Play-A-Day: Running (#112300)
Wayne Kessler
Coach: (Blowing whistle) Okay, kids, time to start running laps. We have
45 minutes, I expect 500 laps from each of you in that time. (Blows
whistle) Okay, get going!
The kids start running except for one.
Coach: What's wrong with you, squirt?
Child: You know, it's physically impossible to run 500 laps in 45 minutes.
Coach: Well, it's impossible if you don't get started.
Child: It's impossible period. Each lap consists of at least 300 yards,
multiply that times 500 and you get 15,000 yards, and I think that's about
10 miles. We'd have to be doing 4 and a half minute miles all the time to
make it.
Coach: Your point is?
Child: We're only ten.
Coach: Do you think the track stars of today said "I'm only ten" when they
were practicing for the Olympics in their youth? Do you think Olga Korbut
said "I'm only ten" when she practiced gymnastics for the Olympics?
Child: Who is Olga Korbut?
Coach: Okay, it's time for you to get running. Get going!
The child starts running. The Coach sits down and starts eating some
donuts. Then he has a cup of coffee, and a bagel, and then some pretzels
and cheezits and HoHos.
Then he has some brie cheese and some caviar, and then a big thermos of
chicken soup, and then some vienna sausages wrapped in raw bacon.
Then he has some picked pigs feet, and then he has some McDonalds Big Macs,
and then he licks the grease off of the wrappers of the Big Macs.
Child: (running by) You know, we can see you eating the whole time we're
running.
Coach: It's my lunch break.
Child: Then why are we running?
Coach: I don't have to share if you're running.
The End
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