A Firesign Chat for May 10, 2012 [4 parts]

[Catherwood]

[part 1 of 4]
HTML version at
http://www.firesigntheatre.com/chat/logs/fstchat_20120510.html

||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for May 10, 2012 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| Catherwood ushers BroncoTweeny inside, makes a note of the time (7:20 PM), then fades off into the distance going on about the waiting room or the sitting room or something.
BroncoTweeny: Hi RedPill
BroncoTweeny: Where ya from?
||||||||| It's 7:25 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| RedPillTweeny - dead from the yaws
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
BroncoTweeny: I'm so sorry. You didn't beat the reaper...
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 8 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
||||||||| It's 8:25 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| BroncoTweeny - dead from dengue fever
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, May 10, 2012 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!" -- then he looks around at the empty room, looks at his watch, and mumbles "...am I early?"
||||||||| Catherwood ushers cease into the room, accepts an I.O.U. as a gratuity, mumbles something about 9:02 PM, then departs.
cease: like, wow, man
cease: ive invented my own dimension
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in and pipes up "Presenting 'Principalpoop', just granted probation at 9:05 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
Principalpoop: hello
Principalpoop: what number is your dimension?
cease: hey poop
cease: not only my shit
Principalpoop: i have entered your dimension?
cease: i tol d you bergman wanted to be buried in syria.
Principalpoop: we are sharing a dream?
cease: watch8ihnhg bomb in damascas news, much deagn
Principalpoop: you never told me that lol
cease: too graphic to show
cease: now you;re fuckin told
Principalpoop: so, they are going to plant him there?
cease: great time smuggling hash there
Principalpoop: smashing hugs too
cease: his duaghter said, what? yo uwant me to bury a jew in the middle of a cyurcian civil war?
cease: syrian
Principalpoop: beirut is supposed to be beautiful
Principalpoop: where it has not been bombs or rockets and massacres
cease: the liklihood of me going to beirut hovers near zero
Principalpoop: I never thought I would go to paris or rome or alexandria but I did
Principalpoop: you never know
Principalpoop: but ok, the odds of my returning to any of those places is near zero
cease: you watch baseball?
Principalpoop: no, athletes make too much money, upsets me
||||||||| Catherwood enters with Elayne close behind, mutters something about disrupting his 9:14 PM tree-stunting plans, and rushes off to the anteroom.
Principalpoop: hi E
Elayne: Evenin' Cat, Poop! Wait, that didn't come out right.
cease: hey el
cease: no sandbox for me
Principalpoop: an unlikely trio
cease: my jays up 5-1 over min
Principalpoop: that is the charm of firesign chat
cease: lots of confab with krasner these days
cease: want to do something for adbusters to bring him back there.
Principalpoop: we got cold again here, what is the weather up north?
Elayne: It's a bit windy in NYC, but a lovely day after the rain finally subsided.
Principalpoop: i like any promotions that involves naked women, Peta are wrong, but fun stunts
Principalpoop: ahh nice
Principalpoop: the 17 year locusts are in my area, wow loud, if you know them
Principalpoop: cicacads, katydids, various names
Elayne: Tasty cicadas!!
Principalpoop: oops yes cicadas, they can be eaten?
Elayne: Fry 'em up good!, my husband just said.
Elayne: I think doggies eat 'em.
cease: i would rather not know that
: Hola amigos
||||||||| BroncoTweeny enters at 9:20 PM as Catherwood takes their hat and goat and rushes off to the Chapeau Manger.
BroncoTweeny: Hola amigos
Principalpoop: hey tweeny
Elayne: We once heard a news report about a dog eating them, I think, and thus was born our oft-used (with each other) phrase "Tasty cicadas!"
Elayne: Hey Tween!
cease: yanis on top of tampa i see, el
cease: hey tween
Principalpoop: my neighbor said somebody told him that squirrels eat them
cease: yankees
Principalpoop: i thought the flute player was doing something in florida...
Elayne: Will have to remember to start watching baseball again, Cat. We're in something of a dilemma, we just got a HD TV and we can't install the new cable box until our DVR is empty, so I've been furiously watching recorded programs all week.
Elayne: Still have 3 weeks' worth of Colbert Report and at least a month of food-type shows to get through.
Principalpoop: HD is old hat now, the japanese have released the next step up, ultra-view or something
Elayne: And on Saturday we go to visit Mom (and stop at Ikea to buy a piece of furniture to hold the new TV)...
||||||||| Outside, the 9:23 PM crosstown bus from Billville pulls away, leaving Merlyn coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
cease: we are far too poor to afford cable, el
Principalpoop: get a bowl of cheetos, a gallon of root beer and plant yourself in that couch hehe
Principalpoop: Hey M
Merlyn: can't you just hang the TV on the wall?
Merlyn: hey PP
Principalpoop: some are way heavy, I would not trust them on a wall
cease: hang down your head, john merlyn
Principalpoop: for what they cost
Merlyn: what's red, hangs on the wall, and whistles?
Elayne: Hey Brian! We could, but then Amy couldn't reach her food at the top of the bookcase (where Datsa can't get at it). She needs to jump up on something. The old TV was thick enough for her to use as a jumping-off point.
Elayne: Besides, our walls aren't the sturdiest, not sure they'd hold the 50 pounds.
Merlyn: answer: a herring
Principalpoop: and the whistling?
Merlyn: you can paint it red, you can hang it on the wall, and I just said it whistles to make it harder
cease: jays just scored a funny run
BroncoTweeny: He walked into a great sandstone building, P
Principalpoop: right, the whistling part was a red herring too
Principalpoop: a canadian walked into a bar, ouch, eh

[Catherwood]

[part 2 of 4]
cease: ball fell between congregated infielderrs
Principalpoop: i thought you had it...
cease: keystone cops kinda play
cease: i laughed with glee
cease: glue wasnt available
BroncoTweeny: lol 6
BroncoTweeny: Sorry, wrong chat
Principalpoop: this may be too much E
Principalpoop: http://www.chinasmack.com/2012/stories/zoo-caretaker-licks-monkeys-butt-to-help-it-defecate.html
BroncoTweeny: I also am part of Radio Free Dishnuts - www.dishnuts.net
Elayne: China Smack is a weird site, Prinpoop, I'll give you that. I'll put a NSFW (Not Safe For Whatever) warning on it when I blog it. Hang on.
cease: nuts are good
cease: you like games, eh, el?
Principalpoop: i have not browsed there, stopped at that one hehe
cease: the idea of playing a game is utterly alien to me
Principalpoop: you did not play scrabble or monopoly or clue or such as a kid?
Elayne: All done. http://elayneriggs.blogspot.com/2012/05/silly-site-o-day_10.html
Principalpoop: lol
Elayne: I play a couple games on my phone during my daily commute, Words With Friends and a solitaire game called Spider.
Principalpoop: we had marathons of the various games when young
Elayne: And my ex-husband got me addicted to a game on Facebook by Playdom called Gardens of Time. Playdom then came out with another game pretty much using the same kinds of things, so I got addicted to that too.
Principalpoop: how many suits in spider? i do all 4
Elayne: It's good though, because it has a social aspect to it and I've made a number of new friends who also play.
Elayne: Prinpoop, four suits, two decks.
cease: yes you are a social maget, el
Elayne: Spider is hella hard, I don't win it that often, which is what makes it challenging.
Principalpoop: ok, the windows version
cease: i am a social minus
Principalpoop: yes, if too easy, not enough attention required to make it the distraction it should be lol
cease: you are a social magnet, el
BroncoTweeny: lol
cease: teh firesign owe much to your ability to create comunuijty
Principalpoop: i had a professor who spoke of social velocity, how many groups, how active in each and such
BroncoTweeny: Can you get a shot for social magnetism?
Principalpoop: i am stalled
Elayne: I attract some and repel others, Cat. THat's how it's always been.
Principalpoop: eat more iron
BroncoTweeny: and yes, thanks for all you've done to promote FST, E :-)
cease: lucky am i to be among the attracted
cease: you alowed me contact with the 4 or 5
||||||||| no_anchovies sashays in at 9:40 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
Elayne: Aww, thanks guys. Um, I'm not dying, am I? I feel like I'm in the running for a lifetime achievement award or something. Stop making me paranoid!
Elayne: Hey no anch!
cease: that lead to Neal Amid. if i had had tombstoned, it would say Cat, author of Nea Amid.
no_anchovies: when do we cut the watermelon open?
Principalpoop: i wanta to see a mega-death match between firesign theatre and monty python
Elayne: My tombstone (even though I'm going to be cremated) will read MOSTLY, SHE TALKED
Principalpoop: is it ripe? plonk it
cease: i can barely talk, el
no_anchovies np. Elvis Costello
cease: his wife plays good piano
Elayne: That's true, Cat. As the Blythe Danner character said of Thomas Jefferson in 1776, "My husband is not... a talker..."
Principalpoop: epitath, he coulda beena contenda hehe
cease: diana kroll
no_anchovies: first wife was no slouch either... tho' i reckon he used her up.
cease: i am having interestting experiences with the vegas job thing
cease: you on wife 2?
Principalpoop: I heard you were too stubborn to die E :p
no_anchovies (celebrity marriages are even more fragile than those of us plain ol' Bozos...)
cease: the best thing that ever happened to me is te fact i've been married to Fumiyo for the past 37 years
Elayne: PrinPoop, as I've heard said about so many people (say, a Dick Cheney type of person), "God don't want 'im, he's too mean"
Principalpoop: hehe
cease: sounds like a lyric
no_anchovies: congrats C. long-term is an admirable thing, no matter what they say on Fox-News.
Principalpoop: luck and hard work, wow
Principalpoop: but seriously folks, neil diamond
no_anchovies: Cracklin' !
Principalpoop: 71 and 42, is there a phrase for that?
no_anchovies: hey Tween... finally got to check out some of your Roadkill. nice job.
Principalpoop: not march and september, maybe july and november?
Elayne: I hope Dex shows up tonight, he and I are supposed to meet for lunch tomorrow.
cease: the best lunch i ever had was lunch with dex
Elayne: I have to make sure he brings me some Dresden Files books. :)
Elayne: He's a good lunch companion, Cat.
no_anchovies: Dex is in NY?
Elayne: We'll probably go to that Indian restaurant near my office, $12 all you can eat.
||||||||| Catherwood tiptoes into the room, and intones "Announcing 'Woody 1', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 9:56 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the vestibule...
Principalpoop: you can't tell by his accent?
Elayne: I don't know if he's here at the moment, No Anch, but yes, he lives in The City.
Elayne: Hey Woody!
Principalpoop: hey woody
cease: you and dex, youe partners and friends make a wonderful assembledge for me when i come to nyc
cease: hey wood
no_anchovies: which Indian Restaurant & what street?
Woody 1: I had anchovies on our pizza tonight--my half.
Principalpoop: yumk
Woody 1: Hey, guys.
cease: worst pizza i ever had was at montreal edpo 67, anchovies
cease: i want them bombed back to the stone age
cease: hows it goin, wood?
no_anchovies (makes his own Pizza these days)
Woody 1: Good.
cease: eletist!
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 10 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
no_anchovies: nah, just safer.
Woody 1: Watched the third The Thing. Not bad.
cease: italian deli 3 blocks from our house has pizza dough so we are experimenting
no_anchovies: one doesn't "buy" pizza in Southern California. :- |
Woody 1: but not great
cease: because?

[Catherwood]

[part 3 of 4]
no_anchovies: i don't mind using Boboli bread, but i make the sauce & use fresh mozz.
no_anchovies: oh... it sucks.
Principalpoop: blue mozz?
no_anchovies: pretty much the main (of few) things i miss about NYC: The Food.
Woody 1: Let my wife listen to "Over The Edge" from "In the Next World...." she thought it was great.
no_anchovies: yep. underrated album. like that one.
Woody 1: Very bizarre indeed.
cease: having a wife is good
no_anchovies: "holds up seconds..." gets me every time.
Elayne: Yes, we are spoiled by the food here, which doesn't spoil as a rule.
Woody 1: I have to try and promote. My book is available at rosedogbookstore.com and amazon, Places in the Woods by Greg J. Grotius
no_anchovies: been a long time. about... 26 yrs since i lived in NYC.
Woody 1: So now you know my real name.
cease: woody, dont fuck up
no_anchovies: the pseudonym now makes sense.
Woody 1: Sorry.
no_anchovies: just kidding. i think Grotius sounds rather cool, actually.
no_anchovies: almost as euphonious an appellation as Mahatma Kane Jeeves, or Carl LaFong.
Woody 1: Look up Hugo Grotius, my ancestor--quite a story.
no_anchovies: got a link?
no_anchovies is bandwidth challenged
Principalpoop: a tulip guy huh?
Woody 1: Here's one: http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/grotius/
no_anchovies: speaking of... gotta send those Mothersday flowers.
Elayne: Need to dash, my coworker wants to Facebook-chat with me *sigh*. If Dex shows up, can someone please ask him to call me @ the office tomorrow AM? Thanks.
Elayne: Next week, all.
||||||||| Elayne says "Catherwood, call me a cab." After the obvious joke, Elayne exits at 10:16 PM.
Woody 1: Night Elayne.
cease: mothers transcend zappa
cease: by el
Principalpoop: night E
no_anchovies: interesting. i see you meant "ancestor" more as a euphemism.
Woody 1: Places in The Woods Greg J. Grotius
no_anchovies: Peaches En Regalia.
BroncoTweeny: Be wee and happy, Dear Friends
Principalpoop: ciao tween
BroncoTweeny: *well, not WE
no_anchovies: ah. you were off pulling your tween, eh?
Woody 1: Really an ancestor.
cease: by tween
BroncoTweeny: Until last time, again...
||||||||| At 10:19 PM, the lights go out! Rocky Rococo's voice pierces the inky darkness: "I've got you now, BroncoTweeny!" Shattering glass is heard, and then the lights come back on...
Principalpoop: not bad woody, not bad at all
Principalpoop: impressive
no_anchovies: very cool, Woody. i just wasn't expecting... him to be from the time of the Inquisiton! : - )
Principalpoop: what is that? 12, 13 generations ago, not far
no_anchovies: i can't stay tonite either. catch ya's next time.
no_anchovies: nitey all.
Principalpoop: ciao no
||||||||| no_anchovies leaves to catch the 10:21 PM train to California.
cease: by no
Woody 1: Look into the book and at rosedogbookstore.com and read the about the story. Spread it around, friends. Gotta get to bed. Love and all that stuff. Woody
Principalpoop: oh ciao woody
||||||||| Catherwood accompanies Bunnyloy in through the front door at 10:24 PM, picks up his cues (only slightly scorched), and heads for the billiard room.
||||||||| At 10:24 PM, Bunnyloy vanishes mysteriously -- just as Nino the Mind Boggler predicted!
Principalpoop: hip hop bunny
||||||||| 10:24 PM: Bunnyboy jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past half hour!"
Bunnyboy: Let's try that again.
Principalpoop: dog wants out, I will jump ship too, ciao
||||||||| "Hey Woody 1!" ... Woody 1 turns, and sees Bradshaw approching with the handcuffs, and is dragged away, screaming "it's only 10:24 PM, I don't have to go yet!"...
||||||||| "10:24 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Principalpoop, who then rushes out through the french doors and down through the garden.
Bunnyboy: Lo dere.
cease: hi bun
Bunnyboy: Oh, I chased everyone out.
Bunnyboy: Hiya cat.
Bunnyboy: Whazzreal?
cease: i'm applying for job on other computer
Bunnyboy: Where? What?
cease: starving not a good idea
cease: vegas
Bunnyboy: Pit boss?
Bunnyboy: Dual citizenship?
cease: tv
Bunnyboy: Writing? Reading?
cease: i have an idea for a show, it may happen
Bunnyboy: Production?
cease: yes
Bunnyboy: Cool beans! Break a shake!
cease: am very happy about this
Bunnyboy: Got my copy of TROLLING THE WOE yesterday. Lovely book.
cease: i want al the bet for lily
cease: io can barley see at al
Bunnyboy: Certainly!
cease: great meeting you agina at the eent
cease: cant fuckin see
Bunnyboy: Wouldn't have missed it. Great to see you!
Merlyn: oh hey dere
Merlyn: I've been doing stuff
Bunnyboy bumps into a column
cease: will that happen again,, us meeting/
cease: its maestro merl
Bunnyboy: Oh, this must be the room not to be seen in.
cease: i should say fuck less often
Bunnyboy: Hiya.
Bunnyboy: Say less, do more.
cease: lol
Bunnyboy: Yoda was right.
Merlyn: He was a republican?
Bunnyboy: No, that's grumble, mewl and do nothing.
Bunnyboy: And kneecap anyone who tries to do anything.

[Catherwood]

[part 4 of 4]
cease: hey merl, any news about firesign sale of bergman shows?
Bunnyboy: And laugh, and say you're only joking...
cease: what i heard from taylor not optimistic
Bunnyboy: ...unless you're talking about a dog.
Merlyn: you mean his solo standup stuff? I dunno; why is taylor pessimistic?
cease: no no
Merlyn: RFO shows?
cease: i meant the show we saw in kirkland and the la show
Merlyn: oh
cease: now why he was pessimitstic, why ask me?
Merlyn: I think the kirkland is expected to be available at some point, they recorded it
cease: you sat near me
Merlyn: thought I might mention why he's pessimistic
Merlyn: I mean HE
Merlyn: not I
cease: judith told people not to record cuz it wuld be sold later
Merlyn: ok, I don't know why Taylor would think otherwise
cease: i hope it happens
Merlyn: I really think it would at some point
cease: yes
cease: i know judith wants it
cease: lily must aprove
Merlyn: maybe taylor just means he's swamped for the foreseeable future
cease: yeah
Merlyn: I can dig that
cease: disney adtually pays him
Bunnyboy: I've been taking a second passthrough of the DOMM shows. Makes my commute pleasant.
cease: any revelations, bun?
Bunnyboy: I'm through 18 Hour Hours.
cease: good for you
Bunnyboy: It's fun to see some of the roots of longtime bits/characters. And it's great to listen to them rap.
cease: yes
Merlyn: yeah
Merlyn: Big.
Bunnyboy: Have you both managed to get through a once-around of the whole set?
Merlyn: nope
cease: what is that?
Bunnyboy: DUKE OF MADNESS MOTORS.
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 11 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Merlyn: daily shoe, see you next thyme
cease: by
||||||||| "Hey Merlyn!" ... Merlyn turns, and sees Bradshaw approching with the handcuffs, and is dragged away, screaming "it's only 11:01 PM, I don't have to go yet!"...
||||||||| Catherwood says "11:01 PM, time for SOMEONE to leave!", grabs cease by the collar and gives 'em the old bum's rush out the door
Bunnyboy: Nitey, Merl!
Bunnyboy: Oh! Bye, cat!
Bunnyboy: Goodnight, Catherwood, you old "frent"!
||||||||| Catherwood rushes over to Bunnyboy and mumbles "Typing my name just to rile me, eh?"
||||||||| "11:04 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Bunnyboy, who then runs out through the french doors and down through the garden.
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:32 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."