Review: Rosa Venus Beauty Soap

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David Lynch

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Feb 24, 1996, 3:00:00 AM2/24/96
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I recently obtained a bar of Rosa Venus Beauty Soap, thanks to the noble
efforts of Kevan Smith. Unlike most soaps nowadays, Rosa Venus is
individually wrapped in wax paper, and is available at a price of only 25
cents a bar. That's one hell of a bargain in my book! I think all soap
manufacturers should package their soaps just like Rosa Venus. Well, not
exactly like Rosa Venus (the artistic designs should be different, for
instance), but close enough that I could purchase most bars of soap for
under 50 cents.

The packaging that I hold so dear consists of a folded piece of stiff wax
paper that conforms to the shape of the bar of soap and a slightly
plasticized outer wrapping that neatly enshrouds the soap and the wax paper.
The plasticized nature of the outer wrapper reminds me of pricy Russel
Stevens candies, like a pecan roll or a deluxe chocolate bar with almonds.
This is a bit of a juxtaposition, as Russel Stevens candies are fairly
expensive and Rosa Venus is the most affordable soap I've encountered in a
long while. Also, Russel Stevens candy bars are quite edible, while Rosa
Venus has a decidedly unpleasant aftertaste. I don't hold this against Rosa
Venus, because a nice tasting soap is an abomination and has no place in the
natural order of things. The reserved and understated nature of the packaging
design adds to the candy-like nature of the wrapper, but somehow does not
seem out of place in a gallery of soap packages. It's just a white wrapper
with the Rosa Venus logo on it in various places. The Rosa Venus logo
consists of an aerial view of a pink rose blossom with a few leaves beneath
it. "Rosa Venus" is printed across the rose in a very distinctive font that
I find difficult to anylyze. The "R" resembles a "B" with the bottom cut
off, the "O" is perfectly round, the "S" is very thin, and the "A" resembles
an upside-down "U" with a line through it. The "V" in "Venus" is
incomparable to any other letter in the alphabet. The closest approximate
would be an upside down "A" without a line, or a crudely drawn upside-down
sketch of the pope's hat. The "E" resembles a backwards "B" with no straight
line, the "N" resembles an upside-down "U", the "U" looks perfectly normal,
and the second "S" is the same as the first. "Beauty Soap" is written
in extremely tiny letters beneath "Rosa Venus", and you won't notice it
unless you look for it carefully. I have my doubts as to whether or not it
will even show up in the scan. Nothing graces the front of the package
except for a miniscule "TM" beneath the second "S" and an equally tiny "Net
Wt 3.52 OZ." in the lower right corner. The sides have nothing but the Rosa
Venus logo, and the flaps are bare except for "Rosa Venus" written in the
distinctively weird font that graces the logo. The upper half of the back
features the Rosa Venus logo on the left and the bar code on the right.
The UPC code for Rosa Venus is 12005 10670, if any of you intend to order a
bar. The bottom half consists of the following text in the same tiny letters
seen on the front of the package:

Rosa Venus is a registered trademark and made
by Fabrica De Jabon La Corona, S.A. De C.V.
Xalostoc. Edo. De Mexico. Phone (525) 228-99-88
Mexico. 55340 Reg. No. 44439 T.S.S.A.
Ingredients: Sodium Talolowate, Sodium Cocoate, Fragrance and Dye.

In the lower right hand corner, there is a small box square with an Aztec
style eagle head and "Made In Mexico" printed inside it. This is the first
time I've seen a foriegn counterpart to the "Made In U.S.A." logo that's
stamped all over everything nowadays. Compared to the shitty American soaps
with needlessly complicated packaging and lists of ingredient gobbledygook
as long as your arm, this packaging was a real nice change of pace.

The main problem with reviewing soaps at night is the lack of an adequate
source of light with which to judge the soap's coloration. Without the aid
of the sun, I cannot make a truly adequate decision as to the color of the
soap. While the soap appears to be a bit off-white in the bathroom and
kitchen, it seems to have a somewhat pinkish hue to it when examined in the
computer room. I'm sure that this is some kind of psychological abberation
on my part caused by the pinkish nature of the name, but I can't examine the
soap under the harsh light of day to ascertain the pigmentation of the soap.
Intellectually, I know that the soap is off-white, but the perceived
pastel tones of the soap gnaw at the back of my mind like a cancer. I'll put
it this way: The soap isn't pink, but it may look that way in poor lighting.
The odor of the soap also has little to do with roses. It basically smells
like Lever 2000 or Zest, with a hint of perfume. It doesn't quite smell like
a rose, but the name may lead you to believe that it does, just as you can
suddenly hear the satanic mesasages in "Stairway To Heaven" only AFTER
you're told where they are and what they're saying. The lack of flowery
odor in Rosa Venus is just fine with me, because I don't really want to
smell like a rose. The shape of the soap is perfectly generic like the bars
of soap found in some gas station bathrooms, and reminds me of a large
pill. It's 3 1/2 by 2 inches wide and a little more than half an inch thick,
but seems smaller to me. The corners are rounded off neatly, and the "Rosa
Venus" logo minus the rose is carved fairly deeply into both sides of the
bar. There's an indentation on the upper side of the soap which was
probably caused during manufacturing. It's barely noticeable, and it doesn't
bother me one bit. Overall, the design of the bar is functional and
attractive.

When I tested its cleaning ability, I found Rosa Venus to be a grand bargain.
I wrote "Neet Loaf" on my right hand with a Papermate Write Bros. Medium
ball-point pen and scrubbed away at it gingerly, due to a painful cut on my
left middle fingertip. Despite the restraint I showed, the ink was
completely removed within 45 seconds. That isn't a record-breaking time, but
it's pretty damn good for a gently used 25 cent bar of soap. In addition,
it left no odor and no soapy residue, as my dog was happy to lick my hands
after I had washed them. My skin was left feeling clean, although somewhat
itchy on the spots where I'm developing dishpan hands. That's really all
there is to say about Rosa Venus, except that I heartily encourage all
business owners to carry it at an affordable price, and that "Rosa Venus"
would make a great name for a prostitute or an exotic dancer. If you see
this fine soap for sale anywhere, be sure to pick up a couple of bars, and
explain to the manager how pleased you are that they carry individually
packaged soaps. Rosa Venus would be a bargain at five times the original
price, and I'd like to see it become a famous soap in the years ahead.
Thanks for your time.

--
erase...@iglou.com / Not the ornery director / Tape trades welcome
See the Soap WWW page at: http://www.rahul.net/ndanger/soap/soap.html
ObCriminalSpeech: piss.

cassiewo...@gmail.com

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Jan 12, 2014, 11:56:16 PM1/12/14
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Rosa Venus is my favorite soap. I have been using it for a few years now and the store I used to purchase it, stopped selling it. Arggghhh!!!

kittend...@gmail.com

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Mar 14, 2016, 8:39:04 PM3/14/16
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I just started using the blue bar and I love it! Seems to work better when I take a bath rather than shower though. Smells great and leaves my skin soft...oh so soft lol. I'm not to I to the smell of the white bar, but the pink I we definitely give a try!
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