursdays Comedy Show with
<> Paul Myrehaug)
<>
<> Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks,
<> rec.arts.marching.drumcorps,
<> alt.comedy.standup,
<> alt.life.sucks,
<> ba.broadcast,
<> soc.culture.jewish,
<> alt.acting,
<> van.general,
<> bc.general,
<> sci.psychology.psychotherapy

Bob Larter <bobby...@gmail.com>
Message-ID: <h2c6j0$smt$1...@blackhelicopter.databasix.com>
>
> T h � M u n t d r � g g � r <TheMunt...@GoogleMail.Com>
> Message-ID: <h1oqak$e0p$1...@tioat.net>
>>
>> Colonel Jake <Sergea...@comcast.net>
>> Message-ID: <h1oplh$ib7$1...@blackhelicopter.databasix.com>
>>>
>>> <An Official Alt.Usenet.KoOks Award Description>
>>> <>
>>> <> -Monthly Core Award-
>>> <>
>>> <> Coward of the Month
>>> <>
>>> <> Given to the best (as in, most noticeable) sockpuppeteer
>>> <> of the month. Anyone of any kind who uses a sockpuppet can
>>> <> get it; like the HL&S this award is not necessarily
>>> <> reserved for Kooks! You can nominate either the sockpuppet
>>> <> or if you know the real name behind it that person; either
>>> <> way, the sockpuppeteer gets just credit. The award is also
>>> <> given to people who don't follow up on threats. Or respond
>>> <> to hard questions. Or other cowardly acts AUK can be
>>> <> convinced of.
>>> <>
>>> <> Also, given to the most cowardly, yellow-bellied Usenet
>>> <> chicken of the month. Anyone who meets the current month's
>>> <> eligibility bar can get it; like the HL&S and the
>>> <> Palmjob Paddle, this award is not necessarily reserved for
>>> <> Kooks!
>>> <>
>>> <> Those who hide behind pseudoanonymous sockpuppets, to say
>>> <> and do things they would not normally say or do as
>>> <> 'themselves', usually make good candidates; you can
>>> <> nominate either the sockpuppet or if you know the real
>>> <> name behind it that person; either way, the sockpuppeteer
>>> <> gets just credit.
>>> <>
>>> <> This award is also given to people who don't follow up on
>>> <> threats. Or respond to hard questions. Or other cowardly
>>> <> acts AUK can be convinced of.
>>> <>
>>> </An Official Alt.Usenet.KoOks Award Description>
>>>
>>> -or-
>>>
>>> <(http://www.coloneljake.com/AUK/AAD/)>
>>>
>>>
>>> Bozo de Niro <Bozo_D...@37.com> of alt.comedy.standup
<cffb2b8a-9fc6-432d...@x29g2000prf.googlegroups.com>
>>> <(http://www.kookpedia.net/index.php/Bozo_DeNiro)>
>>>>
>>>> �G�l�k Z.L.F Buday AKA The Black Jester�, AKA etc....�
>>>> <mentalmid...@slave.stopnwo.gubnah.state.us.wa.gov>
>>>> <news:4a3e9296...@shawnews.vc.shawcable.net>
>>>> <4a3e9296...@shawnews.vc.shawcable.net>
>>>>>
>>>>> X-Body
>>>>>
>>>>> �Type: Music/Arts - Performance
>>>>> �Network: Global
>>>>> �Start Time: Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 4:15pm
>>>>> �End Time: Friday, June 26, 2009 at 7:15pm
>>>>> �Location: Dentry's Irish Pub
>>>>> �Street: 4450 WEST 10 TH AVE
>>>>> �City/Town: Vancouver, BC
>>>>> � View Map
>>>>> �Phone: 18778260339
>>>>> �Email: bookings at comedynightlife.com
>>>>> �
>>>>> �Description
>>>>> �Note: SUMMER HOURS SHOW STARTS 9:45PM TO 10:15PM
>>>>> �
>>>>> �It's Thursday again and we are back at Dentry's Irish
>>>>> �Pub once again for another crazy night of comedy, music
>>>>> �and fun times. We got Adam Pateman as the MC,
>>>>> �Paul Myrehaug as Headliner.
>>>>> �
>>>>> �Come on down to Dentry's Irish Pub this Thursday Night.
>>>>> �What else you gonna do!
>>>>> �
>>>>> �June 25th, 2009 - M/C: Adam Pateman
>>>>> �
>>>>> �(not in order of appearance)
>>>>> �
>>>>> �1. Marlo Franson
>>>>> �2. Nic Roy
>>>>> �3. TBA
>>>>> �4. TBA
>>>>> �5. TBA
>>>>> �6. TBA
>>>>> �
>>>>> �June 25th, 2009 - Headliner: Paul Myrehaug
>>>>> �
>>>>> �There will be some drop in comics as well as you never
>>>>> �know who will want time as it is comedy night once again
>>>>> �at The Dentry's Irish Pub
>>>>> �
>>>>> �Dentry's Irish Pub
>>>>> �4450 WEST 10TH AVE,Vancouver, BC
>>>>> �
>>>>> �(www.maddogstudioscomedy.com)
>>>>>
>>>>> --- GZLFB, aka TBJ
>>>>> (http://www.tmetonline.net/http://www.blackjester.com/)
>>>>>
>>>> Golok, seriously, do you know how weird and annoying your
>>>> formatting is?
>>>>
>>>> Do you ever see any similarities in the way you post your
>>>> noxious annoying content and style to say that of
>>>> Colon Jake's?
>>>>
>>>> Have you two ever thought of eloping?
>>>>
>>>> -BdN-
>>>>
>>> <->
>>> <-> Sent: Monday, January 19, 2009 8:05 PM
>>> <-> Bozo de Niro <Bozo_D...@37.com> of alt.comedy.standup
<1bec0a58-ff12-4360...@z27g2000prd.googlegroups.com>
>>> <-> :
>>> <-> : Hey Jake, listen to me, I don't like you, I don't want
>>> <-> : you following me around on the internet. Do you
>>> <-> : understand me. Do you hear me you dumb fuck! I'm not
>>> <-> : kidding. Tell me where you live you dumb asshole, I
>>> <-> : will come visit you and tell you to your face if that's
>>> <-> : what you want. I don't want you following me around to
>>> <-> : other newsgroups you creepy retard. Do you understand
>>> <-> : me ASSHOLE. I don't like you. Stop following me around.
>>> <-> : If you want to take this as a threat GO AHEAD. STOP
>>> <-> : FOLLOWING ME AROUND ON THE INTERNET! AND ESPECIALLY
>>> <-> : STOP CROSS POSTING WITH MY NAME IN YOUR STUPID SUBJECT
>>> <-> : LINES. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME! BOTHER SOMEBODY ELSE.
>>> <-> :
>>>
>>> <USENET? pay special attention to teh following>
>>>
>>> <-> : BUT DON'T BOTHER ME OR USE MY NAME IN YOUR STUPID POST
>>> <-> : OR SUBJECT LINES ANYMORE. I'M NOT KIDDING. I'M NOT
>>> <-> : JOKING AROUND. BELIEVE ME.
>>> <-> :
>>> <->
>>>
>>> OK! (Bozo),
>>> "Since you replied to G�l�k Z.L.F Buday!!!,....,
>>> referring to me!!! (after pleading to me about leaving YoU
>>> CoMPLETELY oUT of ALL my poastesesses (and altering my own
>>> nym in teh process (poasting behind my back (hoping I wouldnt
>>> catch it (still using an 'Windows 98' Operating System
>>> (emailing me by means of 'Reply to Sender,' instead of
>>> replying to USENET (stalking me and my family by means of
>>> telephone harrassment (poasting my family's personal
>>> information (WHOIS'ing my domain, and not realizing? that
>>> there are more than one domain on that 1and1.com account
>>> (still using GoOgle cause you're toO scarred to use a real
>>> newsserver (ect., et cetera, ect,.)))))))))),....,
>>> I Colonel Jake NOMINATE you
>>> (Bozo de Niro of alt.comedy.standup), for an Alt.Usenet.KoOks
>>> 'Coward of the Month' Award,...., and at this time?!?!?!,...,
>>> I ask teh denizens of USENET for an 'seconds,' ....,
>>> 'will anybody 'SECOND,' this NOMINATION?!?!?!.' .."
>>>
>>
>> Hell yeah Colonel. Consider the yellow bellied fucktard well
>> and truly SECONDED.
>>
>
> Nomination ACCEPTED.
>
> --
> W
> . | ,. w , "Some people are alive only because it is illegal
> \|/ \|/ to kill them." Perna condita delenda est
> --^----^-------------------------------------------------------
>

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =


JeePee

unread,
Dec 16, 2009, 12:45:10 PM12/16/09
to
On behalf of the sane part of usenet I would like to say:
Shut The Fuck Up!!!

--
--
JeePee

And HEY!!
Let's be careful out there.
- Sgt. Phil Esterhaus -

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Tommy Joe

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Dec 17, 2009, 1:56:34 AM12/17/09
to

JeePee wrote: To Colonel Jake


>
>
> On behalf of the sane part of usenet I would like to say:
> Shut The Fuck Up!!!


I believe the colonel and bozo know each other from the alt.kooks
newsgroup or whatever it's called. I checked it out once on the
suggestion of someone I will not mention. I didn't like the place.
There is something disturbingly neurotic and egotistical and paranoid
about going around proudly calling yourself a kook. I think it's
great to be a kook as long as others see you that way, as long as you
earn it. But to go around calling yourself a kook is very egotistical
and delusional, sort of like those people who take countless IQ tests
so they can finally become a member of mensa and go around calling
themselves geniuses. So my guess with these spiteful exchanges
between Jake and Bozo come from their time in the alt.kooks network,
which ought to be called alt.delusional.

Tommy Joe

OllieN...@aol.com

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Dec 17, 2009, 7:33:44 AM12/17/09
to

Real kooks hate the label kook. Just ask Kukla fran and ...

spooge

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Dec 17, 2009, 9:34:03 PM12/17/09
to
Tommy Joe <jo...@bellsouth.net> wrote in news:f930831c-2cef-43a6-8269-
c18d05...@v25g2000yqk.googlegroups.com:

> JeePee wrote: To Colonel Jake
>>
>>
>> On behalf of the sane part of usenet I would like to say:
>> Shut The Fuck Up!!!
>
>
> I believe the colonel and bozo know each other from the alt.kooks
> newsgroup or whatever it's called. I checked it out once on the
> suggestion of someone I will not mention. I didn't like the place.
> There is something disturbingly neurotic and egotistical and paranoid
> about going around proudly calling yourself a kook.

Thanks for playing, kook.

--
"" The "pros" use viewers that dig right down to the serial number,
where it was purchased and if a credit card was used or a warranty card
filled out, who purchased it."

Some stupid fuck in MID:heuf5e$qgl$1...@undertow.eternal-september.org

Tommy Joe

unread,
Dec 18, 2009, 7:07:26 AM12/18/09
to

spooge wrote:
>
>
>
> > I believe the colonel and bozo know each other from the alt.kooks
> > newsgroup or whatever it's called. I checked it out once on the
> > suggestion of someone I will not mention. I didn't like the place.
> > There is something disturbingly neurotic and egotistical and paranoid
> > about going around proudly calling yourself a kook.
>
> Thanks for playing, kook.

> "" The "pros" use viewers that dig right down to the serial number,
> where it was purchased and if a credit card was used or a warranty card
> filled out, who purchased it."
>
> Some stupid fuck in MID:heuf5e$qgl$1...@undertow.eternal-september.org

Let me try to clear up the misunderstanding, caused by either bad
writing on my part or bad reading on yours. I never said there's
anything wrong with being proud of being a kook. I only said it must
be earned. Anyone can give themselves a title, but it's never real
unless it comes from someone else, or preferably a group of them.
People who call themselves kooks within the kook system have nothing
to brag about unless that title comes from people outside the kook
system. Just as police cannot police themselves, so too the kooks
cannot kook themselves.


Tommy Joe

JeePee

unread,
Dec 22, 2009, 3:56:22 PM12/22/09
to
Tommy Joe wrote:
>
> JeePee wrote: To Colonel Jake
>>
>> On behalf of the sane part of usenet I would like to say:
>> Shut The Fuck Up!!!
>
>
> I believe the colonel and bozo know each other from the alt.kooks
> newsgroup or whatever it's called. I checked it out once on the
> suggestion of someone I will not mention. I didn't like the place.
> There is something disturbingly neurotic and egotistical and paranoid
> about going around proudly calling yourself a kook. I think it's
> great to be a kook as long as others see you that way, as long as you
> earn it. But to go around calling yourself a kook is very egotistical
> and delusional, sort of like those people who take countless IQ tests
> so they can finally become a member of mensa and go around calling
> themselves geniuses.

LOL
I know someone who did that!!!

JeePee

unread,
Dec 22, 2009, 3:58:06 PM12/22/09
to
But what if you're a selfmade-kook? You'd have to nominate yourself.

Tommy Joe

unread,
Dec 23, 2009, 3:53:00 AM12/23/09
to

JeePee wrote:
> Tommy Joe wrote:
> >
> > JeePee wrote: To Colonel Jake
> >>
> >> On behalf of the sane part of usenet I would like to say:
> >> Shut The Fuck Up!!!
> >
> >
> > I believe the colonel and bozo know each other from the alt.kooks
> > newsgroup or whatever it's called. I checked it out once on the
> > suggestion of someone I will not mention. I didn't like the place.
> > There is something disturbingly neurotic and egotistical and paranoid
> > about going around proudly calling yourself a kook. I think it's
> > great to be a kook as long as others see you that way, as long as you
> > earn it. But to go around calling yourself a kook is very egotistical
> > and delusional, sort of like those people who take countless IQ tests
> > so they can finally become a member of mensa and go around calling
> > themselves geniuses.


> LOL
> I know someone who did that!!!


In some form I think we all know someone who did something like
that, most likely ourselves. Taking a variety of IQ tests multiple
times can give a person a big IQ. But the only real way to test
someone's IQ is to put them in a life and death situation where they
still care about living and see how they handle it.

Tommy Joe

Tommy Joe

unread,
Dec 23, 2009, 4:00:48 AM12/23/09
to

JeePee wrote:
>
>
> But what if you're a selfmade-kook? You'd have to nominate yourself.


No man is an island. Yes, you may nominate yourself, but unless
someone other than yourself votes for you it doesn't count. Then you
are the warden of your own little prison within your own little
brain. People who think they're kooky are egotistical and delusional
and paranoid. But they're a creative bunch, I'll say that. Did you
notice the way they spell certain words. Like kook for instance, they
spell it KoOk, or something like that. Wow, that's really inventive
stuff.

Tommy Joe

JeePee

unread,
Dec 24, 2009, 3:42:26 PM12/24/09
to

I didn't do that, I passed first time around :p

Tommy Joe

unread,
Dec 24, 2009, 10:27:33 PM12/24/09
to

JeePee wrote:
>
> > In some form I think we all know someone who did something like
> > that, most likely ourselves. Taking a variety of IQ tests multiple
> > times can give a person a big IQ. But the only real way to test
> > someone's IQ is to put them in a life and death situation where they
> > still care about living and see how they handle it.

> I didn't do that, I passed first time around :p


But IQ tests can be studied so that each time you take one your
score might go up. My take on IQ tests is that the portions at which
I'm worse are the ones that truly depict a person's intelligence.
Like for instance, I'm not good at the spacial stuff, the ones where
you are given different pieces to a puzzle and ask to find the missing
part. I'm bad at that section of the IQ test. That leads me to
believe that that part of the test is likely the part that most
accurately tests a person's intelligence. Words and math are more
learned, but the visual tests are more natural. Unless you're blind
and have to do them in braille, that would not be easy.

Tommy Joe

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