The Parenting Shelf
Belonging Matters
Julie Ryan McGue
Muse Literary
https://museliterary.com
9781958714812, $25.99 Hardcover/$15.99 Paper/$5.99 ebook
https://www.amazon.com/Belonging-Matters-Conversations-Adoption-Kinship/dp/195871481X
Why should readers not directly involved with adoption consider picking up Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship? Because its subject is ultimately about the methods of bonding and connection that are created not just by adoption, but by the ideal of family closeness. This notion should be expanded upon and embraced in more than one way, fostered by the concepts touched upon in Belonging Matters.
From the mechanics of open and closed adoption opportunities and issues raised by locating a birth mother to advice to adoptive parents facing difficult questions (and answers) about creating kinship, Belonging Matters addresses all kinds of connection conundrums and issues that begin with adoption, but the book also expands outward into different kinds of family relationships.
Author Julie Ryan McGue packs her discussion with case history examples of adopted children, parents, birth parents, and her own experiences as she involved her adoptive parents in her search. These varied examples serve as touchstones of information and insight with all kinds of perspectives about the process of creating and maintaining bonds of kinship.
Candid revelations about this process illustrate how adoptive parents react in different ways: "While my adoptive parents did not issue any ultimatums, they did not offer me any assistance beyond handing over my adoption papers. When my birth mom denied my request for contact, my adoptive mother said, "That's unfortunate. I was looking forward to meeting her." At the time, I appreciated her show of support. It felt genuine."
Readers coming from personal experiences with adoption will find plenty of insights into all manner of psychological experiences on all sides; but it's those interested in how family bonds are actually maintained, the differences between blood and adoptive relationships, and the choices adoptive children and parents face at all stages of family bonding who receive especially thought-provoking and useful insights. These will attract and educate anyone interested in the foundations of strong family relationships, whatever their wellsprings of origin.
As adoptees (and the author) share reunion experiences here, readers receive many disparate insights into the emotional complexities of family connections.
Libraries and readers interested in a combination of memoir and insights on adoption and family will welcome the opportunity to discuss many of the contentions and experiences outlined in Belonging Matters. It can serve as a communication point for adoptees, adoptive families, birth parents, and anyone interested in the intersection of family bonds and love.
Practical Parallel Parenting
R. Shelly Loomus, JD, MSW
RoseDog Books
https://rosedogbookstore.com
9798888123904, $17.00, PB, 170pp
https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Parallel-Parenting/dp/B0CBNJW5M8
Synopsis: Divorced and separated parents are told they must co-parent. Yet millions of parents face daily battles with their children's other parent. The conflict is real and so is the threat of losing custody. There is also the ongoing fear that the other parent will succeed in alienating their children. When your relationship with your children is at risk, how can you let go?
With the publication of "Practical Parallel Parenting: Reclaiming Your Life from Co-Parent Conflict", R. Shelly Loomus, JD, MSW, provides a comprehensive guide for managing post-divorce, child-related, conflict. Loomus addresses the daily battles parents face outside court and outlines pathways for disengaging and moving forward.
These issues include: The true nature of the conflict; Why the court system fails you; How to reframe your narrative; How to respond to the most common problems facing co-parents without getting into another fight; How to help your children develop skills to navigate their relationship with their combative parent.
For several decades, Loomus has combined her skills as an attorney, clinical social worker, and family mediator to help parents manage their divorce and post-divorce related conflicts. Loomus works with clients in real time, strategizing with them to effectively respond and resolve co-parent conflicts.
Critique: Simply stated, for anyone who is struggling with chronic co-parent conflict, "Practical Parallel Parenting: Reclaiming Your Life from Co-Parent Conflict" is essential and invaluable reading as they will. learn how from a seasoned and successful expert on the subject of co-parenting to free yourself and move on with your life -- and above all, to the benefit of the children of divorce. While unreservedly recommended for personal, professional, community, and college/university library Parenting & Child Rearing collections, it should be noted that "Practical Parallel Parenting" is also readily available in a digital book format (Kindle, $7.00).
Editorial Note: Rachel Shelly Loomus, JD, MSW, is an author, speaker, educator, and coach. She recently published Winning Your High-Conflict Divorce: Strategies for Moms and Dads, providing parents with step-by-step strategies for managing divorce related conflicts both in and out of the courtroom. A seasoned attorney with skills in clinical social work and mediation, Loomus' practice focuses on counseling parents on practical ways to contain their divorce and post-divorce conflicts while reducing the stress and expense of litigation. Loomus facilitates monthly parallel parenting seminars, speaks regularly in the metro Detroit area on the topic of containing divorce conflict, and teaches law at Henry Ford College.
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