[OT] AD&D IRL: "Oh *GHOOOD*"
Mattia Valente
For the few of you (read: people who went and maybe 2 others who have
bizarrely photographic memories, or possible who we told..) who remember
that we had Buffy-themed AD&D playing session yesterday (and part of
today) here's a bit of a 'report.'
We (George, me, Sierk) met up at Joy's house, goofed around, and
eventually got down to playing. Me being a complete and utter novice
(for all intents and purposes) made it a little confusing but great fun
nonetheless. I won't really get into the campaign (which we didn't get
anywhere near finishing...yet.) much except to mention a few highly
bizarre things, and then I'll just start giving you wonderfull out of
context quotes.
First of all, Henk, our DM, has a nice little evil streak. Expect no
mercy, and playing at 8th level, I'm actually very surprised we all
survived (althuogh it was damn close..) Basically what we had up until
now is a murder mystery in a sealed off castle where odd things are
happening (oh, and Buffy making a special guest appearance as a Vampire.
Drained George a little.)
On to the weirdness. We all needed strange proficiencies, none of which
has been used as yet.. George slaps people with fish, Sierk makes insect
noises ("I am the bug man, koo-koo ka-choo"), Joy rides Dolphins, and I
throw magic auto-inflating pufferfish of the poisonous variety. The
'word of the night' was 'Boink' (I think I know where we got it from,
indirectly, but that's a spoiler..) We pretty much figured out that
George (well, Tiuri, his character) has a massive obsession with
boinking anything and everything in a skirt. Plus, it seemed everyone
was boinking everyone else as far as other characters were concerned.
Saldrin (my character) almost got lucky, but nothing came of that...
Anyway, George stupidly decided to run out of his room in the middle of
the night without specifying what he was wearing. Result: polkadotted
underpants and a nightcap with a tassle. Oh, and a longsword. Yes,
really. Eventually he went back to get another weapon, but still no time
for clothing, let alone armor. Almost killed him, but he managed to do
massive amounts of damage nonetheless (especially considering how crap
some of his throws were.)
Interruptions were frequent, ranging from discussions of Buffy, Angel,
Dr. Who, plenty of Spaceballs quotage, a little 'Robin Hood: Men in
Tights" and various other movie and/or book references. Weirdness all
around, but most definately of the fun variety. Kind of explains why it
took us so long to really get started..We wrapped up at around 4:00 AM,
since it seemed like a good place to stop (Lewd ex-human statue had just
appeared in the courtyard...) so Henk went off to bed, and the rest of
us watched 'Helpless' and 'Bad Girls' (Joy's got a crazy video
collection. 2,500 titles, was it?) 'Bad Girls' because I felt like it,
and the trams weren't gonna get me home if I left at 5:30.
ANYWAY, enough of that, on to crazy quotes!
To explain the subject heading, George seemed to say a lot a highly
innapropriate and downright funny things (though possibly it was the
lateness and the beer, so...) His reaction was often an 'Oh *GHOOD*',
sometimes in chorus with me. Frequent 'Dun dun duuun' also occured, much
of it my fault.
Henk: "Joy just throws crap"
Sierk: "She throws crap? Oh, gross.."
Henk: "You [Sierk] have a quote: 'I'll pull him up and drag him to
another room'!"
George (sotto voce): "...and then do a full cavity search."
Mattia: "This is funny out of context"
George: "What's funny out of context?"
Mattia: "OK, I'll go upstairs, try to get boinked, you guys can all go
to sleep or whatever.."
George: "She is now boinking the table. This is very disturbing."
Joy (to Mattia): "OK, you have a new title.
DiceStackCrushingMeister..[tm]"
Joy: "Bondage equals two extra."
George: "Our DM is making Evil squeaking noises."
Well, that's that, wait for a whole lot more from Joy..
Mattia
--
"My beagle went swimming today and now he's typing on my keyboard with
his ample nose. Oh, and he's the bestest handsomeest beagle EVER."
--Tim Minear, Salon.com, May 2001