PUN: shakespeare
KertRats
>"TB OR NOT TB!!" crash....
>
>
My favorite line comes from Hamlet (which, by the way, I understand to be a
real breakfast favorite of those who
practice chanting in the morning - you know - Om and
Hamlets) - anyway, it's the line where the Dane picks up
the skull and says:
"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him." (tossing skull over
shoulder and beginning to walk off while changing
subjects. "Well, Horatio....." dialogue fades off stage...
Kertrats - who decided to just have fun tonight....
Liquor
fel...@aol.com (Felren) wrote
) >"TB OR NOT TB!!" crash....
) >
) >
The moving finger attributed to KertRats did write:
<snip>
) "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him." (tossing skull over
) shoulder and beginning to walk off while changing
) subjects. "Well, Horatio....." dialogue fades off stage...
)
88888888888888888888888888888888888888
88 8 8 8 8 8 888 8 88 8 88
8 8 8 8 8 8 8
8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8
Liquor attempt to bring down a peanut curtain on these scenes.
Being of a programming type mentality, however he notes that
in most languages and machines,
(B+B) OR NOT (B+B) = -1
To be or not to be, the answer is minus one.
In other words, Hamlet should have suicided?
------------------------------------------------------
Liquor Sanity is a highly overrated commodity.
is Quickor
Ogden N.(or something like that)
KertRats
2B or not 2B - maybe he was just trying to pick an apartment.
<:-) - Kertrats in Clown Hat
KertRats - who's had to reseach and examine his own beliefs
more since he's come to Callahans than he has in the last
10 years .... and glad of it. THANX, y'all!
KertRats
"IT wasn't the COUGH that carried him OFF,
It was the COFFIN they carried him OFFin."
- anonymous (Thankfully)
K.
John Barnstead
Liquor (Liq...@Sympatico.SpamStopper.ca) wrote:
: Liquor attempt to bring down a peanut curtain on these scenes.
: Being of a programming type mentality, however he notes that
: in most languages and machines,
: (B+B) OR NOT (B+B) = -1
: To be or not to be, the answer is minus one.
: In other words, Hamlet should have suicided?
Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat points out that Shakespeare
carefully concealed the fact that Hamlet was actually a high-energy
particle physicist, or what passed for one in those more leisurely days of
yore. He had, in fact, set up a series of cathode ray experiments to
determine the behaviour of certain elements which pass to the `poles' in
electrolysis (which accounts, no doubt, for that phrase "sledded Polacks"
which has been bothering English Department Hamlet scholars for years...).
He labelled his five possible outcomes with the first five letters of the
alphabet, but was unable to make proper observations (although he COULD
tell a hawk from a handsaw, this is not necessarily advantageous in finer
work...). Nevertheless, he decided to make a guess, and, as luck would
have it, proved correct despite his abandonment of the scientific
method. In later years he referred to this search as a real pilgrimage of
sorts:
"Tube `E' or NOT tube `E' -- that is the quest ion"
he would say, a sentimental tear running down his cheek....
Gesi Rovario
I believe I heard kert...@aol.com (KertRats) say:
>"IT wasn't the COUGH that carried him OFF,
> It was the COFFIN they carried him OFFin."
> - anonymous (Thankfully)
>
>
>K.
8
It wasn't that bad, and you didn't write it, but you deserve something
for posting it.:)
Gesi
When the first living thing was created, I was there,
waiting. And when the last living thing shall perish,
my job will be done. I'll put the chairs on the tables,
turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me
when I leave.
-Death
Allan Beck
Liquor (Liq...@Sympatico.SpamStopper.ca) wrote:
: fel...@aol.com (Felren) wrote
: ) >"TB OR NOT TB!!" crash....
: ) >
: ) >
: The moving finger attributed to KertRats did write:
: <snip>
: ) "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him." (tossing skull over
: ) shoulder and beginning to walk off while changing
: ) subjects. "Well, Horatio....." dialogue fades off stage...
My own personal take on this was influenced by some bawdy
Shakespearean-style improv comedy, but it is my own...
"Alas, poor Yorika. I knew her well, Fellatio. She was a woman of infinite
chest..."
: Liquor attempt to bring down a peanut curtain on these scenes.
: Being of a programming type mentality, however he notes that
: in most languages and machines,
: (B+B) OR NOT (B+B) = -1
: To be or not to be, the answer is minus one.
: In other words, Hamlet should have suicided?
<snip>
Or, for anyone with experience with electronic schematics...
__________
\ \
2B-------\ \
\ \
| |________ ?
| |
__ / /
2B-------/ /
/_________/
I sure hope that the ASCII art comes through....
----------------------------------------------------------------
Chris Friesen "The opinions stated are my own and
Nortel are not related to company policy."
Ottawa, ON
"That is the top of the calibration target, that is _not_ in fact a monolith."
--NASA TV commentator, 7/5/97, discussing an image of a black
rectangle silhouetted against the Martian landscape
Felren
on 17 nov 1997 00:57 est, jvi...@cyberhighway.net(john vinson) wrote:
>"The pharmacist, who happened to be quite deaf, noticed the jar and
>turned to see a well-dressed, rather pale young man; naturally, he
>asked, 'Can I be of assistance, sir?'"
>
>"The reply came... 'Yes, please, I just wanted something to stop this
>coffin!'"
>
>
felren winces as the pun-ch line hits her like a run-away hearse, er, wagon,
and then pulls out more small change out of her pocket. something small and
white drops onto the counter as well. she stops, picks it up and hands it to
the Wysard.
"you sound sorta horse my friend, do you have a colt? perhaps this will
help. have a cough drop." she then turns to Mike and starts counting out
pennies. "i'm sorry for the trouble, i'm down to small change this week, how
about another blessing and something for the punster here..." she gestures at
the Wysard and smiles. "perhaps something to stop the coffin."
Liquor
The moving finger attributed to Pernicious via John Barnstead did
write:
)
) "Tube `E' or NOT tube `E' -- that is the quest ion"
)
) he would say, a sentimental tear running down his cheek....
"Of course, Pernicious is missing the fact that the Bard of Stratford
was a student of nature. (Human and otherwise.) Indeed he was
observant of the ways in which bees communicate and travel, and how
they all tend to find productive areas with little time wasted in the
non-productive ones.
"Discovering more requires close observation. Having noted an area to
the west of a hive that was generally avoided by the bees, he sat
there quietly, and found that only one bee came and landed on the
piece of wood that was lying there. After realizing the kind of wood
that it was, he made his observation for the day:
"To be sure, no two bees sat. It's teak west shuns.
John Barnstead
Subject: Re: PUN: shakespeare
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
References: <19971116232...@ladder02.news.aol.com> <19971117023...@ladder02.news.aol.com> <346fc2f1...@news1.on.sympatico.ca> <64qbb3$q...@bmerhc5e.bnr.ca> <64qi3g$n3o$9...@netnews.upenn.edu>
Distribution:
Alan Kors (ak...@mail2.sas.upenn.edu) wrote:
: This all reminds the Prof of the old-time thugs who tried to run a
: protection racket against a theater company. Finally, the actors decided
: to fight them, and were ready with baseball bats and lead pipes. They
: won; the show went on; and they taught the lesson: "You can't make a
: Hamlet without breaking a few yeggs!"
Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat brightens to see the Prof up
to his old high jinks -- and speaking of jinx, he believes the above
lovely pun is actually a variant on the explanation of why the customary
good luck wishes in the Theatre take the form they do.... As Jezebel told
me after her successful albeit Blue-Cross-intensive production, "You can't
make a Hamlet without breaking a few legs!" Hence the superstitious
salutation "Break a leg!"....
"Welcome back, dear Prof!" says Pernicious the Musquodoboit
Harbour Farm Cat, proffering him a bundle of long-handled
cleaning implements instead of the customary right paw of good
fellowship.... the Prof HAS, after all, missed out on a good MANY
voluntary peanut cleanups in the past little while. "Squeeze it -- the
mop!" he adds a bit later on, observing the Prof's cavalier attitude to
water conservation while swabbing Callahan's decks....
Lady Cheron
Alan Kors wrote:
>
> This all reminds the Prof of the old-time thugs who tried to run a
> protection racket against a theater company. Finally, the actors decided
> to fight them, and were ready with baseball bats and lead pipes. They
> won; the show went on; and they taught the lesson: "You can't make a
> Hamlet without breaking a few yeggs!"
>
> he saw the forest moving: "Cheese it, the copse!"
>
> Cheers, ACK
"Hey, Prof! Glad to see that you've returned," calls the
Birthday GoodWench. "Can I buy you a drink?"
--
Lady Cheron, Keeper of the Birthday List for alt.callahans.
Reply to ladycheron at iname.com *reply-to is anti-spammed*
Check out the birthday list at http://www.callahans.org
"Just a hugaholic in search of her next fix."
Felren
>Thanks, Gesi. I was just LOAFing there, just KIDding
>around, but I'll take your gently offered legume and
>make a Peanut Butt-er Sandwich.
>
>Have one on me.
>
>
"anytime," purrs felren, "anytime. should i make this one a cold one?" she adds
her slightly cooled blessing to the technicolored shower heading toward
KertRats.
Rainman
On 17 Nov 1997 02:33:50 GMT, kert...@aol.com (KertRats) wrote:
>My favorite line comes from Hamlet (which, by the way, I understand to be a
> real breakfast favorite of those who
>practice chanting in the morning - you know - Om and
>Hamlets) - anyway, it's the line where the Dane picks up
>the skull and says:
> "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him." (tossing skull over
>shoulder and beginning to walk off while changing
>subjects. "Well, Horatio....." dialogue fades off stage...
>
>Kertrats - who decided to just have fun tonight....
Alas, poor Kertrats, Hamlet never said that ...
Racognizing one of the common Shakespearian misquotes, Rainman gets
down the big red book his sister gave him several years ago - the
Globe Illustrated Shakespeare - complete and annotated. Blowing the
dust off it (yeh, he's never read the whole thing - it *is* 2300
pages, after all) he looks up the famous scene (one of his personal
favorites)
Act V, Scene 1
"Alas, poor Yorick! (pause) I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite
jest, of most excellent fancy: ..."
sorry about that, Kertrats
---
Rainman (Steven Schlimgen)
The shortest distance between two puns is a straightline.