I'm a miserable Alpha Xi Delta
Knawc
I am an Alpha Xi Delat alum from Kent State University and I agree that
the only way you will make the sorority better is to be active, go to
meetings and quills. Try to get together with your sisters and have
informal meetings, i.e. movie night at the house, meet for lunch, get
together and take a road trip and visit another Alpha Xi Delta house.
Please don't forget why you became an Alpha XI Delta. I know for me it is
one of the most special times of my life was when I became an Alpha Xi
Delta.
Angela
Alpha Xi Delta
Beta Tau
@}->--------
why is love a sorrowful thing
this i will never understand,
pain and passion
linked together
forever hand and hand
-----l. hope
la gringa bonita
We do that, all that, but there is a powerful clique in charge
of the sorority who does all they can to make sure that undesireables
are excluded from any and all activities outside of meetings. I've
never felt welcome anywhere at anytime in the sorority, I feel like
I joined the military or something. I hate being around them because
they constantly degrade me and my interests and my religious beliefs
(I'm Jewish). It doesn't feel good to have them come into my room and
tell me that my books are boring, my CDs suck, and how can I watch those
subtitled movies?????? I even got chewed out by one for discussing
politics with our housemother...can you imagine that? One of them even
ripped two bumper stickers that she didn't agree with off of my car, tearing
off paint in the process.....I don't even get phone messages, the most
stark example being last night, when a friend called twice and a sister
lied about not having spoken to her that night.....I hate it and I want
to quit....I'm sorry, these people are not my sisters. They go out
of their way to make me feel excluded and unwanted. If they don't
want me around, they don't get my money, either. To hell with them!
KT
la gringa bonita
*Stacey gives KT a supportive hug* After what has happened
to me with these girls, I wouldn't rush again for all the
tea in china. As for my so-called sisters, they're a
bunch of whores. I can't stand them. We were at dinner and
I was sitting at a table with some girls I didn't particularly
like, but I was being as polite as possible. They were
talking, constantly trying to one-up each other; one girl would
express an opinion and another would say in a bitchy voice
"Well, I think (the opposite)." I tried several times to
jump inot the conversation, but every time I would start to talk,
a girl would cut me off, and they would pay attention to her
instead of me. I finally got fed up, got up, threw my plate
in the trash without touching the steaks we had specially ordered,
and left. Some girl yelled at me as I walked away, "Thanks a lot
for wasting food, Stacey; those were expensive." I ignored
her but I couldn't believe what I heard. What a crock of shit.
I hate this house and I'm absolutely postively utterly miserable.
I'm skipping rush this year, and they can fine me to their heart's
content, I'm not paying one damn cent. Those fucking bitches can
goddamn do it without me this year. Looks like they'll have to
find another soloist for pref night, fucking whores.
*excuse the profanity, but I really REALLY hate these people*
I am ASHAMED to call myself an Alpha Xi Delta. Just thought I'd
let you know. I should have joined a real sorority.
Stacey
*GDI*
Kathy Graczyk
Hi
What you should do is ask your national for automatic alumni status, and
then move out of the house. With alumni status the chapter can not fine
you for not being involved.
Since you have seen the ritual I am pretty sure they will not let you
rush another sorority.
I wish you good luck,
Kathy
gra...@rpi.edu
Phi Sigma Sigma, Gamma Theta Chapter
Had2Byou
Hi :)
I am so sorry to hear you're unhappy with your sorority -- I know the
feeling, though, since even though my chapter (Delta Delta Delta, Beta Chi
chapter) is pretty small, we often break up into cliques. (For the most
part, we are pretty close, but maybe that's because Ball State University
sororities do not have houses).
If all else fails, there is always the choice of leaving the sorority.
Someone suggested having your status changed to "clear" (or something like
that) and re-rushing, and that's a good idea, if it's possible. Are you
the only unhappy member? If there are others who are unsatisfied with
their experiences, maybe you could bring it up with nationals? A sorority
on my campus lost a lot of members because they didn't "have the vision we
were trying for" (this is what the president of that sorority told me
during rush when I was a rush guest). I don't know what she was talking
about, but this sorority ended up being pretty small during rush.
If things are as bad as you say they are (and they do sound pretty bad),
I'm sure you can't be the only unhappy one.
Good luck!
Elaine Arboe,
Delta Delta Delta, Beta chi chapter
Ball State University
Allison Cherry
I'm sorry to hear that your sorority experience has been so bad. The best
thing for everyone concerned would be for you to get out now before
things get worse. It really shouldn't be like that.
Allison Cherry
Alpha Chi Omega -Theta Pi
UC Davis
NoPesetas
Okay . I realize that you're upset, but you don't need to say that it's
"Alpha Xi Delta's" fault. You shouldn't blame the intl. organization.
I have a question: What happened to spark all of this dissatisfaction
w/your house?
Also, if it isn't everything that you want it to be, why don't you just
de-activate? If AZ isn't doing it for you, and isn't a positive force in
your life, just get out while you can. You may be happier if you do. I
don;t know which year you're in at your college, but maybe next year you
could start fresh w/no greek strings to tie you down.
All of my days as a fuzzie (i'm a senior now at the Beta Xi chapter at
Marietta College - OH) have not been all teddy bears and pink roses
either. I've been on probation from National, I haven't been best friends
w/everyone in the chapter, but I think you'll find situations like that at
any college, in any sorority. I guess what I'm trying to say is that
other people out there can feel your pain, and it's alright to
deactivate--plus, you'll save $$$$.
Leah
nope...@aol.com
SophiaAH
It's really easy for those of us who have had positive experiences as
AXiD's (or in other sororities) to give Stacey advice. However, from what
it sounds like, her situation is extreme. Petitioning for alumnae status
is an excellent idea. From what it sounds like, she's already invested a
lot of time and energy into the sorority. By becoming alum, she can still
be a part of the national organiztion. Hopefully, she can find an alumnae
chapter or other AXiD's who are eaier to get along with. I like to think
some of us are pretty nice.
Sophia Hanna,
Alpha Xi Delta Alum
Indiana U. of PA
SophiaAH
I was going to send e-mail directly to Stacey, but I lost the post with
her address on it. So I'm sending it to the group.
Stacey,
I'm truly sorry you've had to go through this experience. Being in a
sorority can be difficult enough when everyone gets along. It's easy for
those of us who have had positive experiences to give advice about trying
to be active and promoting sisterhood. However, when your sisters won't
work with you there's only so much you can do.
Someone reccommended alumnae status. That is an excellent idea. After
all, Alpha Xi Delta as a national organization isn't like your chapter.
Somewhere out there are nice AXiD's. By becoming alum, you still have a
wide range of unique and wonderful sisters across the world. As for the
situation at hand, is there any way you could move out of the house? It
sounds like you need to get away from these women who seem to have
forgotton Alpha Xi Delta's purpose.
When times get tough, think back to what made you decide to pledge. Look
in your Bonds of Sisterhood book and remember our founder's message. In
the meantime, form friendships with others who share the same values that
you have. While I remain close with many of my sisters, my two roommates
who were not Greek are two of my best friends.
I know you're at your wits end, but I strongly urge you to disengage
yourself from your chapter and not AXiD as a whole. I wish you good luck
with whatever you decide to do. E-mail me and let me know what happens.
Sophia Hanna
Dutch
SophiaAH (soph...@aol.com) wrote:
: I was going to send e-mail directly to Stacey, but I lost the post with
: Stacey,
--
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| Dutch - All stressed out with no one to choke! |
| CalState University, San Marcos |
| Tau Kappa Epsilon Fraternity Nothoi #22 |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The study of economics won't keep you out of the bread line;
but at least you will know why you're there."
Dutch
SophiaAH (soph...@aol.com) wrote:
: Stacey,
: I'm truly sorry you've had to go through this experience. Being in a
: Someone reccommended alumnae status. That is an excellent idea. After
: all, Alpha Xi Delta as a national organization isn't like your chapter.
: Somewhere out there are nice AXiD's. By becoming alum, you still have a
For some reason my original post didn't go.
I just wanted to say that we have the best AZDs here at CalState San Marcos.
An awesome group of people wioth the best hearts..........
Sorry to hear about your problems but it isn't true everywhere.
la gringa bonita
That's all swell and good, beta Xi, but our chapter isn't ALLOWING
anyone to deactivate, or suspend their memberships. I hate the
sorority and everything associated with it at U.T. I could go to another
college and visit, sure, but I'd never visit the Alpha Xi's there, because
these negativeconnotations will stay with me the rest of my life.
These people treated me like crap. I hate Alpha Xi Delta.
Xi Hate,
Stacey
la gringa bonita
Why should I get out? It's my sorority too, and I have just
as much right to be there as they do, those miserable little fuckheads!
If I get out, it's letting them win, 100%!!!!!!!!! They
will have won, they will have conquered me, and that is not
exactly sisterly, is it? Treat sisters like shit to get them
to quit? What kind of shit is that????? it's horrible!!!!!!!
These "sisters" aren't worth me wasting saliva to SPIT on!
But I will not be THREATENED or SCARED into giving in
to THEM. I want to STICK around andshow those new pledges
next year what canhappen to them, and hopefully they'll drop,
and Alpha Xi at U.T. will be no more!!!!! I'll fucking help
them pack.
W. Edwards
hat's all swell and good, beta Xi, but our chapter isn't ALLOWING
>
Please excuse my ignorance, but does your chapter have a choice? I mean,
if you want to leave, how can they stop you? Even if you went through
initiation, that doesn't mean that they own you. Have you tried talking to
the alumnae advisors?
As far as going to another school, it seems like you can if you want, but
I still can't see why you can't continue to go to U Texas if that's where
you want to be. Honestly, leaving a sorority isn't the end of the world,
and you may meet some really great independent friends that you never
would have gotten a chance to meet when you stayed in the house.
Wendy E
sorority and everything associated with it at U.T.
I could go to another
> college and visit, sure, but I'd never visit the Alpha Xi's there, because
> these negativeconnotations will stay with me the rest of my life.
> These people treated me like crap. I hate Alpha Xi Delta.
> Xi Hate,
> Stacey
--
"We had the experience, but missed the meaning."
T.S. Eliot
"Heh heh heh heh .... That was cool. "
Beavis & Butthead
la gringa bonita
We can't get alum status unless we've been an A Xi D
for four years....I've only been one for ONE. Alum
status is out of the question for me right now.
Stacey
Had2Byou
>>That's all swell and good, beta Xi, but our chapter isn't ALLOWING
anyone to deactivate, or suspend their memberships>>
Is that the chapter's decision, or the national organization's decision to
make?
la gringa bonita
Does it really matter? They're not allowing it anyway,
no matter whose decision it is, they've already made
our minds up for us, which I really hate. They've told us
to either give it all up for Alpha Xi Delta, or to
get the hell out. They said it should come #1 in our
lives...how ridiculous!!!!!!!! Who cares???????????????
If I wanted to live this way, I would have joined the military;
at least there, they pay YOU.
Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo
What they are suggesting is that you may be an exception. See, most
sorority sisters don't go around abusing each other. Alum status is
NOT out of the question for you. You can even try starting at the
top, with whomever is in charge of Collegians at the national level.
At any rate, a chapter that abuses its members should be at least
chastised by National, if not investigated, punished, and shut down.
-joanna
la gringa bonita <ch...@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu> warbled:
--
]:o_ o/
|O = joanna l. salgado __ computer greek (delta gamma) ___|--
|_o= shower philosopher call...@leland.stanford.edu \
@ `
Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo
They can't decide for you. Take it to National.
Or you can always take it to whatever Judicial Board/Ombudsperson your
campus has. Somehow I doubt that UT would be thrilled to know what
your sorority is doing to you.
As a last resort, you can even sue them.
-joanna
Upsilon Chapter, Delta Gamma
VP: Social Standards and Honor Board Chair
(which means that I have to know the rules and I bet AXiD's rules are
pretty similar)
la gringa bonita <ch...@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu> warbled:
la gringa bonita
They'll sue me if I don't pay my dues. They have done it to at least ten
other girls in the chapter already.
SophiaAH
Stacey-
Sounds like you have two options. Stick it out in a situation that's
making you miserable and continue to complain about it. Or write off the
experience as a loss and get out now. Once again, I'm sorry this
experience has been so terrible for you and that you hate Alpha Xi Delta
so much. Remember, this problem is with this particular CHAPTER, not AXiD
as a whole. If you hate it so much, and for whatever reason you can't
deinitiate or become alum, distance yourself from it. I believe that
being fined for not attending events isn't condoned by national. You can
always appeal to them for some kind of help, even if it's just preventing
your sisters from charging you.
Your chapter sounds like it needs a lot of help. If your advisor won't
help, try your Greek life office. If the Greek life office won't help,
appeal to National. If you don't want help, but just want out these
people should be able to help you do that too.
Good luck!
Sophia Hanna,
Alpha Xi Delta Alum
Delta Nu Chapter
KT
be...@birmingham.com
CH>Why should I get out? It's my sorority too, and I have just
CH>as much right to be there as they do, those miserable little fuckheads!
CH>If I get out, it's letting them win, 100%!!!!!!!!! They
CH>will have won, they will have conquered me, and that is not
CH>exactly sisterly, is it? Treat sisters like shit to get them
CH>to quit? What kind of shit is that????? it's horrible!!!!!!!
CH>These "sisters" aren't worth me wasting saliva to SPIT on!
CH>But I will not be THREATENED or SCARED into giving in
CH>to THEM. I want to STICK around andshow those new pledges
CH>next year what canhappen to them, and hopefully they'll drop,
CH>and Alpha Xi at U.T. will be no more!!!!! I'll fucking help
CH>them pack.
CH>On 15 May 1996, Allison Cherry wrote:
CH>> I'm sorry to hear that your sorority experience has been so bad. The best
CH>> thing for everyone concerned would be for you to get out now before
CH>> things get worse. It really shouldn't be like that.
CH>>
CH>> Allison Cherry
CH>> Alpha Chi Omega -Theta Pi
CH>> UC Davis
CH>>
CH>>
CH>>
--
[via Gateway Enhancer v1.06a]
Ashopper
I was an AXD at UT and it was awful!!! I remember hearing the rule about
no alum status unless you've been there 4 years. However, write to
Nationals, they should help!