That 50K from Facebook? It Ain't Coming Anytime Soon. Send Money To A Mooch Instead!

[Davey Zimmerman #274]

I'm still trying to reconcile JOHN HENRY DEJONG being his own man and
yet having to mooch from everyone else but maybe that's just me.

Holy fuck, what a piece of shit.

"Y'all, I love you and I'm working, but *I need money now.* Food other
than reheated breakfast burritos the roommate spares from the garbage
bin at her work."

Nice to see someone is working to bring in food. You might not expect it
to be someone with a terminal diagnosis rather than JOHN HENRY DEJONG.
But here we are.

"Something to drink other than water."

See how JOHN HENRY DEJONG suffers? Can't even be bothered to make enough
to purchase tea bags and a little sugar. Why don't you get that poor
lady supporting you who's dying to steal a bunch of that from the hotel?
I'd say that's pretty on brand for JOHN HENRY DEJONG.

So let's see what JOHN HENRY DEJONG needs others to provide for him:

"Bills paid. Tools purchased. Computer upgraded. LONG list of stuff.
I'm working on making that list prettier and more accessible and all
that stuff, but right now? PLEASE. HELP. Link list in the comments."

TRANSLATION: Never mind him working for any of this, here's what he
wants from you.

Well, let's be fair...John *worked* on the list. Make it happen! Just
remember he'll be grateful in words, just don't expect any actionable
gratitude. After all, you can't buy JOHN HENRY DEJONG if JOHN HENRY
DEJONG IS NOT FOR SALE!

PAYPAL JOHN HENRY DEJONG NOW! Jeez, you seriously can't expect him to
invest in himself when there's a bong that needs to be filled and you
have money he can mooch.

"Y'all don't understand how hard it is to stay focused when all I can
think about is barely having anything and watching that break and wear
out helplessly as I'm unable to replace it. Sorry if I sound
frustrated. I am, but don't take it personally. I know I'm not the
only one struggling, and I know the nature of my work is going to
largely appeal to people who are also struggling."

TRANSLATION: JOHN HENRY DEJONG hasn't gotten anyone with sufficient
money to swindle since Beth Aultman.

"But if you're fortunate enough to have it to spare, I could use it and
it'll be put to good work one way or the other."

You poor bastards who struggle to make a living should empathize with
JOHN HENRY DEJONG because he's just as broke as you. Never mind that
that everyone else is trying and that JOHN HENRY DEJONG is a wallet and
purse remora and a remorseless deadbeat. you have to overlook the
obvious and send money.

[Taro Tsujimoto]

On 30Jul2023, Davey Zimmerman #274 wrote:

> So let's see what JOHN HENRY DEJONG needs others to provide for him:
>
> "Bills paid. Tools purchased. Computer upgraded. LONG list of stuff.
> I'm working on making that list prettier and more accessible and all
> that stuff, but right now? PLEASE. HELP. Link list in the comments."
>
> TRANSLATION: Never mind him working for any of this, here's what he
> wants from you.

He won’t tell you that his $3k in funds from the “I’m gonna die on the
street!” mooch fest weren’t all accounted for, and he most likely already
bought a new computer so he could put Ubuntu 18.04 on the old one and sock up
as “Liz Bentley” and a few other IDs.

[]v[etaphoid]

After all their years of kinship, it’s disappointing that master puppeteer,
Chadlee Bryant, never bothered to teach JHD how to hide in plain sight…