ABML FAQ, Part 1: The Newsgroup (no changes)

[Megan]

alt.books.m-lackey FAQ, Part 1

This is part 1 of the Mercedes Lackey FAQ, covering topics
specific to alt.books.m-lackey. Part 2 covers topics specific
to Mercedes Lackey. Both are posted monthly to
alt.books.m-lackey.

Contents of Part 1:

1. Proper Behavior On alt.books.m-lackey (Acceptable Use Policy)
a. Spoiler Warnings
b. The PG-Rating
c. The Mad, Galloping Topic Drift
d. Flames
e. Cross-Posting
f. SPAM
g. Trolls

2. Geography
a. The Ogre, Elf, Imp and Urchin
b. The Forest
c. The Library
d. The Hall of Memories
e. All the rest

3. In Jokes and ABML Cultural Tidbits
a. Copper's POINT Game
b. The Spelling of Innosent
c. The Trial of Fluffy
d. Firesong
e. Puns
f. Personas
g. Flying Food
h. The Literality Cloud
i. Salv9
j. The DSPCABML and the Brute Squad
k. The Kinkies
l. Pedantry
m. Gods and Goddesses
n. *Bob*
o. The F's
p. The ABML Out of Practice Band (ABMLOOPB)
q. The ABML No Can Sing Choir (ABMLNCSC)
r. Bruce (not that one, the other one) and feeted pajamas
s. Storytime
t. The Bookwurm and Bookwyrm

4. Anything Else?

1. Proper Behavior On alt.books.m-lackey (Acceptable Use Policy)

Welcome!

As you may have observed, ABML is a free for all. Everyone is
encouraged to participate or lurk, whichever you prefer or have
time for. Beware the 4 F's: Fluffy, Firesong, 'Fiend and
Flying Food.

We begin with the necessary evil, the general rules or
traditions on this group (fun stuff is further down):

a. Spoiler Warnings, and the appropriate page or two of
spoiler space, are strongly encouraged for the first year
or two after a particular book is published.

There are two reasons why the use of spoiler warnings is
encouraged. 1) Because not everyone can afford to buy their
books in hardback. 2) Because ML's books are published in the
U.S. first, members of ABML who live in other parts of the
world do not have easy access to them, and often have to wait
a year or more to get them in their own countries.

So, in the interests of our many members who do not have easy
access to all of Misty's books or can not afford to buy the
hardback version, it is group tradition that we insert spoiler
warnings and spoiler space when making reference to books
still in hardback or less than a year old.

b. We try to maintain a PG-Rating on postings to our newsgroup.
Usenet is wide open to people of all ages and cultural
backgrounds, and we would like as many of those people as
possible to feel comfortable and safe in our little corner of
the 'Net.

(History note: This used to be a G-Rating, but we kept having
to lock the poor dear in a padded cell with some Barney videos
to calm it down. Eventually, in early spring of 2000, it
mutated.)

c. Beware Mad Galloping Topic Drift. We try to rename threads as
they change topics but it doesn't always work. So remember that
the title of a message may not always relate to its content.

d. Our newsgroup is proud to say that we have been successful at
maintaining a Flame Free zone on Usenet. Disagreement will
arise, but as mature people, we prefer to settle our
differences intelligently.

e. We discourage the use of cross-posting, and will report
cross-postings that are not truly relevant to all the newsgroups
posted to, or messages that are cross-posted to more than three
newsgroups. We regret having to do this, but long experience
has shown that most cross-posted messages are SPAM or from
trolls.

f. SPAM, whether advertisement or hate, is not allowed on
alt.books.m-lackey. Anyone spamming alt.books.m-lackey
should expect to receive letters of disapproval to their account
and a copy of the errant text sent to their system administrator
or ISP.

A working but not complete definition of SPAM - Any unsolicited
advertisement posted to one or more newsgroups without the prior
permission of the groups in question.

g. Trolls. We explicitly mention trolls because they persist
in believing we welcome their attentions. We do not.
Generally, troll postings are easily identified by their
tone, which is usually either hateful or argumentative,
and frequently can be classified as SPAM. As with SPAMmers,
we will report trolls to their system administrator or ISP.

Other than these, just about anything goes. Please remember,
at the other end of any post is a human being.

2. Geography

a. The Ogre, Elf, Imp and Urchin

Tavern and general hang-out, food fight, meet 'n' greet place
located somewhere in ABML. Go <------> thataway and you'll
find it. Run by the Ogre (Tristaan) and the Elf (Amethyst).
The Imp (Charis) and Urchin (Natalia) are their daughters.
They serve authoroholic drinks; the Misty/Pterry mixer
is particularly popular.

A more complete description is at
http://www.cs.csustan.edu/~mthomas/abml/ogreelfbar.txt

b. The Forest

Forms a large portion of the ABML landscape. The Forest is
abode and domain of Lord Gyre, the Forest Lord.

c. The Library

Contains, of course, all the books ever written. (Whether or
not you can locate the book you want is the catch,
though the orangutan librarians do _try_ to organize it.)
Bookwurm is the Librarian.

d. The Hall of Memories

A Hall full of rooms, exhibits, etc, to commemorate whatever
the members of ABML wished commemorated.

e. All the Rest

We also have hot tubs (water or hot chocolate, your choice),
a non-denominational chapel just off the Ogre, Elf, Imp and
Urchin, a meditation garden, a huge number of old party sites...

3. In Jokes and ABML Cultural Tidbits

a. Copper's POINT Game
From Beldin:
"Beldin stands and starts to speak, "Well .... Errr ....
That is .... Ummm ... See, it's like this. When someone
posts a comment .... no, we'll do this the other way round.
When someone reads a comment which they find particularly
amusing, ( and normally after the coffee / coke / sprite
etc has been cleaned off of the monitor ), they award a
POINT !!! to the person who posted the message. Anyone can
award a point. Anyone can receive a point < even Trolls
and Politicians ;) >. The first person to reach 21 ( why
21? - I don't know! ) is deemed to have won the game.
Occasionally the winner of a game will elect to receive
negative points in the following game, so that they can't
win twice in a row, but still can be rewarded for their
comments. There, clear as mud < G >."

Vicki adds that 21 is usually the winning number because
that was what she used when she ran the first POINT game.

Scorekeeper (the job rotates around among ABML members) keeps
count of how many POINTs everyone earns. Scorekeeper has
jurisdiction over the fine points of the game (which is to
say, everything), including when it starts and ends and
at what point total, what POINTs are valid, whether duplicate
POINTs for the same post all count, etc.

Shortly after November 17, 2001, what had been simply
The POINT Game was renamed Copper's POINT Game in order
to honor Copper Squirrel. Copper Squirrel (Charles
Martel) was a steady member of ABML for many years,
notorious for posting jokes and puns, as Copper and
occasionally as Copper's Evil Twin, Skippy the Brass
Squirrel. He thereby won many POINT games. He died
on November 17, 2001. Extra-special, extra-good,
extra-funny posts can earn a "COPPER"/"COPPER POINT"
instead of a regular point. It is, as always, at the
Scorekeeper's discretion to determine how, or if, COPPER
POINTs count differently from normal POINTs.

b. The Spelling of Innosent
The word that that means the opposite of guilty is never
spelled correctly on ABML. It's just against the rules.
(See The Trial of Fluffy for more information.) We aren't
innerook, and we don't want to be corrupted by it...

Virtually any spelling of that word is acceptable, as long
as it is not the original, correct, spelling. Common
variations include: innosent, innoskant, innosook, etc etc etc.

c. The Trial of Fluffy
Sometime in 1997, Captain Silkfur McFluffy was put on trial.
It was a famous trial.

Simon, who was a member of ABML at the time, said,
"The accused, one Captain S. McFluffy, was mainly charged with
being a Male Chauvinist Pig, and biting Kyrrha's tail.

I don't think we actually ever *held* the trial as such, we
just spent a long time preparing for it, and inventing
'creative' punishments. One of the preparations was, of
course, selecting a jury. It was established early in the
proceedings, and heartily endorsed by the accused, that no
person capable of spelling the i-word was eligible for jury duty.

The continuing reluctance toward spelling *that* word correctly
is presumably explained by people's unwillingness to disqualify
themselves should the trial ever resume."

d. Firesong
It has been reported - by Firesong, quite frequently -
that we are all figments of Firesong's imagination.

It has also been reported that his voice can melt socks. Test
this on yours by going to http://www.firesong.demon.co.uk/
and clicking on "My Diary", then "Message of the Moment".

e. Puns
We like 'em. We indulge in long threads full of excessively bad
ones. Beware. (Or, join in and see if you can do any worse.)

f. Personas
Misty does not publish as frequently as she used to, and we use
various means to pass the time between books, since the regulars
have pretty much hashed out their own opinions on all her works.
Some of us build personas. Dragons and wizards and ogres and
rabbits and... Everything and anything, not necessarily - or
even usually - from M. Lackey's books. You are welcome to
create one, too. Or not, as you choose.

g. Flying Food
It doesn't actually fly, you know. It's usually launched.
Launch back, if you like. (Or run and hide.) Over the years,
a wide variety of exotic weaponry has evolved during food fights;
I am not brave enough to attempt to catalogue it all. If
someone refers to something that sounds like it might be
vaguely useful in a food fight, that's probably where it
came from.

h. The Literality Cloud
Sometime in summer of 1999, it was noted that
statements made in the vicinity of Woof, an ABML member, tended
to have unintended side effects. There appears to be a magical
cloud surrounding her, which interprets any statements made in
its vicinity rather literally... beware, beware, lest ye be
smacked upside the head by it. Or drowned in drink. Or...

i. Salv9
Sometime during the winter of 1999-2000, a character going by a
pseudonym easily shortened to Salv9 posted a number of highly
anti-Semitic and misinformed essays to many newsgroups,
including ABML. A number of our members took pleasure in point
by point rebuttals of his essays and his responses to their
rebuttals. He is long gone. However, his memory has lingered
in the form of various Salv9 toys that get thrown around in food
fights and such. They first sprang into existance during his
second visit to ABML. Captain Fluffy, like a cat at a
mousehole, is still waiting for him to visit again...

Saying a particular poster is like Salv9 is a quick way to
identify that poster as a troll or spammer of a particularly
vicious kind. (If one is looking for a technical rule to use in
reporting the troll to an ISP, such people almost universally
violate the no-flames ABML rule.)

j. The DSPCABML and the Brute Squad. (contributed by Simon)

The Divine Society for the Protection and Care of ABML-ers was
instituted to assist any ABML-er in the struggle against the
dreaded Real Life Monster in cases where the traditional Whacks
With A Tightly Rolled Newspaper don't do the trick. Given the
abundance of Gods of This, That and the Other in ABML, it was
felt that soliciting the patronage of mere royals would be,
well, slumming. Founder, chairman and treasurer of the
DSPCABML'ers was Simon, whose contribution consisted mainly of
some Policy Announcements, long term endurance testing of the
Official Office Couch; its enforcement arm is the Community
Relations Department, better known as the Brute Squad,
headed by Tristaan.

k. The Kinkies
At some point in the tumultuous history of ABML, the kinkies
were born. I believe that chocolate and hot tubs were
involved. They are small and fuzzy, very fast, and they are
very, very interested in the human activity which we do not
talk about too explicitly lest we offend the PG-Rating. They
swarm after anyone who so much as hints that they are talking
about It. Very curious beings, kinkies are. Unless you speak
rashly, and consequently drown in living tide of curious
kinkies, they are fairly harmless. Mostly.

l. Pedantry
From Bookworm, Queen of Pedants:
"Pedantry: Any grammar/spelling/etc. corrections are required to
be submitted by licens/ced pedants. (There are a few officially
*unlicens/ced* pedants, but they are hunted down, unless their
unofficial legal counsel submits the appropriate forms.) Pedant
licens/ces (of various types) are issued by the Bureau of
Pedantry, the operating hours of which are *clearly* posted on
the official bulletin board. The Bureau has an official window
where forms are provided, reviewed for accuracy and completeness,
and validated for periods of time to be determined by the
appropriate authorities. (The window can be easily identified by
the queue of dusty applicants.) Or not, at the whim of the
Queen of Pedants."

m. Gods and Goddesses (contributed by Woof)

Many members of ABML have adopted titles of "God" or "Goddess"
of various functions, including, but not limited to, the various
seasons, the Kinkies, Chocococococolate, Libraries, Cheesecake,
etc. For a semi-complete list of almost-current titles, see
http://www.cs.csustan.edu/~mthomas/abml/godlist.txt

n. *Bob* (contributed by *Bob*... with Tristaan acting as medium)

*Yeah, can't forget about me. I'm a poltergeist who was
originally introduced by Jenwon. I love to tinker with gadgets
(especially blenders) and cats make a nice snack... did I say
that? Anyways, when Jenwon, due to strong pressures from the
RL beastie, had to leave, I found my niche with Tristaan. He's
got GREAT gadgets.*

(Jenwon's contribution)
"Hmmm...*Bob*'s history is rather odd...he actually originated at
a radio-controlled car race track where my family used to race
every weekend. Everytime something went wrong during a race, I
would joke that it was my poltergeist Bob acting up again. It
was inevitable that *Bob* would come to ABML with me, especially
since I always needed help with my teenage escapades in ABML.
<whisper> I also needed someone to help get around Mummy Az's
restrictions on sharp objects."

o. The F's

The number of F's one needs to beware has varied. Flying Food
remains fairly constant, but others come and go. At various
times, newcomers have been warned about FiX, Fluffster,
Firesong, 'Fiend...

p. The ABML Out of Practice Band (ABMLOOPB)

Some members of ABML are remarkably talented in musical
matters, and our patroness is a noted lyricist in filk
circles.

For the rest of us, there is the ABMLOOPB. If, once
upon a time, you knew how to play, yet now you
only make instruments weep, ABMLOOPB is for you.
(Not weep in a good way. Weep in despair, weep in
dismay, weep in horror.) If your eyes light up at
the sight of the instrument you once learned,
yet your friends unaccountably conspire to keep you
(far, far, FAR) away from it, ABMLOOPB is for you.
If, when you haul your old instrument out for a
reunion, the local cats caterwaul and the dogs dive
under the bed, ABMLOOPB is for you!

Some of ABML's musicians, delighted to join a band, any
band, and neglecting to read the fine print for ABMLOOPB,
joined the ABMLOOPB before realizing they were not
qualified because they can actually play their instruments.
Not a problem! Musicians need simply pick an instrument
they always meant to learn. For those with true musical
talent, we recommend something with lots of strings or
holes, found only in remote corners of far-off lands.
Or giving the instrument to the local nursery school for
"tuning" before ABMLOOPB practice.

q. The ABML No Can Sing Choir (ABMLNCSC)

The loyal accompaniment to the ABMLOOPB is the ABMLNCSC,
a choir for those who always wanted to join a choir, but
whose choirmasters inexplicably contracted the flu before
each audition.

If, when you begin to sing, your family gives you money
to stop, your friends pass you strong drinks and your
children beg your spouse to to gag you, ABMLNCSC may
be for you. If people threaten to cancel birthday
parties unless you promise not to join in the pre-cake
song, and radio volume knobs swoop clockwise when you
open your mouth, ABMLNCSC may be for you. If you
frequently hear the old line, "sing solo, sing so low we
can't hear you", ABMLNCSC may be for you. If dogs howl
and neighborhood cats prowl amorously by when you sing,
ABMLNCSC may be for you.

(The FAQ Keeper thanks those members of the ABMLNCSC who
contributed personal anecdotes to put in this description.
Names have been removed to protect the guilty.)

r. Bruce (not that one, the other one) and feeted pajamas:

ABML Welcome messages frequently mention Bruce (not
that one, the other one), who will generously collect
whatever shreds of sanity the newcomer may still have
(however small!) and knit a nice set of feeted pajamas out
of them. Bruce frequently styles himself an oldster
in the corner, gathering dust. He comes and goes from
ABML, but his knitted pajamas are here to stay.
Feeted pajamas are worn for Storytimes.

The "that one" in parantheses is Bruce the snowcat.
An entirely different Bruce. When here, he's
more visible since he's large, and a snowcat. Smart
beings never fail to note the presence of anything
with many claws and teeth. Bruce the snowcat
is not to be confused with Bruce the kind knitter
of feeted pajamas.

s. Storytime

On happy and fortunate occasions for ABML assembled, someone
holds a Storytime. ABMLers gather around, wearing their
feeted pajamas (see "Bruce and feeted pajamas"), and clutching
whatever items of cozy comfort they prefer. (Popcorn,
cocoa and stuffed animals frequently appear.) There is a
special area in the OEI&U dedicated to Storytimes, equipped
with seating for the wide variety of ABML denizens.

Storytime posts tend to be longer than usual, and contain
the tale of... something. A vacation, a bit of fiction, an
interesting incident that happened occurred on the way to
school today, the tale of the time great-uncle Mort met a
muskrat in a mud puddle... a story.

t. Bookwyrm and The Bookwurm

In case you're wondering, yes, they are two separate women.
Not to be confused with each other, or referred to by the
other one's name.

As The Bookwurm says:
"She's she and I'm me and that's pretty much it."

But Bookwyrm expands with:
"Well.....
Bookwyrm lives in Minnesota, is the senior 'wyrm and does
*not* spell her name with The. The Bookwurm lives in
Washington state, is the junior 'wurm and *does* spell her
name with The. That just about covers it. They have
absolutely *no* problem telling each other apart!"

4. Anything Else That You Can Think Of?

Think something else should be here?

Let me know.