fucking blank pages give me the shits
pirate jenny(witchdoctor)
+++
stay
fuckin sit ya mungrel
stupid diary
smokin a cone
+++
laurie anderson
'sharkeys night'
+++
i had to get some new net access
so i can filch th code
to insert th song titles as they begin playing
using a media player control and a visual basic program
here's hoping
anyway
that's my excuse
+++
groove armada
'my friend'
+++
had to reboot XP
th modem hasnt been attached in two months
+++
can i get th song titles by querying media player ?
"dunno, anything's possible"
hi paulie
+++
fucking blank pages give me the shits
i have to shit all over it
"cause it's there"
+++
reading a book called
the director
by
henry denker
about th making of a movie called mustang
funny
was readin it over lunch
th day i started it
th other day
and little brother comes in
with a new dvd
all about mustangs
cars that is
+++
i went to th tip
paint leakin out of th back of th trailer
slung behind little brothers range rover
slung some sand in th back edge of th trailer
slowed it somewhat
ya fuckin mug
"and a lazy cunt"
+++
River Phoenix & Johnny Depp
'I Save Cigarette Butts'
+++
i was thinkin
anythin much happened to me ?
last two months
+++
khia (remix)
'my neck my back'(lick my pussy)
+++
well i didnt get laid
+++
kevin bloody wilson
'the festival of life'
+++
hmm
+++
its in th lyrics
+++
<<< smile >>>
+++
a few weeks back
i finally made it over th
far wall of th skatebowl
over th top combing
made it down and
rode back up
and over it
cool as
a couple of ppl
oohed and ahhed
when i told em about it
but as usual
no-one's much interested
+++
still unicyclin and
singin on street corners
down th fortitude valey
late at night on th weekends
still tryin to give it up
+++
spoke to morticia yesterday
head witch of th gold coast
been a little while
we still twist each other
sorry babe
+++
last friday night
got a young copper irate
was unicyclin on th footpath
mid evening
in th rain
in a raincoat
sharkfin wizard hat and
a really really small red light
here in th radio officer
see its facin th front
<<< smile >>>
+++
pj harvey
'the dancer'
+++
i was dancin thru th ppl traffic
+++
he came ridin fast like a phoenix- lyric(first words of th song)
+++
and bumped two ppl right in front of im
he had to stop me
"ya young pig cunt"
no i can hear ya
just
i got my own interpretation
i'm a pedestrian
th unicycle is my wheelchair
got a little testicle problem
so
there's new pigs
in th city
brisbane city
a new intake of young coppers
eager to open their mouths
won that one mate
<<< smile >>>
+++
let me go
they always do
+++
hmm
put himself in it
is a law that on a bicycle
must keep hands on handlebars
dont have any
cant comply with bicycle laws
stupid law
a unicycle is a bicycle
go and get fucked
+++
radiohead
'creep'(acapella)
+++
every new intake of cops
i get one
eediot
+++
had a bite at im
friday night
where are you guys
when they tackle me
while i'm ridin in a foot and half deep
in th surf
surfing on my unicycle
+++
not that i can get there
to th big beach that is
+++
hadnt realised
how much it cuts me up
if its th last thing
i'm yellin at th mug cop
as he walks away
doesnt wanna play anymore
+++
oh yeah
umm
surfers paradise got clobbered
weekend just gone
a mini cyclone they say
lost a bit of beachsand hey ?
+++
bjork
'play dead'
+++
north and south coast
lost half their beach sand
"some worse, some better"
anyway its a real pisser
+++
"they truck some more in"
"and rebuild th beaches"
+++
least their dams are full now
we didnt get much in that last lot
+++
"was water restrictions there"
"when we played there jen"
and we played last couple of years in brizzy
and now
we two months off
level three water restrictions
still hovering on one third full
+++
sent a message to morticia
friday night
goin unicyclin in th drains
if i get washed out to sea
i'll say gday as i go past
+++
was mosssy again in th drains
been a while
bulk wheelspin on th unicycle
i did much smiling friday night
+++
stealers wheel
'stuck in the middle with you'
+++
we got like
75 mill
three inches of rain
th grass is green
th dam got
four fifths of fuck all
+++
on a new keyboard
dropped th bong in th last one
sent a message to purple
when's th next computer market on ?
i shagged another keyboard
she doesnt answer
thirty minutes later
she knocks on th door
two keyboards in her arms
hmm
+++
thanks babe
+++
3 months to go on th program
they're gunna recommend i get a pension
morticia
qualified counsellour says i'm a shoo in
she works for em
+++
massive attack
'protection'
+++
we both think i gunna have a good time
with th psychiatrists they put me thru
+++
which personality will i walk thru th door with paulie ?
"shutup jennie"
+++
told emerald
i didnt think jade
would show for that meeting with that guy
she didnt
not 100 percent sure
i know what i'm doing
+++
spent last thursday afternooon with emerald
and a mad redhead
not seriously mad
"not even a real redhead"
+++
does yoga and
not far off teaching yoga
+++
course i was sittin cross legged on th couch
with emerald
changed sex a few times
there on that couch
+++
so
yur ex girlfriend has
broken up with her girlfriend
and yur boyfriend is feelin insecure
he knows
you seein her almost daily
+++
did you see er yesterday ?
"yes"
what about today ?
"no"
"umm, not yet"
"<<< smile >>>"
+++
i said three weeks
you'd dump im
and go back to er
our mutual lady friend who got busted recently
gave it longer than that
oh so its just gone three weeks
i havent been counting
+++
m2m
'dont say you love me'
+++
look in yur heart babe
+++
ok emerald
i found a blank cd
you just gave me
music from th panel
last years
4 non blondes hey
i can dig that
i'll pirate ya some
+++
good charlotte
'change'
+++
brucie
yelled at me to cut my hair
i told him to get fucked
he smiled
+++
its fully wild
well below th shoulders now
curly still
"solid frizz"
natural
+++
black fella hair
+++
th width is over a foot now
a great big tangled ball
th knots drive me nuts
dont bother paulie at all
+++
"hair collecting in th corners of th room"
+++
queen
'bohemian rhapsody'
+++
<<<smile >>>
+++
drumming
me on th big drum
a small
petite negroid black girl
on th smaller one
on th corner down
in the fortitude valley
th other night
sorry i
didnt engage you verbally
kept pulling away
happy to play drums with you
nice rhythms and
happy time
but i go home alone and
yur a girl
and you too engaging
+++
"marry him nickie"
"get jenny off my back"
+++
it wont last
"so care factor it"
+++
th rooves have rails now
on my black job
man's gotta pay for his pot somehow
+++
tatu
'all the things you said'
+++
hate wiping down pool fence rails
th dirt from th roof sticks like crazy
+++
i musnt get too complacent
they'll throw me on another hairy fucker
soon enough
+++
i chopped off a bus
no purple yur hubbie hasnt told me off
"he's a bus driver"
i dont play in th city
durin th day
much
+++
city high
'caramel'
+++
sad
nice aboriginal lady on th telly
last night
four hours on a bus seat
she'd had a stroke
whether they saw a
drunk aboriginal woman slumped on th bus seat or
i dunno
but
was tourists
japanese tourists
so i heard
saw her slumped there and
investigated and
sought help
fuck
+++
yeah john howard
no racism here mate
+++
bitched at jess friday night
we was groovin
centre mall
they danced more
before we added rock spiders drum
when i was just harmonizing with th guitar
missed you man
fuck
i went home ten thirty pm last week
jewel
'sometimes it be that way'
i bitched
th kiwis
cause jess is a maori kiwi("i think")
all stop
and throw in his hat
i'm not in it
on th basis he's a kiwi
"yeah but it doesnt happen at home paulie"
dig it man
but
they're in oz
they dont even say hi to me
half black boy
sittin cross legged on my unicycle towel
singin in th background
+++
no fuckin respect
dont even say hi to th local witchdoctor
let alone ask if ya can be here
+++
jess has just come back from kiwi land
new zealand
he saw mika there
+++
i spread rumours
they dont let kiwi residents back in
if'n they got drugs convictions
+++
kylie minogue
'i feel for you'
+++
scuse i
partaking drugs :
.
.
.
last two chicks i fucked
were both kiwis
+++
why'd i tell emerald last week
i dropped th pair of em
when , with two girlfriends
th sex went under once in two days
and then yur redheaded mate
rang and
hey can i cum over ?
+++
i had to change dealers
+++
i did try to warn er
[deleted]
+++
pirate jenny
'wheel tail monkey'
+++
that's me
+++
time for a coffee...
+++
preset studio keepers
'come together'(hallen)
+++
fed th cats
and th dogs
havent written for two months
just writin words
+++
"he got early warning"
always
+++
no man
i got no
steel hangin out tyre on th car
i told ya
i bought a newie for fifty last week
second hand joint back of th watchmakers
+++
limp bizkit
'rollin'(uncensored)
+++
he dint remember
no-one ever listens when i talk
+++
over sized tyre on th bitch unicycle
is nearly worn down already
gettin bald in th middle
many miles on th wheel
+++
one guy rode her friday night
fair
one chick said she could ride
she couldnt
she had a lot of fun tryin
boyfriend holdin er up
i enjoyed it
"and so did they"
+++
violent femmes
'waiting for the bus'
+++
"you wanna see this chick again tomorrow ?"
dunno
+++
take it as it cums
+++
"u already arranged coffee with emerald tomorrow 3 pm"
+++
i gotta go anyway paulie
"yeah but ya coulda gone today"
+++
skyhooks
'livin in th seventies'
+++
its her day off from her kid
lessee if she wants to continue th discussion
+++
"<<< smile >>>"
+++
you sure u wanna introduce me to im morticia ?
ya dint sound too confident
+++
"she bit his head off last week"
"she knows she's shittin in it"
so i got good timing to call
we have an arrangement
+++
good charlotte
'the motivation proclamation'
+++
she been my girlfriend
three or four times paulie
my weekend girlfriend down th coast
"the edge of the island"
ok man
the edge of the island
it kept her single
and me
"three years on and off"
+++
next woman i go to fuck
dont tell her anything about me
"its my care factor dear"
+++
start as ya mean to go on ?
"you got it"
+++
my last girlfriend i dumped
when th sex went under one day in two
i can do it again
+++
city high
'song for you'
+++
"its a losing proposition "
"when it goes under fifty fifty"
no-one marries for sex paulie
+++
how many more girls i gunna treat unkindly ?
+++
"none if yur honest"
crap
+++
bungin a hairtie in
its still boofie hair weather
+++
humid as
+++
jess got on this
twelve bar blues
thru th pig amp
i pulled out lyrics
not great lyrics but
was about land surfin on one wheel and
somethin i feel
th blues grabs ya
and jumps out of yur mouth
i wasnt expecting it
+++
massive attack
'protection'
+++
i'm still here
+++
nice coffee
stay
+++
when i jumped over th front wall of th skatebowl
on morticia's last birthday
little brother said
yeah but who saw it ?
who cares
not what its about
did it for
me
+++
only vehicle anwhere
ya cant ride anywhere
without hearin comment
ride by on a bicycle
they say nothing
same for roller blades
ride by on a mono cycle
single wheel
groovin
they open their mouths
and th same shit
always drops out
from so many
many
fucking mouths
a new mp3 player
soon
"again"
i keep wreckin em
surf killed th last one
<<< smile >>>
+++
these are th chronicles of
the land surfer
regardless of which character closes th page
+++
k handed me a fitty this morning
+++
do ya dig it's surfin yet k ?
+++
about balance and
ridin th wave where it takes ya
lost and stoned on a unicycle
at one am
in th red light district
+++
shakespears sister
'you're history'(voodoo mix)
+++
thanks
but um
been called a legend so many times i
no longer bothered by it
+++
course
another guy called me a king
friday night
+++
got th raincoat off round nine pm and
eventually got down th valley
started in th city
groovin thru th bus stops
was fun as
coupel of nice songs thru th dinky little radio and
rode th uni thru a coupel sidewalk cafes and
thru a restaurant
and down th city mall i cant ride thru
and in th traffic
ppl and cars and
buses and taxis
some guy yellin at me
i aint gunna live long
"i only been doin it five years"
"which is cool as"
"from my bike ridin days"
"ridin jap multis"
"if y survive yur first five years"
"your survival chances go up"
"better odds"
"<<< smile >>>"
"still havent broken a bone on th unicycle"
"must be nineteen years now"
+++
tried jumpin on one traffic island and
wet paint
a painted bit
ah well
ya gotta try
+++
landed on my feet
not as good as
that stack on th tiles
down near th wintergarden
in front of th japanese tourists
huge slide and
nother huge slide and
down i go
in thongs
jandals
flip flops
in th rain
in a raincoat
on wet tiles
landed on my feet and
slid to a stop
"bad unicycle"
+++
kevin bloody wilson
'arr fuck'(the instruamental)
+++
big fuckin smile
+++
and i keep tellin you
when i put a light on th unicycle i smash em to bits
+++
"i seem to remember a certain"
"dynamo light setup we had on th modified half bicycle unicycle"
shutup you
+++
fuck she's seen some sunsets
but still on th back seat of th car
still ridable
just needs oil and
air in th tyre
+++
speakin of modified unicycles
my nephew has wogged th
forks off his old pushie
and said we can have th
suspension bicycle frame
to cobble up a new unicycle
"there's only way we'll find out if we can mig that frame"
"we're gunna have to modify it babe"
manufacture bits you mean
"i want a triangulated swinging arm suspension system"
ridin a leading link front end
i dig it
"with adjustable trail"
?
"ya move yur body backwards and forwards"
<<<smile >>>
+++
"gotta get really stoned and stare at th fucker for a while"
not today then
+++
one and a half buds left
+++
bobby mcferrin
'dont worry be happy'
+++
fuck yeah
is good enough for tonight
and my order in with my dealer for tomorrow
good as
+++
i'll just smoke that half bud
"here, hang on"
+++
dont worry be happy
+++
gotta love ya and leave ya
the simpsons is about to start
know i've seen it
this episode
many times before
but its something to make dinner in front of
time to cremate th kitchen
anythin we find afterwards bigger than a pea
we eat
.
.
.
budgie
'Napoleon Bona- Part One / Napoleon Bona- Part Two'
+++
ya jumped on th
bicycle frame
with back wheel still in
happy with angles ?
"wont really know till we chop off th headset and"
"strip th frame"
a little bit lighter than it is now yur sayin?
when th unicycle is fully built
gotta do it man
"big fuckin tail"
ride it like a pushie
+++
cake
'going the distance'
+++
"mobility will go down"
deftly manouver he just sang
+++
trick unicycle all th same
we just extend that seat pole and
chop off th unwanted bits
"give it a sexchange"
it's a boys bike already
"no it FUCKING WELL ISNT"
+++
still think better tail heavy than front heavy ?
"easier to wheelie"
+++
th shock works
i checked
+++
jumped up on th half bicycle and
+++
poleposition
'track 01'
+++
hmm
bit heavier than th bongos on a carry rack but
we could ride it
+++
th hub on th blue unicycle
is better than th one on th yellow unicycle
"both fucked by beach sand"
proof of concept paulie
rough and ready
just how you like it
+++
"well ya can ride half a bicycle frame"
"with a unicycle hub mounted where th wheel normally goes"
it'll bolt straight in
minimal modification
that unicycle wheel is already in half a bicycle frame
"yeah but th wheel rim is rusted out"
"died under deano's weight"
was already dead
"th rim is a 36 hole 24 inch"
+++
cake
'i will survive'
+++
sacrifice th
mountain bike wheel
we flog th rim
"means a respoke job"
so
we done that before
look cunt
i aint makin it a 26 ok
hmmm
+++
"how much room it got in th swing arm to grow a tyre ?"
+++
like th current unicycle
spread yur legs bitch
i'm givin ya bigger rubber
+++
"here have a cone"
.
.
.
"be better to offset that weight behind a bigger wheel"
like th 27 in th car ?
"yeah"
+++
we gunna do another
changin unicycles
and costumes
nights
th boys dont notice when ya change costume
"well mostly"
+++
"fuck all that"
"how does it jump traffic islands ?"
+++
and will it bee controllable enough
to take thru a crowd
+++
"care factor"
"NO BRAKES"
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'road trippin'
+++
they move
+++
prefer to pass by
unannounced
"mostly"
+++
this woman th other night
jumped for th post and
hung on for dear life
did i scare you dear ?
+++
th current ride
is a 24 inch
standard unicycle
with an oversize tyre
"slides better"
+++
turns fast
+++
"beats th cabs off th lights"
+++
good all round
"not in th surf"
+++
27 inch
skinny tyre aired down to
bout 12 lb and
dead low tide
trust me
+++
"a coker"
give over with th 36
we'll never own one
+++
perfect surf tool
"you'll make ppl cry"
so
+++
machine gun fellatio
'pussy town'
+++
my unicycle drips on my passenger seat
+++
you can use it if ya drip on it
+++
otherwise fuck off
+++
?
'outro to th the panel theme'
+++
moby
'porcelain'
+++
little brother knocked on my door
one morn
at five am
need ya today bro
sorry dude
four days without pot and
th testicle pain is not good man
havent slept
had a bad pain night
and found that afternoon
visitin my dealer
so i could go to work
that waynie's missus was deliverin their child
durin th night
+++
sometimes it sucks bein th witchdoctor
+++
but mostly it doesnt
+++
shakespears sister
'you're history'(voodoo mix)
+++
waynie's like
my brother
we spend half of xmas day together
+++
yur sister barbie girl
seein how th other half live
+++
kuta way pissed
+++
one of th kuta ladies got busted
+++
took her mobile and
kept it for a bit
have fun readin my messages man
<<< smile >>>
the lethal kadaitcha man of KUTA
+++
sharkie's not much bothered by th intrusion
been bugged by th pigs before now
+++
"it's too early to go pirating"
it'll happen
+++
pig baiting is a lifestyle
not a hobby
+++
pink floyd
'dogs'
+++
release the hounds
+++
"welease the pigdogs"
+++
take that ya pig cunt
+++
used to trap wild pigs or
hunt em down with th dogs and
fatten em up
worm em
and then give em th chop
+++
nuthin shrieks like a stuck pig
+++
th old man
"stepfather"
does it matter ?
"no"
mad yugoslav
liked to kill em with a knife
i preferred lead injection
but it fucks th head
injecting lead with a big gun so
ya slit it;s throat instead
goin on a spit
and ask th local coppers if they wanna come to a pig on a spit
<<< smile >>>
big cunt too mate
heaps of food for everybody
big fat cunt
just like you
+++
th black news said
they were japanese students
+++
they're having investigations
"oh that'll be a lot of help"
+++
scuse i
.
.
.
they said it was last week paulie
+++
"has guillard got th stones to be pm ?"
she'll have to be a ballbreaking bitch to do it
"jennifer"
+++
"had tufts stickin outta th side of her head"
+++
fuckin redheads
+++
lee had a baby boy
no paulie
never havin any more kids
had four already
yeah right
+++
i was well wrong
on th prediction for
lil sis's kid
but first time i used that date and a prediction
was for th stock market
th guy was a keen
stock market follower
purple tells me
they caught some guy on that date
had a fuckin big dip th day before
good enough for me
+++
but did ya write th date in yur diary man ?
did ya listen ?
+++
least it wasnt in text
and on th net
cause that's a crock
+++
anything is possible
+++
"i am not making th 27 wheel fit th suspension frame"
+++
famous last words
+++
U2
'with or without you'
+++
dont have to extend th seatpost as much
+++
"and th weight be up higher"
always balance
have to lose something by changing th original design
gunna be an oddlooking beast
but th suspension will work markie
had a trial fit
+++
gunna be cantilevered to fuck
"still connected directly to th wheel"
+++
havent swung a tail on a unicycle for a while
"so it must be time to try it again"
something liek that
+++
blow your freaking minds
+++
travis
'why does it always rain on me'
+++
cause yur a pessimistic cunt
+++
'maybe because th witchdoctor thinks yur a cunt"
+++
hey paul
+++
why is paulie peter ?
'dad would pat im on th head and call him peter"
'when he was a good boy"
peter paul and jennifer
+++
U2
'the unforgettable fire'
+++
'still stuck in puberty"
+++
44 this month
still go out till dawn
+++
if th music making is flying
+++
ya wont beat michael
keep me singin till dawn
+++
on a streetcorner
anywhere
+++
i'm shitty at ya dom
gone to melbourne
dan before you
left th street to go
melbourne
he came back
one day you will too
+++
huge voice
and so harmonius
+++
ride yur fuckin unicycle
i'll stop bein shitty at ya
look at yur gut
+++
at 45
will some cunt walk up and ask
pls strip for us
and do i need that
+++
i bought facepaints again but
do i want that attention again ?
ppl touch
+++
?
'i get a kick out of you'
+++
painted up as th clown
yur not real
not seen as a person
everybody wants to beat up th clown
+++
powderfinger
'since you've been gone'
+++
look up
infinite resources
look down
finite resources
choose
+++
do re mi
'man overboard'
+++
sorry about that
+++
a few heads on pikes will make everybody choose
wisely
+++
so you think
dear lady
its a good thing i
asked my god
to wipe out th islamic terrorist cunts
and th next day
northern pakistan fell over
awful lot of ppl died
its a copout to say i dont feel partially responsible
+++
budgie
'breadfan'
+++
fuck th little magic
i'm intersted in th big shit
+++
dont comment
i dont read it
i think what i think
not what you think
+++
background singer of my tribe
if i'm doin my job properly man
ya dont hear me at all
+++
i leave my permanent memory
on th internet
too many decades i
party hard and play hard and i
remember little
+++
oh
six double vodka ice's and
th unicycle bounces off walls and posts
just nicely thank you
double black
nice drink
+++
robin ford
'prison of love'
+++
paul's showed up
he must want that code
"well he wrote a skeleton program to throw it all in"
system wide hotkeys ?
"you got it"
volume up and down
next song
previous song
and
paste th name of th song when it starts playin
into my diary automatically if i click on that button
so we gunna hack media player paulie ?
"hang on a tick"
.
.
.
that spy utility wont give you child windows paulie
no finder tool
"you wanna nick it from th window ?"
clicked on that window and it sent a get text message
"hmm"
"query th window directly ?"
+++
scribe
'not many'(remix)
+++
we download th
media player control documentation
and fiddle
+++
i want my random number generator
not media players paulie
+++
"song information problems"
this prog take us back into audio recognition i think
nearly got enough code to
draw pictures
"its all just pretty pictures"
+++
DINNERTIME
+++
kevin bloody wilson
'that fucking cat's back'
+++
timing
just walked back in th door
+++
well diary
i want some
programming code and
th methods properties etc
of what i'm inteterested in and
my fave porn sites have hopefully got some new content
oh and
emerald wants
four non blondes
dont we all sweetie
hopefully mute but
+++
right
anythin over 120 kg
goes on th fatapult
and we toss th cunt out past th shark nets
of th fuckin beaches
+++
dont want australia littered with fat cunts
+++
throw em overboard
+++
real shame about yur beaches man
just brings tears to my eyes
.
.
.
i ejaculate
therefore i am
.
.
.
pirate jenny(witchdoctor)
sebastiaan
Barnabas
pirate jenny(witchdoctor) wrote:
> fucking blank pages give me the shits
instead of someone of the opposite sex...