2."Calling Dr Howard,Dr Fine,Dr Howard".....i'd like to see what would
happen if someone said this in a Hospital.What would the reaction be?
3"Hold Hands You Love Birds"......uttered by Emil Sitka and everytime i
hear it,i laugh like crazy!!
4."Hi Lorna How You Doone?".....Asked Of Lorna Doone by Shemp in "Hot
Scots" & "Scotched In Scotland"
5."a Hot Stake Is Better Than A Cold Chop"
6."Nyuk,Nyuk,Nyuk"......A CLASSIC Line!!
7."Soitenly".......Another CLASSIC Line!!
8."No,I'll Wait;Maybe i'll get potatoes"
9.Gentlemen?......"Who came in?"
10."You burnt my little Bugle"
"Do you smell rubbish burning?"......."Smells like somebody's frying
"Fee fie foe fum, I'm the evil spirit that guards the Rooten Tooten
"I'm not me."
"What kind of fool do you take me for?"........"Why, is there more
than one kind?"
"I'm so hungry I could eat a skunk......RAW!"
"Lady why don't you get yourself an electric icebox? Does away with
all your work, worry, fuss and bother and gives you plenty of fresh
"That ain't calves ear, it's can of peas."
"We baked you a birthday cake, if you get a tummy ache, and you moan
and groan and woe, don't forget we told you so."
"Hya weevil old boll old rummy old rumpot. I see you brought your own
"Why didn't you bring me a softer board?"
Oh, yeah, and......
"I come from a family of dancers. My father died dancing.....on the
end of a rope."
"Yanks win world series, can you beat that?"
"Yeah, I won five bucks."
"No kidding, I had the Cubs......"
"Not me, I'm a pedestrian."
"Is this Susquehanna 2-2-2-2?"
"Tootootootoot, whaddaya think you're doing, playing trains?"
"If I gave you a dollar and your father gave you a dollar, how many
dollars would you have?"
"You don't know your arithmetic."
"You don't know my father."
"Go take a bath."
"But it ain't spring yet."
"Oh yes it is. See the pretty grass?"
"Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk."
"But I had a bath."
"July 4, 1910. I was too young to fight about it...then."
"What are you gonna do about it now?"
"Take a bath."
"Turn on anything, you'll get it."
"Young man what's wrong? You act as though the sword of Damacles is
hanging over your head."
"Lady, you must be psychic."
"I wonder whats wrong with that young man."
"Anything the Wright brothers can do, the Wrong brothers can do."
"Looks like a V-8."
"Yeah, ever hear of a V-5?"
"What's that a new car?"
"No, an old sock!"
"Put some tape on it."
"We forgot the tape."
"Well we had to forget something or we wouldn't be plumbers!"
So again I can't count!!!
>"Looks like a V-8."
>"Yeah, ever hear of a V-5?"
>"What's that a new car?"
>"No, an old sock!"
I've never understood this joke. Can you explain it to me?
On Sun, 2 Jan 2000 18:00:38 GMT, Infi...@world.com (Captain Infinity)
V-8 refers to an eight cylinder engine on an automobile. The V-5 that
Moe threatens, is the five fingers on his hand, which is then used to
deliver the "sock" (slap).
Makes sense to me!
"I've always been different, with one foot over the line; Winding up
somewhere, one step ahead, or behind"
2. "I'm the best man, he's the worst" Moe, introducing Larry to
3. ""I've been smart all the time, only YOU didn't know it!" Larry to
Moe, after an uncharacteristic compliment.
4. " That's nothing, we had a bed that went to Sears and Roebuck on the
ninth." Larry to a snooty bellhop, who'd pointed out a vaaasse that
went back to Henry the Eighth.
5. ""And THIS is my mother!" Larry, introducing Moe (in drag), to a
detective who had the "hots" for Curly.
6. "DId I give you carbolic acid? I'd love to!" Shemp, giving rocket
fuel ingredients to soldier.
7. "What a hideous, monstrous face!" Shemp, upon seeing a bat which
bore more than an uncanny resemblance to his own face.
8. "Hello, you old thing, old stuff, old fish monger, old skunk bait!"
Larry's greeting to Moe, at a society gathering.
9. "I forgot to turn it off, I feel so silly!' Larry, after going
upstairs specifically to turn off an alarm clock, Moe follows with "You
look it! and a slap.
10. "Such levity! You remind me of the Three Stooges!" Vernon Dent(?)
to the boys, who are grossly offended by the comparison, and react
Hundreds more, but no more time!
"Wake Up and go to sleep"
"Stop That Singin'!" -- Moe to Shemp during one of his "heep-be-be-bee"
"I ain't breathin'" -- Shemp, after being told to stop breathing down Moe's
"Go WEST young man....go WEST!!!!!!"
"So I raised my rifle and FIRED....naturally, the lions halted.."
"Somebody give me a PIE!"....
"What are you smoking, an innertube?"
"I think I'd look stunning in the riding habit."
"I think there'd be trouble figuring out which one was the horse!"
"Don't look now but I think we're about to be killed"
"Bring me back a piece of burnt toast and a rotten egg."
"Burnt toast and a rotten egg?"
"Yeah, I got a tape worm and that's good enough for it."
"Sorry Moe, I thought you was the goon."
"We all put in the yeast."
Moe to Curly: "Every time you think you weaken the nation!"
God Bless AMC for doing the Right Thing by the Boys!
I bid thee peace..
"Thank you, Goodnight and God Bless..." (Thanks, Red, wherever you are!)
Remove NOSPAMO to reply
"Don't take life too seriously; you'll never get out of it alive anyway."--Mark
A very good friend of mine who works in a hospital and is a Stoogephile of the
Highest Water was asked that same question. His answer?
"I want to see who shows up!"
"For Duty and Humanity"! I also work at a hospital and use this daily. About
one person in five gets the joke.
Pointless trivia, eh?
> x-no-archive: yes
> Corrections to my lines, and a couple more!
> Here's new ones by Curly from "Three Little Pigskins."
> Curly: "Did you ever hear [song] 'Snow, Snow, Beautiful Snow'?"
> Woman: "Did you write it?"
> Curly: "No, I shoveled it. I..." [stops talking when he realizes how
> dumb it sounds!]
> Later on:
> Woman: "Let's play post office!"
> Moe [I think]: "That's a kid's game."
> Curly: "Not the way I play it!"
> Remove " * " to reply to me.
> R. wrote in message ...
> >Sunday morning AMC shorts with no Whoopi!:
> >1. #5 Horses' Collars (1935)
> >2. #9 Pardon My Scotch (1935) [Moe actually suffers a couple of broken
> >when he falls down from the table Curly sawed in half.]
> > The face Moe makes when he sees the saw very close to him that Curly
> >tearing through the wooden door that fell on him, is priceless.
> >1. Curly: "Moe, Larry, the cheese! ...No, limburger!" Then Moe forces the
> >limburger down his throat.
> >2. Moe: What's this? Curly: A fist! [bonk!]
> > ...Moe: This ought to pick him up.
> > Curly: And lay him down too!
> >[After the "scotch" the boys make in the prescription dept.]
> > Guy introducing the boys: "This is Mr. McSniff, Mr. McSnuff, Mr.
> >McSnort (?)" Curly: makes a funny "snort" noise!
> > Billy Gilbert in a memorable performance as the singer the boys fill
> >up with fruit by throwing (Curly "fires" a banana at him!)
> I believe it was actually Gina Corrado, not Billy Gilbert.
> > Lady: The boys will now do their native (naked) dance.
> > Curly: I'm not going to take my clothes off for anybody!"
> >3. #7 Pop Goes the Easel (1935) Directed by Del Lord.
> > Might be my all-time personal favorite of the 190 shorts!
> > A great piece of slapstick and verbal comedy.
> > Moe: "How do you like that low-life?" [asked rhetorically after
> >"bum" tries to borrow Moe's sign for a social secretary job.]
> > This is the episode where Joan Howard and friend had a cameo when the
> >boys play "hopscotch" while being chased!
> > Curly: "You know the old saying, 'easel come, easel go.' "
> > Moe: "Easel out of here!"
> > Curly: "I don't see any grouse!" [bonk!] "Look at the grouse!"
> > Moe: "What do you expect to do with that?"
> > Curly: "Paint the crack."
> It is actually "Paint the cracks."
> > Curly: "Oh. Shuffleboard. Plus 10."
> > Moe: "Here's two." [eye poke]
> How could I forget! It actually went like this:
> Moe: "Pick out two
> Curly: "One, two." [eye poke]
> > Curly: "This is my sister, Crummette." [Larry] "And this is my mother
> >[Moe] (Curly using high-pitched female voice)."
> > After slapped by Moe.
> > Curly: "Whoa!"
> > Curly: "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk" (repeats)...when clay-throwing scenes start
> >just before he gets one in the face.
> > Moe: "Who started this?"
> > Others: "You did!"
> > Moe: Oh, yeah! [then a fantastic quintuple (5) slap by Moe to the
> After looking at the tape again, Moe didn't pull off a quintuple; he did
> an unbelievable sextuple slap! Six people, including Larry and Curly.
> >Now you know why so many people love Curly more than Shemp!
> >Curly is just funnier! (sorry to all the Shemp lovers out there; no hard
"Use GRITTO radio friends, so your hands will have that dishpan look.
How will the old man know you've been WORKING all day, if your hands
DON'T have that dishpan look, hmmmmmm????? And remember, GRITTO spelled
sideways is "OTJHIGHI"GHGGHHH"
"If I wasn't so weak from hunger I'd bat your brains out, if you had
"You got your special deck of cards?"
"We won't need them."
"Now I'll smell good on the inside, too."
"Can I help it if I ain't Cousin Basil."
" Ohh..Ohh..Ohh... Oh LOOK!!"
" That's sabatoogie!!"
"Pardon me while I laugh. Nyuk nyuk nyuk."
"You can't get this guy out of Sing Sing." "Good! That's just where he
"Does the deer have a little doe?"
"Yeah, two bucks!"
"Here's fivesies!" [SMACK}
"Vernacular??" "That's a doiby!!"
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Curly: Vice? I have no vice, I'm as pure as the driven snow! (clasps hands together and looks heaven
Moe: Yeah? Well ya drifted!! Bionk!
Why i oughta
you oughta what
i oughta be more careful
Lady: your cousin basil? then who is... how dare you pretend to be my
cousin basil, i'll teach you a thing or two, you wolf, dont you dare
strike me, taking advantage of a poor helpless woman
Larry: boy those kisses are getting louder
Lady, you you you horrible person you
Moe: what happened kid?
Shemp: can i help it im not cousin basil?
Moe: This is all your fault you
Moe: I'd knock your brains out if you had any!
Moe: Quite numb skulls, I'm broadcasting
the classic Brighto "commercial" i think thats everyones favorite
curley: i'm trying to think but nuthin happens
Moe: Anything the right brothers can do the wrong brothers can do
"For Duty and Humanity!"
"Tragedy is when you cut your finger. Comedy is
when you fall down an open sewer and die."
Speaking oof the Niagara Falls bit in gents without Cents, did you know there's
a small blooper when the guys are at the shipyard? Listen carefully after Curly
and Larry do their part in the bit, then Larry and Moe do their bit. When Larry
and Moe start the Niagara falls bit together, Larry says "0Inch by inch" first,
instead of "Step by step" then quickly corrects himself in a whisper. .