Resumes
Edna
as reported by Fortune magazine
I have lurnt WordPerfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheat progroms
Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave.
Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
It's best for employers that I not work with people.
Let's meet, so you can "ooh" and "aah" over my experience.
You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in
meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping." I have never
quit a job.
Marital status: often. Children: various.
Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to
work by
8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
Finished eighth in my class of ten.
---|)------------------------------------------------------
---|---- Edna Huelsenbeck ---------------------------------
--/|---- ehuelsen@earthlinkDOTnet -------------------------
-| |')-----------------------------------------------------
--\|/------------------------------------------------------
|
'
m...@no.more.spam.cs.berkeley.edu
> =: LINES FROM ACTUAL RESUMES :=
> as reported by Fortune magazine
Interestingly, someone once emailed a resume to X
with a virus embedded in the resume.
They were applying for a computer sysadmin job. Main duty to
be installing firewalls and otherwise cracker/virus proofing
a network.
S/he didn't get the job. <g>
Megan
Pointkeeper o' the Moment
Keeper of the FAQ: http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~mct/abml/
Acolyte to the God of Grilled-SPAM
Joe Morris
>Interestingly, someone once emailed a resume to X
>with a virus embedded in the resume.
>They were applying for a computer sysadmin job. Main duty to
>be installing firewalls and otherwise cracker/virus proofing
>a network.
>S/he didn't get the job. <g>
Our HR office is the biggest source of virus hits from our antivirus
protections...and has been for a long time. Far too many candidates
for jobs show that they don't practice safe computing at home...
Joe Morris
m...@no.more.spam.cs.berkeley.edu
> m...@no.more.spam.cs.berkeley.edu writes:
Applicants for jobs in administrative support or management
can be forgiven for not knowing enough about computer viruses.
(Forgiven and firmly educated.)
But a person applying for a computer sysadmin job focussed on
computer security? A job in one of the top four computer science
departments in the USA? (What, they think we won't notice the
virus?)
Joe Morris
>Joe Morris scribbled:
>> m...@no.more.spam.cs.berkeley.edu writes:
>>>Interestingly, someone once emailed a resume to X
>>>with a virus embedded in the resume.
>>>They were applying for a computer sysadmin job. Main duty to
>>>be installing firewalls and otherwise cracker/virus proofing
>>>a network.
>>>S/he didn't get the job. <g>
>> Our HR office is the biggest source of virus hits from our antivirus
>> protections...and has been for a long time. Far too many candidates
>> for jobs show that they don't practice safe computing at home...
>Applicants for jobs in administrative support or management
>can be forgiven for not knowing enough about computer viruses.
>(Forgiven and firmly educated.)
>But a person applying for a computer sysadmin job focussed on
>computer security? A job in one of the top four computer science
>departments in the USA? (What, they think we won't notice the
>virus?)
We're one level beyond that: some of our people *write* the
standards for security.
Have you ever read one of the Microsoft security bulletins? Every
one of them contains one or more links into one of the systems
we run, which contains a dictionary of common vulnerabilities and
exposures ("CVE"). It's at http<COLON>//cve<DOT>mitre<DOT>org (the
string is hacked to avoid unnecessary indexing to this posting).
Joe Morris
m...@no.more.spam.cs.berkeley.edu
> m...@no.more.spam.cs.berkeley.edu writes:
>>Joe Morris scribbled:
>>> m...@no.more.spam.cs.berkeley.edu writes:
>>>>Interestingly, someone once emailed a resume to X
>>>>with a virus embedded in the resume.
>>>>They were applying for a computer sysadmin job. Main duty to
>>>>be installing firewalls and otherwise cracker/virus proofing
>>>>a network.
>>>>S/he didn't get the job. <g>
>>> Our HR office is the biggest source of virus hits from our antivirus
>>> protections...and has been for a long time. Far too many candidates
>>> for jobs show that they don't practice safe computing at home...
>>Applicants for jobs in administrative support or management
>>can be forgiven for not knowing enough about computer viruses.
>>(Forgiven and firmly educated.)
>>But a person applying for a computer sysadmin job focussed on
>>computer security? A job in one of the top four computer science
>>departments in the USA? (What, they think we won't notice the
>>virus?)
> We're one level beyond that: some of our people *write* the
> standards for security.
Ah. I thought you just meant HR in general - applications for
janitorial staff and cafeteria short-order chefs included.
Now, if the folks applying for the technical posts include
viruses in their resume... (Bad techie, bad techie. No job.)
> Have you ever read one of the Microsoft security bulletins? Every
> one of them contains one or more links into one of the systems
> we run, which contains a dictionary of common vulnerabilities and
> exposures ("CVE"). It's at http<COLON>//cve<DOT>mitre<DOT>org (the
> string is hacked to avoid unnecessary indexing to this posting).
Hmmmm. <Adds www site to personal list of useful security info
sources.>
No, I haven't read any Microsoft security bulletins. Done an
ultra-fast skim of a few, of course. But I'm at a user level
when it comes to computer security; I make sure _someone_ is
paying attention, and do my bit with the virus-checking, but
nothing more.
(I have spent, in past years, far more time dealing with countering
virus hoaxes than actual viruses, but I think I have my friends
and family educated on that issue, finally.)
Megan, whose resume is kept in Postscript format. No viruses.
John F Davis
says...
>
> We're one level beyond that: some of our people *write* the
> standards for security.
>
Well could you please write in one more protocol
"When the hacker is identified... HACK TO BITS!"
--
John F Davis in Delightful Detroit wa8yxm at arrl dot com
"Nothing adds excitement like something that is none of your business"
Joe Morris
>Megan, whose resume is kept in Postscript format. No viruses.
Um...may I point out that PostScript is a programming language, and
that it can in fact be used for malicious purposes? Admittedly,
some of the more dramatic possibilities would be hardware-specific,
(for example, code to do nasty things to fonts on the printer's
hard disk won't do much damage on printers without a hard disk)
but page defacement or DoS hacks could be in the file.
And yes, I'll concede that it's unlikely for a PS file to be infected,
but it isn't impossible.
Joe Morris
m...@no.more.spam.cs.berkeley.edu
Ok, caveat. It's in Postscript I generated. From source I
wrote. While it is theoretically possible I could hack a virus
in myself, I'd be quite irate if someone put one in
without my knowledge.
I suppose someone could hack Gnu software to automatically
dope Postscript files with viruses. It's more likely they'd
go the Windows route to do that, though, and I don't use
any Windows software when prepping my resume. (Painful enough
process already, thanks.)
Megan