Making a Full-Time Living Doing Stand-Up
Mitch Leary
talked to a few comedians, read a few books, and I just don't see how
anybody could make a living doing stand-up alone. And how can you
hold down even a part-time regular job and follow the real love of
your life, comedy?
Even if you "get-discovered", make a name for yourself, and so on, the
fame doesn't last. I'd love to break into the business but it just
doesn't seem to be something worth pursuing as a long distance goal.
How many comedians are still around that were doing it ten years ago.
Not too many.
How do you guys and girls support yourself between gigs? The pay you
make doing comedy can't possibly pay the bills. You'd make more
working at a McJob.
Just curious. Please don't take offense at anything I've said or
implied. I have the utmost respect for anybody who can find a way to
do what they truly love. I only wish I could do it.
-Leary-
STEP OVER
<-Leary-
Dear Leary,
You'd be surprised how many comedians are still around from 10 years ago or
more. We do make a good living and like any other job, we sell ourselves to
keep working. Personally, I have be doing this 26 years and plan to until
retirement. It's all in what you want and how far to follow your dreams. Good
luck
Al Katz
StandUpGuy
will have to get a day job to support your art. Personally I deliver
pizza. It's a great gig because my manager lets me dictate my
schedule in any way I choose. So the nights I'm not doing comedy I
deliver. If I get a call for a fill-in at a one-nighter or something
I can always have someone cover me at work but I don't always even
need that because we have so many drivers that one less isn't a big
deal. The problem with comedy is that most rooms are weekend rooms so
your week is shot unless you can constantly fill it with a string of
one-nighters or something.
mitchel...@yahoo.com (Mitch Leary) wrote in message news:<6d258eab.03122...@posting.google.com>...
SUZY SORO
working. Personally, I have be doing this 26 years<<
I think you have to define making a living for people like Leary. If Leary is
single, living in a moderate size city, is a feature or an opener, has a house
payment, car payment and health insurance, sorry, but standup isn't going to
pay his bills. Unless he ends up doing cruise ships or corporates, he's going
to founder without some kind of job.
Now if Leary has a wife who makes a good living and all the above is in place,
Leary will make it.
I'm at it 20 years and the last 3 I've been extremely fortunate and had a
financial boost. There are a lot of people on this board who have working
spouses/s.o.'s and that's the only way they can make it. But everytime I post
that, those people remain quiet because I think they think there's some sort of
shame involved in not making all the money from standup.
There isn't, but go tell that to some ego driven monster.
Suzy Soro
To my knowledge, maybe those of you who are single, with no working spouse,
inheritance etc can point the way for Leary. Slaight, for example?
Tommy Drake
-tommy
"Mitch Leary" <mitchel...@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:6d258eab.03122...@posting.google.com...
BetteDavis
I have done it the first few years as a reprieve from the horrors of
daily living, in order to keep me from jumping off a cliff, really.
Betharini
steve
>I have done it the first few years as a reprieve from the horrors of
>daily living, in order to keep me from jumping off a cliff, really.
>
>Betharini
This is soooooo going in the FAQ, if that's all right with you, Beth.
Happy Holidays. Don't hurt yourself.
That goes for all of you.
steve gelder
http://www.stevegelder.com
The FAQ for alt.comedy.standup is currently located at:
http://members.aol.com/comedyfaq/faq.html
Chandler Levrich
>From: TheBet...@msn.com (BetteDavis)
>I have done it the first few years as a reprieve from the horrors of
>daily living, in order to keep me from jumping off a cliff, really.
>
>Betharini
Now that would be funny if you lived in Nebraska.
Chandler, try the Palisaides
HENEGHEN
yes, meager but yes.
I've
> talked to a few comedians, read a few books, and I just don't see how
> anybody could make a living doing stand-up alone. And how can you
> hold down even a part-time regular job and follow the real love of
> your life, comedy?
it is a juggling act but you have to follow your heart.
>
> Even if you "get-discovered", make a name for yourself, and so on, the
> fame doesn't last.
but you can milk it for years. lots of comics doing clubs that havent
been on tv in a decade.
I'd love to break into the business but it just
> doesn't seem to be something worth pursuing as a long distance goal.
> How many comedians are still around that were doing it ten years ago.
just passed my ten year mark. lots of drop outs.
> Not too many.
> How do you guys and girls support yourself between gigs? The pay you
> make doing comedy can't possibly pay the bills. You'd make more
> working at a McJob.
but you would be dead.
>
> Just curious. Please don't take offense at anything I've said or
> implied. I have the utmost respect for anybody who can find a way to
> do what they truly love.
it is the only thing to do, what you love.. heneghen
BetteDavis
> Now that would be funny if you lived in Nebraska.
> Chandler, try the Palisaides.
Chandler, now I live to spend a prison cell night with you discussing
Whoopi's lingo. Now that would be entertainment .
Betharini
BetteDavis
> TheBet...@msn.com (BetteDavis) writes:
>
>
> >I have done it the first few years as a reprieve from the horrors of
> >daily living, in order to keep me from jumping off a cliff, really.
> >
> >Betharini
>
>
> This is soooooo going in the FAQ, if that's all right with you, Beth.
>
>
> Happy Holidays. Don't hurt yourself.
>
>
> That goes for all of you.
>
>
>
>
Nutcracker mom for the entire season. The holidays are whooshing past.
At least I get to zip up a few cute fellows (21 and over) costumes
back there as well. Ahem.
Yes, go ahead and put me in the faq, before I keel over with
holiday cheer.
Betharini
A madstork
kdm
Chandler Levrich
>From: TheBet...@msn.com (BetteDavis)
>Chandler, now I live to spend a prison cell night with you discussing
>Whoopi's lingo. Now that would be entertainment .
>
>Betharini
It was so weird when the cop shook my hand and said that nothing would go
further.
Chandler, and if ANYBODY wants to see the sweetest movie of the year, go see
Calendar Girls. Just delightful. If you are a depressive fuck and want to
suffer further, go see 21 Grams, the feel bad movie of the year, though I heard
that House of Sand and Fog is very close.
Stuart O. Bronstein
> I have done it the first few years as a reprieve from the
> horrors of daily living, in order to keep me from jumping off a
> cliff, really.
Beth, I know you well enough to know that you may have thought of
jumping off a cliff, but it was really just a bluff.
Stu
PJ DiSanti
spouses/s.o.'s and that's the only way they can make it. But everytime I
post
that, those people remain quiet because I think they think there's some sort
of
I am shameless, so I'll ask, how do I go about finding a woman that will
support me and my comedy habit?
I mean considering that I'm rather unattractive, ineffectual in bed, have a
tiny penis and an ego the size of Montana.
PJ
--
If the above content wasn't witty and brilliant in and of itself,
what makes you think some lameassed quotes by others will be any better?
Father Luke
Chandler Levrich wrote:
> If you are a depressive fuck and want to
>suffer further, go see 21 Grams, the feel bad movie of the year, though I heard
>that House of Sand and Fog is very close.
I want bad. Which would you say is worse ?
21 Grams or Sand and Fog ? Or do both ?
Happy happy joy joy . . . bwah.
Father Luke
MWaltFun
and eating well as my fat ass proves. Would'nt do anything else.
Mike Wally Walter
Cracker
Brad Slaight
>To my knowledge, maybe those of you who are single, with no working spouse,
>inheritance etc can point the way for Leary. Slaight, for example?
Every successful person I've worked with has a different story about what it
took to earn them even a modicum of success - sometimes through hard work,
sometimes through talent, but mostly it was just luck.
I've been called an "all rounder" by some because I do standup, work with a
comedy team, act, and write. Every time I got some success at any one of those
disciplines my friends would tell me to "focus on that one thing". I never
could.
It seems to be working for me to try to do all those things, but it might not
for someone else. Most performers or writers (or both) I know that do tough it
out and stay working in show business have one thing in common - they are never
where they want to be. It's never enough money, respect, power, or security.
There is always the fear that it could end tomorrow, because all around us we
see people who were once very successful struggling to get any kind of work at
all.
Here are a few other observations, for what it's worth:
- If you can do anything else and be happy, do it.
- Always be working on something.
- If no one will put you in their project, create your own.
- If you think you're ready to headline, you probably aren't. You won't be
ready until others who know your work think you are.
- Don't wait for someone to help just because you think they owe you.
- Don't be afraid to follow your own common sense.
- Be cautious of following the advice from others who tell you "this is the way
you have to do it" especially if the people telling you that aren't doing so
well themselves
- Some people really shouldn't be in the business. Everyone will question
whether they should be at one time or another, but there are some people that
should give it up all together. It's never going to happen for them. When
thinking about your own talent, be honest with yourself.
- If you can write, then write. No page, no stage.
- Be on time.
- If you commit to something, see it through until the end. Or become another
one of the many cunts who are branded "flaky"...trust me, people don't like to
work with flakes.
- If your relative owns a club, studio, or network you have a much easier time
making it.
- Suzy Soro is one of the few people who has enjoyed some success, but hasn't
let it inflate her ego or cause her to choke on the bitterness of it not being
enough.
- Even when you think you've made it, you haven't really begun to.
- The old adage "out of sight, out of mind" is never truer than when applied to
show business.
- A lot does depend on who you know, but most of the time it's not charity when
someone you knows gets you work. They don't want to look bad by recommending a
no talent. When someone does give you a chance, work your ass off to prove
that it was a good move on their part.
- If you have a great year and make $100,000 then put as much away as possible
because the next year you might only make $1000.
- Don't give advice to others, because what the fuck do you know about
anything.
- Don't pay any attention to my advice. I'm not really sure it has worked for
me.
Brad Slaight
Stuart O. Bronstein
>From: suzy...@aol.comedy (SUZY SORO)
>
>>To my knowledge, maybe those of you who are single, with no
>>working spouse, inheritance etc can point the way for Leary.
>>Slaight, for example?
>
> Every successful person I've worked with has a different story
> about what it took to earn them even a modicum of success -
> sometimes through hard work, sometimes through talent, but
> mostly it was just luck.
I'd guess that most of the time it's a combination of hard work and
persistance, keeping going until "luck" strikes.
Stu
Tommy Joseph
I can't speak for comedy (well, maybe I can, but I won't), but I can
speak for fame. Your comment, "The fame doesn't last", is not true.
Unfortunately, fame does last. Getting famous is what most comics are all
about, and I'm not here to fault them for it. Become famous (at anything),
and most people will think you're great and they'll think it for a long
time. Being famous makes you more famous, just like 'the rich get richer'.
What the hell is a 'fulltime living', anyway? Making enough to pay the rent
and eat some food. Some people can live on less than others. Some people
can't make enough to satisfy their insane desires. I live on two to three
hundred bucks a week driving a cab. Surely many comics make this doing
standup on the road. Most of them say they do it for the love, and that
might be true, but all of them are looking to get famous, even if they won't
admit it. They want to get so famous they won't have to do what they love
anymore.
Tommy Joe
Tommy Joseph
>> Just curious. Please don't take offense at anything I've said or
>> implied. I have the utmost respect for anybody who can find a way to
>> do what they truly love. I only wish I could do it.
>>
>>
>> -Leary-
>
>
> I have done it the first few years as a reprieve from the horrors of
> daily living, in order to keep me from jumping off a cliff, really.
>
> Betharini
I am working my ass off trying to get rich. If I make enough money, is
there a possibility I can pay you to jump off a cliff?
tommy joe
Comedywood
b.
"Brad Slaight" <bisb...@aol.comeon> wrote in message
news:20031221040508...@mb-m05.aol.com...
SUZY SORO
took to earn them even a modicum of success - sometimes through hard work,
sometimes through talent, but mostly it was just luck.
Brad, you made a lot of excellent points in your post; and the only one I would
add is one people think is fatuous or self serving. And it's a little of both.
LA, if we can only talk about this market for now, is full of talent. Once you
get here and see all the other people who had the same idea as you, it's
overwhelming to figure out where you're going to fit in. Many comics who get
here can't figure out where to jump in first, as the pool is large.
So I tell people that since there's a surfeit of talent out here, your only
safe bet is in forming relationships. The acting TV and movie jobs I got out
here were because I was fortunate to know some heavy hitters on a personal
level.
I would be kidding myself if I said it was all about my talent. (even some of
the standup shows I did required no audition because the bookers knew me) Yes I
think I'm funny and yes I can act but I'm also easy to get along with on the
set, work hard, am on time and don't mouth off to anyone, except Kraft Services
when they run out of glazed doughnuts.
Even out on the road, a lot of you, and myself included in this one, get asked
to work with others because you formed a relationship with those comics. There
was one male married headliner who always requested me because he said I was
the only female comic he had ever worked with who didn't lecture him on the
fact that he brought waitresses home to fuck. (what did I care as long as she
made me breakfast too?)
Be the person who is talented, yes, but be the person who is easy to get along
with, tips the waitstaff, never goes over their time and doesn't trash the
condo. These are the easiest things in the world to do and if you can't do
them, you're a moron.
So instead of worrying so much about this joke or that joke and thinking that's
your only ticket to Stardom(e), work on your personal skills. There's a million
talented people out there but only five who don't get on your last remaining
nerve.
Suzy Soro
To my knowledge, there's a famous Michael J. Fox story that I tell a lot. He
was on Family Ties and booked Back to the Future and went into the Famous
Stratosphere. When intereviewed by some Barbara Walters type, he was asked if
he wasn't the most talented guy on the planet at that moment because of all he
booked. And he replied, "Nah, when they shoot a movie it takes 5 months and I'm
just the guy that's real easy and fun to get along with out in the middle of
nowhere."
BetteDavis
Heee hee you powderpuff girl you!
Betharini
BetteDavis
ANd...of the movies I have seen this season, I recommend,,Elf,,,it
rocks! And Cat in the Hat,,,,very entertaining. You would like them
both, I know it.
Bessie D.
Ollie North
I am sitting in bed naked posting to this group waiting to be
discovered. It will happen. And wont you fuckers feel stupid.
Ollie
Semper "Now appearing at a county jail near u" Fi
steve
>LA, if we can only talk about this market for now, is full of talent. Once you
>get here and see all the other people who had the same idea as you, it's
>overwhelming to figure out where you're going to fit in. Many comics who get
>here can't figure out where to jump in first, as the pool is large.
>
>So I tell people that since there's a surfeit of talent out here, your only
>safe bet is in forming relationships.
Having just made the move to L.A., I would agree with pretty much all of
what Slaight and Soro have said.
You can be on the road, headlining and doing well for yourself (yes, Mr.
Leary, making a decent living) at standup for a number of years. Then, you
make the move to L.A. and start auditioning for spots, competing for job
openings related to the industry, etc. etc. and you realize how much is based
on talent and abiity and how much is based on being someone people like to work
with.
The competition is tough out here, too, especially when you start working in
arenas you don't normally specialize in. I decided to audition for the
Groundlings a week or so ago (the improv troupe Phil Hartman, Pee Wee Herman,
Chris Kattan, Conan O'Brien, Will Ferrell and more have come from). There are
a limited number of slots, and a number of very talented people competing for
them - and you don't want to lose out, because there's a year wait before you
can audition again. I thought I'd do all right, what with my standup and
limited improv experiences.
When I got there, however, I found some of the MOST talented improv people
I've seen in ages. One girl works on the Gilmore Girls, one guy was on
Broadway with "Rent" for years, one guy was the main organizer of the improv
scene in Seattle or Portland for years - they were all some of the best people
from their towns, and they were all in the same room, fighting it out for the
same spots. It made me realize that out here, you have to bring your best game
to everything you do, and you have to take the time in your down time to hone
that game to it's sharpest edge.
And relationships are huge. I have been fortunate enough to get work from
friends who knew of an opening and got me interviews or a chance to submit for
writing work. A lot of the people in ACS who post good advice about LA, or
lurk out here, have a good feel for me as a person who will act professionally
if they drop your name to someone, and I cannot overemphasize how much
difference this group has made for me out here already. Thanks.
It's a place that's not unlike the Drama group in your high school. Many
talented people who can act circles around others, or who have the undefinable
"it" that makes you want to watch them in anything - these folks will work
because of talent, and in spite of crazy tendencies and demands. Then you have
a circle of the workers - the producers, directors, organizers - people who
would be putting on shows in their basements if it weren't for show business
giving them an outlet somewhere else. These people work because they can get
things done, and do them well. Then you have circles of people who have a
decent amount of talent, and a good attitude - these people will work because
you need bodies in roles, and pleasant people are better to work with than
assholes. And there are levels and rings of others, who struggle to work and
can't quite figure out why they weren't able to walk into L.A. and make it the
way they thought they would. And there are rings and rings of relationships
and important people who already have their cliques and groups they like to
work with - if you penetrate one of these groups, it's usually because of a
personal relationship you form with someone in that clique.
So, work hard - perfect your standup, if that's your focus. Take some
improv and acting classes wherever you are, to practice and work out muscles
you normally don't use. Write 15 topical jokes a day based on stories from the
news - that ability and sample material will come in handy if you want to
submit for a writing job on many shows. Play nice. Prepare to come out here
and start over to a large degree, but do it with a decent attitude and some
prep work, and you too will be able to run on the hamster wheel that may or may
not allow you to become one of the .00000001 % of working show business people
who become celebrities.
steve gelder
P.S. I made it into the Groundlings. Since I have landed in L.A., I have also
released my book, gotten a job writing jokes for a radio service, am working on
a couple of short films with a small group of talented people that have come
together nicely, I'm taking a script writing course in February, looking for an
acting coach after the first of the year, and at a Xmas party over the weekend,
I got an offer to meet with a morning DJ out here, to work 4 hours a day
running some show prep for him, which would pay me well enough to work out here
without hitting the road so I can focus on a couple of scripts I want to finish
and the one man show I'm writing which is designed to promote the sitcom I have
in mind for me.
Is it exhausting? Yes.
Is it easy? No.
Is it worth it, to be playing among some of the most talented people in your
industry on the face of the planet? I think so.
Stuart O. Bronstein
> ANd...of the movies I have seen this season, I
> recommend,,Elf,,,it rocks! And Cat in the Hat,,,,very
> entertaining. You would like them both, I know it.
For some reason I couldn't help myself from rewriting this in my
head:
And of the movies I have seen this season
I recommend Elf - I have a good reason.
And Cat in the Hat, very entertaining.
You would like them both, even if it is raining.
Stu
HENEGHEN
Luck is handmade, and the hands are at the ends of your arms.
Marz
support me and my comedy habit?
Actually, I'm looking for a woman comic to tour with and share expenses. I'm
all right to look at, well endowed and over the whole ego thing.
Please send 7 minute tape and avails.
Baldwiny
>Actually, I'm looking for a woman comic to tour with and share expenses. I'm
>all right to look at, well endowed and over the whole ego thing.
>Please send 7 minute tape and avails.
Of course you won't mind if she wants to see proof of endowment before signing
anything.
Father Luke
Here are some tips on surviving in Stand - Up Comedy until you can
make a living :
1.) Call numbers at random from the phone book and " do " your act.
Ask if you can visit them and sleep on their couch.
2.) Crash large weddings and " do " your act. Eat something while you
are there.
3.) Call up customer service for large stores and " do " your act.
Tell them to send you some free coupons for stuff.
4.) Go to different Churches in the neighborhood and " do " your act.
Take money from the collection plates as they go by.
5.) There are others . . . hope these help.
~ Father Luke
Marz
endowment before signing anything.
>gulp<(no pun intended)
of course, it would require more than a 7.......
minute tape.
Tommy Joseph
>>> Every successful person I've worked with has a different story
>>> about what it took to earn them even a modicum of success -
>>> sometimes through hard work, sometimes through talent, but
>>> mostly it was just luck.
>>
>> I'd guess that most of the time it's a combination of hard work and
>> persistance, keeping going until "luck" strikes.
>>
>> Stu
>
> I am sitting in bed naked posting to this group waiting to be
> discovered. It will happen. And wont you fuckers feel stupid.
>
> Ollie
>
> Semper "Now appearing at a county jail near u" Fi
The truth is, it could happen. The chances of someone 'making it'
without trying are as good as those who try try try all the days of their
lives until they're dead enough to know that they never succeeded.
Tommy Joe
Tommy Joseph
>> I'd guess that most of the time it's a combination of hard work and
>> persistance, keeping going until "luck" strikes.
>>
>> Stu
>
>
>
> Luck is handmade, and the hands are at the ends of your arms.
What if you don't have arms?
Tommy Joe
Tommy Joseph
> Suzy Soro
> To my knowledge, there's a famous Michael J. Fox story that I tell a lot. He
> was on Family Ties and booked Back to the Future and went into the Famous
> Stratosphere. When intereviewed by some Barbara Walters type, he was asked if
> he wasn't the most talented guy on the planet at that moment because of all he
> booked. And he replied, "Nah, when they shoot a movie it takes 5 months and
> I'm
> just the guy that's real easy and fun to get along with out in the middle of
> nowhere."
>
That's really deep, man!
Tommy Joe
>
Tommy Joseph
> steve gelder
>
> P.S. I made it into the Groundlings.
I saw the Groundlings years ago and thought they sucked. Maybe you can
improve them.
Tommy Joe
Stuart O. Bronstein
Apparently mine is longer than yours.
Stu
Linda H
"Stuart O. Bronstein" <spam...@lexregia.com> wrote
> "Marz" <ma...@austin.tex> wrote:
>
> > Steve threw in: Of course you won't mind if she wants to see
> > proof of endowment before signing anything.
> > of course, it would require more than a 7.......
> > minute tape.
> Apparently mine is longer than yours.
>
> Stu
And just sometimes you just *don't want to see the edited version.
Sometimes you gotta see the whole dang thing.
xx L
Stuart O. Bronstein
> "Stuart O. Bronstein" <spam...@lexregia.com> wrote
>> "Marz" <ma...@austin.tex> wrote:
>>
>> > Steve threw in: Of course you won't mind if she wants to see
>> > proof of endowment before signing anything.
>
>> > of course, it would require more than a 7.......
>> > minute tape.
>
>> Apparently mine is longer than yours.
>
> Sometimes you gotta see the whole dang thing.
Welcome to Jamaica and have a nice day.
Stu
Marz
Everybody wants ta get in on the act. Hah cha cha cha chaaa
Hey! We got our own attorney ridin in the bus wid us!
And he's packin'!
Ladies?
Marz
> > Beth, I know you well enough to know that you may have thought of
jumping off a cliff, but it was really just a bluff.
> > Stu
> Heee hee you powderpuff girl you!
> Betharini
Stu plays for the other team?
Marz
Father Luke
Father Luke wrote:
This is an absolute forgery !
Everyone knows I do not use a curley cue thingee in front of my name !
Tip 6.) Visit AA. Sit in the back. When it comes time to " share "
stand up and " do " your act. You'll get free coffee
and get laid.
~ Father Luke
Stuart O. Bronstein
>Stu
>> Betharini
>
>> > Beth, I know you well enough to know that you may have
>> > thought of jumping off a cliff, but it was really just a bluff.
>
>> Heee hee you powderpuff girl you!
>
> Stu plays for the other team?
Not usually. But Beth is such a cutie that I'll play for any team
she's on, as long as her husband's out of town.
Stu
BetteDavis
Hey, sorry, I don't know what hit me with that powderpuff remark. Too
many cartoons I guess. Did you see MadTV? the Hilton sisters as
powderpuff girls?
Betharini
Prinny
> > I am shameless, so I'll ask, how do I go about finding a woman that
> > will support me and my comedy habit? ~PJ
>
> Actually, I'm looking for a woman comic to tour with and share expenses.
> I'm all right to look at, well endowed and over the whole ego thing.
> Please send 7 minute tape and avails.
Aren't you guys the same annoying person?
Her xx
--
Tony Danza, my arse! www.BossOfEVERYTHING.com
bekabarry
> 22 years and it's the only thing I do COMEDY been making car and house payments
> and eating well as my fat ass proves. Would'nt do anything else.
> Mike Wally Walter
> Cracker
I would like to back wally up on the ass thing..it's big, but oh so
round and loveable..there is money, you just have to really work at
marketing yourself..single mom here with car payments, bills, rent,
food etc..i never starved or got evicted..the money finds you if you
work at it.
Marz
Ouch!
I woke up feeling pretty good about myself. Had a great set last night; By
my standards.
You know when you've been in a writing frenzy and dying to try out the new
stuff? I framed it in betwene my latest dynamite openers and closers and the
new five gags, topical, worked!
Now I find the boss thinks I'm boring. That hurts. I've walked 'Her'.
Please ignore me or killfile me. If you don't know how; I'm sure someone can
teach you. If I post too much, it's because I love youse guys.
Merry X-mas.
Marz
Oh and PJ is in Vegas, I think, and I'm in Austin for the present. And this
group is for dicussion not your personal entertainment, miss boss thang.
Tommy Joseph
> From: hotm...@hotmail.com (bekabarry)
> Organization: http://groups.google.com
> Newsgroups: alt.comedy.standup
> Date: 23 Dec 2003 07:08:51 -0800
> Subject: Re: Making a Full-Time Living Doing Stand-Up
What are you after, a fucking medal or something? So you're a single
mom. Big deal. All we hear about are the 'absent fathers'. Well, I don't
think they're necessarily absent - I think they're kicked out most of the
time. Once the women have the kids the guy is on the way out the door (most
of the time), and the women know this way before hand. If they don't know
it, they are fools. There are too many single moms to not know this. A
single father has it just as hard as a single mom, probably harder. How
much money does it take to feed and clothe a child? Not as much as people
think. Paying the rent, the bills, the stress of everyday life - these
things are not easy for anyone. Get off the 'single mom' bullshit. If
you're as self-assured as you say and the money finds you if you work at it
(as you say), then why even mention that you're a single mom?
Tommy Joe
MWaltFun
BekaBarry..she has supported the kid since birth without the father and hasn't
asked for a damn thing, she just does it, no welfare, food stamps or otherwisw.
I think she is proud to be a single Mom and a working comic. She wasn't
bitching just Bragging!
Mike Wally Walter
Tommy Joseph
> From: mwal...@aol.com (MWaltFun)
> Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
> Newsgroups: alt.comedy.standup
> Date: 24 Dec 2003 23:28:47 GMT
> Subject: Re: Making a Full-Time Living Doing Stand-Up
>
That's all good, but you are correct, the 'single mom' thing does indeed
bother me, especially when women use it as some sort of badge. Everyone in
this life has a tough time of it, that's all I'm saying. I never said she
got welfare (and if she did that would be alright with me. I've been on
welfare myself a few times), and I never disparaged her directly. Her
comments simply rang a bell with me, a loud bell I'm sick of hearing all the
time. That is all.
tommy joe
kinetic
"steve" <lap...@aol.comity> wrote in message
news:20031221133640...@mb-m28.aol.com...
> P.S. I made it into the Groundlings. Since I have landed in L.A., I have
also
> released my book, gotten a job writing jokes for a radio service, am
working on
> a couple of short films with a small group of talented people that have
come
> together nicely, I'm taking a script writing course in February, looking
for an
> acting coach after the first of the year, and at a Xmas party over the
weekend,
> I got an offer to meet with a morning DJ out here, to work 4 hours a day
> running some show prep for him, which would pay me well enough to work out
here
> without hitting the road so I can focus on a couple of scripts I want to
finish
> and the one man show I'm writing which is designed to promote the sitcom I
have
> in mind for me.
Congratulations Steve!
~ Jamie West
(I made porridge for breakfast)
Chobeo
>the 'single mom' thing does indeed
>bother me, especially when women use it as some sort of badge.
Preach on brother...
I have my flaws just like everyone else but shortly after my daughter
came along, the woman who'd been in my life for over a decade wanted
nothing to do with me...
She even made it hard to see my kid.
If I were a drunk, broke, mean, cheating bastard I could maybe
understand... But I never cheated. -rimshot-
Ollie North
Women are free not only to decide if they spread their legs but even
after if they want the thing gowing in their belly afterwards. Even
if they give birth they can give it away.... especially white ones.
Hell they can sell the white ones. It is getting even nigger ones can
be sold thre is such a shortage.
I knew a gal when I started at the phone company who had also just
been hired. She said she felt guilty about accepting welfare to get
thru a tech training program that made it possible for her to get the
phone job. She was s 'single' mom. I told her 'fuck em..' you will
be paying lots of taxes and will put much more back... What does this
have to do with anything... fuck if I know
Ollie
Semper "My bootstraps broke" Fi
John Curtin
carlmcge...@hotmail.com wrote on 12/25/03 5:08 AM:
> Congratulations Steve!
Hear hear!
This thread is the reason I still read ACS.
--
Slainte,
Curtin
http://www.johncurtin.net
steve
>Congratulations Steve!
>
>~ Jamie West
>
>(I made porridge for breakfast)
MMMmmmmmm...porridge.....
Thanks Jamie and John - sorry the P.S. was so long, everyone, and looks like
boasting (no brag! just FACT!) - just meant to point out that there is work
available, but you have to bust your ass. But it is there/here. Stage time,
too. Be ambitious.
steve gelder
http://www.stevegelder.com
The FAQ for alt.comedy.standup is currently located at:
http://members.aol.com/comedyfaq/faq.html
HENEGHEN
> suzy...@aol.comedy (SUZY SORO) writes:
>
> >LA, if we can only talk about this market for now, is full of talent. Once you
> >get here and see all the other people who had the same idea as you, it's
> >overwhelming to figure out where you're going to fit in. Many comics who get
> >here can't figure out where to jump in first, as the pool is large.
> >
> >So I tell people that since there's a surfeit of talent out here, your only
> >safe bet is in forming relationships.
>
>
> Having just made the move to L.A., I would agree with pretty much all of
> what Slaight and Soro have said.
>
> You can be on the road, headlining and doing well for yourself (yes, Mr.
> Leary, making a decent living) at standup for a number of years. Then, you
> make the move to L.A. and start auditioning for spots, competing for job
> openings related to the industry, etc. etc. and you realize how much is based
> on talent and abiity and how much is based on being someone people like to work
> with.
>
> The competition is tough out here, too, especially when you start working in
> arenas you don't normally specialize in. I decided to audition for the
> Groundlings a week or so ago (the improv troupe Phil Hartman, Pee Wee Herman,
> Chris Kattan, Conan O'Brien, Will Ferrell and more have come from). There are
> a limited number of slots, and a number of very talented people competing for
> them - and you don't want to lose out, because there's a year wait before you
> can audition again. I thought I'd do all right, what with my standup and
> limited improv experiences.
>
> When I got there, however, I found some of the MOST talented improv people
> I've seen in ages. One girl works on the Gilmore Girls, one guy was on
> Broadway with "Rent" for years, one guy was the main organizer of the improv
> scene in Seattle or Portland for years - they were all some of the best people
> from their towns, and they were all in the same room, fighting it out for the
> same spots. It made me realize that out here, you have to bring your best game
> to everything you do, and you have to take the time in your down time to hone
> that game to it's sharpest edge.
>
> And relationships are huge. I have been fortunate enough to get work from
> friends who knew of an opening and got me interviews or a chance to submit for
> writing work. A lot of the people in ACS who post good advice about LA, or
> lurk out here, have a good feel for me as a person who will act professionally
> if they drop your name to someone, and I cannot overemphasize how much
> difference this group has made for me out here already. Thanks.
>
> It's a place that's not unlike the Drama group in your high school. Many
> talented people who can act circles around others, or who have the undefinable
> "it" that makes you want to watch them in anything - these folks will work
> because of talent, and in spite of crazy tendencies and demands. Then you have
> a circle of the workers - the producers, directors, organizers - people who
> would be putting on shows in their basements if it weren't for show business
> giving them an outlet somewhere else. These people work because they can get
> things done, and do them well. Then you have circles of people who have a
> decent amount of talent, and a good attitude - these people will work because
> you need bodies in roles, and pleasant people are better to work with than
> assholes. And there are levels and rings of others, who struggle to work and
> can't quite figure out why they weren't able to walk into L.A. and make it the
> way they thought they would. And there are rings and rings of relationships
> and important people who already have their cliques and groups they like to
> work with - if you penetrate one of these groups, it's usually because of a
> personal relationship you form with someone in that clique.
>
> So, work hard - perfect your standup, if that's your focus. Take some
> improv and acting classes wherever you are, to practice and work out muscles
> you normally don't use. Write 15 topical jokes a day based on stories from the
> news - that ability and sample material will come in handy if you want to
> submit for a writing job on many shows. Play nice. Prepare to come out here
> and start over to a large degree, but do it with a decent attitude and some
> prep work, and you too will be able to run on the hamster wheel that may or may
> not allow you to become one of the .00000001 % of working show business people
> who become celebrities.
>
> steve gelder
>
> P.S. I made it into the Groundlings. Since I have landed in L.A., I have also
> released my book, gotten a job writing jokes for a radio service, am working on
> a couple of short films with a small group of talented people that have come
> together nicely, I'm taking a script writing course in February, looking for an
> acting coach after the first of the year, and at a Xmas party over the weekend,
> I got an offer to meet with a morning DJ out here, to work 4 hours a day
> running some show prep for him, which would pay me well enough to work out here
> without hitting the road so I can focus on a couple of scripts I want to finish
> and the one man show I'm writing which is designed to promote the sitcom I have
> in mind for me.
>
>
> Is it easy? No.
>
> Is it worth it, to be playing among some of the most talented people in your
> industry on the face of the planet? I think so.
Good work my friend. see ya in feb. heneghen
Tommy Joseph
> From: Chobeo <pine...@chobeo.com>
> Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com
> Newsgroups: alt.comedy.standup
> Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2003 09:55:33 -0800
> Subject: Re: Making a Full-Time Living Doing Stand-Up
>
Well, I could understand some woman using being a 'single mom' as a badge
if there weren't so many single moms out there (it's not uncommon)-, and I
strongly suspect many of them even knew before hand that they'd be heading
in that direction. Also, while a married mom may have the assistance of one
man in the rearing of her child, a single mom sometimes has the assistance
of many men in doing the same thing, although they're not always willing to
acknowledge it. This crybaby routine from some women may work on most men,
but it doesn't fly with me. Thanks for the note.
Tommy Joe
>
Tommy Joseph
> From: OllieN...@aol.com (Ollie North)
> Organization: http://groups.google.com
> Newsgroups: alt.comedy.standup
> Date: 25 Dec 2003 10:38:51 -0800
Mentioning that you are a single mom on occasion is one thing, but
blaring it to the rooftops is another. I suspect these women who 'brag'
about being single moms are really asking for help, even if they won't admit
it. They also get a lot of help, even if they won't admit it. In fact,
women have a habit of talking about their disadvantages while ignoring their
advantages, of which they have many.
Tommy Joe
Romhell
Finally, we get the answer.
BetteDavis
STeve; I can't help laughing when I read this. It was you who went on
a very long posting rampage when I discussed going to the Second City
classes here. You were telling us all how these "improv schools" use
people and their money, and their desire to be on SNL. LOL. Anyway, I
knew that secretly deep down, you probably wanted to be involved in it
yourself. This is why I don't listen to anyone. You have to follow
your heart, and when you are working on something really hard that you
enjoy, it does not feel like work.
Good luck,
Betharini
Hello! I Am Chafey Narquois Barbeau!
Bethina.
But, I've seen different types of
utter hypocrisy oozing out of
GeldedStein, countless times.
Although, that was one I
wouldn't have noticed.
Interesting.
Happy New Year, Bethina.
Yours (Bloody!!) Truly,
Chafey
AKA: David
(c) 2003
Prinny
>> boss of her xx asked if me and PJ aren't the same boring person.
Aww poor lil Poodle. I'm sorry, calling anyone PJ who isn't actually PJ IS
pretty bloody awful and I take that bit back. You're nowhere NEAR as mind
numbing as PJ (whose fingers I want to snap off, at the modem).
Merry Xmas Marz. Now, don't bore me.
Prinngle xxxx
Marz
steve
>STeve; I can't help laughing when I read this. It was you who went on
>a very long posting rampage when I discussed going to the Second City
>classes here. You were telling us all how these "improv schools" use
>people and their money, and their desire to be on SNL. LOL. Anyway, I
>knew that secretly deep down, you probably wanted to be involved in it
>yourself. This is why I don't listen to anyone.
Oh, sure, blame your not listening on me...
I don't recall the Second City posts (go figure) but I'll take your word for
it.
I do perceive a difference between going to Second City classes in Las
Vegas, and Second City in Chicago, if that makes sense. Chicago was/is the
place, Las Vegas' is the franchise.
Glad it gave you a chuckle. And everyone should do what they think, despite
what opinion I might state on any particular topic - after all, we're all alone
when we're on stage, and when we die.
Hope you enjoyed your holidays, Betharini!
BetteDavis
>
> I do perceive a difference between going to Second City classes in Las
> Vegas, and Second City in Chicago, if that makes sense. Chicago was/is the
> place, Las Vegas' is the franchise.
>
>
Las Vegas Second City.
Betharini
Cathe B
or better yet, the late great Avery Shrieber, and the current Mina Kolb
who are the "franchise" operators in los angeles and were part of the
original second city folks along with arquette and burns.
C
steve
>BetteDavis wrote:
>> lap...@aol.comity (steve) wrote:
>>
>>
>>> I do perceive a difference between going to Second City classes in
>Las
>>>Vegas, and Second City in Chicago, if that makes sense. Chicago was/is
>the
>>>place, Las Vegas' is the franchise.
>>>
>>>
>>
>> Tell that to Jason Sudeikis who is the latest SNL writer hired from
>> Las Vegas Second City.
>>
>> Betharini
>
>
>or better yet, the late great Avery Shrieber, and the current Mina Kolb
>who are the "franchise" operators in los angeles and were part of the
>original second city folks along with arquette and burns.
I think I used both the words "I" and "perceive" in my statement. It's an
opinion of mine, not a fact written in stone somewhere.
What I actually meant to say was -- chick comics in Vegas ROCK!!!!!
BetteDavis
The original thread on Google is CHICAGO'S FAMED SECOND CITY IS COMING TO DALLAS!!!!
It is a bit entertaining.
Happy Chanuka, X-mas and New Years Chafey.
Bethina.
steve
>lap...@aol.comity (steve) wrote:
>
>STeve; I can't help laughing when I read this. It was you who went on
>a very long posting rampage when I discussed going to the Second City
>classes here. You were telling us all how these "improv schools" use
>people and their money, and their desire to be on SNL. LOL. Anyway, I
>knew that secretly deep down, you probably wanted to be involved in it
>yourself. This is why I don't listen to anyone. You have to follow
>your heart, and when you are working on something really hard that you
>enjoy, it does not feel like work.
Hey, Beth - I went back to the thread you referenced and looked it over - my
"long posting rampage" was about 6 or 7 posts, most of them an attempt to
clarify my POV to Amanda, who was very defensive of my statements about Second
City. I believe my stance then is the same as my stance now - classes good for
some, not for all, but occassionally, the "all" get through to help pay the
bills.
So, less hypocrisy than one might imagine, without Googling up the thread.
Cathe B
> I think I used both the words "I" and "perceive" in my statement. It's an
> opinion of mine, not a fact written in stone somewhere.
>
>
> What I actually meant to say was -- chick comics in Vegas ROCK!!!!!
>
>
>
> steve gelder
>
steve..you are such a sweetheart when you suck up.. and every other time
too.
C
dE
wrote:
>Happy Chanuka, X-mas and New Years Chafey.
You spell the Jewish holiday correctly (or at least close.. I think
there's an h missing near the end) but you deliberately replace
Christ in Christmas with an X.
That blows.
--
dana
"never lie to the dog"
steve
>TheBet...@msn.com (BetteDavis) wrote:
>
>
>>Happy Chanuka, X-mas and New Years Chafey.
>
>You spell the Jewish holiday correctly (or at least close.. I think
>there's an h missing near the end) but you deliberately replace
>Christ in Christmas with an X.
>
>That blows.
Oh, really, who gives a fuck, for two reasons:
1) "God" probably doesn't exist, and if He does, He's not injured in the
least by Xmas as opposed to Christmas (if He is hurt by it, He's a pretty weak
God to hang your hat on), and
2) your opinion on anything posted in this NG does not matter in the least.
Never has.
Never will.
Begin your impotent rant against me....NOW, Cute L'il Puppy Dog!
dE
> 2) your opinion on anything posted in this NG does not matter in the least.
> Never has.
> Never will.
> Begin your impotent rant against me....NOW, Cute L'il Puppy Dog!
Why? Don't you have me killfiled Gelderfuck?
Say why isn't there a few good Gelderfuck clips to check out? Still
got your moment of flame on Jeopardy up on your site? LMAO
You fuckin SUCK.
Bye bye.
Baldwiny
>You fuckin SUCK.
Don't you just wish ... he's an attractive man, but he's straight, and prefers
his partners to be sane.
So sorry,
Steve
Feel free to rant and rave and post to almost no-one what's wrong with me and
ACS. I know you can't stop yourself ... the mentally ill rarely can.
steve
>> Begin your impotent rant against me....NOW, Cute L'il Puppy Dog!
>
>Why? Don't you have me killfiled Gelderfuck?
Several times over - if you weren't so adament about trying to make people
who don't care to see your words read you from time to time, you'd still be in
there. Quit changing your screenname, and I'll stop seeing you again, when I
decide to killfile this name. Right now, you're a handy-dandy punching bag.
And "Gelderfuck"...? Is that the best you've got? 'Cause the third graders
on the monkey bars have been saying some simply awful things about your Dad's
cocksucking abilities, and if you're gonna have to go mano a mano against one
of them, you'll need to work on your game.
>Say why isn't there a few good Gelderfuck clips to check out? Still
>got your moment of flame on Jeopardy up on your site? LMAO
Ooooohh, ouch! Ka-ZING! You got me on that one, the awesome slam of how I
got on Jeopardy and you can't tie your own shoes, and look, you're so funny,
you're laughing your own ass off. Good for you, You Magnificent Bastard!
"You're still supersmart, one of less than 15,000 people on the planet who
have ever been on Jeopardy, Steve -- TAKE THAT!"
"Those 7 Oscars you're holding clash with your tie, Mr. Spielberg -- FASHION
VICTIM!"
>You fuckin SUCK.
Wow. You must be world dozens champ. The way you left the "g" off
"fucking" to sound cooler and meaner, like you're really pissed off, and then
to top it off with the insult word "SUCK" in all caps? It sent chills up and
down my spine. It's like a little bit of verbal Picasso, right here in the
newsgroup. God Bless You, Tiny Tim.
P.S. I would've considered at least one exclamation point, possibly
several, unless you were going for that cold, hard killer effect. But, you'd
have to be a man with balls and a decent-sized penis to carry that off, so
never mind. Learn to punctuate.
>Bye bye.
Oh, you wish, Bitch.
dE
wrote:
> trollboy says to Steve Gelder:
>
>>You fuckin SUCK.
>
>
> Don't you just wish ... he's an attractive man, but he's straight, and prefers
>his partners to be sane.
>
> So sorry,
*yawn* Let me guess... you ... wait a minute... lol... you're
suggesting I'm gay and hitting on Gelder. I get it.
> Feel free to rant and rave and post to almost no-one what's wrong with me and
>ACS. I know you can't stop yourself ... the mentally ill rarely can.
Well damn I guess you got me now huh?
How can I.... arrrrgh... can't ... stop... myself...
Moron.
dE
>dE thai...@snotmail.com writes:
>
>>> Begin your impotent rant against me....NOW, Cute L'il Puppy Dog!
>>
>>Why? Don't you have me killfiled Gelderfuck?
>
> Several times over - if you weren't so adament about trying to make people
>who don't care to see your words read you from time to time, you'd still be in
>there. Quit changing your screenname, and I'll stop seeing you again, when I
>decide to killfile this name. Right now, you're a handy-dandy punching bag.
Let's see... I haven't changed this one since I went to Asia in May,
so you must've left it intact. I don't change my posting handle very
often, only when I get bored with the one I'm using, and I assure you
I use only one at a time. By the way, AOL girl, that's what they're
called here in USENET... posting handle, not "Screen name" I don't
log in from a "screen" like you half-wit training wheels AOL types. I
use what's called a ... say it with me....
n e w s r e a d e r
>And "Gelderfuck"...? Is that the best you've got? 'Cause the third graders
>on the monkey bars have been saying some simply awful things about your Dad's
>cocksucking abilities,
Dad's been dead for 20 years and 2 months, dipshit. Again, the
asshole king of ACS can't stick to the person he's addressing, he has
to go for some family member like a gutless pussy.
Steve, if I ever meet you face to face I'm gonna break yours open, ok?
Fair warning. I don't allow anyone to talk shit about my family,
living or dead.
>and if you're gonna have to go mano a mano against one
>of them, you'll need to work on your game.
Ahhh ghetto slang "game". Don't worry, I'll work out on you instead
of my "game".
>>Say why isn't there a few good Gelderfuck clips to check out? Still
>>got your moment of flame on Jeopardy up on your site? LMAO
>Ooooohh, ouch! Ka-ZING! You got me on that one, the awesome slam of how I
>got on Jeopardy and you can't tie your own shoes, and look, you're so funny,
>you're laughing your own ass off. Good for you, You Magnificent Bastard!
>"You're still supersmart, one of less than 15,000 people on the planet who
>have ever been on Jeopardy, Steve -- TAKE THAT!"
You're an idiot Gelder, not "supersmart". You lost your ass on
Jeopardy, which makes you just another LOSER.
>"Those 7 Oscars you're holding clash with your tie, Mr. Spielberg -- FASHION
>VICTIM!"
You're not even on par with the tie, let alone Spielberg. I guess in
your pot addled brain this snappy line had some type of cohesive
tie-in to the first one, but when the fog clears from your diseased
brain (filled with the brain worms you seem to be so familiar with)
you'll realize it was completely idiotic.
I imagine you do that on stage a lot.
>>You fuckin SUCK.
>Wow. You must be world dozens champ. The way you left the "g" off
>"fucking" to sound cooler and meaner, like you're really pissed off, and then
>to top it off with the insult word "SUCK" in all caps? It sent chills up and
>down my spine. It's like a little bit of verbal Picasso, right here in the
>newsgroup. God Bless You, Tiny Tim.
Why mince words when "you fuckin SUCK" says it all?
>P.S. I would've considered at least one exclamation point, possibly
>several, unless you were going for that cold, hard killer effect. But, you'd
>have to be a man with balls and a decent-sized penis to carry that off, so
>never mind. Learn to punctuate.
Nah it was a laughing "you fuckin SUCK (dude)" surfer-type thing.
Fathering 4 genius children pretty much vouches for my penis, not to
mention my extremely talented genes that I've passed along.
Learn to read pissboy.
>>Bye bye.
>Oh, you wish, Bitch.
Wish what?
By the way, indenting each paragraph is proper form for a personal
letter, not a USENET post. Look around and see how many people indent
like that. Only morons and tools such as yourself. (Why? Because it
fucks up attributions, that's why, you stupid git.)
Tyedboyne
>> Vegas, and Second City in Chicago, if that makes sense. Chicago was/is the
>> place, Las Vegas' is the franchise.
>>
>Tell that to Jason Sudeikis who is the latest SNL writer hired from
>Las Vegas Second City.
>
>Betharini
If I knew Mr. Sudeikis, or any othe SNL writers, what I would tell them is to
stop writing skits that start out funny but then go
on, and on, and onnnnnnnnnn........
I have'nt watched that show in years, so somebody, please let me know if it
does'nt suck anymore.
Happy Holidays to all,
and congrats to Gelder
Drew.
Caveat Lector
"Tyedboyne" <tyed...@aol.comdeadspam> wrote in message
news:20031227225438...@mb-m11.aol.com...
steve
>>Quit changing your screenname, and I'll stop seeing you again,
>when I
>>decide to killfile this name.
>
>Let's see... I haven't changed this one since I went to Asia in May,
>so you must've left it intact. I don't change my posting handle very
>often, only when I get bored with the one I'm using, and I assure you
>I use only one at a time.
Your assurances mean nothing. You don't matter.
And I've been posting for years and have just one name I've used the whole
time. People don't tend to killfile me, as they do eventually with every one
of your names, which I would take the time to pull from my killfile and list,
if you weren't so inconsequential and boring,
>By the way, AOL girl, that's what they're
>called here in USENET... posting handle, not "Screen name" I don't
>log in from a "screen" like you half-wit training wheels AOL types. I
>use what's called a ... say it with me....
>
>n e w s r e a d e r
Good insult! I use AOL! Burn on me! And the bonus of tossing "girl" on
the end of "AOL" to emascualte me...? Poetry in motion, if you're deaf and
immobile.
Oh, and the spelling out of newsreader might mean more, if I weren't so
obviously your intellectual superior in almost every way. It's only mildly
insulting, the same way it would be if a retarded kid pointed out how stupid
something you said was - I'm sure you've experienced that.
>>And "Gelderfuck"...? Is that the best you've got? 'Cause the third graders
>>on the monkey bars have been saying some simply awful things about your
>Dad's
>>cocksucking abilities,
>
>Dad's been dead for 20 years and 2 months, dipshit.
So, he had to give up the pre-teen cocksucking a while back, eh?
>Again, the
>asshole king of ACS can't stick to the person he's addressing, he has
>to go for some family member like a gutless pussy.
But your high standards allow you to wish death upon three year old girls
because someone who posts here is disliked by you...? Admirable.
And why do you insist on elevating me to kingly status? I'm just another
poster with opinions that matter, unlike you.
>Steve, if I ever meet you face to face I'm gonna break yours open, ok?
>Fair warning. I don't allow anyone to talk shit about my family,
>living or dead.
Fair warning in return: If I ever see you, Dana Karl Eddy Fuckface, I will
smash whatever is in my hand into your throat hard enough to end your life.
Understood? I feel no threat from you.
This symbol makes it all better so you can't report me like some pussy who
runs to the teacher: [%]
>You're an idiot Gelder, not "supersmart". You lost your ass on
>Jeopardy, which makes you just another LOSER.
Tell you what, get on Jeopardy, and I'll take back everything I've ever said
about your Dad sucking preteen cock. Until then, let him sit out eternity on
one of the most horrible levels of the inferno, boy cum dribbling down his
chin.
>I guess in
>your pot addled brain this snappy line had some type of cohesive
>tie-in to the first one, but when the fog clears from your diseased
>brain (filled with the brain worms you seem to be so familiar with)
>you'll realize it was completely idiotic.
So, you're straight and non pot-addled, but you don't understand simple
analogies/comparisions/etc. ...?
Yeah, good luck with that getting on Jeopardy thing, Braniac.
>Why mince words when "you fuckin SUCK" says it all?
Because, it's time for you to put up or shut the fuck up. Put something
into your word game, or retire, but "you fuckin SUCK" is something any child
with one swear word and a finger up their ass can come up with.
>Fathering 4 genius children pretty much vouches for my penis, not to
>mention my extremely talented genes that I've passed along.
>Learn to read pissboy.
The "pissboy" at the end really shows the kind of genius and talent being
passed down from your gene pool. Hope your kids are able to land that big
janitorial position, thanks to Daddy's fine, sweet DNA.
>By the way, indenting each paragraph is proper form for a personal
>letter, not a USENET post. Look around and see how many people indent
>like that. Only morons and tools such as yourself. (Why? Because it
>fucks up attributions, that's why, you stupid git.)
Posting rules? That's your big closer, Mr. "Who Made You The Internet
Police"...? Fuck, you are so lame. What's next, typos?
Do I give a shit about your attributions, or the difference between screen
name and posting handle? No.
Why?
You still don't matter.
And, you're not even properly threatening, funny or entertaining. But, you
knew that, or you'd be on a stage somewhere, right?
Hope some Thai whore gave you a dose of the Clap, and you shot it in your
wife's eye upon your return, so she can see you for the diseased prick you are.
Anybody left in your family to insult, so you can get on with breaking my
face...?
dE
>>Steve, if I ever meet you face to face I'm gonna break yours open, ok?
>>Fair warning. I don't allow anyone to talk shit about my family,
>>living or dead.
>
>
> Fair warning in return: If I ever see you, Dana Karl Eddy Fuckface, I will
>smash whatever is in my hand into your throat hard enough to end your life.
>Understood? I feel no threat from you.
Now THIS is something I'd love to see you try. You'd look awfully
silly with an arm ripped off and shoved up your ass.
I got my training just downstate from you at Ft. Bragg ... you know..
that place where real soldiers are, not pasty comedy drones who are
itching for an ass beating.
Last guy I fought I nearly killed and he outweighed you by twice at
least. I hope you're smoking your strength while you're smoking your
keyboard courage.
If you really wanna test your skills in this area, email me. I have
many friends I could go visit in Southern Pines to facilitate it.
(For someone so "inconsequential and boring" you've posted how much to
me tonight? Thought so. Your homo-erotic fantasies are glaringly
apparent, fag. Oh sure, you can try to diffuse them through my dead
dad and some imaginary boys, but face facts Steve, you're a queer.)
Dave Little
"dE" <thai...@snotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9sssuvov5go2fmuke...@4ax.com...
either of you guys get that david cross dvd?
lovedavelittle
steve
>Now THIS is something I'd love to see you try. You'd look awfully
>silly with an arm ripped off and shoved up your ass.
Yeah, but think how hot I'd be to your Dad - he could fuck me from behind
and I could hold his balls at the same time. If only I were younger...
>Last guy I fought I nearly killed and he outweighed you by twice at
>least.
I have several hobos chopped up and buried in my back yard - some were kinda
skinny, but most of them remembered you from the gloryhole.
>If you really wanna test your skills in this area, email me. I have
>many friends I could go visit in Southern Pines to facilitate it.
Snooooooore. You don't really have that many friends.
>(For someone so "inconsequential and boring" you've posted how much to
>me tonight? Thought so.
You're a piece of string I'm playing with, Jagoff - I'm already getting
tired of you, because you can't keep up.
And I've posted enough to make you post the first threat of physical
violence, enough to dance rings around you verbally, and enough to reduce you
to, "My Dad's not a fag - YOU'RE a fag, Fag!" retorts, like the following:
>Your homo-erotic fantasies are glaringly
>apparent, fag. Oh sure, you can try to diffuse them through my dead
>dad and some imaginary boys, but face facts Steve, you're a queer.)
Why couldn't you make it as a comic, Dana? I forget. Could it be your
complete lack of original thought?
Yeah, that was probably it.
You're a puny, insignificant moron. You wear your buttons all too clearly -
your underbelly is soft and white and flabby. Roll over and slink away again -
you're more interesting when you're away.
john
> Let's see... I haven't changed this one since I went to Asia in May,
> so you must've left it intact. I don't change my posting handle very
> often, only when I get bored with the one I'm using, and I assure you
> I use only one at a time. By the way, AOL girl, that's what they're
> called here in USENET... posting handle, not "Screen name" I don't
> log in from a "screen" like you half-wit training wheels AOL types. I
> use what's called a ... say it with me....
>
> n e w s r e a d e r
You have got to be one of the lamest posters I've ever read on any
newsgroup. What the fuck is your problem? You say you post in many
newsgroups so why do you post here? You're not a comic, you aren't
funny, and all you do is fight with everyone. Are you a masocist? No
one gives a flying fuck what you have to say and every time you get in
a fight with one of the real comics here they filet you. gelder
writes rings around you and this usenet thing is all about writing
skills. Seriously you should just stick with the other 50 newsgroups
you post in. You're way out of your league with this one. Get a
life.
dE
>dE <thai...@snotmail.com> wrote in message news:<dqgsuv86rvvik54bh...@4ax.com>...
>> Let's see... I haven't changed this one since I went to Asia in May,
>> so you must've left it intact. I don't change my posting handle very
>> often, only when I get bored with the one I'm using, and I assure you
>> I use only one at a time. By the way, AOL girl, that's what they're
>> called here in USENET... posting handle, not "Screen name" I don't
>> log in from a "screen" like you half-wit training wheels AOL types. I
>> use what's called a ... say it with me....
>>
>> n e w s r e a d e r
>You have got to be one of the lamest posters I've ever read on any
>newsgroup.
You are indeed the wise old sage of USENET with your posting history
stretching all the way back to .... August. You read lots of
newsgroups but only post to ACS huh? I see. I also see that you're
the moron who thought I was Chafey. That alone totally blows any
credibility you may think you had right out the bunghole.
Shaddup little twerp sockpuppet.
>What the fuck is your problem? You say you post in many
>newsgroups so why do you post here? You're not a comic, you aren't
>funny, and all you do is fight with everyone.
When I want to be funny, I am. I don't post here to be funny. I post
here when I want to be entertained.
>Are you a masocist? No
>one gives a flying fuck what you have to say and every time you get in
>a fight with one of the real comics here they filet you.
Nope... not once have I been "fileted" by one of these punks.
Including you Gelder.
>gelder writes rings around you and this usenet thing is all about writing
>skills.
Gelder is a wanker and his writing blows. But you already knew that
didn't you Steve? Nice sock puppet... is that argyle?
>Seriously you should just stick with the other 50 newsgroups
>you post in. You're way out of your league with this one. Get a
>life.
Name the 50 newsgroups.
For the record, I have a wonderful life, unlike so many who post here.
Beautiful wife, adorable kids, good friends. I don't have to drive
from town to town in a broken down Saturn and sleep in nasty motels or
comedy condos for $100 bucks and act like it's great money. I'm in
great shape and a steadily climbing level of good health, working with
my hands doing some fantastic construction work in a very high-profile
part of Dallas, helping build multi-million dollar homes and I feel
better than I have in many many years.
(Holy shit.. can even bring this post on topic, since one of the homes
I'm involved with is Steve Harvey's place up in Plano. Nice guy, Mr.
Harvey.)
So fuck you.
dE
>dE <thai...@snotmail.com> wrote in message news:<dqgsuv86rvvik54bh...@4ax.com>...
>> Let's see... I haven't changed this one since I went to Asia in May,
>> so you must've left it intact. I don't change my posting handle very
>> often, only when I get bored with the one I'm using, and I assure you
>> I use only one at a time. By the way, AOL girl, that's what they're
>> called here in USENET... posting handle, not "Screen name" I don't
>> log in from a "screen" like you half-wit training wheels AOL types. I
>> use what's called a ... say it with me....
>>
>> n e w s r e a d e r
>
>You have got to be one of the lamest posters I've ever read on any
>newsgroup. What the fuck is your problem? You say you post in many
>newsgroups so why do you post here? You're not a comic, you aren't
>funny, and all you do is fight with everyone. Are you a masocist?
Google gives us this:
comic...@yahoo.com (john) back in October, also wrote:
> BG, you have done more to "dumb down America" than anyone in this
> newsgroup. Just about every single message you post here is a
> textbook example of substandard writing skills and a complete lack of
> respect for the English language. Go take a basic spelling and
> grammar class and then you might be able to intelligently contribute
> to a discussion on the use of words.
First of all dipshit, since you're going to champion spelling and
grammar, the word is MASOCHIST. Fuckin nimrod.
Surprisingly, you and I agree on a couple issues such as Bill Kirch.
We disagree on Tim Shell, however. Tim's funny.
Your Yahoo! ID was created in July, and you started posting here to
ACS in August, and not one of your posts showing up on Google is
anything but flaming at the people who post here, so the logical
assumption would be you're a sock puppet for someone else, nothing
more.
Tommy Joseph
This is a fabulous thread, Gelder. Is this the type of comedy-related
thread you feel is so sorely missing from this newsgroup?
Tommy Joe
john
speaking of posting history it's a real trip down horror Highway
reading yours. How many names have you posted under on Usenet, Karl?
>I see. I also see that you're
> the moron who thought I was Chafey.
One of many. he's almost as annoying as you are and is not a
comedian. Two clues right there.
>That alone totally blows any
> credibility you may think you had right out the bunghole.
> Shaddup little twerp sockpuppet.
Usually people who accuse others of being a sockpuppet do so because
they have done it so many times themselves. how many names have you
been posting here in ACS? Probably easy to find all we have to do is
look at any idiot who supports you and bam there it is.
> When I want to be funny, I am. I don't post here to be funny. I post
> here when I want to be entertained.
entertained? Most have you killfiled and others just ignore you. The
only ones who you ever interact with are trolls. you pay the two
Drink minimum for that?
> Nope... not once have I been "fileted" by one of these punks.
> Including you Gelder.
again the master of sockpuppets Dana Karl is accusing others of doing
the same thing. laughable.
> For the record, I have a wonderful life, unlike so many who post here.
> Beautiful wife, adorable kids, good friends.
you continuing to post here proves you don't really have any friends.
You come here for Acceptance and love and then when no one buys your
bullshit you spew your hate. I'm guessing the reason you have no
friends in real life is because you act the same way you do here. you
have all the Symptoms of a real misfit. How many of your "friends"
have you wished death on when they disagreed with you, fuckmuffin?
> I don't have to drive
> from town to town in a broken down Saturn and sleep in nasty motels or
> comedy condos for $100 bucks and act like it's great money.
you should change that "I don't have to" to "I have no talent so I
don't" you shun the life of a comedian because like this newsgroup it
shuns you.
>I'm in
> great shape and a steadily climbing level of good health, working with
> my hands doing some fantastic construction work in a very high-profile
> part of Dallas
Thought you had heart problems and live in Thailand. make up your
Mind liar.
>helping build multi-million dollar homes
so? You carry Bricks around and hammer nails. That's almost as
impressive as your karaoke singing and knowledge of shitty Rock bands.
You should be posting in alt.buildinghomesindallas.com and not in a
Newsgroup with comedians.
>and I feel
> better than I have in many many years.
> (Holy shit.. can even bring this post on topic, since one of the homes
> I'm involved with is Steve Harvey's place up in Plano. Nice guy, Mr.
> Harvey.)
I'm sure he's nice to all the contruction workers who pound nails for
him. hey why not try out your act on him then when he doesn't laugh
you can tell him you hope he dies of cancer or a Heart attack.
> So fuck you.
still haven't answered the Question: Why are you here? so I'll answer
it for you...you are here because you have no friends and enemies are
better than being alone. about sums it up right there.
Tommy Joseph
> I'm in great shape and a steadily climbing level of good health, working with
> my hands doing some fantastic construction work in a very high-profile
> part of Dallas, helping build multi-million dollar homes ..... (snip)
> So fuck you.
> dana
I passed a construction site last week and I thought, "These guys are
building something they probably won't even be allowed into once it's
complete." Then it dawned on me. The only building into which construction
workers will be welcomed free of charge is a fucking jail. I can just
picture a guy in jail saying, "Hey, man, I helped build this motherfucker!"
Tommy Joe
Curt
>This is a fabulous thread, Gelder. Is this the type of comedy-related
>thread you feel is so sorely missing from this newsgroup?
>
>Tommy Joe
<snip a ton because Tommy Joe's apparently
too busy being NOT FUNNY to do it himself>
>> steve gelder
>> http://www.stevegelder.com
>>
>> The FAQ for alt.comedy.standup is currently located at:
>> http://members.aol.com/comedyfaq/faq.html
Now it's a fabulous thread.
--
Curt http://curtjames.com/
'nother nonfunny noncom
"Every thread's fabulous with a little Tommy Joe bashing!"
dE
>Usually people who accuse others of being a sockpuppet do so because
>they have done it so many times themselves. how many names have you
>been posting here in ACS? Probably easy to find all we have to do is
>look at any idiot who supports you and bam there it is.
I only use variations on the spelling of my own name or my IRC
nickname LordSnow. Search away. I use different mudged email
addresses to avoid spam in my Inbox. You sure act like you know what
time it is, but in reality you're completely in the dark.
>> When I want to be funny, I am. I don't post here to be funny. I post
>> here when I want to be entertained.
>entertained? Most have you killfiled and others just ignore you. The
>only ones who you ever interact with are trolls.
So you're saying plainly, you're a troll. Got it.
>you pay the two Drink minimum for that?
One of the wonders of USENET is, it's free. But you can continue to
pay if that flips your lid. Also, Mr. Grammar & Punctuation,
capitalizing random words in the middle of comments is weird.
>> Nope... not once have I been "fileted" by one of these punks.
>> Including you Gelder.
>again the master of sockpuppets Dana Karl is accusing others of doing
>the same thing. laughable.
Yes you are quite laughable.
>> For the record, I have a wonderful life, unlike so many who post here.
>> Beautiful wife, adorable kids, good friends.
>you continuing to post here proves you don't really have any friends.
No it doesn't, all it proves is that I have some time to kill as my
day progresses.
>You come here for Acceptance and love and then when no one buys your
>bullshit you spew your hate.
Maybe that's what you come here for, but I come to read, post,
discuss, argue, debate, type, relax, and be entertained. Sometimes I
just post to flame and vent. Surprise!
>I'm guessing the reason you have no friends in real life is because you
>act the same way you do here. you have all the Symptoms of a real misfit.
>How many of your "friends" have you wished death on when they disagreed
>with you, fuckmuffin?
You said it right with your first two words... you're guessing. And
not guessing too well, I might add. By the way Gelder, the harping
on the death wish thing is yours alone, so you've handily given
yourself away again.
>> I don't have to drive
>> from town to town in a broken down Saturn and sleep in nasty motels or
>> comedy condos for $100 bucks and act like it's great money.
>you should change that "I don't have to" to "I have no talent so I
>don't" you shun the life of a comedian because like this newsgroup it
>shuns you.
You don't know shit about me, not even my real name, you complete
cornhole, so to pretend you have any idea of my talent level in any
area of entertainment is quite ignorable.
>>I'm in
>> great shape and a steadily climbing level of good health, working with
>> my hands doing some fantastic construction work in a very high-profile
>> part of Dallas
>
>Thought you had heart problems and live in Thailand. make up your
>Mind liar.
And you don't read very well or comprehend what you read apparently.
Let me walk you through it slowly so you can grasp it. I went to
Thailand in May. I returned Dec. 7th. I was offered a job after
being home a mere 3 days and started with a plaster and stucco
company.
>>helping build multi-million dollar homes
>so? You carry Bricks around and hammer nails.
You should've saved up one of those capitals for the start of this
comment, moron. By the way, no, I don't carry bricks. I do, however,
pound a lot of nails. Mostly into cinder block.
Sure feels good to be working outdoors in the swesome weather we've
been having here in Texas, instead of sitting at a PC all day. I get
paid to work out basically.
>That's almost as impressive as your karaoke singing and knowledge of shitty Rock bands.
I sing karaoke, live music, and sometimes in the shower. Do I care if
you're impressed? Not in the least. What shitty rock bands would you
be referring to?
>You should be posting in alt.buildinghomesindallas.com and not in a
>Newsgroup with comedians.
Capital letter #7 and two more comments to go.
>>and I feel
>> better than I have in many many years.
>> (Holy shit.. can even bring this post on topic, since one of the homes
>> I'm involved with is Steve Harvey's place up in Plano. Nice guy, Mr.
>> Harvey.)
>I'm sure he's nice to all the contruction workers who pound nails for
>him. hey why not try out your act on him then when he doesn't laugh
>you can tell him you hope he dies of cancer or a Heart attack.
I don't speak to clients all that much, I go to do my job and go home.
What act would that be? I've told you several times I no longer do
standup. You got some synapse problem in your head where you can't
remember shit from one day to the next?
>> So fuck you.
>still haven't answered the Question:
I don't recall agreeing to answer any questions for you. I respond to
what I choose to respond to. You're just an anonymous "John"
sockpuppet without even an ounce of information about yourself.
>Why are you here? so I'll answer it for you...
Your answers have been consistently incorrect.
>you are here because you have no friends and enemies are
>better than being alone. about sums it up right there.
Apparently you've never been in a house full of kids and a wife. I'm
rarely *ever* alone unless I lock myself in the can with a book. But
you just go on thinking you got it all sewn up. : )
PI COMIC
people again? Sheeesh.
Chris
Xpicomic
cracka mutherfucka
dE
>Dammit Dana, you've been good for almost a year. Are you threatening to kill
>people again? Sheeesh.
Nope Chris I swear. I did, however, let Gelder know he's in line for
a good solid bust in the face. And surprise surprise, HE made the
death threat this time. : ) How's life in the PNW?
Tommy Joseph
> Apparently you've never been in a house full of kids and a wife. I'm
> rarely *ever* alone unless I lock myself in the can with a book. But
> you just go on thinking you got it all sewn up. : )
I don't live in a house full of kids and a wife and I still like to lock
myself in the can with a book, or even better a newspaper. When I'm taking
a crap I like to finish what I'm reading in one sitting. Yesterday I took a
really joyful crap while reading about the earthquake in Iran. When I got
to the most graphic part of the article I felt a quake of my own begin to
rumble deep within my bowels. Then I gazed into the toilet and saw my huge
turd lying there and I realized that my turd was itself a book of sorts -
"The History of Mankind".........
Mr. Shit
Caveat Lector
has a need for Mr. Shit.
"Tommy Joseph" <jo...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:BC14EE2B.1547B%jo...@bellsouth.net...
Tommy Joseph
> From: pic...@aol.com (PI COMIC)
> Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
> Newsgroups: alt.comedy.standup
> Date: 29 Dec 2003 02:11:50 GMT
> Subject: Re: Making a Full-Time Living
Threatening to kill someone is sort of like a 'terror alert'.
Threatening to kill people might a good way to keep from actually doing it.
It's kind of like when people think guys who talk to themselves are nuts,
but really these guys talk to themselves to keep from going nuts. Imagine
an alert from the media - "Man Threatens To Kill Many People" - so everyone
runs in a panic to escape the killer, trampling each other to death in the
process.
Tommy Joe (Code Red)
Tommy Joseph
> I've found that if one does enough Vicoden and Single Malt Scotch one never
> has a need for Mr. Shit.
Bullshit! Everyone has a need for Mr. Shit at one time or another. I
have a friend named Mr. Enema. Maybe you'd like to meet him. I have heard
from those who take Vicoden that it causes constipation. I have never taken
Vicoden because I never feel pain. The reason I never feel pain is because
I take good shits. Taking a good shit is the best medicine known to man and
you don't need a prescription to do it. You have a lot to learn. Mr. Shit
will teach you.
Mr. Shit