New Drag Queen Story - #27 - California!

[Ned]

Well, kiddies, this might be Dragned's last post to a.b.s.f.g.
(what with the shut-down of Google Groups etc.)

You know, California gets a lot of flak and not all of it is
justified. And most of what's new and interesting and eventually
gets shared by the rest of the country originates in California.

California is the cauldron and crucible for the nation. And do you
all know that California is named after a powerful, wealthy, beautiful
black lesbian warrior queen named Calafia?

Oh yes. We have a park and beach named after her, about half way
between L.A. and San Diego... https://tinyurl.com/CalafiaBeachPark
(it's the red dot on the right side of the blue part of the map on
the San Clemente sign you are standing in front of - zoom in), and
some very ritzy rooms in pricey San Francisco hotels depicting her
story. And here's a statue of her...
http://solarey.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Queen-Califia.jpg

So, kiddies, today I'm going to tell the story of California's big,
black, beautiful lesbian namesake...

CALAFIA

Once upon a time, a man wrote a book. The man lived in Spain,
500 years ago. And these are the words he wrote...

"Know ye that at the right hand of the Indies there is an island called
California, very close to that part of the Terrestrial Paradise, which
was inhabited by black women without a single man among them, and
they lived in the manner of Amazons. They were robust of body with
strong passionate hearts and great virtue. The island itself is one of
the wildest in the world on account of the bold and craggy rocks.
Their weapons were golden and so were the harnesses of the wild
beasts that they were accustomed to taming so that they could be
ridden, because there was no other metal in the island than gold."

Yes, an island of gold, filled with strong, passionate women! What's
not to like about this story so far?

The island of California was ruled by a great Queen, named Calafia.
She commanded an army of great women warriors, and a fleet of ships
with which she demanded tribute from surrounding lands, and an aerial
defense force of 500 griffins, fabulous terrifying animals which were
trained to kill any man they found.

Oh yes, definitely a good story so far!

One time in her journeying, Calafia met a Moslem warrior named
Radiaro. As they talked, and exchanged stories of the battles they
had fought, he implored her to join him in retaking Constantinople
from the Christians.

Calafia agreed, and led her armies to fight the Christians, though
she really had no concept of what it meant to be Moslem or Christian.
Arriving in Constantinople, she and her women warriors mounted their
fierce beasts, and she ordered her griffins to attack. The griffins
mauled the city's defenders.

Seeing this, Calafia told her Moslem allies to advance and take the
city. The griffins, however, could not tell Moslems from Christians;
they could only tell men from women. So the griffins began snatching
and killing Moslem soldiers. Calafia ordered her griffin trainers to
call them off, and the griffins returned to roost in the ships.

Monstrous, terrifying battles ensued, culminating with Radiaro and
Calafia fighting in single combat against King Amadis of Constantinople
and his son Esplandian. Unfortunately, both Calafia and Radiaro were
beaten by their opponents, and they surrendered.

While being held prisoner, Calafia learned about, and accepted, the
teachings of Christianity. She then married Talanque, a knight who
fought with her outside the city gate. Similarly, her sister Liota
married Maneli, Talanque's companion in arms.

Together, the women returned to California with their husbands, and
established a new dynasty complete with both sexes, as a Christian
nation.

Hmm... Well, you never know which way a story is going to break.

But the story of Calafia was so powerful and endearing to the nations
of Europe that when Fortun Ximenez, a lieutenant of Hernan Cortes,
sailed west from Mexico in 1534 and discovered a new land 200 miles
across the ocean, he believed it was an island.

Even when it was discovered in 1539 that this new land was a
peninsula, not an island, the power of the story of Calafia and the
island of gold filled with brave, passionate women was so strong
that the mapmakers of the world printed it as a peninsula for only a
few decades, and by 1622 they reverted back to showing it as an
island - the Island of California - and continued to show it as an
island for the next 100 years!

Here is a map from 1650, showing the Island of California...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Island_of_California#/media/File:California_island_Vinckeboons5.jpg

Aren't stories the most wonderful, powerful things?

And I hope you enjoyed today's story.

Dragned

P.S. This story has been added to https://tinyurl.com/DragQueenStory
as the 27th drag queen story.