Do you love, I find myself going back an rereading this thread that I saved into a document to make sure I don't loose it

[W John Bodin III]

"Twinless but still in the mood for fun"
By The Castle.


The Castle is altogether too quiet at the moment. The Castle walls echo every footstep, which is wrong when normally any sound is absorbed by the constant murmur of community. This is going to make my excursion a little trickier, but not much.

I get out of bed, it's only 5.30am. The Castle is silent, save a faint splash as the Thingy roams the moat. I put on my standard costume, long flowing skirts and felt slippers, and carefully pull open my bedroom door into the stone corridor. There are a couple of lamps glowing along the hallway, but otherwise it is quiet and dark. Even the kitchen lights are off.

I haven't thought very hard about what I am going to do, only knowing that I will be doing it alone. I sigh a little but continue, the idea of having some fun again is too good to pass up. I slip along the corridor, past the kitchen and into the great banquet room. The fire at the end of the hall is nothing more than faint embers and the room is pitch black. I knock my thigh against a chair and wince, careful not to make a sound. I light a candle from the table and look around in the flicker. The room is empty except for the massive table, dozens of solid chairs and candelabras spaced around it. and the fireplace. Nothing interesting here.

I pick up the candle and step back into the corridor. The Great Hall. I peek around the huge door and see another empty room, only the two thrones of our Queen Beast and King Covenant. I suddenly giggle as an idea comes tome. not one of my best ideas, but a goody all the same. I run back down the corridor to the kitchen and raid the fridge, grabbing a bowl of one thing, a bottle of another. Trying to carry all these things plus the candle is tricky, but I juggle my way back to the dining room, where Queen Beasty's huge oaken chair sits at one end of the huge table and King Covenant's equally huge chair sits at the other. I make my way to the King's end of the table.

Resting the candle back in it's holder, I cheerily smear whipped cream over the seat of the massive chair and with an effort I push the chair forward so the seat is not visible. Then, very carefully, I rig a plastic bottle of liquid honey over the top of the chair, hidden in the very ornateness, and set up a thick piece of twine around the bottle so that, when our King sits down, the thread is pulled and the bottle is squeezed at a strong but constant rate onto his head.

I still have some cream left and think very briefly about spreading it over the seat of Prince Thom's smaller, but equally ornate chair. But only very briefly. There is only one royal seat that I dare mess with. I giggle behind my hand as I look once more at Covenant's chair, and scamper hurriedly back to my room where I lock the door and wait for breakfast.

Going to get a drink in the kitchen during my usual mid - sleep wake, I hear some noise in the throne room. Thinking that perhaps a SPAM was trying to leave a mark on the dais I quietly slip into the room stopping just inside and to the left side of the door to try to catch whatever it is by surprise.

Letting my eyes adjust to the darkness I glimpse Tracicle setting something over back of the the larger two of the three chairs. Seeing how she is not touching Thom's newly erected chair a plan comes to mind. I slip back to of the room and into the closet just down the hall pulling the door shut all but a crack so that I can watch for Tracicle to go by.

After about 5 more minutes I finally see her slip by and I wait for another couple of minutes to make sure that she is back in her room. Now I need to race the clock before the rest awaken. I run back into the throne room to examine Tracicles handy work and see what she wants to happen, but now the would be boring. Taking the traps of the King and Queen's chair I reset it up on Thom's chair and add one little item.

Behind the chairs are a solid color tapestry which I rig a false pocket to the front of that will hold the contents of feather pillow that gave its life for this mission. Since the light generally does not reach that high it will not be easily noticed but when Thom sits and moves the string attached to the seat cushion right behind the honey and molasses that I add for extra adhesion there will be a rain of feathers.

To bad that I could not rig up something with this short notice that would hold the feathers to him better. At least suspicision will be
very hard in coming my way for I am one of the quiet ones I do not cause trouble but I can not wait to see Tracicles and Thom's faces in the morning. Maybe I should reset my alarm to make sure I don't miss anything since it looks like it is going to be a fun day.

The morning breaks clear and dazzling over the castle. The winter storms have been pushed back and the denizens are dreaming of an early spring.

The tapestries sway lazily in the breeze as the windows are opened to air the place out for the first time in months.

The castle sings with good humor as the denizens assemble for Saturday breakfast.

Sir Thom is even in a good mood. Plans of building new tables for Vandas green house fill his mind as he enters the dining room whistling.

Now he must become Prince Hatesbane and attend to the denizens as the day officially begins. He sits in the huge chair to the left of the King and Queens chair and endeavors to scooch ( It is so a word ) the chair closer to the table.

He does not hear the string snap as the heavy legs drag on the floor but he feels the sudden heavy wetness of something being poured on his head. He tries to rise and dodge what ever the liquid is but the chair holds him trapped between the table and itself. He has no choice but to sit there trying to dodge the flow by moving first left and then right. Which serves to ensure that his entire upper body is covered with the liquid.

Now he can smell it the coy sweet smell of liquid sugar and the rich earthy aroma of maple syrup. He knows he has been had. He has no choice but to sit and accept what is happening as the mixture of sticky goo covers him.

But where did it come from? He had seen nothing out of the ordinary. when he feels that the flow has stopped he turns and cranes his neck to see just where and how the prank had been rigged.

At that exact moment the very last dribble falls and hits Prince Hatesbane in the eyes. The mix is mostly sugar so it does not burn but it is not pleasant to have in the eyes. Prince Hatesbane rubs at his eyes trying to clear them of the sticky mass.

Blinded in this way he can not see the sudden blizzard of feathers that surrounds him sticking to him and turning him into a large feathery snowman.

When his eyes are finally cleared, he stares in disbelief at his hands. It takes a moment for the truth to dawn on him. He has been covered in syrup and feathers... AGAIN!!!!!

As Prince Hatesbane sits stunned in his chair as at that exact moment Tracicle enters the large dining hall.

Y O U ! ! ! ! ! !

Prince Hatesbane roars as he stands. In his rage the weight of his new chair is nothing to move.
Tarcicle stands looking at the Prince, her eyes wide, She has clapped a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh at the big angry feathery snowman standing at Prince Hatesbanes place at table.

Rage rolls out of Prince Hatesbane and is so large and so complete it takes shape in the air. A huge dark hand flies past Tracicle and slams the huge oak entrance doors to the dinning hall shut. The key turns in the lock and then made brittle by the contact with the smokey dark shape the key snaps in two and falls to the floor shattering on the hard boards.

The room is sealed.

>Yawn<
Cov has woken up...
It is early.... probably *too* early...]
He heads down to the main feasting chamber.
Some of the castle are seated, eating, talking, all except Tracy. She is looking...somewhat... *tense?

Cov is concerned. He doesn't like to se anyone like that..

"You okay Trace?"
"Emm.. Yeah!" Trace looks shocked. Apprehensive.

"Awh Trace. Are you *sure* your okay?"

"Come on and sit in my chair, it's nice and comfy."
The rest of the castle look up. It is a great *honour* to be seated in the King or Queens throne... sometjhing no one would *DARE* refuse...

They turn their gaze towards the Tracicle... who looks somewhat hesitant...

(heeheeheehee.................)

Tracicle thinks fast, which for her is the relative processing speed of a ZX-81. She smiles at Joe and he smiles back reassuredly.

"Well?"

She smiles once more and moves slowly towards the King's chair. She pretends to be looking at the range of food on the table in front of the chair but if really looking into the carved woodwork of the chair back. Specifically, she is looking for a piece of string stretched between the back of the chair and the seat.

She frowns and moves closer to the chair.

The string is gone. She looks up; the bottle is gone too. She looks at Joe, who is patiently standing behind her, waiting for her to accept the great honour of the King's chair. She smiles once again but Joe frowns --he knows something is wrong.

"What is it, my dear?" he asks.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing...except..."

"What?" The King moves closer and looks down at his chair. He sees nothing. The chair is still pushed clumsily into the table so the cream is invisible.

"Well. Um." Tracicle ums for a while, then comes right out with it.

"I have...a boil on my bottom."

Joe looks at Tracicle narrowly and sees the obvious embarrassment on her face, Immediately he is sympathetic. He agrees that Tracicle may take a rain check on sitting down to breakfast for now, provided that she pay a visit to Sarah the chirurgeon later in the morning. She agrees, picks up a slab of bread and butter, and walks slowly out of the doors. When no one else is in sight, she starts running.

After Tracicle leaves I as well get up to leave, excusing myself from those around me. Though I am wondering to myself if a person can truthfully die of laughter I do know that if I odn't keep a close eye on Tracicle I could end up being found out somehow by her and I want to be prepared for anything that might come my way. At the very least if Thom gets to anxious to extract revenge on her I want top be around to set the record straight, but until that time I wish I had a cam-corder <g>.

Also with Elric swearing to Thom that he would find out who was at the bottom of this act, it would probably be better ot be as far form him and Srormbringer as possible, though I dont know if it can detect anything besides spam.


Nope... not gonna complain about my kitchen being used this time. Trac, you da
*man*!




/me pops popcorn, grabs a soda and takes in the show!

Tracicle, it was nice knowing you.... <G>

Dame Missy



Oh My Gosh!!! <laughing hysterically>
Missy, won't ya hand some o' that popcorn o'er to me?
Seems that our breakfast table is full... of honey & feathers..from a prank *someone* did pull!
I think I should be quiet, and sit still for awhile... I'll stay in my seat, trying to hide this huge smile!!!!!

stifling giggles
Lilith Bee

Hearing the large doors to the hall slam shut I pull on some sweats and a t-shirt and make my way out of bed to see what the commotion is about?

As I quietly open the door and slip in I whisper to Missy:

"What's all the noise?
I for once was trying to sleep in on my last full weekend off"

As I start to look around the room I see that Thom must of been in a hurry for breakfast since it looks like he was trying to lay his own eggs.

I also see Tracicle in the middle of the room narely containing her own laughter so I just lean back against the back wall and observe for awhile.

"My Prince!" I shout, attempting to stay his hand for a moment, while also trying not to laugh myself into a coronary, "Hold a moment if you please!"

Prince Hatesbane glares at me, but stays his hand.

"Remember, we are all innocent until proven guilty! I realize this is not the first time and the method of operation is the same, however that is just circumstancial evidence! Please, allow me to conduct an through investigation, and I will, so help me StormBringer, reveal the identity of this most <chuckle> foul <snort> and hen-ious<Guffaw!> sorry, deed!

Thom, almost pulsing with rage, realizes the accuracy of my words. After all, Lord Elric is not the Captain of the Guard for nothing! "OK, I will clena myself off and await the results of your investigation before claiming vengeance. However, be it known that the perpetrator will be facing quite a comeuppance!"

"Understood Prince, I shall begin immediately!" I say.

Now, to examine the chair....

<To Be Continued!>

Oh man, am i ever glad im going to be here for this one.

Zipzap
A woman in waiting.

Examing all the chairs, I notice some faint smears on the Sires. "Sire, dont take this the wrong way, but I need to see the seat of your pants."
People start chuckling as Covenant turns around, and there, smeared on his pants, is a splatter of whipped cream. I go look over the Throne again, and see marks in the dust in the ornate scrollwork <Not implying that it is dirty, just that scrollwork tends to attract dust> and see marks from small fingers and a area from where it looked like a bottle was lying.
Interesting....

I look at Thoms chair, and see that the bottle has a slight coating of dust that came from Covenants chair. There are also some fingerprints in the dust here as well, only these are larger....

I examine the tapestry, and find the hastily sewn pocket where the feathers were stashed.

"Sir Thom? I can assure you that Tracicle is innocent of this action. To you that is. Sire? I do believe that the cream on your butt came from a female prankster though...The fingerprints are too small for any of the guys here." I say.

Now to figure out who among the guys did it.

Looking at the table, I see a faint ring, where it looks like a cold glass of water or something like that was sitting a few hours ago.

Interesting....


Awakened from her diligence, Lady Zorina gazes up from her work of sewing the new crest over the Prince's likeness on the tapestry in the main hall. It has been a long evening, to be sure, and her eyes have begun to burn from hours of working with the delicate, metallic threads.

She notices that the many candles surrounding her have burned away, leaving soft, milky puddles on the glistening marble floor. A shaft of morning light through the open window has long replaced their flickering glow. She rubs her aching eyes and then stretches her legs out before her and her arms up into the soft, morning daylight. Her legs have grown numb with the weight of the tapestry upon them and Lady Zorina is suddenly seized with a nasty cramp!

*Youch!*, she screams, as the tapestry tumbles to the floor, her needles, pins and yarns all scatter to the edge of the fireplace.

Her senses now acute, she crawls about on her cramped legs, muttering oaths under her breath <whew, she thinks, now THAT is dragon breath!>and occasionaly pricking herself on the errant pins. Suddenly, she is aware of a commotion from deep within the castle

Damn! I've almost missed breakfast! is her first thought, and she quickly tosses her new work into the oaken trunk next to her chair.

Hastily, she attempts to stand on her wobbly limbs, hoping to dash in the direction of the dining room and wishing aloud that there is at least one crumb left for her to sate her hunger. Her stomach has awakened with a terrible roar, too, and must be fed!

She moves quickly, hobbling, towards the breakfast aromas.

As the voices come nearer and clearer she hears:

...and recognizes the voice of SirElric.

Lady Zorina stops her dead in her tracks!

Gazing down at her own, trembling fingers she tries to recall the night before through the haze of sleeplessness
that clouds her memory.

Think! THINK!! , she admonishes herself in a husky whisper.

As she stands there, trembling and aching, someone enters into her peripheral view....

Karen bumps into Zorina, yawning furiously.

"Watch it, stumble-bunny", she says.

"Whazzit?", I reply.

"Something happened last night. Look, Thom has been finely feathered and the King has whip cream on his trousers."

Zorina and I look at each other with wide eyes.

"Did you...", I begin.

"I don't remember! Do you?"

"Uh-uh. But if I didn't and you didn't, who could have possibly.."

<Zorina and Karen together>

Tracicle!!

"Shuush, keep it down. Elric will hear", said Zorina.

"We better go find her", I say, "if they catch her..."

Zorina nods her head knowingly.

"You lead the way" I whisper.

"To the kitchens ...quietly"

Zornia and I sneak off.


I am sitting in my room, all muscles tense as I wait for King Covenant to dash in roaring and covered in honey and whipped cream. So when a soft knock sounds on the door, I jump and utter a small scream. In embarrassment at my jumpiness, I get up and open the door. It's Zorina and Karen, both looking half-asleep but very excited. I assume they know what has happened and hesitate to let them in. Then I change my mind and open the door ushering them over by the fire in the corner.

Karen, excited, immediately asks, "Did you --"

"Yeah," I say, thinking of the look on Joe's face as it should be about now and shivering in amusement and fear.

Zorina says nothing, yawns, and rubs her legs absentmindedly, then says, "Oh boy, Thom looked so funny. We were so worried about you, Thom was so furious!"

I start, my heart suddenly hammering hard against my chest. "Thom?"

"Well of course Thom, you said you set it up." Zorina and Karen are both looking at me like I've gone temporarily insaner than normal.

"But, well, but, um..." I am thinking furiously as visions of blue skin and maple syrup flash through my head. Where is Kira when I need her? "Okay. I set up whipped cream and honey on our King's chair at the table. How come Thom was covered instead?"

Karen and Zorina understand immediately and explain about how Thom sat down in his own chair and was showered with syrup and then feathers. I gape at them throughout their story and then realise. Somebody set me up. I frown at the fire and both Zorina and Karen draw back slightly at the expression on my face.

I stand up and stalk towards the dining room, making loud footsteps in the silence. Obviously something serious is going on. No laughter emanates from the dining room and when Ireach for the handle, I discover that it is white-hot. I use my skirts to grasp it and try to open the door but it is locked. I can hear faint murmurings from inside, and occasionally I hear Joe, Thom or Elric's voice rise above the others.

Karen and Zorina have arrived behind me and we listen at the door in silence.

Suddenly Lord Elric's voice rises above all the others.

"YOU!" he roars.

We freeze.

Tracicle


After examining the ring on the table, I go into tyhe kitchen. There sits an empty glass, with a few drops of water in it. KNowing how lean Missy and Inge keep the kitchen, I know that it had to have been used during the night. I go to the cabinet and start rummaging throuogh the drawers.
Finding a pair of tongs, I pick up the glass, and take it to my office. About 20 minutes later I dome out of my office with a piece of very wide clear tape. Going to the chairs, I use the tape to lift the larger fingerprints. I sit, get out a jewelers loupe, and examine the fingerprint on tape, then pull out a card from my pocket with another fingerprint. "Ah ha!", I exclaim, "I don't know who yet, but I do know that this glass was used last night by the perpetrator of this deed. I look at Missy and Inge, and say "Dont clear the table, I am gonna print all the dishes here and try to find a match. Leave everything where it is, so I can remember who was sitting where. At this time, I would ask everyone to leave the room so I can do this without fear of the scene being contaminated." As everyone leaves, I follow them out, place some "Crime Scene" tape across the doors and go to my office for supplies. Going back into the dining hall with a large toolbox that is overfilled with various materials, I close the doors behind me.


A dark cloud seems to envelop the Prince. this cloud swirls and eddies with black thoughts. It moves with him as he strides toward the door. He takes out his key ring and uses his skeleton key to unlock thedoor.

SUDDENLY

He turns and takes three long strides toward Tracicle.

Before she can speak or scream he takes her face in her hands and after looking deeply into her eyes he kisses her hard. The kiss is reminiscent of the Kiss Michael gave to Frado in the Godfather. It is the kiss of death.

Tracicles eyes open wide " Imm Immmmno-nne " she mumbles as the kiss lingers.

Sir Thom slides his hands down the sides of Tracicles body pressing gently yet firmly against the sink on her arms with his palms. He wraps his arms around the startled woman. He gently eases her backwards and to too the side as he focuses himself on really KISSING Tracicle. He concentrates all of his passion into this one single moment. Eternity has stopped. There never was and never will be any other event in all of creation except for this kiss. This is the center and point of all things.

Prince Hatesbane pulls back and whispers in sounds that only Tracicle can hear, " I know it wasn't you, and I don't care if it was. I am just do glad you are still here. "

Prince Hatesbane stands Tracicle on her feet and kisses the back of her hand before placing her hand on the back of the nearest chair.

" Here. Hold this. " He says as he turns and whistling wlkas out of the dining hall towards his rooms.

It really is going to be a beautiful day.

Lady Zorina grabs Karen by the hand and squeezes it a little too tightly.

"Owwwww, what the...??" Karen begins in protest

Zorina throws her a withering glance and drags Karen by her now throbbing digits into the vestibule beside the kitchen.

"Karen," she begins, "did you witness that pathetic excuse of Tracicle's? And how they BOUGHT it?"

Karen only answers in a muffled cry of pain over her swollen hand. Then, regaining her composure, and her fingers from Zorina's grip, Karen shoves Zorina further back into the quiet nook with an elbow to the midsection.

"Ooof," is Zorina' s only breathless response as Karen thrusts her face closer to hers.

"Yesssssss, you ninny, " Karen hisses, " and don't grab me like that again! Geeeeeze, your hands are strong from alla that sewing!" Karen continues to massage the blood back into her bluish hand.

Lady Zorina and Karen stare at each other for a moment. Karen, the brains of this duo, decides it is time for a little more investigation into this new development of what would be known in future as the *Mysterious Boil on the Bum Defense*

"Listen, my vice-grip pal," Karen says finally, "we had better follow Tracicle and see just what she is really up to, here." Karen reaches for Zorina's hand, then thinks better of putting her tender digits into such a dangerous position again, and instead just drags the dolt by her sleeve.

They both exit and follow the cunning Tracicle out of the dining hall. Just as they round the corner, they see SirThom holding Tracicle in a rather delightful position.

Zorina is about to swoon at the sight, but Karen pinches her forearm and shushes her with a quick hand to Zorina's open mouth, as they both hide behind a large column.

They strain their ears to listen.......

Karen and Zorina stare at each other in saucer-eyed amazement!

We watch quietly as Thom walks away to get cleaned up. Tracicle is swaying on her feet and uses both hands to steady herself. She is smeared with Thom's leavings and plucks a feather gently from her mouth. Her shoulders are still shaking as she heads for the exit into the courtyard. Zorina and I follow her.

"Did you see that?" I ask Zorina as we follow Tracicle through the woods at a careful distance. "Look at her, she's still shaking!"

"I saw, I saw." she says, "I wonder if those feathers tickled..."

I roll my eyes. "The way your mind works..."

"Wait..look!", Zorina whispers excitedly. "She going into the pub".

"I don't blame her. I would need a drink after that. Let's look in that window."

Zorina and I saddled up to the window, both of us jockeying for room. We watch quietly as Tracicle sits at her normal table, drinks on mug of wonderbooze that is already waiting for her and shuffles through some papers. After a few sips, her shakes have noticeably decreased.

"Should we go in?" I ask.

"Not yet.....MOVE!"

Zornia grabs me by the scruff of the neck and hauls me around the corner. I utter a startled "Gawlp" as I fall to my knees. I started to rub my now bruised neck and am looking at Zorina with annoyance.

"Don't DO that!"

"But look", she says and points to the figure coming closer to the Pub. The shadows clear to reveal W John Bodin III walking fast. We uddle down close to the ground as he enters throughout the door. We hastily clammer back to the window and peek through. Tracicle as scrunched down and seems to be trying to blend into the woodwork. W John Bodin III enters the storeroom. Tracicle gets up and cranes her neck, trying to see what he is up too. The light in the storeroom goes out and Tracicle quickly and nimbly dashes under a able. Zorina and I duck our heads and watch W John Bodin III disappear back into the forest.

I look at Zorina for an explanation.

"Well, there's wonder booze in there.." she begins but is interrupted by Tracicle storming out the door of the pub.

"There she goes!", I say excitedly "grab her and make her tell us what she saw!"

"How am I supposed to do that?" says Zorina.

"I don't know", I smile wickedly, "try shaking her hand".

Zorina shoves me away and I try to shove her back but she is already gone, jetting after Tracicle. I am still giggling as I catch up to them on the path, Zorina holding both of Tracicle hands in her own.

*Hey, Trace* I say, smiling, *what in the world is....* I begin, but at that moment, we are smacked into each other as Karen, old surefoot, crashes into us sending both me and Tracicle into a lovely, but thorny, rosebush.

Still gripping Tracicle's hands in mine, I notice a stream of oaths and curses emanating from Tracicle's lips that would make a pirate on the high seas blush....along with another delicate feather which wafts into my open mouth and causes me to sneeze, vociferously.

As each sneeze, in turn, causes me to be stabbed by yet another thorn from the poor, squashed bush, this results in an incoherent babble of:

*Ahhh---ahh--chooooooo.....YOUCH! ahh- chooooooo...YIPES! ahhh---ahhh---chooooo.....WAAAAAAAAAAH*

Tracicle is only moaning in pain, and cursing, both from the thorns and my grip <plus my weight on top of her> and her eyes are alternately slammed shut and open dazedly, and somewhat crossed.

Karen, on her hands and knees in obvious delight at the sight of us in agony, only giggles uncontrollably.

Furious, and finally free of the offending feather <oooh, nice alliteration, wot?>

I release Tracicle, extricate myself fromthe thorny bush, and leap at Karen's delicate, but quite vulnerable, throat!

Fortunately, she scoots, from her hands and knees position in a sort of fiddler crab way, out of my grasp. I land, with a kah-splotch about 3 feet short and to the right of her in a soft patch of fresh manure (left there by Lady Vanda, the night before)

*YUCK!!!!*


Tracicle is having a very hard time keeping her mind on her mission. Every now and then thoughts of Thom's kiss waft through her head and she begins smiling dreamily and thinking about puppies and kittens and flowers.

She is walking towards the.....the......she is walking somewhere, her thoughts wrapped up in a feathery smooch, when Zorina magically appears out of nowhere and takes her by the hands. Still smiling dazedly, Tracicle listens to something coming out of Zorina's mouth, when suddenly a huge shove lands her flat on her back in a rose bush, Zorina on top.

She shrieks and starts cursing loudly and angrily at Zorina, at Karen, at the rose bush, and suddenly realises that her brain has cleared and she remembers what she was going to do. And now she's losing precious time! She wriggles under Zorina but Zorina has started sneezing and yelling for some ungodly reason. Wriggling harder, she sighs with relief when Zorina jumps up and leaps at Karen, making as if to throttle her to death. I don't have time to muck around helping them out.

I turn my back on them and dash towards the kitchen, hoping that John hasn't disappeared completely. As I run the smell of fresh manure wafts after me.

My laughter is cut off as I look at Zorina, plastered face down in a pile of poop. My eyes begin to bug out of my head. Zorina slowly raises her head, revealing a face full of muck and a deadly glare.

I lose it. Completely.

I begin to laugh so hard, the sound is too forceful to issue through my throat. I am rasping and crawling along the path, tears running down my face. My hands are fists pounding in the dirt.

"Sh...shit..it....eating....gr..gr..grin....."

With a roar to scatter the birds from the trees, Zorina is up like a flash and shoulder tackles me to the ground. I bang my chin and realize what I have just done. I begin to beg for mercy, pleading, for just a minute, can we talk....

"No", Zorina says grimly, "the time for talk is over". I am face down and she plants her knees on the back of my shoulders. With her strong hands, she parts my hair down the middle and takes one hank in her hands. She separates it into three strands with her strong fingers. Then she begins to braid.

And braid.

And braid.

When she is done, she steps back and looks at her handiwork. I am sitting on the path, dejected and sorry-looking, the two manure covered braids almost rising straight up from the top of my head, the hair so tight it looks woven. On the ends, there are two yellow ribbons tied inperfect bows. She folds her arms and taps her foot, waiting....

I look at her. "Zorina, Mistress....I am sorry". I smile sheepishly. She sighs and hauls me up.

"Forgiven...this time", she mutters. I scream and grab her in a hug, getting soiled in the process. "All right, all right...we've made enoughof a scene today. Tracicle, sorry for.....Where did she go?"


"She went back to the Castle!", I cry, "Come on, ComeonComeon...."

"We stink! The only place I going to to the baths..."

"Zorina", I wheedle "it's almost over. Just a little longer...." I clasp my hands, bat my eyes and grin like a puppy.

"Well...."

"Hurrah!" I grab her hand and we set off to the Castle, to find Tracicle and to be the first to see the mystery revealed.

I did not know that you were related to the three stooges <eg>.

Hearing a loud crash behind me I decide that it might be prudent to get off the path and try to see who is behind me. Climbing up into the branches of a tree just off the path I get up in the lower branches but high enough so that the leaves hide me pretty well.

After a few minuts Tracicle, Zorina, and Karen wolk by on the path talking quietly to themselves. Right as they are across and under me the wind shifts and I catch this familiar smell but not one usually found around the wonderfull ladies of the castle.

At least unless they shower soon it will be easy to know where they are
<g>.


Oh. My. God.

Hey.....that's what *I* was going to say........


frowned
The BEAST



Hmmm...
Thta bol must REALLY be hurting...

Come on m'dear...
Cov's here!!

Get it out !!!


I freeze. Completely.

"Er...."

"Oh, come on m'dear. We know you have a boil, you may as well let me dealto it here and now."

Joe's Scots brogue does it again and I all but drop my skirts there and then. Then I remember that I don't actually _have_ a boil. I take hold of myself and face Joe, ignoring that voice as much as is physically possible.

"Well Sire, it seems to be better now."

"Better? But not half a day ago you..."

I interrupt, eager to be on my way to Elric's offices, where he is waiting for me to tell him the full story. "Well, now it's okay. You don't have to worry."

Feeling awful for being so rude, I acquiesce a little and curtsey deeply before the King.

"Perhaps you would care to accompany me on a visit to our Lord Elric's offices? There I can enlighten you some more on my uncomfortable situation."

Covenant nods, frowning slightly in puzzlement. He lifts my hand and I rise from my curtsey, and together we approach Elric's room.



And All the while Cov thinks....


DAMN DAMN DAMN !!!!!!!!


ROLF CMLO

Damn she is heading to Elric's office with the king. I wonder if she is going to tell the full story about who the setup was actually for, at least how it was when she left the hall that night.

I know that I could make my way close enough to the office to listen in if it was not for Stormbringer. I wonder if there is anyone that I can trust to help me try to keep my skin the way it is and get me the informtaion that I need.

Maybe if I was able to get to the Jester he always likes a good joke. Gerry, Oh Gerry there is something that I want to talk to you about.

>

KERPLUNK.....lady V.falls into the petunia patch in a dead swoon



Not the turn of events that I forsaw happening. After the way that Thom looked a minute ago I do not think that Tracicle would have saw Thom do that if she was the one that perpetrated this scheme.

The only wrinkle in the plan that I did not take into account is Elric. I wonder just how long it will be until he can get some lead that can lead to me. Does he have anything before this that can lead to me. Even with the print samples that he lifted I don't know that he has anything with my prints. I never made it to the table so there should not be many there, but the pub I do know that my prints are all over the place there and probably in his office. I don't think that he would dare do a room to room search here, but I need to get to the pub quickly and be back before I might be missed.



<snarf> I am *s-o-o-o-* glad I don't eat breakfast!

BTW Thom, you know, this happens so often that I'm starting to wonder if maybe there's something you're not telling us about <ahem> your preferences (see, that was a *nice* word) *BEG*

Kendra
*who is safely in her room reading*


Epilogue


Nope I didn't make the table....

As Sir John seats him self and prepares to have a slice of his Birthday cake the arms of the chair suddenly rotate inwards trapping Sir John in the chair. With a loud click, a whirr, and a slight wooshing sound a pair of straps come out of the top of the chair andsnap down over Sir Johns shoulders securing him even more securely to the chair.

With a bang and a clack and the ratcheting sound that a roller coaster makes as it goes up the first hill, a section of floor that the chair is sitting on flips up slowly with the chair stuck to the end looking very much like the arm of a catapult.

Up and up and up goes the chair and Sir John until the section of the floor is parallel with the wall and Sir John and the chair are balanced on the top. Then after a moment of hesitation the floor continues to flip over. As Sir John struggles to escape, the chair descends towards the center of the table. Realizing what is in the center of the table Sir John quickly looks up just in time to have his face pressed firmly into his birthday cake.

After a moment the floor rotates back to its original position.

Sir John is still secured to the chair but his face is obscured under a layer of cake and frosting. As he blinks and attempts to wiggle his nose to dislodge the icing that clings there Sir Tinker walks over to him and scrapes a finger full of frosting off of Sir Johns forehead.

Popping the frosting into his mouth Sir Tinker said, " Oh good cake. Missy out did her self on this one John. " After scraping the icing off of Sir Johns eyelids Sir tinker continues.

" I didn't make the table.... I made the chair and the new floor. " Sir Tinker takes another finger full of icing off of Sir Johns cheek.

" They were right.... The people who wrote Star Trek. They were absolutely right...."

Sir Tinker shoves his icing coated finger into his mouth and enjoys the sweet flavor.

" Happy Birthday John. "

Sir Tinker stuffs his hands in his pockets and whistling tunelessly saunters toward the door where he pauses for just a moment to say,

" The Star Trek thing?...... Revenge really is a dish best served cold."

As Sir Tinker leaves the room he flips the lights on. After a moment Sir John is aware of a warm wet feeling spreading on the top of his head. Before he can think not to he looks up just in time to see the wad of feathers descending towards his now syrup covered cake iceinged face.

In the Main Room Sir Tinker stops whistleing as Sir Johns roar of frustration storms out of the main dining room. After the pause Sir Tinker again begins to whistle. He whistles a tune that anyone who has ever seen the Harlem Globetrotters would recognize instantly.

Thom

[Ashen Shugar]

And thusly dids't W John Bodin III <wjbo...@gmail.com> speak, to
which I responded as so...

>"Twinless but still in the mood for fun"
>By The Castle.

It's enjoyable reliving the past like this. : )

Ashen Shugar
--
The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule!

[Joe Covenant Lamb]

Those who forget the past...
umm... something or other!

Covenant
A Man With Many Years Under His Belt.....



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