KIDNAPPED!!!
russell
So I switched on my compooper ready to lash out indescriminately at all the
posters at the sheep news group in my regular bout of insults and slutty
behaviour. But when I pressed the synch. button, it all PINGED out of
existence!! ALL OF IT!! NOOOOOOO.
I may probably be able to access it from deja.cack, but it still hurts... :(
Someone stole my ng and ... *sob*... I thought I'd lost you all *waaaaaahhh*
Please write. I'm sitting here in free.adjective-army and there are a few
worrying natives lurking here. They may kill me.
- rrrrrrrrr
xxxEDxxx
news:8s70de$lah$3...@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...
Oh dear.
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
russell
xxxEDxxx <ed_cat_98@*NoSpam*yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:971644760.9248.3...@news.demon.co.uk...
A VOICE!! YOU'RE STILL THERE!!! HELLO CLONED PEOPLE!! Please cross post! I
can't see you otherwise. I miss you.
*waaaaaahhhh* *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh*
- r :(
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> Please write. I'm sitting here in free.adjective-army and there are a few
> worrying natives lurking here. They may kill me.
dont worry russ - ive been deported too, as you know and I will look after you - they've been trying to kick me outta here for
ages - well no that's a lie - if at one point they wanted me gone - now that have given up trying - your safe, just stick with
me...
plus we have lots of unabandoned rampant gogging to do!
Fatman
>
> xxxEDxxx <ed_cat_98@*NoSpam*yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:971644760.9248.3...@news.demon.co.uk...
> > russell <ti...@server.net> wrote in message
> > news:8s70de$lah$3...@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...
> > > [Cross posted]
> > >
> > > So I switched on my compooper ready to lash out indescriminately at
all
> > the
> > > posters at the sheep news group in my regular bout of insults and
slutty
> > > behaviour. But when I pressed the synch. button, it all PINGED out of
> > > existence!! ALL OF IT!! NOOOOOOO.
> > >
> > > I may probably be able to access it from deja.cack, but it still
> hurts...
> > :(
> > >
> > *waaaaaahhh*
> > >
> > > Please write. I'm sitting here in free.adjective-army and there are a
> few
> > > worrying natives lurking here. They may kill me.
> >
> >
> > xxxEDxxx
>
>
>
> A VOICE!! YOU'RE STILL THERE!!! HELLO CLONED PEOPLE!! Please cross post! I
> can't see you otherwise. I miss you.
> *waaaaaahhhh* *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh*
>
> - r :(
>
Don't worry about being killed - you've had worse things happen to you. To
be on the safe side, take this 3000 lb elephant gun, but only if you promise
not to use it on Ed.
Fatman
endor...@my-deja.com
> >
> > A VOICE!! YOU'RE STILL THERE!!! HELLO CLONED PEOPLE!! Please cross
post! I
> > can't see you otherwise. I miss you.
> > *waaaaaahhhh* *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh*
> >
> > - r :(
<snip>
awwwwww my poor ickle russ (wiv 7 big asses) i was wandering why u
hadnt viseted......... Dont use deja i have too and its sucks its
crappy and even jim can bring me more pleasure than deja can.
But?????????
Do u want to see us?????
yes?
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
endor...@my-deja.com
>
> So I switched on my compooper ready to lash out indescriminately at
all the
> posters at the sheep news group in my regular bout of insults and
slutty
> behaviour. But when I pressed the synch. button, it all PINGED out of
> existence!! ALL OF IT!! NOOOOOOO.
>
> I may probably be able to access it from deja.cack, but it still
hurts... :(
>
> Someone stole my ng and ... *sob*... I thought I'd lost you all
*waaaaaahhh*
>
> Please write. I'm sitting here in free.adjective-army and there are a
few
> worrying natives lurking here. They may kill me.
>
> - rrrrrrrrr
>
<snip>
RUSSSSSSSS!!!!!! 8) i missed u! u went away neva to appear again
until i found a little crosspost in a bottle floating in tha sea, an it
was u!!! How u doin me deer? av u missed me??????
russell
Fatman <fat...@dreamtrack.zzn.com> wrote in message
news:tnGG5.3411$6N2.1...@monolith.news.easynet.net...(snipped)
> > > > Someone stole my ng and ... *sob*... I thought I'd lost you all
> > > *waaaaaahhh*
> > > >
> > > > Please write. I'm sitting here in free.adjective-army and there are
a
> > few worrying natives lurking here. They may kill me.
> > >
> > >
> > > xxxEDxxx
> >
> > A VOICE!! YOU'RE STILL THERE!!! HELLO CLONED PEOPLE!! Please cross post!
I
> > can't see you otherwise. I miss you.
> > *waaaaaahhhh* *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh*
> >
> > - r :(
> >
>
> Don't worry about being killed - you've had worse things happen to you. To
> be on the safe side, take this 3000 lb elephant gun, but only if you
promise
> not to use it on Ed.
>
> Fatman
Fatman, a friendly native. Hello. No killing of me, please. Will kiss ass
for food. Homeless. Need shelter.
I've been in Cloned sheep for nearly 2 years, on and off. Now I am a
fugitive! I'm being treated as if I killed my wife. But I didn't. She's
right here with me- Ulp!! I mean.... I am not a one armed man!! I am a human
bean!! A girl! A FEMALE WOMAN!!!
I'm so distraught I haven't played Midtown Madness or Driver for ages!!
- rrrr
russell
<endor...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:8sfe9i$p81$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
> <snip>
> > > A VOICE!! YOU'RE STILL THERE!!! HELLO CLONED PEOPLE!! Please cross
> post! I
> > > can't see you otherwise. I miss you.
> > > *waaaaaahhhh* *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh*
> > >
> > > - r :(
>
> awwwwww my poor ickle russ (wiv 7 big asses) i was wandering why u
> hadnt viseted......... Dont use deja i have too and its sucks its
> crappy and even jim can bring me more pleasure than deja can.
> But?????????
> Do u want to see us?????
> yes?
YES YES YES YES!!!
PLEASE, you MUST cross post your compost posts!!!
I missed you sooooo much. You Jim, Ed, him, bim and SLim. I didn't know what
I had until I lost it. But, hey, that's virginity for you. I'm still so
stunned I don't know how to begin complaining to. i don't even know how the
newgroup thing really works. I just post shite and people type back!!
I can't lose touch with you all yet. You'll need to know my name and stuff
before that happens. But not yet...
russell
The Jim Jimmery Carr <JimJi...@020.co.uk> wrote in message
news:39EB12A3...@020.co.uk...
> > Someone stole my ng and ... *sob*... I thought I'd lost you all
*waaaaaahhh*
> >
> > Please write. I'm sitting here in free.adjective-army and there are a
few
> > worrying natives lurking here. They may kill me.
>
you - they've been trying to kick me outta here for
> ages - well no that's a lie - if at one point they wanted me gone - now
that have given up trying - your safe, just stick with
> me...
>
>
> plus we have lots of unabandoned rampant gogging to do!
WHAT THE FECK IS GOGGING??!! Is this some secret language that has sprung up
since i was ousted from my homegroup?! WHAT??! EH??! You know, you can all
be talking behind my back in cloned-sheep (well, apart from you Jimmo) it
makes me feel paranoid.
- rrrrrrrrr
russell
<endor...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:8sfejb$pko$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
> <snip>
> >
> > So I switched on my compooper ready to lash out indescriminately at
> all the
> > posters at the sheep news group in my regular bout of insults and
> slutty
> > behaviour. But when I pressed the synch. button, it all PINGED out of
> > existence!! ALL OF IT!! NOOOOOOO.
> >
> > I may probably be able to access it from deja.cack, but it still
> hurts... :(
> >
> *waaaaaahhh*
> >
> > Please write. I'm sitting here in free.adjective-army and there are a
> few worrying natives lurking here. They may kill me.
> >
>
> <snip>
> RUSSSSSSSS!!!!!! 8) i missed u! u went away neva to appear again
> until i found a little crosspost in a bottle floating in tha sea, an it
> was u!!! How u doin me deer? av u missed me??????
You know, in the past I'd come in from some horrible train ride or shite
meeting and I'd glance at the new messages then switch the compooper off
until I was rested and back to my usual level of stupidity. Then I'd reply
to everything I could get my hands on. This time, I was ready and there was
nothing!! It was like making yourself pretty in the bathroom while some
gorgeous sex-bucket waits for you in the bedroom, then when you come into
the bedroom, you find they've buggered off and left a pile of poo on the
duvet.
YOU POO'D ON MY DUVET!! You boys are my sex-buckets (for want of a better
term). No POO-ing!!! Must I put you all on a leash??!!
- rrrrrrrr
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> since i was ousted from my homegroup?! WHAT??! EH??!
Do you want me to tell you what gogging is, do you want me to show you what gogging is, or do you really want to know what
gogging is... ???
> You know, you can all
> be talking behind my back in cloned-sheep (well, apart from you Jimmo) it
> makes me feel paranoid.
i know exactly how you feel....
sometimes, when im down, - i feel as if somebody could press a button on me and take an instant image of what's in front...
sometimes it takes a while for the picture to clear - but i do feel ok in the end...
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> term).
Being anatomically correct - shouldn't you be the sex-bucket.... as wide as one and useful for many things?
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> before that happens. But not yet...
sounds intriguing babe...
russell
> > WHAT THE FECK IS GOGGING??!! Is this some secret language that has
sprung up
> > since i was ousted from my homegroup?! WHAT??! EH??!
>
what gogging is, or do you really want to know what
> gogging is... ???
I think you'd better just tell me
> sometimes, when im down, - i feel as if somebody could press a button on
me and take an instant image of what's in front...
> sometimes it takes a while for the picture to clear - but i do feel ok in
the end...
You feel down? Go with it, just don't let it rule you. I'm with you :)
I think right now "down" is better than "scared". I'm a veteran hospital
dodger finally down for a knee op. They're going to put me to sleep and open
my knee. I'm finding it hard going from independent to Dependent. I wish my
close friends and family didn't live so far away :(
Giving you an imaginary hug, Jim.
- rrr :)
russell
> > You boys are my sex-buckets (for want of a better
> > term).
>
as one and useful for many things?
Damnit, Jim. You think too much!! I think you need a lobotomy... Where's me
baseball bat?
- rrrrrrrrr
russell
> > I can't lose touch with you all yet. You'll need to know my name and
stuff
> > before that happens. But not yet...
>
Oh, it's not. I'm not going to reveal that I'm Caterine Zeta Jones or Tina
Turner. Just doing the normal, human courtesy thing, really :)
- rrrrrrr
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> Oh, it's not. I'm not going to reveal that I'm Caterine Zeta Jones or Tina
> Turner
that is a relief.... one is annoying and decrepit and the other is welsh.... ok CZJ is gorgeous but what the hell is she doing
pretending she's american (i believe we have been here before)....
> . Just doing the normal, human courtesy thing, really :)
oh - what like introducing yourself.... well you *owe* me a personal introduction....
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> what gogging is, or do you really want to know what
> > gogging is... ???
>
> I think you'd better just tell me
for your obviousness demonstrated below im going to torture you a bit more with my sweet sweet gogging....
> > sometimes, when im down, - i feel as if somebody could press a button on
> me and take an instant image of what's in front...
> > sometimes it takes a while for the picture to clear - but i do feel ok in
> the end...
>
> You feel down? Go with it, just don't let it rule you. I'm with you :)
> I think right now "down" is better than "scared". I'm a veteran hospital
> dodger finally down for a knee op. They're going to put me to sleep and open
> my knee. I'm finding it hard going from independent to Dependent. I wish my
> close friends and family didn't live so far away :(
im always going to be here russ.... hopefully - as long as i dont get the sack... do you have any family / friends over in
shropshire way ;) - dont worry about being dependant - we are all dependant in one way or another on something or other - what
makes you independent is the choices you make outside of your dependencies.... i dont like hospitals though russ - you have my
sympathies....
> Giving you an imaginary hug, Jim.
awwwww - you sweet little thing you... shame you cant get the joke though innit :) try reading what i said again - you said you
were feeling paranoid, im describing feeling a little polaroid too....
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> > > term).
> >
> as one and useful for many things?
>
> Damnit, Jim. You think too much!! I think you need a lobotomy... Where's me
> baseball bat?
I think too much - wow - ive never been accused of that before (expect perhaps from my gf - but that doesn't count - she accuses
me of *everything*)
i would probably be happier without a brain... bring it on baby - and we can have sweet sweet gogging all the time....
russell
No, that's a haemorroid.
DAMN MY EYES!! THE JOKE HAD TO BE EXPLAINED!!
AARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!
- rrrrrrrrrrr
russell
> > > > You boys are my sex-buckets (for want of a better
> > > > term).
> > >
wide
> > as one and useful for many things?
> >
> > Damnit, Jim. You think too much!! I think you need a lobotomy... Where's
me
> > baseball bat?
>
> I think too much - wow - ive never been accused of that before (expect
perhaps from my gf - but that doesn't count - she accuses
> me of *everything*)
>
> i would probably be happier without a brain... bring it on baby - and we
can have sweet sweet gogging all the time....
Fuukin gogging?!!
Which reminds me, can I swear in here?
I don't do it much in real life but it's got to come out SOMEHOW!!
- rrrrrrrrr
ps. what has your woman been accusing you of?
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> DAMN MY EYES!! THE JOKE HAD TO BE EXPLAINED!!
> AARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!
i sometimes wonder about you my dear russ.....
The Jim Jimmery Carr
sweet sweet gogging....
> Which reminds me, can I swear in here?
yup..... i am the beast of this pit - i rule supreme.....
> I don't do it much in real life but it's got to come out SOMEHOW!!
you should swear more...
> ps. what has your woman been accusing you of?
everything - weren't you reading??
russell
Do I?
Why? Hmm?
And what do you mean by *personal*?
You're sick, so I'm not taking any chances.
- rrrr
russell
> > Fuukin gogging?!!
>
> sweet sweet gogging....
well, it sounds like fun, I suppose... I mean, is this a pastime for
individuals or do you need at least two people?
> you should swear more...
Chuff!! Muff!! Poof!!
Donkey.
Wee-wee
Udders!!
howzat?
> > ps. what has your woman been accusing you of?
>
> everything - weren't you reading??
Well, I want categorised details, please. Goat-chasing? Cow-tipping? eating
talcum powder?
- rrrrrr
xxxEDxxx
> > I can't lose touch with you all yet. You'll need to know my name and
stuff
> > before that happens. But not yet...
>
So she really is a bloke then?
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
xxxEDxxx
Why don't you just move over to alt.silly.little.newsgroup? And don't give
me any of that crap about it being too big. I see nobody holding a gun to
your head forcing you to read ever single message.
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
xxxEDxxx
> > WHAT THE FECK IS GOGGING??!! Is this some secret language that has
sprung up
> > since i was ousted from my homegroup?! WHAT??! EH??!
>
what gogging is, or do you really want to know what
> gogging is... ???
>
> > be talking behind my back in cloned-sheep (well, apart from you Jimmo)
it
> > makes me feel paranoid.
>
>
me and take an instant image of what's in front...
> sometimes it takes a while for the picture to clear - but i do feel ok in
the end...
I'm up and down all the time, like a rollercoater.
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
russell
> > > I can't lose touch with you all yet. You'll need to know my name and
> stuff
> > > before that happens. But not yet...
> >
>
> So she really is a bloke then?
>
Aawwww, fa fuxake!!
- rrrrrr
russell
> I'm up and down all the time, like a rollercoater.
>
Waheyyyy, over here, big boy :) *wink*
- rrrrrrrrrr
russell
(snippety doodah)
> > > Do u want to see us?????
> > > yes?
> >
> > YES YES YES YES!!!
> > PLEASE, you MUST cross post your compost posts!!!
> > I missed you sooooo much. You Jim, Ed, him, bim and SLim. I didn't know
> what
> > I had until I lost it. But, hey, that's virginity for you. I'm still so
> > stunned I don't know how to begin complaining to. i don't even know how
> the
> > newgroup thing really works. I just post shite and people type back!!
> >
> > I can't lose touch with you all yet. You'll need to know my name and
stuff
> > before that happens. But not yet...
>
> me any of that crap about it being too big. I see nobody holding a gun to
> your head forcing you to read ever single message.
>
i was tempted to come over as a last ditch thingy, just to hook up with my
homies, 's'all. (And yes I did think I'd probably get lost in the crowd) but
luckily Jim spotted me in the newly accessible afaa. There, I landed smack
dab in the middle of their fetid lair, where they batted me about with their
paws, in a bored fashion.
Since there's no sign so far of my sheep ng being opened to me again, I feel
curious about Urlap, bugger-all and silly little, my old AND recent stomping
grounds. Although it's nice lodging here with Jim "Snorer" Jimmery.
- rrrrrrrrrr
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> introduction....
>
> Do I?
yes
> Why?
because you have teased and tormented me enough... you know alot about me, whereas i dont even know your name... that is why you
owe it to me...
> Hmm?
Hmm!
> And what do you mean by *personal*?
probably the opposite to impersonal...
> You're sick, so I'm not taking any chances.
how could you think such a thing of me?
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> >
> > xxxEDxxx
>
> Aawwww, fa fuxake!!
>
send us a picture of ya boobs or be called "bloke" forever!!!!!!!
The Jim Jimmery Carr
its nice to have you lodging with me, just move over to the left a little though - my sides are beginning to ache...
(snorer? are you accusing me of snoring?)
The Jim Jimmery Carr
you remind me of when i was suffering with manic depression mate....
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> > sweet sweet gogging....
>
> well, it sounds like fun, I suppose... I mean, is this a pastime for
> individuals or do you need at least two people?
best enjoyed with two or more people...
> > you should swear more...
>
> Chuff!! Muff!! Poof!!
> Donkey.
> Wee-wee
> Udders!!
>
> howzat?
bless you.....
> > > ps. what has your woman been accusing you of?
> > everything - weren't you reading??
>
> Well, I want categorised details, please. Goat-chasing? Cow-tipping? eating
> talcum powder?
you *always* want categorized details... sheesh - a blokes work is never done.... nah - my girlfriend knows what i am like (you
just imagine going out with a person like me for 4 years and surviving intact and mostly sane...) and therefore blames me for
alot of things...
russell
> > > > ps. what has your woman been accusing you of?
> > > everything - weren't you reading??
> >
> > Well, I want categorised details, please. Goat-chasing? Cow-tipping?
eating
> > talcum powder?
>
> you *always* want categorized details... sheesh - a blokes work is never
done.... nah - my girlfriend knows what i am like (you
> just imagine going out with a person like me for 4 years and surviving
intact and mostly sane...) and therefore blames me for
> alot of things...
Global warming?
BSE?
Chernobyl?
Give me a particular detail. One eeny weeny one. Just one! I don't recall
the last time I complained about a blokes foibles. Well, not recently. I
want to get in on the action, baby!!
- rrrrrrrr
russell
> > Although it's nice lodging here with Jim "Snorer" Jimmery.
>
> its nice to have you lodging with me, just move over to the left a little
though - my sides are beginning to ache...
Why do you fidget SO MUCH?!! Have you got HERPES??
> (snorer? are you accusing me of snoring?)
No, I misspelled Snorkeller. (Oooh, sounds a bit randy!!)
- rrrrrrrrr
russell
(snup)
> because you have teased and tormented me enough... you know alot about me,
whereas i dont even know your name... that is why you
> owe it to me...
It's French.... more later....
(snap)
> > You're sick, so I'm not taking any chances.
>
> how could you think such a thing of me?
Pretty bloody easily, actually Jimbob. Ya freek!
- rrrrrrr
russell
where shall I send it?
- rrrrrrrrrr
ps. my brother has always called me "Lad". Doesn't help much, does it.
xxxEDxxx
> > I'm up and down all the time, like a rollercoater.
>
> you remind me of when i was suffering with manic depression mate....
Oh?
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
xxxEDxxx
> > > So she really is a bloke then?
> > >
> > > xxxEDxxx
> >
> > Aawwww, fa fuxake!!
>
> send us a picture of ya boobs or be called "bloke" forever!!!!!!!
Nice one Jim, gimmee five!
*slap*
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
xxxEDxxx
> i was tempted to come over as a last ditch thingy, just to hook up with my
> homies, 's'all. (And yes I did think I'd probably get lost in the crowd)
but
> luckily Jim spotted me in the newly accessible afaa. There, I landed smack
> dab in the middle of their fetid lair, where they batted me about with
their
> paws, in a bored fashion.
>
> Since there's no sign so far of my sheep ng being opened to me again, I
feel
> curious about Urlap, bugger-all and silly little, my old AND recent
stomping
Well, let me know which you decide to rule.
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
xxxEDxxx
> > I'm up and down all the time, like a rollercoater.
> >
>
> Waheyyyy, over here, big boy :) *wink*
Doggy style?
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
ms. russell
throw in a pie and it's a deal.
- rrrrrrrrr
ms. russell
That was the sound of Jim slapping you in the head.
- rrrrrrrr
ms. russell
Ah, well, I had ceded rulership of cloned-sheep to Jimbob, who then bogged
off like a tart to do something called a "job". The mantel of leadership was
heavy on my weary shoulders. All the same, it's still a sad loss. I'm like
ghoostie on a ouija (weegee) board. WooooooohooooooooW
- rrrrrrrrrrr
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> It's French.... more later....
wayhey baby.... tell me more....
> > how could you think such a thing of me?
>
> Pretty bloody easily, actually Jimbob. Ya freek!
unique thank you very much....
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
15b salop road
oswestry
shropshire
sy11 2nr
i thank you ;)
> ps. my brother has always called me "Lad". Doesn't help much, does it.
nope - not at all - bloke....
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> >
> > *slap*
> >
> > xxxEDxxx
>
> That was the sound of Jim slapping you in the head.
hahah! no.... he was slapping my arse....
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> >
> though - my sides are beginning to ache...
>
> Why do you fidget SO MUCH?!! Have you got HERPES??
scabies...
> > (snorer? are you accusing me of snoring?)
>
> No, I misspelled Snorkeller. (Oooh, sounds a bit randy!!)
hey baby - i will need a snorkel going down on you otherwise im gonna drown...
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> >
>
> Oh?
>
yes...
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> done.... nah - my girlfriend knows what i am like (you
> > just imagine going out with a person like me for 4 years and surviving
> intact and mostly sane...) and therefore blames me for
> > alot of things...
>
> Global warming?
not yet...
> BSE?
yes - she has accuse me of making all the cows mad before now....
> Chernobyl?
before my time babe... (i would say you are showing your age - but seeing as you are really a bloke it shouldn't start worrying
you for another 10 years...)
> Give me a particular detail. One eeny weeny one. Just one! I don't recall
> the last time I complained about a blokes foibles. Well, not recently. I
> want to get in on the action, baby!!
hmmmmmm let me think.... she blames me for her being lazy just because im lazy... hey its not my fault we are similar people...
anybody would think im a bad influence
Fatman
> Fatman <fat...@dreamtrack.zzn.com> wrote in message
> news:tnGG5.3411$6N2.1...@monolith.news.easynet.net...> > news:8seot8$r0$1...@news8.svr.pol.co.uk...
> (snipped)
[SNIPPED, etc]
> > >
> > Hello again Russell!
> >
> > Don't worry about being killed - you've had worse things happen to you.
To
> > be on the safe side, take this 3000 lb elephant gun, but only if you
> > promise not to use it on Ed.
>
> Fatman, a friendly native. Hello. No killing of me, please. Will kiss ass
> for food. Homeless. Need shelter.
What you need is a cardboard box, hollowed out and reinforced with strips of
twisted iron. And put a tarp over it so it doesn't get wet in the rain.
Speaking of which - found me a new monitor in a skip today, woohoo!
I need a good ass kisser - and not for my haemorroids, before you start. I
mean someone to staple their lips to other peoples' buttocks in my name.
> I've been in Cloned sheep for nearly 2 years, on and off. Now I am a
> fugitive! I'm being treated as if I killed my wife. But I didn't. She's
> right here with me- Ulp!! I mean....
You poor thing, you. Awww. Have an e-hug.
> I am not a one armed man!!
You mean a man with one arm... or one man with arms? Please clarify.
> I am a human
> bean!! A girl! A FEMALE WOMAN!!!
Hang on... where's me old medical encyclopaedia? Woman... woman...
w-o-m-a-n... ah here we are, yes... woman is a... ooooh! Hehehehehehe [Stop
that. You'll get arrested.]
> I'm so distraught I haven't played Midtown Madness or Driver for ages!!
Sounds like a Bad Thing. Ah well, enjoy the darkness of the void.
Fatman
ms. russell
> > > > Although it's nice lodging here with Jim "Snorer" Jimmery.
> > >
> > > its nice to have you lodging with me, just move over to the left a
little
> > though - my sides are beginning to ache...
> >
> > Why do you fidget SO MUCH?!! Have you got HERPES??
>
> scabies...
Rabies?
Arachnid babies?
> > > (snorer? are you accusing me of snoring?)
> >
> > No, I misspelled Snorkeller. (Oooh, sounds a bit randy!!)
>
> hey baby - i will need a snorkel going down on you otherwise im gonna
drown...
I'm flattered... I think... :o)
ms. russell
> > > send us a picture of ya boobs or be called "bloke" forever!!!!!!!
> >
> > where shall I send it?
>
> 15b salop road
YOU'RE JOKING!!! ThAT's NOT REAL!! You don't even know my name and you're
sending postal addresses??!! OMG!! YOU'RE LYING!!!!
> > ps. my brother has always called me "Lad". Doesn't help much, does it.
>
> nope - not at all - bloke....
I'm immune to your taunts. Anyway, you obviously haven't been growling "at"
your girlfriend, or you KNOW I was DEFINITELY FEMALE to give you that
advice.
- r :) (gobsmacked)
ms. russell
> > > Nice one Jim, gimmee five!
> > >
> > > *slap*
> > >
> > > xxxEDxxx
> >
> > That was the sound of Jim slapping you in the head.
>
would you like me to look the other way?...
- rrrrrrr
ms. russell
> > > owe it to me...
> >
> > It's French.... more later....
>
> wayhey baby.... tell me more....
it could be Etienne... or Gerard... or Guillaume... or Jean-Marie... or
desdemona... Quasimodo... Isabelle... ooh the possibilities...
> > Pretty bloody easily, actually Jimbob. Ya freek!
>
> unique thank you very much....
i *do* admire your ability to see the upside in all situations / to
completely delude yourself and create a solid bubble of denial.
- rrrrrrrrr
xxxEDxxx
Oh...
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
xxxEDxxx
news:8so2l0$oe0$2...@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk...
> > > > I'm up and down all the time, like a rollercoater.
> > > >
> > > > xxxEDxxx
> > >
> > > Waheyyyy, over here, big boy :) *wink*
> >
> > Doggy style?
> >
> > xxxEDxxx
>
> throw in a pie and it's a deal.
YAY!!!! :oD
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> it could be Etienne... or Gerard... or Guillaume... or Jean-Marie... or
> desdemona... Quasimodo... Isabelle... ooh the possibilities...
so tell me then....
> > unique thank you very much....
>
> i *do* admire your ability to see the upside in all situations / to
> completely delude yourself and create a solid bubble of denial.
you just wish you could do the same.... :)
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> YOU'RE JOKING!!! ThAT's NOT REAL!! You don't even know my name and you're
> sending postal addresses??!! OMG!! YOU'RE LYING!!!!
test it and find out....
> > nope - not at all - bloke....
>
> I'm immune to your taunts. Anyway, you obviously haven't been growling "at"
> your girlfriend, or you KNOW I was DEFINITELY FEMALE to give you that
> advice.
you could be relaying information passed onto you by a real female....
> - r :) (gobsmacked)
sore lip?
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> would you like me to look the other way?...
not at all - join in if you want...
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> Rabies?
> Arachnid babies?
i have actually had scabies.... they were fun....
> > > No, I misspelled Snorkeller. (Oooh, sounds a bit randy!!)
> > hey baby - i will need a snorkel going down on you otherwise im gonna
> drown...
>
> I'm flattered... I think... :o)
oh! im sorry - i didnt mean to flatten you!
The Jim Jimmery Carr
you can accommodate a pie *and* ed at the same time?
ms. russell
> > throw in a pie and it's a deal.
>
Pie and Ed
Pie and brain surgery
Pie and assassination
Pie and mash...
it's all the same to me.
- rrrrr
ms. russell
> > > wayhey baby.... tell me more....
> >
> > it could be Etienne... or Gerard... or Guillaume... or Jean-Marie... or
> > desdemona... Quasimodo... Isabelle... ooh the possibilities...
>
> so tell me then....
I could be lulubelle, Marie-belle, Beulah, Francois, Annette, Charles,
Chantelle, Tartelette aux fraises, Beouf Boggynon...
> > i *do* admire your ability to see the upside in all situations / to
> > completely delude yourself and create a solid bubble of denial.
>
> you just wish you could do the same.... :)
If I could I'd have been killed off by now.
- rrrrrrr
ms. russell
> > > scabies...
> >
> > Rabies?
> > Arachnid babies?
>
> i have actually had scabies.... they were fun....
What did you call them all?
(what the hell are scabies, anyway? Is it like scurvy?)
> > > > No, I misspelled Snorkeller. (Oooh, sounds a bit randy!!)
> > > hey baby - i will need a snorkel going down on you otherwise im gonna
> > drown...
> >
> > I'm flattered... I think... :o)
>
> oh! im sorry - i didnt mean to flatten you!
No, extra flatness will keep me warm during the winter months.
ms. russell
> > > 15b salop road
> >
> > YOU'RE JOKING!!! ThAT's NOT REAL!! You don't even know my name and
you're
> > sending postal addresses??!! OMG!! YOU'RE LYING!!!!
>
> test it and find out....
NO!! I'VE GONE ALL SHY, DESPITE THE SHOUTING!!! ARE YOU MAD? WHY ARE YOU
(pause catching breath) PUTTING YOUR INFO ON THE NET???!!!!!
> > I'm immune to your taunts. Anyway, you obviously haven't been growling
"at"
> > your girlfriend, or you KNOW I was DEFINITELY FEMALE to give you that
> > advice.
>
> you could be relaying information passed onto you by a real female....
So, I could be sending you a photo of some other chickies boobs then, by
your reckoning. If you insist I'm a man, then photographic evidence won't
matter. Even a webcam won't work. so i suppose i must give up my claims.
It's your loss, of course.
- rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrella
Chris Mears
>
>The Jim Jimmery Carr <JimJi...@020.co.uk> wrote in message
>news:39F43FCD...@020.co.uk...
>> > throw in a pie and it's a deal.
>>
>> you can accommodate a pie *and* ed at the same time?
>
>Pie and Ed
>Pie and brain surgery
>Pie and assassination
>Pie and mash...
Pie, bacon and spam
Pie, spam, spam, and egg
Spam, pie, spam and spam
Spam spam spam spam...
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> > > desdemona... Quasimodo... Isabelle... ooh the possibilities...
> >
> > so tell me then....
>
> I could be lulubelle, Marie-belle, Beulah, Francois, Annette, Charles,
> Chantelle, Tartelette aux fraises, Beouf Boggynon...
haven't we been here before?
> > > i *do* admire your ability to see the upside in all situations / to
> > > completely delude yourself and create a solid bubble of denial.
> >
> > you just wish you could do the same.... :)
>
> If I could I'd have been killed off by now.
hehehe - still trying to learn then yes?
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> >
> > test it and find out....
>
> NO!! I'VE GONE ALL SHY, DESPITE THE SHOUTING!!! ARE YOU MAD? WHY ARE YOU
> (pause catching breath) PUTTING YOUR INFO ON THE NET???!!!!!
Im mad and I dont care - all terrorists send me your mail bombs!
> > you could be relaying information passed onto you by a real female....
>
> So, I could be sending you a photo of some other chickies boobs then, by
> your reckoning.
yes but i wouldn't complain about the service you performed....
> If you insist I'm a man, then photographic evidence won't
> matter. Even a webcam won't work. so i suppose i must give up my claims.
> It's your loss, of course.
my loss? I doubt i will ever *have* anything to lose with you :)
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> What did you call them all?
> (what the hell are scabies, anyway? Is it like scurvy?)
parasites living just under the surface of your skin....
> > > I'm flattered... I think... :o)
> >
> > oh! im sorry - i didnt mean to flatten you!
>
> No, extra flatness will keep me warm during the winter months.
i thought you were flat chested enough already??
ms. russell
Chris Mears <cme...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:9uqavsknvpbl9orj9...@4ax.com...
Yes, that's what's in the pie.
It's Spam pie.
- rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
ms. russell
(schnipp!)
pause catching breath) PUTTING YOUR INFO ON THE NET???!!!!!
>
> Im mad and I dont care - all terrorists send me your mail bombs!
Is that your mum's house? Are you living at home with Mum?
> > So, I could be sending you a photo of some other chickies boobs then, by
> > your reckoning.
>
> yes but i wouldn't complain about the service you performed....
You've got double standards. I bet you're proud of the pair of them.
> > It's your loss, of course.
>
> my loss? I doubt i will ever *have* anything to lose with you :)
My friendship, your virginity..... aha! GOTCHA!!!
- rrrrrrrrrr
ms. russell
> > > > it could be Etienne... or Gerard... or Guillaume... or Jean-Marie...
or
> > > > desdemona... Quasimodo... Isabelle... ooh the possibilities...
> > >
> > > so tell me then....
> >
> > I could be lulubelle, Marie-belle, Beulah, Francois, Annette, Charles,
> > Chantelle, Tartelette aux fraises, Beouf Boggynon...
>
> haven't we been here before?
Yes, or Caterine, or Rochelle, or Madelaine, Eloise, Monique, Danielle,
Christianne, Mai, Juliette, Frederica, Jules et Jim, Au revoir les enfants,
Monsieur Hulot's holiday, Cyrano de Bergerac....
> > > > i *do* admire your ability to see the upside in all situations / to
> > > > completely delude yourself and create a solid bubble of denial.
(schnipp!!!!!!)
> hehehe - still trying to learn then yes?
No, I have gogging to keep me occupied now...
- rrrrrrrrr
ms. russell
> > > i have actually had scabies.... they were fun....
> >
> > What did you call them all?
> > (what the hell are scabies, anyway? Is it like scurvy?)
>
> parasites living just under the surface of your skin....
AH! Ex-boyfriends!! I've had scabies too, then.
> > > > I'm flattered... I think... :o)
> > >
> > > oh! im sorry - i didnt mean to flatten you!
> >
> > No, extra flatness will keep me warm during the winter months.
>
> i thought you were flat chested enough already??
No, I just have my pendulous dugs thrown over my shoulder. they give the
impression of flatness.
0 rrrrr
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> Yes, or Caterine, or Rochelle, or Madelaine, Eloise, Monique, Danielle,
> Christianne, Mai, Juliette, Frederica, Jules et Jim, Au revoir les enfants,
> Monsieur Hulot's holiday, Cyrano de Bergerac....
aye?
> > > > > i *do* admire your ability to see the upside in all situations / to
> > > > > completely delude yourself and create a solid bubble of denial.
> (schnipp!!!!!!)
> > hehehe - still trying to learn then yes?
>
> No, I have gogging to keep me occupied now...
sweet sweet gogging?
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> Is that your mum's house? Are you living at home with Mum?
feck orf!!! im living on me todd.... i can look after myself goddamn it!!
> > yes but i wouldn't complain about the service you performed....
>
> You've got double standards. I bet you're proud of the pair of them.
not as proud as i would be of a pair of yours....
> > my loss? I doubt i will ever *have* anything to lose with you :)
>
> My friendship, your virginity..... aha! GOTCHA!!!
burst your bubble - i aint no virgin... but alas, some of my talents you will never discover...
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> AH! Ex-boyfriends!! I've had scabies too, then.
LOL!!! I could feel them crawling under my skin at nite...... nice....
> > i thought you were flat chested enough already??
>
> No, I just have my pendulous dugs thrown over my shoulder. they give the
> impression of flatness.
ah...... pendulous dugs? interesting concept :)
Chris Mears
>
>Chris Mears <cme...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
>news:9uqavsknvpbl9orj9...@4ax.com...
>> "ms. russell" <ti...@server.net> wrote:
>> >The Jim Jimmery Carr <JimJi...@020.co.uk> wrote in message
>> >news:39F43FCD...@020.co.uk...
>> >> > throw in a pie and it's a deal.
>> >>
>> >> you can accommodate a pie *and* ed at the same time?
>> >
>> >Pie and Ed
>> >Pie and brain surgery
>> >Pie and assassination
>> >Pie and mash...
>>
>> Pie, bacon and spam
>> Pie, spam, spam, and egg
>> Spam, pie, spam and spam
>> Spam spam spam spam...
>
>Yes, that's what's in the pie.
>It's Spam pie.
I don't like spam!
ms. russell
No, Kang Pa chicken noodle gogging.
- rrrrrrr
ms. russell
I just like the term, don't hope for the condition, tho'
- rrrrrrrr
ms. russell
> > > Im mad and I dont care - all terrorists send me your mail bombs!
> >
> > Is that your mum's house? Are you living at home with Mum?
>
> feck orf!!! im living on me todd.... i can look after myself goddamn it!!
do you live round the corner from your mum? I bet you do.
> > > yes but i wouldn't complain about the service you performed....
> >
> > You've got double standards. I bet you're proud of the pair of them.
>
> not as proud as i would be of a pair of yours....
I could make the nation proud.
> > > my loss? I doubt i will ever *have* anything to lose with you :)
> >
> > My friendship, your virginity..... aha! GOTCHA!!!
>
> burst your bubble - i aint no virgin... but alas, some of my talents you
will never discover...
Not a virgin? PROVE IT.
- rrrrrrr
ms. russell
> > > hahah! no.... he was slapping my arse....
> >
> > would you like me to look the other way?...
>
> not at all - join in if you want...
As long as I can bring my ten-foot barge pole.
- rrrrrrrr
ms. russell
> "ms. russell" <ti...@server.net> wrote:
> >Chris Mears <cme...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> >news:9uqavsknvpbl9orj9...@4ax.com...
> >> "ms. russell" <ti...@server.net> wrote:
> >> >> > throw in a pie and it's a deal.
> >> >>
> >> >> you can accommodate a pie *and* ed at the same time?
> >> >
> >> >Pie and Ed
> >> >Pie and brain surgery
> >> >Pie and assassination
> >> >Pie and mash...
> >>
> >> Pie, bacon and spam
> >> Pie, spam, spam, and egg
> >> Spam, pie, spam and spam
> >> Spam spam spam spam...
> >
> >Yes, that's what's in the pie.
> >It's Spam pie.
>
> I don't like spam!
Well, just eat the crust, man!
- rrrrrrrrrrr
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> No, Kang Pa chicken noodle gogging.
>
ah! so you like noodles with your sushi?
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> do you live round the corner from your mum? I bet you do.
6 miles aint that far i admit - but when you dont have a car its a fair trek... mon parents live in a village outside of the
town i live in... its all very much a country bumpkin affair though...
you should see my flat though - it kicks ass!
> > not as proud as i would be of a pair of yours....
>
> I could make the nation proud.
stop that right now! you are making my mouth water...
> > burst your bubble - i aint no virgin... but alas, some of my talents you
> will never discover...
>
> Not a virgin? PROVE IT.
here is my cyber hymen:
hysnapmen
as you can see, its been snapped... but that wasn't because ive had sex, but rather a misfortune with a road cone and a concrete
mixer...
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> As long as I can bring my ten-foot barge pole.
>
only if you touch us with it :)
The Jim Jimmery Carr
>
> I just like the term, don't hope for the condition, tho'
with a pair the nation would be proud of i doubt you have much choice!
Phil Rutter
> > > not at all - join in if you want...
> >
> > As long as I can bring my ten-foot barge pole.
> >
>
> only if you touch us with it :)
>
>
OI! Jim Jimmery! I know you!
The Jim Jimmery Carr
> > >
> > > As long as I can bring my ten-foot barge pole.
> >
> > only if you touch us with it :)
>
> OI! Jim Jimmery! I know you!
hey Phil!!! good to see you!!
hows it going?
ms. russell
> >
> > As long as I can bring my ten-foot barge pole.
> >
>
> only if you touch us with it :)
The contact shall be swift, repetitive and merciless.
- rrrrrrrr
ms. russell
phil? what you wearing?
- rrrrrrr
ms. russell
> > > sweet sweet gogging?
> >
> > No, Kang Pa chicken noodle gogging.
> >
>
> ah! so you like noodles with your sushi?
If you're being euphemistic - no. Otherwise - yes.
- rrrrrrrr
ms. russell
(snippety-doodah)
>
> you should see my flat though - it kicks ass!
Describe. Mini bar? Fully wired up sound system? Sound proofing? view
through window?
> > > not as proud as i would be of a pair of yours....
> >
> > I could make the nation proud.
>
> stop that right now! you are making my mouth water...
Did I tell you my nipples taste of beer?
> > > burst your bubble - i aint no virgin... but alas, some of my talents
you
> > will never discover...
> >
> > Not a virgin? PROVE IT.
>
> here is my cyber hymen:
>
> hysnapmen
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! THAT JOKE WAS SOOO SHIT, I APPLAUDE YOU!!!
- rrrrrrrrrr
ms. russell
> > > ah...... pendulous dugs? interesting concept :)
> >
> > I just like the term, don't hope for the condition, tho'
>
> with a pair the nation would be proud of i doubt you have much choice!
Look out for me on next years Pride Of Britain awards show. I'll be the one
with the ginormous bazongas.
- rrrrrr
Phil Rutter
news:8tcj36$pj4$7...@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk...
A skimpy metal-stud-encrusted leather thong with nowt else. Why?
Phil.
Phil Rutter
Not bad I'm staying out of the other group for a bit for obvious reasons...
Phil.