The Existential Flame War. :-) :-) :-)

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Elana Who?

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Oct 24, 2001, 4:01:21 PM10/24/01
to
(The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)

******

Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
fact.

<NEXT!> 8-)

-E.

Michael Holmes

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Oct 24, 2001, 4:58:42 PM10/24/01
to
Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:
: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)

: ******

Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.

(he, he! Next!)


--

"I wonder who it was defined man as a rational animal. It was
the most premature definition ever given."
-Lord Henry, in Oscar Wilde's _The Picture of Dorian Gray_

Gary

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Oct 24, 2001, 5:07:24 PM10/24/01
to
Michael Whom rit:

>Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:
>: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
>
>: ******
>
>: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
>: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
>: least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
>: fact.
>
>Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
>original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
>one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.

Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns and a
too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical jibe about
addition.

NEXT!

Gary
"Old submariners never die as long as they can still get the scope up."

"This communicating of a man's self to his friend works two contrary effects,
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half." - Francis Bacon, Essays

Lynn Allen

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Oct 24, 2001, 6:02:33 PM10/24/01
to
Gary <pjc...@aol.come.to.bed> wrote:

> Michael Whom rit:
>
> >Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote: : (The conceptual/existential
> >flame war now begins. ;)
> >
> >: ******
> >
> >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at least
> >: one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as fact.
> >
> >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions original
> >poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least one logical
> >inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
>
> Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns and
> a too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical
> jibe about addition.
>
> NEXT!

Squalid and profane insult of all three previous posters' intelligence,
logical facilities, wit and ancestry, ending with an oddly inappropriate
invitation for all of them to indulge in self-pleasuring. Graphic
uppercase insistence that this issue does not belong on this particular
newsgroup. Crossposted to alt.performance.art and alt.fozzybear.

NEXT!

Lymaree

Bill Gawne

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Oct 24, 2001, 6:20:42 PM10/24/01
to

Quirky twisted reply, including references to cats, Iron Chef, and natto,
which spawns entire subthread about food, lasting long after the flame
war ends.

NEXT!

--
Bill Gawne, in Callahan's as in real life. <ga...@pha.jhu.edu> |
Astronomer at Large - Retired Master Sergeant USMCR - Nothing I
post represents an official position of any organization.
On the web: http://www.pha.jhu.edu/~gawne

Trinker

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Oct 24, 2001, 6:31:49 PM10/24/01
to

200 line post by heretofore unknown poster at freemail address,
containing lengthy quotes of apparently random drivel from persons
unknown to anyone but the deranged poster. Evidently triggered by
keyword search relating to the poster's obsession.

NEXT!


--Trinker

Hoagy

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Oct 24, 2001, 6:29:59 PM10/24/01
to
>Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:
>: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
>
>: ******
>
>: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
>: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
>: least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
>: fact.
>
>Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
>original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
>one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad >infinitum.
>
>Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating >four puns and
a
>too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a >mathematical jibe
about
>addition.

A non-objective exclamation that the first, second, AND third posters are
wrong as rainwater in the living room, a snide, self-inflating comment on
how this poster and their opinion is superior, plus a not-so-vague obscene
reference to all three poster's familial upbringings

Next!

Hoagy


--
"It's like I've always said: You can get more with a kind word and a
two-by-four than you can with just a kind word."
-Marcus Cole


Kevin Ahearn

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Oct 24, 2001, 6:29:47 PM10/24/01
to

Accusation that Patron A, whose writing style differs quite a bit from that of
Patron B, is actually Patron B's sock puppet. This accusation occurs despite
the fact that Patrons A and B agree occasionally at best, and even then only by
accident.

NEXT!

--Kevin
The newest version of the universe is running around with arms akimbo, foaming
the mouth, completely out of its mind.

--Joel Achenbach

Remove shooting star to reply. Unsolicited commercial e-mails will be shat
upon and reported to your ISP.

Abner Mintz

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Oct 24, 2001, 6:44:04 PM10/24/01
to
Michael Holmes <mj...@bu.edu> wrote:
> Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
> original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
> one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.

"Attempt to pour oil on the fire, disguised as attempt to
pour oil on troubled waters - subtly misrepresenting each
side's position while making it look like the misrepresenting
was done by first and second posters."

Trinker

unread,
Oct 24, 2001, 6:58:51 PM10/24/01
to

Ad hominem attack on various posters, based on past flame wars.


--Trinker
finding this the most amusing alt.callahans thread in ages.

Donna Leaf

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Oct 24, 2001, 7:39:26 PM10/24/01
to
On Wed, 24 Oct 2001 15:58:51 -0700, Trinker <trinke...@yahoo.com>
wrote:

Visit from the dishelved figure in the Nomex (tm) suit and
Plexiglas (tm) riot shield, which, without responding directly to any
of the previous posters, manages to invoke the Rodney King doctrine
(i.e., "Can't we all just get along?")

MM (thoroughly enjoying this thread, without the use of 'protection')

Warren Senders

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Oct 24, 2001, 9:19:44 PM10/24/01
to
>>> >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
>>> >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at least
>>> >: one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as fact.
>>> >
>>> >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions original
>>> >poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least one logical
>>> >inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
>>>
>>> Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns and
>>> a too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical
>>> jibe about addition.
>>>
>>> NEXT!
>>
>>Squalid and profane insult of all three previous posters' intelligence,
>>logical facilities, wit and ancestry, ending with an oddly inappropriate
>>invitation for all of them to indulge in self-pleasuring. Graphic
>>uppercase insistence that this issue does not belong on this particular
>>newsgroup. Crossposted to alt.performance.art and alt.fozzybear.
>>
>>NEXT!
>>
>
>Accusation that Patron A, whose writing style differs quite a bit from that
>of
>Patron B, is actually Patron B's sock puppet. This accusation occurs despite
>the fact that Patrons A and B agree occasionally at best, and even then
>only by
>accident.
>
>NEXT!

Sententious, ponderous, polysyllabically verbose reinterpretation of
original poster's intent, based on wholly spurious premise that
original poster's wording included archaic British nominative
singular vernacular usage rather than homonymous modern
American idiom with entirely opposite connotation -- the whole
indicating utter inability to recognize either flames or trolls,
and taking up, in a single extravagantly extended sentence,
ang an
unsuccessful attempt to ambiguate the original offensive
statement and its responses while establishing the current
poster as the only possible authority on any subject.

NEXT!!

Warren

Erick Vermillion-Salsbury

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Oct 24, 2001, 9:48:15 PM10/24/01
to
(top-posted and CC'd to several diametrically opposed groups, then
e-mailed to the original poster despite requests to the contrary)

Concise rebuttal of a point not found in the original post, followed by
a detailed discussion of the ancestry and personal hygiene of the author
...that last being completely invalidated by a mistaken assumption about
the author's gender [1].

Next!

--
Erick Vermillion-Salsbury, graphic artist
http://www.concentric.net/~erick/

[1] Misuse of the term "gender" where "sex" would be more accurate done
intentionally as a troll for pedants, as is the use of a numerical
footnote with less than two footnotes.

Gary

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Oct 24, 2001, 10:12:27 PM10/24/01
to
Extensive quotation of all previous posts, from all branches, including any and
all attempts at amelioation, in order to add one-line-concurrence. Note the
return address sans munging.

Netdancer

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Oct 24, 2001, 10:26:04 PM10/24/01
to
pjc...@aol.come.to.bed (Gary) wrote in
news:20011024221227...@mb-ft.aol.com:

> Extensive quotation of all previous posts, from all branches, including
> any and all attempts at amelioation, in order to add
> one-line-concurrence. Note the return address sans munging.
> Gary
> "Old submariners never die as long as they can still get the scope up."

Two-page flame, extremely insulting and cutting, about 'me too' posters.
Includes every previous post in thread, just in case anyonem missed anything.
Wanders off into discussion of the "September Effect" and the horrid and
demonic nature of AOL.

NEXT!

Sam Robinson

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Oct 24, 2001, 10:44:11 PM10/24/01
to

>>>>"Bill Gawne" <ga...@pha.jhu.edu> wrote in message
news:3BD73EBA...@pha.jhu.edu...

Munged attributions completely obfuscating who said what, with a an oddly
styled quotation structure, which attempts to melt the opposing viewpoints
into a gender/sexual orientation/cultural observation of no possible
relevance, with wordwrapping problems.


Benton

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Oct 24, 2001, 10:42:32 PM10/24/01
to

Warren Senders <war...@aol.comqwerty> wrote in message
news:20011024211944...@mb-mf.aol.com...

Suggestive product post detailing the benefits of penile enhancement,
cross-posted to numerous similarly non-interested newsgroups, containing
several capped typographical errors indicative of the "quality" of their
product, no less than 5 dozen exclamation points, enough material for an
official "slew" of pundays, and physical improbabilities leaving both the
patrons and, evidentally, the first individual to try their product, in
stitches (albeit of a different sort).

NEXT

-Benton


Darkhawk (H. Nicoll)

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Oct 24, 2001, 10:48:59 PM10/24/01
to
Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:

Excessively pedantic refutation of the incorrect historical notion
presented in utterly tedious prose, complete with multiple URL
references to resources and multi-paragraph quotations from text
references not available on the net, concluding with a clipped but
arguably polite suggestion that the original poster research the subject
properly before daring to venture an opinion.


NEXT!


--
Heather Anne Nicoll - Darkhawk - http://aelfhame.net/~darkhawk/
Just a world that we all must share, it's not enough just to stand and
stare: Is it only a dream that there'll be no more turning away?
--Pink Floyd, "On the Turning Away"

jhetley

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Oct 24, 2001, 10:50:47 PM10/24/01
to


"Netdancer" <Netda...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9144D8ADE7100ne...@198.99.146.10...

Totally tangential attack by latecomer who has missed major layers of the
thread due to ISP newsreader glitch. Accusations of trollery, followed by
admonition to not feed the energy creature.

NEXT!

--
Jim

THE SUMMER COUNTRY, a novel of dark contemporary fantasy

Coming in 2002 from Ace Science Fiction & Fantasy


Ellen Clunie

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Oct 25, 2001, 12:14:17 AM10/25/01
to
[crossposted to additional newsgroups, and emailed to the original poster's
ISP for net abuse]

"Benton" <miwri...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9r7u7e$a31$1...@suaar1aa.prod.compuserve.com...

Extensive post from new person, attacking each of the regulars who have
added comments to the post as being exclusionary of new people and
non-welcoming. Obvious "new poster" posting style which includes references
to a Cabal [1] of regulars designed to keep newcomers from posting.

NEXT

Ellen
The Auburn Owl

[1] There Is No Cabal...


Lissa McCollum

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Oct 25, 2001, 12:37:41 AM10/25/01
to
Hoagy wrote:
>
> >Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:
> >: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
> >
> >: ******
> >
> >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
> >: least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
> >: fact.
> >
> >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
> >original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
> >one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad >infinitum.
> >
> >Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating >four puns and
> a
> >too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a >mathematical jibe
> about
> >addition.
>
> A non-objective exclamation that the first, second, AND third posters are
> wrong as rainwater in the living room, a snide, self-inflating comment on
> how this poster and their opinion is superior, plus a not-so-vague obscene
> reference to all three poster's familial upbringings
>
> Next!

Well meaning attempt to diffuse the situation by invoking the Founding
Principles of the Newsgroup. Distraction techniques consisting of
smooches,
dancing girls, camels, and a gratuitous food fight.

NEXT!

Lissa

Feather

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Oct 25, 2001, 1:08:10 AM10/25/01
to
"Hoagy" <hoa...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message news:<HhHB7.81542$WW.42...@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net>...

> >Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:
> >: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
>
> >: ******
>
> >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
> >: least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
> >: fact.
> >
> >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
> >original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
> >one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad >infinitum.
> >
> >Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating >four puns and
> a
> >too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a >mathematical jibe
> about
> >addition.
>
> A non-objective exclamation that the first, second, AND third posters are
> wrong as rainwater in the living room, a snide, self-inflating comment on
> how this poster and their opinion is superior, plus a not-so-vague obscene
> reference to all three poster's familial upbringings
>
> Next!

(oh, this is *good*... ;)

Bewildered attempt to clarify first poster's message and create some
peace... puts in a lot of fuzzy, positive detail about minority's
culture, history, faith, arts and crafts, goes on and on about their
unique style of cooking, keeps on talking...

..and manages to niavely drop in an insulting adjective normally used
to denigrate that partucular minority group in question as if never
knowing that word is the cultural insult that it is.

NEXT!!!!

-Feather

Lee S. Billings

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Oct 25, 2001, 1:40:35 AM10/25/01
to
In article <3BD79715...@qwest.net>, lis...@qwest.net says...

Indignant accusation that the last poster is Trying To Change The Subject,
followed by a complete recapitulation of all previous exchanges (complete with
misapprehensions introduced along the way). No new material included at all
after the initial outrage.

NEXT!

Celine

--
"Only the powers of evil claim that doing good is boring."
-- Diane Duane, _Nightfall at Algemron_

Duane E. Peters

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Oct 25, 2001, 2:23:46 AM10/25/01
to

"Me too" post.

Duane
(It had to be done...)

maenad

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 2:32:58 AM10/25/01
to

> NEXT!

Cranky complaint about topic drift and nobody changing the subject line.

NEXT!

maenad
--
Cry "CHEEBLE!" and let slip the hamsters of war.
-------------------> maenad <at> vex <dot> net <-------------------

Martin Julian DeMello

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 2:47:03 AM10/25/01
to
me too

The Bouncing Beatnik

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 3:02:12 AM10/25/01
to
On 25 Oct 2001 05:40:35 GMT, stard...@mindspring.com (Lee S.
Billings) wrote:

Personal message of support and long, snide, gratuitous and sexually
graphic description of every other poster in the thread. Revelation of
all manner of highly embarassing information about author and intended
recipient. Accidently posted to Usenet instead of being emailed as
intended.

NEXT!

Trinker

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 3:04:57 AM10/25/01
to

Martin Julian DeMello wrote:
>
> me too

A rant about the annoyance of top-posting, as well as about one-line
replies with no snippage of quoting. Extraneous snide commentary about
the previous poster's ISP.

--Trinker

Mr. Don Paul

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 2:58:19 AM10/25/01
to

> > > >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> > > >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
least
> > > >: one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as fact.
> > > >
> > > >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
original
> > > >poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least one logical
> > > >inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
> > >
> > > Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns
and
> > > a too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical
> > > jibe about addition.
> > >
> > > NEXT!
> >
> > Squalid and profane insult of all three previous posters' intelligence,
> > logical facilities, wit and ancestry, ending with an oddly inappropriate
> > invitation for all of them to indulge in self-pleasuring. Graphic
> > uppercase insistence that this issue does not belong on this particular
> > newsgroup. Crossposted to alt.performance.art and alt.fozzybear.
> >
> > NEXT!
>
> Quirky twisted reply, including references to cats, Iron Chef, and natto,
> which spawns entire subthread about food, lasting long after the flame
> war ends.
>
> NEXT!

Some ASSHOLE from the 3rd World takes umbrage, complains of the
Americanisation of the Internet, proceeds to expound anti-American POV and
adds recipes for Boerewors Caserole, Springbok fritters with a light
Algerian Chocolate Sauce.

Next


Mr. Don Paul

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 3:00:14 AM10/25/01
to

Have we reached the point yet where someone mentions the name "Hitler"?

Just checking

D


René A. Vega

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 3:32:18 AM10/25/01
to

"Mr. Don Paul" wrote:

> ...recipes for Boerewors Caserole, Springbok fritters with a light Algerian
> Chocolate Sauce.
>
> Next

Inappropriate out of context excerpt of original posting and a request for the
recipe sent with HTML embeddings to a text-only usenet group.

Next

Draco


Martin Julian DeMello

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 3:32:30 AM10/25/01
to

A sincere, heartfelt and dripping with pained emotion, but nonetheless
misspelt and basically incoherent rant about how some people need to get a
life and stop trying to set themselves up as net cops.

--
Martin DeMello/zem

40 line .sig here

Martin Julian DeMello

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 3:34:51 AM10/25/01
to
maenad <mae...@vex.net.invalid> wrote:

> -------------------> maenad <at> vex <dot> net <-------------------

Boilerplate rant against spamblocks, backed up with citations, statistics,
studies on ergonomics, the spammer mentality, harvesting software and the
psychology of the individual.

Pointedly posted only.

--
Martin DeMello/zem

Miche

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 3:52:19 AM10/25/01
to
In article <4a26e2da.01102...@posting.google.com>,
smallg...@excite.com (Feather) wrote:

> Bewildered attempt to clarify first poster's message and create some
> peace... puts in a lot of fuzzy, positive detail about minority's
> culture, history, faith, arts and crafts, goes on and on about their
> unique style of cooking, keeps on talking...
>
> ..and manages to niavely drop in an insulting adjective normally used
> to denigrate that partucular minority group in question as if never
> knowing that word is the cultural insult that it is.
>
>
>
> NEXT!!!!

Repost of "how many usenet posters does it take to change a lightbulb"
joke.

NEXT!

Miche

--
And you may say to yourself "Well -- how did I get here?"
-- Once in a Lifetime, Talking Heads

Patrick O'Shea

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 3:56:55 AM10/25/01
to
On 25 Oct 2001 02:26:04 GMT, Netda...@yahoo.com (Netdancer) wrote:

>pjc...@aol.come.to.bed (Gary) wrote in


>Two-page flame, extremely insulting and cutting, about 'me too' posters.
>Includes every previous post in thread, just in case anyonem missed anything.
>Wanders off into discussion of the "September Effect" and the horrid and
>demonic nature of AOL.
>
>NEXT!

Poory thought out and...'grammatically challenged' reply, with several
cuss words used in unimaginative ways. Closes with a threat to leave
the group, only good for about three days or so.

Amidst a huddled crowd, inside a beggar's lair
dwell four noble travellers, whose thoughts are fine and fair
To the crowd they speak aloud, all the four as one,
"Be not afraid to trust thy heart, and with us ye shall come"
-Johnathan Lindsey Sheehan, 'Blues Traveller: Travellers & thieves'

uk...@lightspeed.bc.ca | Please post and email replies
ICQ #54483027 | Newsserver eats posts, and still
| won't diet.....
http://www.lightspeed.bc.ca/personalpage/ukyo/Random.htm

Earl P. Jones

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 4:12:02 AM10/25/01
to
Three hundred lines of stream-of-consciousness free verse on the subject of
brotherly love.

Earl Jones

Ali ;-)

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 4:16:58 AM10/25/01
to
On Thu, 25 Oct 2001 09:00:14 +0200, "Mr. Don Paul"
<d...@oscartango.co.za> wrote:

>
>Have we reached the point yet where someone mentions the name "Hitler"?
>

It is pointed out that the thread has become Godwinized and heated
debate ensues on whether this has actually happened.

NEXT!

Ali ;-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards
of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork
involved when your house lands on a witch." - Dave James

jacko

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 4:32:08 AM10/25/01
to
Trinker <trinke...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> the previous poster's ISP and hir opinion about guncontrol.

complaining about snipping too much text, change the quote thats left.
To keep the Flame War really going adding some arguments against peoples
right to have fire-arms.

NEXT!

peter

--
Ik heb liever te maken met iemand die zegt de Waarheid te zoeken
dan met iemand die zegt 'm gevonden te hebben.

http://asl.to/jacko

Martin Julian DeMello

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 5:12:56 AM10/25/01
to
Trinker <trinke...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> Ad hominem attack on various posters, based on past flame wars.

Newbie complaint that this borders on cliquishness, followed by a
thirty-seven point numbered list of exactly how the newsgroup, as a whole,
fails to conduct itself properly, how this could be improved to everyone's
mutual benefit, and how grateful you should all be for an unbiased
newcomer's opinions on the matter.

--
Martin DeMello/zem (loving this thread - yay elena!)

Netdancer

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 6:05:39 AM10/25/01
to
Martin Julian DeMello <mdem...@vermiculated.owlnet.rice.edu> wrote in
news:9r8l2o$e8i$2...@joe.rice.edu:

> Trinker <trinke...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>>
>> Ad hominem attack on various posters, based on past flame wars.
>
> Newbie complaint that this borders on cliquishness, followed by a
> thirty-seven point numbered list of exactly how the newsgroup, as a whole,
> fails to conduct itself properly, how this could be improved to everyone's
> mutual benefit, and how grateful you should all be for an unbiased
> newcomer's opinions on the matter.
>

Extremely cold and formal rebuff, including a suggestion that the previous
poster should read the charter and the Faq. Pointers to both, but they aren't
working properly about half the time. Side comments to the regulars about
Clueless Newbies, another reference back to the "September Effect".

Fifty line .sig full of quotes everyone's seen a hundred times.

Martin Julian DeMello

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 6:46:55 AM10/25/01
to
Netdancer <Netda...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> Extremely cold and formal rebuff, including a suggestion that the previous
> poster should read the charter and the Faq. Pointers to both, but they
> aren't working properly about half the time. Side comments to the regulars
> about Clueless Newbies, another reference back to the "September Effect".
>
> Fifty line .sig full of quotes everyone's seen a hundred times.

.sig gleefully pounced upon, a great deal made of the fact that a net Nazi
has violated netiquette to such an extent. Much bandying of cliches
involving pots, kettles and glass houses. Some discourse on the difference
between *real* Old-Timers and wannabes, and how it is always the latter who
jump upon newbies in a pathetic attempt to prove their In-ness.

Segue into an ostensibly gentle and civilised, but drippingly patronising
tone, explaining how one need not put down newbies in order to boost one's
ego. Frequent use of group injokes, usenet injokes and references to the
Cabal (TINC).

--
Martin DeMello/zem | All that is gold does not glitter
Ostentatiously 72x4 .sig, | -- J.R.R.Tolkien
complete with ruler | The Lord of the Rings
123456789|123456789|123456789|123456789|123456789|123456789|123456789|12

D.A.

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 9:21:54 AM10/25/01
to
"Martin Julian DeMello" <mdem...@vermiculated.owlnet.rice.edu> wrote in
message news:9r8ch7$558$7...@joe.rice.edu...

> me too

[snip fully quoted post]

A top posted, fully quoted and adding only a me to....

I will not even attempt to best this post. Martin, in my not so humble
opinion, you earned top billing as a flamer... BYNO?

--
D.A.
Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war;
Anger is one letter shorter than Danger.


Lee S. Billings

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 9:32:36 AM10/25/01
to
In article <9r8dk1$fpk$1...@ctb-nnrp1.saix.net>, d...@oscartango.co.za says...

Quote of the entire thread up to this point, followed by a snide comment to the
effect that Iron Chef and natto are hardly *American*. (It is difficult to tell
whether the poster likes or dislikes them for that reason.) Also a lengthy
exposition on the relative numbers of Americans vs. non-Americans currently
using the Net, with multiple citations of URLS all purporting to prove that Net
usage is heavily if not overwhelmingly American, and asking "What do you
expect"?

Martin Julian DeMello

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 9:39:35 AM10/25/01
to
D.A. <Tex...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> "Martin Julian DeMello" <mdem...@vermiculated.owlnet.rice.edu> wrote in
> message news:9r8ch7$558$7...@joe.rice.edu...
>
>> me too
>
> [snip fully quoted post]
>
> A top posted, fully quoted and adding only a me to....
>
> I will not even attempt to best this post. Martin, in my not so humble
> opinion, you earned top billing as a flamer... BYNO?

Thanks :) Coffee, sil vous plait.

--
Martin DeMello/zem

Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:15:09 AM10/25/01
to
> Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
> least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
> fact.

Subtle allusion to the misspelling designed to be just within acceptable
parameters and avoid moderation of message or denial of access, with a side
chiding encouraging better research.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:16:21 AM10/25/01
to
> Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
> original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
> one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.

A calling on the snotty put-down with one equally as bad, noting in a
surrealist way how the inconsistency could be seen by a smart reader.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:17:01 AM10/25/01
to
> Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns and
a
> too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical jibe
about
> addition.

Continued punning on both the original and mathematical fronts.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:18:46 AM10/25/01
to
> Squalid and profane insult of all three previous posters' intelligence,
> logical facilities, wit and ancestry, ending with an oddly inappropriate
> invitation for all of them to indulge in self-pleasuring. Graphic
> uppercase insistence that this issue does not belong on this particular
> newsgroup. Crossposted to alt.performance.art and alt.fozzybear.

A defending of the posters' right to post anywhere, any time, whenever they
feel like it; and a sarcastic thank-you for the invitation, describing in
lurid detail (and without punctuation) the journal entry which resulted.

Crossposted to alt.gothic.fashion, alt.fairs.renaissance, rec.folk-dancing,
alt.tv.star-trek.enterprise, comp.sys.palmtops.pilot and
rec.autos.makers.saturn.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:19:35 AM10/25/01
to
> Quirky twisted reply, including references to cats, Iron Chef, and natto,
> which spawns entire subthread about food, lasting long after the flame
> war ends.

Subthread continues with debased comments about the various Iron Chefs and
their extracurricular activities, slowly returning to the subject at hand,
which now includes obscene references to cucumbers.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:20:28 AM10/25/01
to
> 200 line post by heretofore unknown poster at freemail address,
> containing lengthy quotes of apparently random drivel from persons
> unknown to anyone but the deranged poster. Evidently triggered by
> keyword search relating to the poster's obsession.

A 400 line post from a net.savior documenting the complete traceroute and
header of the original spoofed post, noting home telephone numbers of
responsible ISP network security chiefs.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:21:10 AM10/25/01
to
> Munged attributions completely obfuscating who said what, with a an oddly
> styled quotation structure, which attempts to melt the opposing viewpoints
> into a gender/sexual orientation/cultural observation of no possible
> relevance, with wordwrapping problems.

All-lower-case defense of one's right to use "hir" and "sie" in proper
context, which is confusing to some as that didn't seem to be at issue until
now.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:21:43 AM10/25/01
to
> Cranky complaint about topic drift and nobody changing the subject line.

Cranky complainer told exactly what sie can do with hir complaint, in no
uncertain terms and in a language that encourages the idea of network
ratings on newsgroups.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:22:31 AM10/25/01
to
> Boilerplate rant against spamblocks, backed up with citations, statistics,
> studies on ergonomics, the spammer mentality, harvesting software and the
> psychology of the individual.

A side rant on the effectiveness of SpamCop.Net and similar services to stop
the flood of UCE, closing with a gently prodding remark about the original
thread akin to the comments in "Alice's Restaurant."


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:23:35 AM10/25/01
to
> Some ASSHOLE from the 3rd World takes umbrage, complains of the
> Americanisation of the Internet, proceeds to expound anti-American POV and
> adds recipes for Boerewors Caserole, Springbok fritters with a light
> Algerian Chocolate Sauce.

Gentle reminder of the source of the Internet, using veiled threats intended
to slip past third-world cultures with a lesser grasp of English (the
language of the Internet). Claims that the recipes were tested and tasted
disgusting.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:24:31 AM10/25/01
to
> Inappropriate out of context excerpt of original posting and a request for
the
> recipe sent with HTML embeddings to a text-only usenet group.

A slew of Osama bin Laden "knowing" a farm animal binaries which make it
only to a very few recipients thanks to server-level filters.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:25:42 AM10/25/01
to
> Quote of the entire thread up to this point, followed by a snide comment
to the
> effect that Iron Chef and natto are hardly *American*. (It is difficult to
tell
> whether the poster likes or dislikes them for that reason.) Also a lengthy
> exposition on the relative numbers of Americans vs. non-Americans
currently
> using the Net, with multiple citations of URLS all purporting to prove
that Net
> usage is heavily if not overwhelmingly American, and asking "What do you
> expect"?

Poster claiming to be from Rigel Centauri X reminds everyone that Al Gore
invented the Internet, and reveals that the source of his inspiration came
from the freedom fighters of R.C. IV in such a way that it ties into the War
on Terrorism in an eerily tight manner.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:26:20 AM10/25/01
to
> Accusation that Patron A, whose writing style differs quite a bit from
that of
> Patron B, is actually Patron B's sock puppet. This accusation occurs
despite
> the fact that Patrons A and B agree occasionally at best, and even then
only by
> accident.

Bandwagon-jumper begins to correlate times and IP addresses of postings in
an attempt to show that they're one and the same, with a great deal of time
on his collective hands.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:26:48 AM10/25/01
to
> Sententious, ponderous, polysyllabically verbose reinterpretation of
> original poster's intent, based on wholly spurious premise that
> original poster's wording included archaic British nominative
> singular vernacular usage rather than homonymous modern
> American idiom with entirely opposite connotation -- the whole
> indicating utter inability to recognize either flames or trolls,
> and taking up, in a single extravagantly extended sentence,
> ang an
> unsuccessful attempt to ambiguate the original offensive
> statement and its responses while establishing the current
> poster as the only possible authority on any subject.

One rude expletive in reply.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:27:16 AM10/25/01
to
> Suggestive product post detailing the benefits of penile enhancement,
> cross-posted to numerous similarly non-interested newsgroups, containing
> several capped typographical errors indicative of the "quality" of their
> product, no less than 5 dozen exclamation points, enough material for an
> official "slew" of pundays, and physical improbabilities leaving both the
> patrons and, evidentally, the first individual to try their product, in
> stitches (albeit of a different sort).

Comment noting receipt of two contradictory spams and the hilarity which
ensued.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:27:55 AM10/25/01
to
> Extensive post from new person, attacking each of the regulars who have
> added comments to the post as being exclusionary of new people and
> non-welcoming. Obvious "new poster" posting style which includes
references
> to a Cabal [1] of regulars designed to keep newcomers from posting.

Proof of nonexistent cabal dredged up through repeated forays into the
Google archives and quoting out of context.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:28:23 AM10/25/01
to
> me too

Complaints about a certain major ISP's lack of training for its members on
newsgroup courtesy.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:28:59 AM10/25/01
to
> A rant about the annoyance of top-posting, as well as about one-line
> replies with no snippage of quoting. Extraneous snide commentary about
> the previous poster's ISP.

A high-five to this replier for having the same idea at the same time.
Devolves into weak pickup lines and eventual sadness.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:29:36 AM10/25/01
to
> A sincere, heartfelt and dripping with pained emotion, but nonetheless
> misspelt and basically incoherent rant about how some people need to get a
> life and stop trying to set themselves up as net cops.

A detailed, footnoted report showing how net cops have saved the Internet
from atomic blast, heroin addiction and poor grammar over the years.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:30:34 AM10/25/01
to
> complaining about snipping too much text, change the quote thats left.
> To keep the Flame War really going adding some arguments against peoples
> right to have fire-arms.

Complaints that the traditional quotes of the BBS days, ">, are far more
intuitive than the mere > symbol used now. Anticipates comments about
doubling bandwidth by noting the binary structure of the ASCII symbols used
and their tendency to be compressed well.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:31:16 AM10/25/01
to
> A non-objective exclamation that the first, second, AND third posters are
> wrong as rainwater in the living room, a snide, self-inflating comment on
> how this poster and their opinion is superior, plus a not-so-vague obscene
> reference to all three poster's familial upbringings

Which is then scooped by a twist of logic to imply that the upbringing in
question was with wild animals and not polite society.


Matt Drury

unread,
Oct 25, 2001, 10:32:09 AM10/25/01