fg2.memo

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((My comments in double parentheses - Homer))

ANOTHER LOOK AT ADMIRATION

FG - 2
No Date.

Copyright (C) Frank Gordon
Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes


Admiration is a fundamental. Recently, I took another look at it,
and examined my tolerance for admiration, affection, and attention.
Since I have difficulty handling admiration (praise, respect, acclaim,
wonderment, etc.) I checked the question: "How much admiration can you
handle?"

This gave a rapid LFBD ((Long Fall Blow Down on the E-meter,
usually meaning the TA has to be readjusted to get the needle back on
the dial)) of a division ((TA division such as a fall from TA=3.5 to
TA=2.5)) as an image came up of me standing naked above a crowd looking
up admiringly at my erection. A 13 minute session gave a total TA
((accumulated downward motion)) of 2.2.

I can relate this to an interest in pornography, with its exchanges
of admiration. Submission as admiration for the more powerful,
competent, or beautiful. Hypnotic control as extracting admiration by
devious means. Covert admiration and shy glances. And sadism as
squeezing out admiration by force. Thus I can view pornography as
attempts to free up (or perhaps exploit) blocked and inhibited
admiration lines.

I realized that I had enjoyed receiving admiration when younger,
but had withheld revealing my pleasure in it. Now, years of suppression
of my taking pleasure in being admired make me simply embarrassed by it.

I learned about this from a cat who comes to visit for a bowl of
milk and a nap. When he sees me looking at him he stretches and bathes
in the attention. What he taught me is that my "embarrassment" is
actually unacknowledged pleasure.

With such a blockage, the possibility of too much admiration
arises. As an example, in a therapy group, we were all invited to say
something nice about "Ricky," who spent most of his time tearing up
paper for the psychologist to pick up. We did so, and the next day he
was in the hospital with double pneumonia.

Another example is "Mark," whose mother was told by a psychiatrist
when he was quite young, that she should always praise him, even if it
wasn't true. Now he distrusts any admiration or positive attention as
being insincere. Since as-ising the bank requires some admiration to
dissolve it, such a critical denial acts as an impediment.

Ron felt that a psychotic (and by inference, a bank) could be cured
by being fed admiration. This should be done slowly perhaps,
considering what praise did to "Ricky." Here is an area for fundamental
research, using admiration as the particle and/or flow; (is light a
vibration or particle? - a similar question can be asked about
admiration).

Charge, itself, may be only encysted or ridged admiration.

"CDEINFR admiration?"

(("Curious about, Desired, Enforced, Inhibited, No, False, Refused
Admiration?"))

Admiration should especially enliven any 2 way communication line.
For instance, could we view the TRs as flowing glowingness vibrantly
interchanged?

Frank Gordon

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Learning across a Distance implies Learning by Being an Effect.
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