abe FanFic: Part 3
Mattia Valente
1) It's set post-WML. A few weeks later, no later eps happened.
2) Dru is healed, Spike is fine after all.
3) Buffy's mom knows that Buffy and Angel are involved, doesn't know
he's a Vampire or that she's a Slayer. kind of a necessity.
4) Excuse my fake latin. Things like that.
Oh, and yes, it's really quite long. Came up with too much interesting
flobotnum to just let it all go to waste, you know (last scene, mostly
;o)
Marc, enjoy yourself, see what you can make of this stuff. As I said
before, I'm guessing we'll need at least one more round of writing here.
Here goes nothing, my first attempt at fanfic of any sort. I'll just
post it or I'll be fiddling with it forever..Tell me what you think (be
gentle...)
<Deep Breath>
-------------------
Fade to black from P@rick's bit. Commercial Break. With lots and lots of
yogurt ads with naked women in them. Oh, and water ads with naked women.
And shampoo ads with naked women. Sex sells, y'know? Plus it's fun....
-------------------
Fade in:
Spike: "By the end of the day we'll have ourselves a party like we
never had before". Dru: "Will we dance in the sunlight?"
Previously, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...
Buffy: "Giles said that it's very rare for big evil to rear its ugly
head around Christmas time."
Buffy: "I've got every base covered. Nothing can go wrong"
Spike: "I say it's time we seize the day. Take those warm-blooded snacks
by surprise, when they think they are safe."
Angel: "What do you know about the First One?"
Giles: "Oh my...God."
******
Giles slowly made his way to his desk, and slowly sank into his chair.
"This is potentially very serious indeed" he said, nervously fingering
his glasses "The First One i-is a, a legend among Vampires? The Demon
who sired the first of your kind, yes?" he asked. His face told the
whole story; worried, confused, uncertain.
"The First One is held in awe by Vampires." Angel began. "He's their God
and the messiah all wrapped into one. If he were to rise again, it would
signal the end of days, mark the beginning of the end, and so on." He
paused briefly, furrowed his brow. "Well, according to myth, anyway. I
don't think he's rea.."
"He may be." Giles interrupted, putting on his glasses, leaning forward
in his chair, the lamp casting dark shadows on his face. Angel's brow
furrowed, and Giles continued "I've been trying to make sense of a
passage I found written on a scrap of parchment in the Pergamum Codex.
O-only a few lines, really. Quite fascinating, really, if you consid.."
Angels blank look snapped Giles back to "..I-in any case, it speaks of
the First One, and a ritual of some sorts. It's been bothering me ever
since I found it."
"Why didn't you bring this up before?" Angel asked quietly.
"I'm wasn't sure it was authentic. I'm still not convinced as a matter
of fact. What little was written seemed like little more than insane
ramblings, th-the work of a madman. There was talk of vampires walking
in sunlight, their hearts opening to receive Him...." with a self
deprecating smile he tilted his head, looking up at the brooding man
standing next to him, face wreathed in darkness. "I should know better
than to make about this sort of thing by now, wouldn't you think?" a
half-smile graced Angels face. "The thing of it is, I haven't found any
other references, prophesies, anything of the sort, even indicating that
an even such as this could e-even come to pass." finished Giles.
"Sounds like Spike. Lots of talk, not much of a plan. Besides, it's been
a short time since the thing with Dru, I doubt he could be ready for a
ritual this big this fast, if it even exists." said Angel. "We should
keep an eye on the situation. He's probably out for revenge after what
happened.."
"W-well yes, of course." stuttered Giles, rising from his chair. "I'll
have to look in to the matter more carefully, but it can wait until
tomorrow, I should think. No need to worry Buffy until we know if
there's a real...."
******
"Problem. Big one."
Xander and Willow looked up from the TV screen. Buffy was standing in
front of the window, staring intently at the extinguished Christmas
lights that adorned it.
"What is it, Buffy?" asked Willow, only half paying attention as she
watched the last little bit of the 'Charlie Brown Christmas Special'
"The Lights. They're broken. We can't have a Christmas without proper
Christmassy lights!" Buffy exclaimed "They're an essential part of the
whole Christmas experience, like last minute shopping, a-and candy
canes!"
"Funny. And here I was thinking this was a religious holiday" said
Xander.
"Oh. Well, that too. Not the same for everyone, of course." Buffy added
hurriedly. Xander looked a little confused, and Willow lightly elbowed
him in the ribs, turned off the TV and got up.
"Ouch..what was tha....oh. Right. I get it." he said sheepishly, getting
to his feet "By the way, want to let me have a go at it, Buff? I mean,
electrickery is sort of mans jo..." Xander stopped as the lights came
on.
"There we go" said Willow matter-of-factly, fiddling with the lights.
"One of the lights was loose. Pushed it back into place." Buffy tried to
suppress a small smile.
"Well, there you go, nice, bright, shiny lights. Very Christmassy." He
said, giving them two thumbs up. "Great job, Buff. You too, Willow. I'll
just go have a look if Buffy's Mom needs some help."
At that moment the doorbell rang. "Buffy? Can you get that?" called
Joyce from the kitchen.
"Got it, Mom!" Buffy replied. She walked to the entrance and opened the
door, letting a gust of freezing cold air enter, and revealing Giles,
and right behind him, Angel. " Merry Christmas...Eve. Come on in!" said
Buffy "Funny you should both arrive together.." she said, a little
confused.
"Giles offered to give me a ride." said Angel. Buffy looked a little
puzzled, and opened her mouth as if to say something when Joyce came
walking out.
"Hello Mr. Giles, and hello..Angel, is it?" she asked
"Yes ma'am. Thanks for having me over. I really appreciate it." Replied
Angel.
"Thank you so much for having me over for dinner, Mrs. Summers.." said
Giles, handing her a bottle of red wine.
"You shouldn't have" she said, taking the wine. "It's really too bad you
two couldn't make it home to your folks this year. Christmas is a time
to spend with friends and family." She said, smiling. Giles smiled a
little self-consciously and Angel's expression tightened a little at
that. Buffy quickly jumped in before her mom could get another word in.
"Yes it is. Well, they're among friends here. That's good! Oh, mom,
isn't that the timer for the goose?" she said as something rang in the
background.
"Excuse me, I'll be right back. Buffy, could you get our guests some
eggnog?" asked Joyce "Dinner will be served in a few minutes."
"Sure thing mom." Buffy replied. "Giles? Nogg?"
"N-no thank you Buffy." He replied quietly.
"Giles, something bothering you?" asked Buffy.
"What? Oh, n-no, nothing of the sort. It's been a busy week, that's
all.." He replied, taking off his coat. It was cold outside. Uncommonly
cold for California. It worried him.
"This is going to be an interesting evening." said Angel.
Buffy smiled at him "I know, it's tough, my mom not knowing about me
being a slayer and you being a Vampire and all, but It'll work out." She
put her arms around him, resting her chin on his chest, looking into his
eyes. "Besides, it's worth it. This is perfect"
Hanging his coat up, Giles looked at the pair of them, his unease ever
present. "I hope you're right.." he whispered to himself.
******
Spike looked out over the crowd of vampires gathered before him.
Awestruck. Obedient. In his control. It was as things should be. Without
the bloody Slayer interfering with everything, with Dru stronger again,
at his side. This was going to be his finest hour.
"Where the hell is Dalton, that simpering idiot?" he muttered. "If he
doesn't show up soon, I'll stake the blood fool myself..." At that
moment, a nervous Dalton came up from behind Spike and whispered
something in his ear. "It's about bloody time. Get on with it, will
you?" Spike replied, rising from his chair. "Drusilla, Pet, we're about
to start, you don't want to miss this my pretty." He said, as Dru
waltzed out slowly from the shadows behind him, dancing to a tune only
she could hear.
"It's time, my darling! I can feel him singing to me, calling..." she
said in a singsong tone. Spike grinned, picked her up and spun her
around, kissing her.
"Lets move out, people! It's time to meet our destiny! Go on! Move your
sodding lazy behinds and get out there!" he shouted, breaking contact
for a moment. The crowd cheered in appreciation and started to
dissipate, heading for the tunnels. A few of them, thirteen to be
precise, dragged along an equal number of bound a gagged humans, all
alive, all horrified.
"Let's GO fellows! We haven't got all damn night, you know? Get out to
the Stones. Now!" he said, once again looking away. As the last of the
vampires disappeared, he cradled Dru's head in his hands, looked her in
the eyes, and smiled.
******
Dalton was chanting, a long lost text, a sacred text, one that had only
been a legend, a rumor, for numerous centuries. As he chanted, standing
in the center of a ring of 13 stones, the skies darkened, and the wind
seemed to grow colder. Swirling clouds overhead were loosing their
contents upon the earth, and fine white flakes settled upon the town of
Sunnydale for the first white Christmas in many years.
As the chants approached a climax, the earth trembled, and Dalton
shimmered, and disappeared in a blinding flash of light. The Vampires
who were standing outside of the ring stumbled back, and the humans
could be heard whimpering, crying, trying to scream through their gags,
without avail.
Where Dalton had stood there was a glowing sphere, about man high,
swirling with red and black. Slowly the earth began to shake, cracks
opening. In the distance a few screams could be heard.
Spike snorted. "You'd think these bleeding idiots would be used to
earthquakes by now.."
******
"Could you pass me the potatoes please, Buffy?" asked Joyce. Dinner was
well underway, and was going splendidly. The food was a smash hit,
everyone was having a good time, several conversations going at once.
Giles and Joyce were discussing Buffy's schoolwork, while Buffy herself
kept busy by talking to Willow and Xander, and making small eyes at
Angel, their hands interlocked under the tablecloth. He'd strategically
chosen a position across from Joyce, with the goose in between them,
which helped hide the fact he was essentially pushing his food around.
Thank goodness they'd chosen a red wine for the evening.
"Here you go mom" she said, passing the bowl, and shifted her focus back
to Willow and Xander. "Have you guy's noticed how Cordy's been acting a
little weird lately?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah, it's like there's some secret or something" said Willow.
"Maybe she's got a new boyfriend" Buffy said, as Xander choked on his
Goose and started coughing.
"I'm ok. Went down the wrong way." He said quickly.
"I pity the guy already. I mean, Cordelia?" Willow asked
"I know exactly what you mean, Will." Xander laughed nervously " I mean
Cordelia....Hey guys, check it out! It's snowing!"
"Very funny Xan..." said Buffy, and then stopped short as she noticed
everyone was staring out the window.
"Wow. This has, like, never happened. I mean, wow, real snow! In
Sunnydale! Wow." said Willow.
"Well, there's nothing like a white Christmas, is there, Mr. Giles?"
smiled Joyce.
Giles was wearing a slight frown, worry ever increasing. "Indeed..."
"I'm speechless. We haven't seen Snow since...." Xander was cut short by
a deep rumbling, and shaking walls. "Quick! Get in a doorway!" The whole
house was moving, and it seemed as if everything that wasn't nailed in
place was flying around. There were shouts as everyone tried to seek
cover. He saw Joyce hiding under a desk.
"I'll never get used to this.." muttered Giles as he scrabbled for
safety, ending up next to Xander and Willow who were crouching in the
main doorway. He caught a glimpse of Angel's face, and what he saw in
his eyes made him forget about the quake. "Willow, Xander, get Buffy's
mother out to safety. Meet us out front.." he snapped.
"W-why? What's going on? What do we tell her?" asked Willow
"Just think of something! And do it fast, Willow!" he said. Xander
opened his mouth to say something "Not now Xander. Go! Now!" hearing the
urgency in his voice, Willow dragged Xander along to do what Giles'
wanted.
Shakily, trying avoid the objects that were falling all around him, the
glass, everything being made worse by the snow and icy wind that was
blowing in through the shattered windows, he made his way over to Buffy.
Angel was leaning heavily on her shoulder, looking as if he'd just
gotten the wind knocked out of him.
"Giles, what's happening?" she asked urgently "What's going on?"
"The First....he's....I can feel it.....he" stuttered Angel.
"Come on, lets get going. We need to get him to the library, now." He
said, worry increasing. "Willow and Xander are taking care of your
mother, they'll join us soon. I just hope this bloody quake stops
soon..." Giles growled as he helped Buffy drag Angel outside, to his
car. The trembling was diminishing, still there, but barely perceptible.
******
"Don't just stand there, you bloody idiots! Get on with it!" Spike
shouted. "We've got a ritual to complete! Lets get moving!"
Slowly the vampires started to react. They were still in awe of what was
happening, although none of them truly understood what was going on. The
sphere pulsed with light, with energy the vampires could feel. The
ground still shook, but they knew this was as it should be. Thirteen of
them took up their places, each with a human captive, each standing over
one of the stones that encircled the orb.
"It's starting isn't it?" Dru said, her voice trembling with
anticipation, her eyes glazed over in her ecstasy. "I can feel Him! He's
coming closer!"
"Yes, pet, he is, now if you don't mind, I'd like to finish my ritual"
Spike replied, gently for his standards. "Lets get cracking then, shall
we? Start drinking boys! Take it slow, mind." He moved to the edge of
the circle and took out a tome.
"Come forth, oh Ancient one." Spike began. "Return to this dimension,
where you once ruled supreme. Emerge and grant us once more a greater
purchase on this reality! Make us strong once more!" his voice grew
louder, more insistent, passion filling it. "Ascende Nosferatum
Progenitor! Veni in Mundo! Nasquiat! Ascende!!!!"
Suddenly everything fell to deathly quiet. For a heartbeat nothing could
be heard, the world seemed frozen. Just as suddenly as it had come, it
disappeared, and streams of light, of energy shot out from the sphere,
piercing the 13 Vampires and their victims, suffusing them with an
unholy light.
"Take their blood to make us pure! Drink from these beings! Break open
the portals! Live! Be reborn!!" Shouted Spike. Dru was squealing with
anticipation, savoring every moment.
The threads of light, glowing a blood red, grew further and further. The
13 and their victims seemed to waver, shift, loose form, and with a
flash they disintegrated, and seemed to be sucked in towards the center.
The sphere seemed to explode, with a flash of light and a deafening
blast that knocked everyone from their feet.
Of the 13 and their human offerings there was no sign. Not even dust
remained. Standing in the center of the stones stood a tall figure,
taller than any man, wearing a shroud of darkness. His features were
indistinguishable, as if he lived within the night itself, a shadow
which could not be dispelled by any means.
Spike felt a surge of strength, of power. It was as if the demon within
had gained strength, and was ever growing stronger.
"Well, mate, looks like it worked. Welcome, oh First One." He said, as
the figure turned it's gaze upon him. "Good to have you back." The First
said nothing.
******
The earth was still trembling as everyone piled out of Giles' car into
the parking lot. Almost back to normal. At that moment, they heard an
blast, accompanied by an incredibly bright flash of light.
"What the hell was that?" asked Buffy.
"I second that question" added Xander. "What is going on here? Some sort
of demon Christmas party thing you forgot to tell us about?"
Angel gasped, and vamped out. "Tie me up." He said, through clenched
teeth. "Do it before I lose control. Now!"
"What..." Buffy began.
"Get him into the library. Just do as I say! Go!" seeing the fear on
Giles' face forestalled any further discussion, and they were dragging a
writhing Angel into the Library in no time. "Get the sedatives, Buffy."
"You have sedatives? Wait, why do you need sedatives?" she asked. In the
mean time Giles rushed over to the counter himself, shoved away the
piles of fallen books, and pulled out a tranquilizer rifle. Before Buffy
could react he'd loaded a dart, and shot Angel in the arm. The shaking
stopped. "Get him into the cage. I don't want him waking up out here."
Willow and Xander took one look at Giles' face and rushed to comply.
"Ok, now will somebody *please* tell me what is happening here? Why did
you shoot my boyfriend? Giles, spill." spoke a confused and angry
Buffy.
******
"Well, well, well...our great ancestor has come back to our reality"
"What does that mean?" asked one of the remaining vamps, still stunned,
staring at the shadowy wraithlike figure, who was standing in the center
of the ring, silent, unmoving.
"It means, you ponce, that our time has come again at last! We're
growing stronger by the minute! Our link to the demon realm is growing.
No more death by sunlight for us anymore. The world will be ours again.
And my first daytime excursion will be the Slayer..."
******
The gang was sitting around the tables, in the midst of quake wreckage,
waiting for an explanation. Giles took a deep breath and began.
"Legend has it that the last demon to leave this reality fed on a human,
mixed their blood letting, a-a part of the demon escape it's
dimension..."
"Giles, we know this. Get to the point." Said Buffy impatiently.
"Yes, sorry. Anyhow, the possessing demon reanimates the body, giving it
powers that stem from it's demon half. The crux of the story is this;
the demon within is linked to it's native dimension, it's where it gets
it's powers from. The heart is the focus for this energy, a place where
th-the demon dimension is closest to ours."
"So is that why vampires go poof if ya stake them?" asked Willow
"Indeed. You see, the blood of the vampire carries with it the life
force, or rather the demonic force, of the host. Wooden stakes are
essential, as only material imbued with life can destroy the link. The
heart is where the link is strongest. A human must be weakened
sufficiently, enough of his or her own life-force, soul, blood, drained
before ingesting vampire blood will lead to a new vampire. It can take
hours for the demon to take control of it's new vessel, but eventually
it does happen, and the new vampire rises"
"Giles! Still nothing new here. What's the what? Why did you drug Angel?
Who's the First?"
"To fully understand what has happened here you need to know this,
Buffy. Now please be patient. I shall try to move it along." He took off
his glasses and rubbed his eyes with his left hand. "As you have no
doubt noticed, the possessing demon can be weaker or stronger. A soul
can fight off the demonic influence quite effectively, as Angel has
shown us. That is because it has more power in this dimension. It wasn't
always so." He paused for a moment.
"It is said that the first vampires did not fear the sun, that it did
not harm them. As the race of man grew, and it's forces took control of
our reality, the link to the demon realm weakened. In time, sunlight and
fire came to be lethal to them, which hadn't been the case. As mortals
expanded, their strength grew, and the symbols of their faith, blessed
water and crosses, came to be harmful to the demons, who ever grew
weaker."
"Wow. Being a Slayer must've been a really tough gig back in the days"
said Xander. Buffy gave him a look. "What?"
Giles frowned and continued. "There is a legend among Vampires that says
that upon the return of the first one, the Demon that created the first
vampire, one of the Old Ones who ruled this dimension eons ago, 'Their
kind shall grow strong again, not fear the light any longer, and the end
of days shall come for the mortal man.' I always thought it a myth, but
it seems Spike has pulled it off, heaving only knows how. Or rather,
Hell.." he mumbled to himself.
"So if this First guy rises.." began Buffy.
"I'm afraid he already has. I'm quite sure of it, in fact.." interrupted
Giles.
"..so this means that Angel's demon within is growing in strength?"
asked Buffy.
"It does. I fear that the fight between the demon and his mortal soul is
possibly on even footing now. It will take most all of his energy to try
to retain control. He's a danger to us now, we must be careful. We must
find a way to stop the First..." Giles stopped "It has just occured to
me that Mr. Zabuto may have been referring to this when he spoke of a
dark power. It's all crystal clear in hindsight."
"I'll stop him" said Buffy softly looking at the prostrate form of her
boyfriend on the floor of the library cage "If it's the last thing I
do..."
******
THE END. Of my bit, anyway. Comments are welcome, take it away, Marc!
Hope I didn't screw it up too much ;o)
Mattia
PostMeister[tm]
Marc
> THE END. Of my bit, anyway. Comments are welcome, take it away, Marc!
> Hope I didn't screw it up too much ;o)
My underjaw is dangling at my chest
I'm like this now: head bowed and <clap clap clap>
You really pulled it of there Mattia; now I have to make it happen...
<sighs - think about what I just said>
O man - do I feel pressure!
Marc
PS: indeed the Latin sucks- but that's no problem, you saved it
marvellously. Besides: - mundus vult decipi!
Mattia Valente
>
> > THE END. Of my bit, anyway. Comments are welcome, take it away, Marc!
> > Hope I didn't screw it up too much ;o)
>
> My underjaw is dangling at my chest
> I'm like this now: head bowed and <clap clap clap>
> You really pulled it of there Mattia; now I have to make it happen...
*blush*
Aw, shucks...
Thanks! I'm a little unsure about the earthquake action sequences (bitch
to write) but I think it still works. Bit tight on the timeframe issue
though. Buffy lives really really close to school ;o)
> <sighs - think about what I just said>
> O man - do I feel pressure!
:o)
> PS: indeed the Latin sucks- but that's no problem, you saved it
> marvellously.
Hehe...faking is a skill. Speaking Italian helps a little. I think it's
at least clear what I was *trying* to say here. Feel free to correct it,
BTW ;o)
> Besides: - mundus vult decipi!
Uhh..what? The World somthing something (my brain's fried.)
Mattia
Marc
"Mattia Valente" <mae.v...@std.vu.nl> schreef in bericht
news:3A622309...@std.vu.nl...
> Marc wrote:
>>Mattia
> Thanks! I'm a little unsure about the earthquake action sequences (bitch
> to write) but I think it still works. Bit tight on the timeframe issue
> though. Buffy lives really really close to school ;o)
I had no problem with that - cause it had a good "scene" cadans - euh.. the
right "rhythm".
I'll probably go slower 'cause that's more my style - I already have an idea
how to move the story on, although I'm not elaborating on it right now,
ideas change ;) - and besides, the second season is not stone-written in my
head, so I have to research on how the interaction between the characters
was back then...
> > Besides: - mundus vult decipi!
>
> Uhh..what? The World somthing something (my brain's fried.)
The World Wants to Be Decieved
Marc
(knowing some Latin)
Mattia Valente
>
> "Mattia Valente" <mae.v...@std.vu.nl> schreef in bericht
> news:3A622309...@std.vu.nl...
> > Marc wrote:
> >>Mattia
>
> > Thanks! I'm a little unsure about the earthquake action sequences (bitch
> > to write) but I think it still works. Bit tight on the timeframe issue
> > though. Buffy lives really really close to school ;o)
>
> I had no problem with that - cause it had a good "scene" cadans - euh.. the
> right "rhythm".
Ah. So that worked. I fiddeled with the order a little to keep the
momentum going.
> I'll probably go slower 'cause that's more my style - I already have an idea
> how to move the story on, although I'm not elaborating on it right now,
> ideas change ;)
:o)
Keep it a secret, very exciting..
>- and besides, the second season is not stone-written in my
> head, so I have to research on how the interaction between the characters
> was back then...
Very important, that. I mean, we've just had Kendra drop by, Angel and
Buffy are very much in Love (Angelus is unknown), Willo hasn't met Oz,
Xander just did the Cordelia kissing thing, stuff like that.
> > > Besides: - mundus vult decipi!
> >
> > Uhh..what? The World somthing something (my brain's fried.)
>
> The World Wants to Be Decieved
Ah. Now I see it.
> Marc
> (knowing some Latin)
Mattia
not knowing any.
george van hal
Mattia Valente <mae.v...@std.vu.nl> wrote:
Tssss....
Damned Deja with posts turning up too late and all. Forget where I
asked if you'd finished this allready ;-)
> OK, first of all, warning, it's long. A few things I decided on.
>
> 1) It's set post-WML. A few weeks later, no later eps happened.
Okay....
> 2) Dru is healed, Spike is fine after all.
Check ;-)
> 3) Buffy's mom knows that Buffy and Angel are involved, doesn't know
> he's a Vampire or that she's a Slayer. kind of a necessity.
Check :-p
> 4) Excuse my fake latin. Things like that.
Allrighty :-)
>
> Oh, and yes, it's really quite long. Came up with too much interesting
> flobotnum to just let it all go to waste, you know (last scene, mostly
> ;o)
Ooh...indeed. That's definatly quite long (6 part Deja post actually :-
)). Gonna be reading this later. Not tonight. Not on Deja :-)
And then I'll give you my brutally honest, but nice, comments :-p
See Ya,
George
Netscape *sucks* :-p
Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/
Jonathan Black
> Here goes nothing, my first attempt at fanfic of any sort.
> I'll just post it or I'll be fiddling with it forever..Tell
> me what you think (be gentle...)
Well, I'm impressed. I read up on the previous parts before
tackling yours, Mattia, as I don't think I even ever got round to
reading P@rick's very nice piece of work on Part II back on
December 30th. I thought I'd throw in the Deja links for the
previous installments for the convenience of anyone else who
feels the need to refer back to them.
Part I, by George van Hal (8 Dec, 2000)
http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=702588892
Part II, by P@rick (30 Dec, 2000)
http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=710221896
Part III, by Mattia Valente (14 Jan, 2001)
http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=715758170
Anyway. Very cool stuff from all three of you. The parts have
gotten progressively longer since George's original scene setting
piece. I think you guys are doing a very good job of capturing
the style of typical BtVS storytelling. The pacing, the order of
the scenes, and especially the transitions between them, often
witty, e.g. "... until we know there's a real--" *** "Problem.
Big One.", brilliant stuff!!!
Oh and I also got a kick out of the way you inserted the words
"Previously on BtVS" not at the very beginning, but *after*
Spike's first line of recap dialogue, which has become a kind of
trademark way of doing it on the show, I guess, and somehow it
really cracked me up to see it like that in this fanfic piece.
Again, great stuff!!!
Marc, I don't envy you, having to continue this task here, but I
look forward to your installment of the story.
--
jonathaN
Sierk
"Mattia Valente" <mae.v...@std.vu.nl> wrote in message
news:3A62176D...@std.vu.nl...
> OK, first of all, warning, it's long. A few things I decided on.
>
> 1) It's set post-WML. A few weeks later, no later eps happened.
> 2) Dru is healed, Spike is fine after all.
> 3) Buffy's mom knows that Buffy and Angel are involved, doesn't know
> he's a Vampire or that she's a Slayer. kind of a necessity.
> 4) Excuse my fake latin. Things like that.
>
> Oh, and yes, it's really quite long. Came up with too much interesting
> flobotnum to just let it all go to waste, you know (last scene, mostly
> ;o)
> Marc, enjoy yourself, see what you can make of this stuff. As I said
> before, I'm guessing we'll need at least one more round of writing here.
>
> Here goes nothing, my first attempt at fanfic of any sort. I'll just
> post it or I'll be fiddling with it forever..Tell me what you think (be
> gentle...)
>
> <Deep Breath>
<Snip story>
This is good, Mattia!
I'm rather impressed and I'm not even being gentle here.
And I like your Flobutnum :-)
Sierk
Mattia Valente
> Mattia Valente wrote:
> > Here goes nothing, my first attempt at fanfic of any sort.
> > I'll just post it or I'll be fiddling with it forever..Tell
> > me what you think (be gentle...)
>
> Well, I'm impressed. I read up on the previous parts before
> tackling yours, Mattia, as I don't think I even ever got round to
> reading P@rick's very nice piece of work on Part II back on
> December 30th. I thought I'd throw in the Deja links for the
> previous installments for the convenience of anyone else who
> feels the need to refer back to them.
>
> Part I, by George van Hal (8 Dec, 2000)
> http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=702588892
>
> Part II, by P@rick (30 Dec, 2000)
> http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=710221896
>
> Part III, by Mattia Valente (14 Jan, 2001)
> http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=715758170
Ah. Very handy, actually. I was wondering whether or not to repost
stuff. I kept flipping back to the previous sections. I think I remained
internally consistent. Mostly. I hope. Anyway, too late for any of that
now ;o)
> Anyway. Very cool stuff from all three of you. The parts have
> gotten progressively longer since George's original scene setting
> piece.
Indeed they have. Much, much longer. which can be good ;-)
> I think you guys are doing a very good job of capturing
> the style of typical BtVS storytelling. The pacing, the order of
> the scenes, and especially the transitions between them, often
> witty, e.g. "... until we know there's a real--" *** "Problem.
> Big One.", brilliant stuff!!!
:o)
It worked! Yay! OK, pretty standard Buffy issue, but hey, it worked.
This is being written a lot more like a TV episode than some FanFic is,
I've been noticing, which I think works quite well. I made the
intelligent choice to do action (well, sort of intelligent. Actions
sequences are hard!) instead of more comedy. The comic bits are hard!
> Oh and I also got a kick out of the way you inserted the words
> "Previously on BtVS" not at the very beginning, but *after*
> Spike's first line of recap dialogue, which has become a kind of
> trademark way of doing it on the show, I guess, and somehow it
> really cracked me up to see it like that in this fanfic piece.
:o)
Two for two....notice the cutting of sections to make them fit what I
wanted to say instead of being consistent with what happened? That
happens too..
> Again, great stuff!!!
<takes a bow>
I'm getting a little self-concious here, but thanks!
> Marc, I don't envy you, having to continue this task here, but I
> look forward to your installment of the story.
Hehe..I'm gald to hear that he's already got some idea's. I'm not sure
where I'd go with this from here. I'm not sure I even have a plan for it
(other than, in my world, the goodguys end up winning....That's sort of
it, though. Hmmm...kill off a MC? Naah...too evil.)
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Mattia Valente
> In article <3A62176D...@std.vu.nl>,
> Mattia Valente <mae.v...@std.vu.nl> wrote:
> Tssss....
> Damned Deja with posts turning up too late and all. Forget where I
> asked if you'd finished this allready ;-)
:-p
> > OK, first of all, warning, it's long. A few things I decided on.
> >
> > 1) It's set post-WML. A few weeks later, no later eps happened.
>
> Okay....
So we're clear on that...you picking up where Marc leaves off?
> > 2) Dru is healed, Spike is fine after all.
>
> Check ;-)
I made that explicit in the story, as it turns out, but hey...
> > 3) Buffy's mom knows that Buffy and Angel are involved, doesn't know
> > he's a Vampire or that she's a Slayer. kind of a necessity.
>
> Check :-p
;-)
> > 4) Excuse my fake latin. Things like that.
>
> Allrighty :-)
Hehe...ah well, didn't quite get away with it. Someone actually speaketh
Latineth.
> > Oh, and yes, it's really quite long. Came up with too much interesting
> > flobotnum to just let it all go to waste, you know (last scene, mostly
> > ;o)
>
> Ooh...indeed. That's definatly quite long (6 part Deja post actually :-
> )).
Yikes. That much? I had 7-odd pages in Word, more or less.
> Gonna be reading this later. Not tonight. Not on Deja :-)
Fair enough ;o)
> And then I'll give you my brutally honest, but nice, comments :-p
Uh-oh...
> See Ya,
> George
> Netscape *sucks* :-p
Better than IE and OE...
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Never had a problem with nestcape. Been using it since Version 2.0
Mattia Valente
> <Snip story>
>
> This is good, Mattia!
Thanks!
> I'm rather impressed and I'm not even being gentle here.
Ah. That's good to know. I would appreciate any criticism you can throw
my way, BTW. Things to pay attention to when writing the next part
(whenever that'll happen.) In the meanwhile I'll be reading more FanFic.
> And I like your Flobutnum :-)
Hehe..It came out OK. I think my 'written for myself' version was
possibly a little clearer. P@rick might be able to comment on this bit,
he beta-read it (since he'd just finished his section, next turn a ways
off.)
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Jonathan Black
> This is being written a lot more like a TV episode than some
> FanFic is, I've been noticing, which I think works quite
> well.
Indeed, sort of a cross between a screenplay and a novel.
> JB> Oh and I also got a kick out of the way you inserted the
> JB> words "Previously on BtVS" not at the very beginning, but
> JB> *after* Spike's first line of recap dialogue, [...]
>
> :o)
>
> Two for two....notice the cutting of sections to make them
> fit what I wanted to say instead of being consistent with
> what happened? That happens too..
Yes! Indeed, man. In a sense your piece is almost like a parody
of the show, but not in a bad way or anything, just that these
little `homage' thingies are very funny.
> > Again, great stuff!!!
>
> <takes a bow>
>
> I'm getting a little self-concious here, but thanks!
That's okay. We'll let you know when you go too far.
Bye,
--
jonathaN
Mattia Valente
>
> Mattia Valente wrote:
>
> > This is being written a lot more like a TV episode than some
> > FanFic is, I've been noticing, which I think works quite
> > well.
>
> Indeed, sort of a cross between a screenplay and a novel.
Right. It's easier to write than, say, a real novel kind of thing. The
comedy and feel inherent to the show lies in no small part in how
exactly it's put together, the transitions, scene cuts. I visualize what
I'm trying to portray as if it were an ep. In fact, I was listening to
the soundtrack album and all my Chris Beck MP3s while writing ;o)
> > JB> Oh and I also got a kick out of the way you inserted the
> > JB> words "Previously on BtVS" not at the very beginning, but
> > JB> *after* Spike's first line of recap dialogue, [...]
> >
> > :o)
> >
> > Two for two....notice the cutting of sections to make them
> > fit what I wanted to say instead of being consistent with
> > what happened? That happens too..
>
> Yes! Indeed, man. In a sense your piece is almost like a parody
> of the show, but not in a bad way or anything, just that these
> little `homage' thingies are very funny.
I'm glad it's appreciated. I thought they were amusing, but hey, I'm
sort of supposed to, since I'm writing it in. I'll probably also cringe
at some bits of text when I reread them (the flobotnum is floppy. Could
be a little tighter. But hey, I, um, did that on purpose, to, er, let
other people have the chance to do their own stuff! Yeah, that's it...)
> > > Again, great stuff!!!
> >
> > <takes a bow>
> >
> > I'm getting a little self-concious here, but thanks!
>
> That's okay. We'll let you know when you go too far.
<willow mode>
Is it happening yet? It's happening isn't it! You should've told me it
was happening! Why didn't anybody warn me?
</willow mode>
;o)
What I'm really curious about is where Marc's going to take this. The
other stuff he's written is really good (feel the pressure yet Marc? No?
I'll try harder..;-) and I wrote this annoying cliffhangerish kind of
thing, and I want to know what happens next..does that make me strange
in any way? Anyhoo, I'll be updating the website with, among other
things, the story, sometime tomorrow, schedule allowing.
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Marc
> What I'm really curious about is where Marc's going to take this. The
> other stuff he's written is really good (feel the pressure yet Marc? No?
> I'll try harder..;-) and I wrote this annoying cliffhangerish kind of
> thing, and I want to know what happens next..does that make me strange
> in any way? Anyhoo, I'll be updating the website with, among other
> things, the story, sometime tomorrow, schedule allowing.
You see Mattia - this sort of thing doesn't pressure me, (swallows something
hard) it provides me with the challange to do the best I can - the only
problem I see for myself is the keep the 'tone' - I tend to be darker, maybe
try to reflect more of the inner torment of the characters and my humor is a
bit dull - but that's the thing with a project like this; having the
unmistakable individual stamp in every part.
Marc
PS - what's the url of the website?
george van hal
<snip story>
*Great* stuff mattia. Characterisation is spot on. The flobotnum is
great and the story exciting and well written. Marc's going to have a
hard time following this up. But I'm sure he'll make the best of it :-)
Any negatives? Ermm.....not really. <thinks hard>. Nope. Some typing
errors perhaps? Nothing more, really....
See Ya,
George
Jonathan Black
Mattia Valente
>
> Mattia wrote
>
> > What I'm really curious about is where Marc's going to take this. The
> > other stuff he's written is really good (feel the pressure yet Marc? No?
> > I'll try harder..;-) and I wrote this annoying cliffhangerish kind of
> > thing, and I want to know what happens next..does that make me strange
> > in any way? Anyhoo, I'll be updating the website with, among other
> > things, the story, sometime tomorrow, schedule allowing.
>
> You see Mattia - this sort of thing doesn't pressure me, (swallows something
> hard)
That's painful. You could just swallow hard. Easier.
> it provides me with the challange to do the best I can - the only
> problem I see for myself is the keep the 'tone' - I tend to be darker, maybe
> try to reflect more of the inner torment of the characters and my humor is a
> bit dull - but that's the thing with a project like this; having the
> unmistakable individual stamp in every part.
That is indeed true. The way I look at the bit I just wrote is that it's
more of a setup for the rest. I tried to blend in the funny in the B/W/X
bits, pre-drama, since that's how the show usually works. A lot of stuff
happened, I didn't take too much time for introspection. I'm looking
forward to what you'll do with it (read your other screenplay
thingy...nice..) Enjoy the potential for inner torment while you write.
It's definately there (ok, for some characters a little more literally
than for others...:o)
> Marc
>
> PS - what's the url of the website?
Jon beat me to it. It's on his server...
Mattia
abe WebMeister[tm] http://bite.to/abe
Mattia Valente
>
> Mattia Valente <mae.v...@std.vu.nl> wrote:
>
> <snip story>
>
> *Great* stuff mattia. Characterisation is spot on. The flobotnum is
> great and the story exciting and well written. Marc's going to have a
> hard time following this up. But I'm sure he'll make the best of it :-)
:o)
> Any negatives? Ermm.....not really. <thinks hard>. Nope. Some typing
> errors perhaps? Nothing more, really....
Hmmm..I did spellcheck, and other than the flobotnum bit, the dialogue
flows realitevly well. It's of a higher standard (technically) than my
average post, that's for sure ;-)
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Saskia
> Part I, by George van Hal (8 Dec, 2000)
> http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=702588892
>
> Part II, by P@rick (30 Dec, 2000)
> http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=710221896
>
> Part III, by Mattia Valente (14 Jan, 2001)
> http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=715758170
Thanks for those jonathaN! Very handy.
> Anyway. Very cool stuff from all three of you. The parts have
> gotten progressively longer since George's original scene setting
> piece. I think you guys are doing a very good job of capturing
> the style of typical BtVS storytelling. The pacing, the order of
> the scenes, and especially the transitions between them, often
> witty, e.g. "... until we know there's a real--" *** "Problem.
> Big One.", brilliant stuff!!!
Yes!!! I just read Mattia's part and I agree with everything that's said
hereabove. Nothing to add really. Just wanted to have this said. So that
no-one lies awake all night wondering and worrying why I hadn't said
anything yet. That possibly I read it all and really disliked it. Or
maybe even nervously considering the fact that I hadn't even *read*
them! What? Who's babbling? Oh, sorry.... uh...
M2!
> Marc, I don't envy you, having to continue this task here, but I
> look forward to your installment of the story.
M2!
--
Saskia
Mattia Valente
>
> Jonathan Black vertelde :
>
> > Part I, by George van Hal (8 Dec, 2000)
> > http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=702588892
> >
> > Part II, by P@rick (30 Dec, 2000)
> > http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=710221896
> >
> > Part III, by Mattia Valente (14 Jan, 2001)
> > http://deja.com/=dnc/getdoc.xp?AN=715758170
>
> Thanks for those jonathaN! Very handy.
Probably, since a lot of newsservers probably binned them already. I
know mine did.
> > Anyway. Very cool stuff from all three of you. The parts have
> > gotten progressively longer since George's original scene setting
> > piece. I think you guys are doing a very good job of capturing
> > the style of typical BtVS storytelling. The pacing, the order of
> > the scenes, and especially the transitions between them, often
> > witty, e.g. "... until we know there's a real--" *** "Problem.
> > Big One.", brilliant stuff!!!
>
> Yes!!! I just read Mattia's part and I agree with everything that's said
> hereabove. Nothing to add really. Just wanted to have this said.
Thanks! Hmm...lots of praise...no criticism yet, really...it's getting
to me. I like it so far..
> So that
> no-one lies awake all night wondering and worrying why I hadn't said
> anything yet. That possibly I read it all and really disliked it. Or
> maybe even nervously considering the fact that I hadn't even *read*
> them! What? Who's babbling? Oh, sorry.... uh...
<Rolls eyes..>
> M2!
Right.
> > Marc, I don't envy you, having to continue this task here, but I
> > look forward to your installment of the story.
>
> M2!
M3!!
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
"My head... feels big. Is it big?"
Willow, 'Becoming pt II'
Marc
<knipperdeknip>
>
> > > Marc, I don't envy you, having to continue this task here, but I
> > > look forward to your installment of the story.
> > M2!
>
> M3!!
TEASER:
She stood in front of The Bronze. From outside it was a tasteless building,
not worth mentioning, but The Bronze was a crown for the youth, a place for
themselves where they could meet each other while listening to live music;
some brilliant, some sucked.
(...)
He looked at her, silently, beastly. Then a soft, low mutilated laughter
rose up from the depth of his stomach, rolled out his mouth filled with pain
and sickness and hate - plenty of hate and anger.
:p
Marc
(already on page 6)
Mattia Valente
> <knipperdeknip>
> >
> > > > Marc, I don't envy you, having to continue this task here, but I
> > > > look forward to your installment of the story.
>
> > > M2!
> >
> > M3!!
>
> TEASER:
Yay!
> She stood in front of The Bronze. From outside it was a tasteless building,
> not worth mentioning, but The Bronze was a crown for the youth, a place for
> themselves where they could meet each other while listening to live music;
> some brilliant, some sucked.
> (...)
> He looked at her, silently, beastly.
You probably mean bestially.
> Then a soft, low mutilated laughter
> rose up from the depth of his stomach, rolled out his mouth filled with pain
> and sickness and hate - plenty of hate and anger.
> :p
Sounds interesting...totally different feel again. More novel-like, and
indeed, inner turmoil, character descriptions more than anything else.
Hmmmm...intriguing. Looks like a lot of fun! Good thing about all these
different styles of writing is that they're inspirational for the next
round. Wonder how the writing will change...
BTW, the order for the next round: same? Juggle it a little? New
entries? I'll start a new thread for it..
> (already on page 6)
Wow...fast, that. So I'm guessing we can expect it by the end of the
week (you don't need to finish it, remember? Looks like it's getting
longer and longer with every addition. Yay! ;o)
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Marc
> Marc wrote:
> > <knipperdeknip>
> > >
> > TEASER:
>
> Yay!
> > (...)
> > He looked at her, silently, beastly.
>
> You probably mean bestially.
:-p - * don't* get me started!
> > Then a soft, low mutilated laughter
> > rose up from the depth of his stomach, rolled out his mouth filled with
pain
> > and sickness and hate - plenty of hate and anger.
> > :p
>
> Sounds interesting...totally different feel again. More novel-like, and
> indeed, inner turmoil, character descriptions more than anything else.
> Hmmmm...intriguing. Looks like a lot of fun! Good thing about all these
> different styles of writing is that they're inspirational for the next
> round. Wonder how the writing will change...
>
<snip who's next in line of writing>
>
> > (already on page 6)
>
> Wow...fast, that. So I'm guessing we can expect it by the end of the
> week (you don't need to finish it, remember? Looks like it's getting
> longer and longer with every addition. Yay! ;o)
It might be sooner - but don't hold me on that! - it depends on the other
things I have to do on a normal day... but I think fast and write fast, -
but then again... half of the words don't make it... (something like that)
never counted them :s
And yes - it's written as a novel and I'm having a lot of fun writing it!
Marc
Mattia Valente
> > > <knipperdeknip>
> > > >
> > > TEASER:
> >
> > Yay!
> > > (...)
> > > He looked at her, silently, beastly.
> >
> > You probably mean bestially.
>
> :-p - * don't* get me started!
Hehe..just trying to help a littly ;-)
<SNIP teaser, comments, etc.>
> > Wow...fast, that. So I'm guessing we can expect it by the end of the
> > week (you don't need to finish it, remember? Looks like it's getting
> > longer and longer with every addition. Yay! ;o)
>
> It might be sooner - but don't hold me on that!
Doesn't matter...no pressure!
> - it depends on the other
> things I have to do on a normal day... but I think fast and write fast, -
> but then again... half of the words don't make it... (something like that)
> never counted them :s
Hehe...
> And yes - it's written as a novel and I'm having a lot of fun writing it!
I tried something more like that, but I couldn't get it to work for me.
Well, I could, sort of, but it was too forced, had to think too hard
about it. Especially for the kind of story I was trying to tell. I tend
to like writing internal dialogue, confilct, explicit characterization,
things like that, but it wasn't going as planned. I guess those LRTs
ruined me. That, and I keep seeing a TV show in my head ;-)
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Marc
> Marc wrote:
> > "Mattia Valente" <mae.v...@std.vu.nl> schreef in bericht
> > > Marc wrote:
> > > > <knipperdeknip>
> > And yes - it's written as a novel and I'm having a lot of fun writing
it!
>
> I tried something more like that, but I couldn't get it to work for me.
> Well, I could, sort of, but it was too forced, had to think too hard
> about it. Especially for the kind of story I was trying to tell. I tend
> to like writing internal dialogue, confilct, explicit characterization,
> things like that, but it wasn't going as planned. I guess those LRTs
> ruined me. That, and I keep seeing a TV show in my head ;-)
>
> Mattia
> ReplyMeister[tm]
The dialogue for me is tough to write - after all, the dialogue in BtvS is
excellent and I'm not *that* good to write razorssharp dialogue... Buffy-ism
is just too damn hard for me :(
(Perhaps I just don't really see humor in darkness - I'm a pessimist, and
making a smart remark when a vampire see's you as lunch is not my cup of
tea - but I'm trying really hard.)
But the characters themselves, how they think etc. - I understand that, at
least, I think I understand 'cause you never can get into someone's head :)
Marc
P@rick
> Sounds interesting...totally different feel again. More novel-like,
and
> indeed, inner turmoil, character descriptions more than anything else.
> Hmmmm...intriguing. Looks like a lot of fun! Good thing about all
these
> different styles of writing is that they're inspirational for the next
> round. Wonder how the writing will change...
Mine will definitely change. If I can make it work. I like your styles
better than mine. It's easier to read, more fluent. It's not hard to
guess which one of us seldom reads books.
> BTW, the order for the next round: same? Juggle it a little? New
> entries? I'll start a new thread for it.
No juggle I guess. There's only the four of us AFAICR, so not a lot of
room for juggling.
And oh yeah, Marc? Consider me teased!
Bye, Patrick
teased
Mattia Valente
> Mattia Valente wrote:
> > Sounds interesting...totally different feel again. More novel-like, and
> > indeed, inner turmoil, character descriptions more than anything else.
> > Hmmmm...intriguing. Looks like a lot of fun! Good thing about all these
> > different styles of writing is that they're inspirational for the next
> > round. Wonder how the writing will change...
>
> Mine will definitely change. If I can make it work. I like your styles
> better than mine. It's easier to read, more fluent. It's not hard to
> guess which one of us seldom reads books.
Hehe...mine doesn't really reflect much book reading. I don't think,
anyway. The personalities and motivations of the characters are almost
all implicit, hardly any expliocit characterization, 3rd person
omnicient kind of writing. Very basic, there. I'm relying on other's
knowledge of the characters and on their actions to define who they are.
The actions drive the story, with a little help from the dialogue.
Marc uses, as far I can tell on first glance, more elements like
introspection, going into people's minds. The descriptions set the scene
a lot more, it has a lot of 'texture', as I would call it. It's much
more novel-like while mine's a lightly dramatized TV script kind of
deal. I think. Opinions on that? Of course, I haven't read that much of
Marc's stuff yet, his last 'fanfic' project was an actual screenplay,
which is again different from all of this.
> > BTW, the order for the next round: same? Juggle it a little? New
> > entries? I'll start a new thread for it.
>
> No juggle I guess. There's only the four of us AFAICR, so not a lot of
> room for juggling.
So far, yes. But we've discovered Saskia can write, and I wouldn't mind
convincing Miriam to join in. I mean, at least one experienced fanfic
writer would be good. Of course, we might suck too much, or she's too
busy, or a number of other issues. So far, the order would be George, me
or you (since you're busy me?) then Marc to round it off.
> And oh yeah, Marc? Consider me teased!
Indeed. And impatient. This is looking interesting, if I do say so
myself. I wonder where it's going...
Mattia
StoryMeister[tm]
No Spoilers please!
Mattia Valente
> "Mattia Valente" <mae.v...@std.vu.nl> schreef in bericht
> news:3A642394...@std.vu.nl...
> > Marc wrote:
> > > "Mattia Valente" <mae.v...@std.vu.nl> schreef in bericht
> > > > Marc wrote:
> > > > > <knipperdeknip>
>
> > > And yes - it's written as a novel and I'm having a lot of fun writing it!
>
> > I tried something more like that, but I couldn't get it to work for me.
> > Well, I could, sort of, but it was too forced, had to think too hard
> > about it. Especially for the kind of story I was trying to tell. I tend
> > to like writing internal dialogue, confilct, explicit characterization,
> > things like that, but it wasn't going as planned. I guess those LRTs
> > ruined me. That, and I keep seeing a TV show in my head ;-)
>
> excellent and I'm not *that* good to write razorssharp dialogue... Buffy-ism
> is just too damn hard for me :(
Buffy-isms are a real pain in the ass to write. The best training is
watching a lot of eps and stuff. The comic bits were the ones that took
the most time to get feeling 'right', despite the fact that they're
pretty short and add little to the actual main plot, really. Xander is
pretty easy to write for, Willow a little harder, and Buffy, well, tough
one there. Giles has a dry sense of humor when he's being amusing, very
sarcastic, Angel is very rarely witty. Mostly dark and brooding. And now
in turmoil. Angelus is something else entirely.
I've recently watched all of S1 a few times, seen a bunch of the S2
classics (WML, not too long ago. And Passion and Becoming..) and the
whole of S4 which is rich in comedy, although the characters have
changed quite a bit by then. It all helps a little, but coming up with
stuff which isn't exactly what they've said before but keeping it good
is really hard.
> (Perhaps I just don't really see humor in darkness - I'm a pessimist, and
> making a smart remark when a vampire see's you as lunch is not my cup of
> tea - but I'm trying really hard.)
:o)
That kind of silly quippage is typical Buffy. It can be really really
cheesy and still work (the 'heartburn' pun in WaH, for example. Or
something like that.) In doomed, the "you were myth-taken" is a classic
Buffyism. Hilarious, yet simple.
> But the characters themselves, how they think etc. - I understand that, at
> least, I think I understand 'cause you never can get into someone's head :)
Riiiight...
;o)
It does make sense though, but I find that even harder to put into
words. I know exactly what I want to say, but getting it together so
that it all meshes just right, so that what I write refelects what I
think they feel, their motivations, is hard. Analyzing abstractly (a
while back, the whole dissection of Faith's motivations and reasons,
pre-your time, I think. Unless you were lurking..) is easy and fun, but
integrating is harder. Even the Flobotnum, which I wrote down
abstractly, isn't quite good enough for me. Doesn't flow correctly. And
that's 'just' Giles dialogue..
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Shouldn't there be a [meta-story] tag here or something?
Saskia
>"P@rick" wrote:
>> Mattia Valente wrote:
>> > BTW, the order for the next round: same? Juggle it a little? New
>> > entries? I'll start a new thread for it.
>>
>> No juggle I guess. There's only the four of us AFAICR, so not a lot of
>> room for juggling.
>
>So far, yes. But we've discovered Saskia can write, and I wouldn't mind
>convincing Miriam to join in.
Well... I think you can count me out. I'm way to Lazy for these
letterchain type story thingies. Having to pay attention to consistency
and remembering what everyone before me wrote... I'm usually even too
lazy to come up with little stories and I work better alone. But, when I
do finally find enough rest to do I enjoy it immensely. So I'm thinking
of taking my 'quiz story' and write some more adventures from there.
Just for fun.
>> And oh yeah, Marc? Consider me teased!
>
>Indeed. And impatient. This is looking interesting, if I do say so
>myself. I wonder where it's going...
Yup, Mee Three
--
Saskia
Story Mistress
Follower Of Spike
Mattia Valente
> Mattia Valente vertelde :
> >"P@rick" wrote:
> >> Mattia Valente wrote:
>
> >> > BTW, the order for the next round: same? Juggle it a little? New
> >> > entries? I'll start a new thread for it.
> >>
> >> No juggle I guess. There's only the four of us AFAICR, so not a lot of
> >> room for juggling.
> >
> >So far, yes. But we've discovered Saskia can write, and I wouldn't mind
> >convincing Miriam to join in.
>
> Well... I think you can count me out.
OK then...
> I'm way to Lazy for these
> letterchain type story thingies. Having to pay attention to consistency
> and remembering what everyone before me wrote...
Hehe...I actually think it gets easier as time goes on. A little. You
need to reread what others have written and keep it close at hand to do
it well though. I kept trying to make sure what happened was consistent
with George's thingy (had to be in the Park and all that..)
> I'm usually even too
> lazy to come up with little stories and I work better alone. But, when I
> do finally find enough rest to do I enjoy it immensely. So I'm thinking
> of taking my 'quiz story' and write some more adventures from there.
> Just for fun.
Ooo....nice. Post 'em hear, we wanna read 'em. Fun!
> Saskia
> Story Mistress
> Follower Of Spike
Hehehe...
Mattia
StoryMeister[tm]
Marc
> "P@rick" wrote:
> > Mattia Valente wrote:
> Marc uses, as far I can tell on first glance, more elements like
> introspection, going into people's minds. The descriptions set the scene
> a lot more, it has a lot of 'texture', as I would call it. It's much
> more novel-like while mine's a lightly dramatized TV script kind of
> deal. I think. Opinions on that? Of course, I haven't read that much of
> Marc's stuff yet, his last 'fanfic' project was an actual screenplay,
> which is again different from all of this.
I'll eleborate on that...a bit :o)
I write short stories -... never in English though, and usually non-SF - did
once compete in a storycontest of the NCSF - ended up in 16th place.. "could
have ended higher" was the conclusion of a juror "if you revised and edited
it once more"
Ah well - you know how I feel 'bout that.. :o)
The screenplay was more of a fun thing to do, I wanted to try it and I liked
it, but now I'll probably write a screenplay for a movie or something -
that's normal about a 120 pages long and the reason I want to try is because
three years back I wrote a play based upon the novella "Rage" from Stephen
King (Richard Bachman book) - it was great seeing it performed on stage, but
it wasn't really a play of mine, the idea came from the master...
It's all nightwork 'cause I still have these exams I have to learn and stamp
in my head...
<snip the order of round and an attempt to persuade Saskia and Miriam>
> > And oh yeah, Marc? Consider me teased!
> Indeed. And impatient. This is looking interesting, if I do say so
> myself. I wonder where it's going...
hmm - straight to hell I guess <evil laughter>
Marc
Mattia Valente
> > > Mattia Valente wrote:
> snipsnipsnip
> > Marc uses, as far I can tell on first glance, more elements like
> > introspection, going into people's minds. The descriptions set the scene
> > a lot more, it has a lot of 'texture', as I would call it. It's much
> > more novel-like while mine's a lightly dramatized TV script kind of
> > deal. I think. Opinions on that? Of course, I haven't read that much of
> > Marc's stuff yet, his last 'fanfic' project was an actual screenplay,
> > which is again different from all of this.
>
> I'll eleborate on that...a bit :o)
Yay! Insight is always good, explanations help me in my own writing,
because they make me think about what I'm actually doing.
> I write short stories -... never in English though, and usually non-SF - did
> once compete in a storycontest of the NCSF - ended up in 16th place.. "could
> have ended higher" was the conclusion of a juror "if you revised and edited
> it once more"
NCSF? Anyway, 16th isn't half bad, is it?
> Ah well - you know how I feel 'bout that.. :o)
:o)
Same way I feel. When I have a really important paper to write I tend to
do a rough write, and one complete rewrite. It's less work than actually
editing and stuff. Probably because I can type pretty damn fast.
> The screenplay was more of a fun thing to do, I wanted to try it and I liked
> it, but now I'll probably write a screenplay for a movie or something -
Kewl...I've never had any ideas that I've considered worthy of turning
into a serious story or anything of the like. The attractive part of
FanFic as that the characters exist, I know them well, I can work with
that. The hardest part (sort of) is over and done with..
> that's normal about a 120 pages long and the reason I want to try is because
> three years back I wrote a play based upon the novella "Rage" from Stephen
> King (Richard Bachman book) - it was great seeing it performed on stage, but
> it wasn't really a play of mine, the idea came from the master...
Cool! I've actually never read any King (or other horror) other than
Cujo. You're a real amateur professional writer person!
> It's all nightwork 'cause I still have these exams I have to learn and stamp
> in my head...
Hmmm..I'm getting a little more curious all the time. Could you tell us
a little more about yourself? What you're studying, how old you are,
hobbies (other than writing, painting (I seem to recall a big AH
painting thing. That was you right?), and the obvious..) things like
that. I know this stuff for most of the other regs (you know, user
profile pages on the webiste(s)) but not so much about you. I'm curious
by nature, I guess. Don't have to if you don't want to of course, but
still...
> <snip the order of round and an attempt to persuade Saskia and Miriam>
> > > And oh yeah, Marc? Consider me teased!
> > Indeed. And impatient. This is looking interesting, if I do say so
> > myself. I wonder where it's going...
>
> hmm - straight to hell I guess <evil laughter>
Ooooh........spooky!
;-)
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
http://bite.to/abe
P@rick
[great story]
Great story! I really like your style. And the Vampire Lore is well
summarized. All the basic ingredients are in there. Nice detail letting
Angel be influenced by the first. Guess he's out of the race, unless
Willow can cast some sort of soul strengthening spell (maybe she did, I
haven't read Marc's piece yet).
Bye, Patrick
P@rick
> Xander is pretty easy to write for
Ya think? It's harder than it appears. To do a really good job that is.
I've seen a lot of writers just give Xander some sniding or stupid
remarks that aren't even half funny. Remember that Xander produces most
of the funny quotes in BtVS.
Bye, Patrick
Mattia Valente
In that sense, yes. To write a really good Xanderism is a challenge,
I'll grant you that. Run of the mill amusing style dialogue, normal
speaking, is a little easier to handle. That's what I meant. Maybe its
just me...
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
Mattia Valente
> Mattia Valente wrote:
>
> [great story]
Thanks!
> Great story! I really like your style. And the Vampire Lore is well
> summarized. All the basic ingredients are in there.
Phew..that was the bit that was most worrying, but it seems like people
understood and appreciated it. Good.
> Nice detail letting
> Angel be influenced by the first. Guess he's out of the race, unless
> Willow can cast some sort of soul strengthening spell (maybe she did, I
> haven't read Marc's piece yet).
Well, I won't "spoil" you for Marc's section (Go read it. Very, very
different style, and really good. This story is getting most
intriguing...) but Angel is and isn't out of the race. That's all I'll
say..
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]
JOY:-)
I seem to recall it being spelled as Phlobotnum or something like that, as
related to phlogiston, the hypothetical substance of fire. I think.
JOY:-)
Mattia Valente
There isn't any closed captioning on the commentary track is...wait,
there is. In French. I'll go check right now. On the commentary Joss
said he had no clue what it meant of where it came from. I suggested
several ways of spelling it, most people liked it with and F, so I went
with it. Researching now...hmmm, the French subtitles say 'Flubotinum'
of all things..doesn't sound much like that. Anyone have David
Greenwalts email address? You know, go directly to the source...
Mattia
ReplyMeister[tm]