Playing with Conundrums

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Carl G.

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Jan 19, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/19/00
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Some old conundrums.

Find the standard answer (usually based on a pun or joke), or invent one of
your own:

1. Why are government inquiries like shots out of a cannon?

2. Why is an orange like a church bell?

3. What would happen if a man choked to death on a teaspoon?

4. What is the difference between a cloud and a child receiving a spanking?

5. What is the difference between one yard and two yards?

6. Why is a dog catching his tail like a financial manager?

7. Why does a horse eat in an odd way?

8. Why is the letter "w" like a political scandal?

9. What do you have to keep in order to part with it?

10. Why is the letter "g" like 12 p.m.?

11. Why didn't Noah do any fishing off of the Ark?

12. If it loses an eye, only a nose is left. What is it?

13. What is the best way to do bookkeeping?

14. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?

15. Why is a weary traveler like a bicycle?

16. Why was King Darius worried when Daniel was in the lions den?

17. When the Egyptians chased Moses and the Hebrew people they encountered a
cloud of darkness. What did they do?

18. If one candle was 6 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter, and a second
candle was 3 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter, which would burn longer?

19. What was Joan of Arc made of?

20. What is the difference between a man who has no money and a feather
pillow?

Carl G.


Raf Aerts

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Jan 20, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/20/00
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"Carl G." wrote:

> Some old conundrums.
>
> Find the standard answer (usually based on a pun or joke), or invent one of
> your own:
>
> 1. Why are government inquiries like shots out of a cannon?

lots of smoke

>
>
> 2. Why is an orange like a church bell?
>
> 3. What would happen if a man choked to death on a teaspoon?
>
> 4. What is the difference between a cloud and a child receiving a spanking?
>
> 5. What is the difference between one yard and two yards?

one yard:)

>
>
> 6. Why is a dog catching his tail like a financial manager?
>
> 7. Why does a horse eat in an odd way?
>

horses /graze/ (5 letters)

>
> 8. Why is the letter "w" like a political scandal?

becuz it reminds me of Watergate

>
>
> 9. What do you have to keep in order to part with it?
>
> 10. Why is the letter "g" like 12 p.m.?

Becuz it reminds me of 'God, am i Glad i can Get out of my office!'

> 11. Why didn't Noah do any fishing off of the Ark?

Becuz all the remaining fish were in his fish tank

>
>
> 12. If it loses an eye, only a nose is left. What is it?

noise

>
>
> 13. What is the best way to do bookkeeping?
>
> 14. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
>
> 15. Why is a weary traveler like a bicycle?
>
> 16. Why was King Darius worried when Daniel was in the lions den?
>
> 17. When the Egyptians chased Moses and the Hebrew people they encountered a
> cloud of darkness. What did they do?
>
> 18. If one candle was 6 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter, and a second
> candle was 3 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter, which would burn longer?

If both are ignited at the same time, the 6 inches tall candle burns longer (it
burns and it is longer).

> 19. What was Joan of Arc made of?

about 90% water, like the rest of us:)

Jan Merolant

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Jan 20, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/20/00
to

Carl G. heeft geschreven in bericht
<865d0n$ugh$1...@nntp5.atl.mindspring.net>...

>Some old conundrums.
>
>Find the standard answer (usually based on a pun or joke), or invent one of
>your own:
>

spoilers
v


v

v


v


>1. Why are government inquiries like shots out of a cannon?

because they both lead to long reports.


>
>2. Why is an orange like a church bell?

They both need pealing


>3. What would happen if a man choked to death on a teaspoon?

He'd get the kiss of death (spoon = kiss)


>
>4. What is the difference between a cloud and a child receiving a spanking?

From the cloud rain falls like tears and from the child tears fall like
rain.

>5. What is the difference between one yard and two yards?

The diffence is : newts

>
>6. Why is a dog catching his tail like a financial manager?

They both run in circles to get the job done.


>
>7. Why does a horse eat in an odd way?

Because he loves oats.


>
>8. Why is the letter "w" like a political scandal?

both can be turned into another meaning.


>
>9. What do you have to keep in order to part with it?

Your hair


>
>10. Why is the letter "g" like 12 p.m.?

Because it's mid-niGht


>
>11. Why didn't Noah do any fishing off of the Ark?
>

>12. If it loses an eye, only a nose is left. What is it?

A noise


>
>13. What is the best way to do bookkeeping?

Creatively


>
>14. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
>
>15. Why is a weary traveler like a bicycle?

Because they're both tired


>
>16. Why was King Darius worried when Daniel was in the lions den?

If Daniel was in the lions then he would have been eaten.

>17. When the Egyptians chased Moses and the Hebrew people they encountered
a
>cloud of darkness. What did they do?
>
>18. If one candle was 6 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter, and a second
>candle was 3 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter, which would burn longer?

None, of them. They both get shorter.


>
>19. What was Joan of Arc made of?

Orleans


>
>20. What is the difference between a man who has no money and a feather
>pillow?

One is down outside, the other has down inside.

Jan

>
>Carl G.
>
>
>

il...@isgtec.com

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Jan 20, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/20/00
to
In article <8672u8$iah$2...@nereid.worldonline.nl>,

"Jan Merolant" <jan.me...@smallhand.com> wrote:
>
> Carl G. heeft geschreven in bericht
> <865d0n$ugh$1...@nntp5.atl.mindspring.net>...
> >Some old conundrums.
> >
> >Find the standard answer (usually based on a pun or joke), or invent
one of
> >your own:
> >
>
> spoilers

One more added

A jeweller sells watches; a jailer watches cells.

> >15. Why is a weary traveler like a bicycle?
> Because they're both tired
> >
> >16. Why was King Darius worried when Daniel was in the lions den?
> If Daniel was in the lions then he would have been eaten.
>
> >17. When the Egyptians chased Moses and the Hebrew people they
encountered
> a
> >cloud of darkness. What did they do?
> >
> >18. If one candle was 6 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter, and a
second
> >candle was 3 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter, which would burn
longer?
> None, of them. They both get shorter.
> >
> >19. What was Joan of Arc made of?
> Orleans
> >
> >20. What is the difference between a man who has no money and a
feather
> >pillow?
> One is down outside, the other has down inside.

__/\__
\ /
__/\\ //\__ Ilan Mayer
\ /
/__ __\ Toronto, Canada
/__ __\
||


Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

Bixente

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Jan 20, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/20/00
to

Carl G. <cgi...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:865d0n$ugh$1...@nntp5.atl.mindspring.net...

> Some old conundrums.
>
> Find the standard answer (usually based on a pun or joke),
or invent one of
> your own:
>
> 1. Why are government inquiries like shots out of a
cannon?
lots of smoke, lots of noise and they rarely hit the mark

> 2. Why is an orange like a church bell?
>
they both peel

> 3. What would happen if a man choked to death on a
teaspoon?
>

> 4. What is the difference between a cloud and a child
receiving a spanking?
>

pours with rain and roars with pain


> 5. What is the difference between one yard and two yards?
>

one yard


> 6. Why is a dog catching his tail like a financial
manager?
>

> 7. Why does a horse eat in an odd way?
>

> 8. Why is the letter "w" like a political scandal?
>

because

> 9. What do you have to keep in order to part with it?
>

> 10. Why is the letter "g" like 12 p.m.?
>

> 11. Why didn't Noah do any fishing off of the Ark?
>

i dont know - surely the fish just remained in the water (or
am I showng my ignorance of hte bible)

> 12. If it loses an eye, only a nose is left. What is it?
>

noise
> 13. What is the best way to do bookkeeping?
>

> 14. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
>

> 15. Why is a weary traveler like a bicycle?
>

> 16. Why was King Darius worried when Daniel was in the
lions den?
>

> 17. When the Egyptians chased Moses and the Hebrew people
they encountered a
> cloud of darkness. What did they do?
>
> 18. If one candle was 6 inches tall and 1 inch in
diameter, and a second
> candle was 3 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter, which
would burn longer?
>

> 19. What was Joan of Arc made of?
>

joan of arc was maid of orleans

> 20. What is the difference between a man who has no money
and a feather
> pillow?
>

> Carl G.
>
>
>

Jan Merolant

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Jan 21, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/21/00
to

>> Carl G. heeft geschreven in bericht
>> <865d0n$ugh$1...@nntp5.atl.mindspring.net>...
>> >Some old conundrums.
>> >Find the standard answer (usually based on a pun or joke), or invent
>one of your own:


spoilers
I invented a lot as you suggested, but I would
like to see your standard answers, Carl


>

>


>

One more added

>> >1. Why are government inquiries like shots out of a cannon?

>> because they both lead to long reports.
>> >

>> >2. Why is an orange like a church bell?

>> They both need pealing


>>
>> >3. What would happen if a man choked to death on a teaspoon?

>> He'd get the kiss of death (spoon = kiss)
>> >

>> >4. What is the difference between a cloud and a child receiving a
>spanking?
>>

>> From the cloud rain falls like tears and from the child tears fall
>like
>> rain.
>>

>> >5. What is the difference between one yard and two yards?

>> The diffence is : newts


>>
>> >
>> >6. Why is a dog catching his tail like a financial manager?

>> They both run in circles to get the job done.
>> >

>> >7. Why does a horse eat in an odd way?

>> Because he loves oats.


>> >
>> >8. Why is the letter "w" like a political scandal?

>> both can be turned into another meaning.
>> >

>> >9. What do you have to keep in order to part with it?

>> Your hair


>> >
>> >10. Why is the letter "g" like 12 p.m.?

>> Because it's mid-niGht


>> >
>> >11. Why didn't Noah do any fishing off of the Ark?

Because he had only two worms, and he needed them both alive.
or
He could not go off of the ark, because the ark was the only dry "land".


>> >12. If it loses an eye, only a nose is left. What is it?

>> A noise


>> >
>> >13. What is the best way to do bookkeeping?

>> Creatively


>> >
>> >14. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
>

>A jeweller sells watches; a jailer watches cells.
>

>> >15. Why is a weary traveler like a bicycle?

>> Because they're both tired
>> >

>> >16. Why was King Darius worried when Daniel was in the lions den?

>> If Daniel was in the lions then he would have been eaten.
>>

>> >17. When the Egyptians chased Moses and the Hebrew people they
>encountered a cloud of darkness. What did they do?
>> >
>> >18. If one candle was 6 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter, and a
>second candle was 3 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter, which would burn
>longer?

>> None, of them. They both get shorter.
>> >

>> >19. What was Joan of Arc made of?

>> Orleans


>> >
>> >20. What is the difference between a man who has no money and a
>feather pillow?

>> One is down outside, the other has down inside.

Jan

Carl G.

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Jan 21, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/21/00
to
Most of the answers have been given. The "standard answers" are given
below.


Carl G. wrote in message <865d0n$ugh$1...@nntp5.atl.mindspring.net>...


>Some old conundrums.
>
>Find the standard answer (usually based on a pun or joke), or invent one of
>your own:
>

>1. Why are government inquiries like shots out of a cannon?

>2. Why is an orange like a church bell?

>3. What would happen if a man choked to death on a teaspoon?

>4. What is the difference between a cloud and a child receiving a spanking?

>5. What is the difference between one yard and two yards?

>6. Why is a dog catching his tail like a financial manager?

>7. Why does a horse eat in an odd way?

>8. Why is the letter "w" like a political scandal?

>9. What do you have to keep in order to part with it?

>10. Why is the letter "g" like 12 p.m.?

>11. Why didn't Noah do any fishing off of the Ark?

>12. If it loses an eye, only a nose is left. What is it?

>13. What is the best way to do bookkeeping?

>14. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?

>15. Why is a weary traveler like a bicycle?

>16. Why was King Darius worried when Daniel was in the lions den?

>17. When the Egyptians chased Moses and the Hebrew people they encountered
a
>cloud of darkness. What did they do?
>18. If one candle was 6 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter, and a second
>candle was 3 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter, which would burn longer?

>19. What was Joan of Arc made of?

>20. What is the difference between a man who has no money and a feather
>pillow?

>Carl G.


Spoilers
.
.
.


Spoilers
.
.
.


Spoilers
.
.
.


Spoilers
.
.
.

Spoilers
.
.
.

1. Why are government inquiries like shots out of a cannon?

They both make big reports.

2. Why is an orange like a church bell?

Because you can usually get a peel (peal) from it.

3. What would happen if a man choked to death on a teaspoon?

He wouldn't be able to stir.

4. What is the difference between a cloud and a child receiving a spanking?

One pours with rain and the other roars with pain.

5. What is the difference between one yard and two yards?

Usually a fence.

6. Why is a dog catching his tail like a financial manager?

He tries to make ends meet.

7. Why does a horse eat in an odd way?

He eats best when there isn't a bit in his mouth.

8. Why is the letter "w" like a political scandal?

It makes ill-will.

9. What do you have to keep in order to part with it?

A comb (or your hair).

10. Why is the letter "g" like 12 p.m.?

It is in the middle of the night.

11. Why didn't Noah do any fishing off of the Ark?

He only had two worms.

12. If it loses an eye, only a nose is left. What is it?

Noise.

13. What is the best way to do bookkeeping?

Don't lend any.

14. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?

One sells watches and the other watches cells.

15. Why is a weary traveler like a bicycle?

They are both two (too) tired.

16. Why was King Darius worried when Daniel was in the lion's den?
He didn't want the lions eating up all the prophets.

17. When the Egyptians chased Moses and the Hebrew people they encountered a
cloud of darkness. What did they do?

They turned on the Israelites.

18. If one candle was 6 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter, and a second
candle was 3 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter, which would burn longer?

Neither, they both burn shorter.

19. What was Joan of Arc made of?

Maid of Orleans.

20. What is the difference between a man who has no money and a feather
pillow?

The first is hard up and the second is soft down.

Carl G.

Carl G.

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Jan 21, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/21/00
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Philip O'Brien wrote in message ...
>In article <86aaoc$dti$1...@nntp1.atl.mindspring.net>,
>cgi...@mindspring.com says...

>> 10. Why is the letter "g" like 12 p.m.?
>> It is in the middle of the night.
>>
>>
>erm...last time I checked 12pm (aka midDAY) was during the DAY. R U
>sure U don't mean 12 A.M (midNIGHT) ?

You have a good point. I copied the question from a book that contained a
list of old conundrums and I didn't think about the ambiguity of whether
midnight is a.m. or p.m. The ambiguity is normally resolved by saying 12
noon and 12 midnight (or by using military time). Perhaps the answer should
have been:

It is found in the middle of ambiguity.

Carl G.


Philip O'Brien

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Jan 22, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/22/00
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Rich Grise

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Jan 22, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/22/00
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I got two! (#2, 18)
(spoiler space)

Carl G. wrote:
>
> 2. Why is an orange like a church bell?

an orange has a peel, and a bell has a peal!

>
>
> 18. If one candle was 6 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter, and a second
> candle was 3 inches tall and 2 inches in diameter, which would burn longer?
>

Neither candle will burn longer - both would burn shorter. :-)

>
> Carl G.

Cheers!
Rich

Philip O'Brien

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Jan 22, 2000, 3:00:00 AM1/22/00
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In article <86bjs3$kcd$1...@nntp4.atl.mindspring.net>,
cgi...@mindspring.com says...

>
> Philip O'Brien wrote in message ...
> You have a good point. I copied the question from a book that contained a
> list of old conundrums and I didn't think about the ambiguity of whether
> midnight is a.m. or p.m. The ambiguity is normally resolved by saying 12
> noon and 12 midnight (or by using military time). Perhaps the answer should
> have been:
>
> It is found in the middle of ambiguity.
>
> Carl G.
>
>
>


I can live with that answer. :)

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