Hell, yeah I'm bitter!
8-()
I had a boyfriend recently whom I thought I was in love with.
Well, seems like he was in love with everyone but ME! He had
this thing for a good friend of mine, but she was really into
this guy she is still dating. So they would wrestle with each
other *in fron to me* and excuse their actions as being physical
people. This went on for the whole time that we went out, and
finally, I got sick of it and told the bum to beat it.
It wasn't as if he cheated on me physically, but it sure as hell]
hurt! Instead, I think he cheated on me emotionally and that's
just as bad, if not worse. I've been pondering this thing for
months now and don't know if I should forgive and forget and
just continue being friends with this girl. But everytime Isee
her, I want to sock her in the mouth...not a good solution, but
it sure as hell would make me feel A LOT better. I don't talk
to my ex, which is the way I want it, but I don't know how to deal
with this girl...I know this is not a forum to induce advice, but
since most of you are pretty opinionated anyway, I'm sure I'll
get advice whether I solicit it or not...Well, I am soliciting
sympathy or advice, or both...oh, yeah, I'm sure I'll get some
flaming, too,
--
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ "To each a looking glass @ Elizabeth Nguyen @
@ Reflects the other that @ nguy...@ucsu.colorado.edu @
@ doth pass." @ @
Ted Takacs
In a previous article, nguy...@ucsub.Colorado.EDU () says:
>OK, so here's the story:
>I had a boyfriend recently whom I thought I was in love with.
>Well, seems like he was in love with everyone but ME! He had
>this thing for a good friend of mine, but she was really into
>this guy she is still dating. So they would wrestle with each
>other *in fron to me* and excuse their actions as being physical
>people. This went on for the whole time that we went out, and
>finally, I got sick of it and told the bum to beat it.
>
>It wasn't as if he cheated on me physically, but it sure as hell]
>hurt! Instead, I think he cheated on me emotionally and that's
>just as bad, if not worse. I've been pondering this thing for
>months now and don't know if I should forgive and forget and
>just continue being friends with this girl. But everytime Isee
>her, I want to sock her in the mouth...not a good solution, but
>it sure as hell would make me feel A LOT better. I don't talk
>to my ex, which is the way I want it, but I don't know how to deal
>with this girl...I know this is not a forum to induce advice, but
>since most of you are pretty opinionated anyway, I'm sure I'll
>get advice whether I solicit it or not...Well, I am soliciting
>sympathy or advice, or both...oh, yeah, I'm sure I'll get some
>flaming, too,
>
>@ "To each a looking glass @ Elizabeth Nguyen @
Alt.bitterness is whatever participants decide to make it. Currently, it
is being made into a cesspool by a hoard of obnoxious, immature morons, but
this too shall pass, kinda like a kidney stone.
Anyway, my advice is to treat your ex girlfriend with as much courtesy,
warmth, and friendship as she deserves. From her actions, I would surmise
that she has every potential to provide you with the same level of
consideration and fidelity as your ex-boyfriend.
If someone fucks you over once, it is highly non-productive to ponder
whether or not they are a habitual fuck-up.
--
Teach me, if you can.
Sylvia Chong
nguy...@ucsub.Colorado.EDU (8-() wrote:
> It wasn't as if he cheated on me physically, but it sure as hell]
> hurt! Instead, I think he cheated on me emotionally and that's
> just as bad, if not worse. I've been pondering this thing for
> months now and don't know if I should forgive and forget and
> just continue being friends with this girl. But everytime Isee
> her, I want to sock her in the mouth...not a good solution, but
> it sure as hell would make me feel A LOT better
You want my advice? Forget it. Get over it. Develop a certain
indifference to this woman. After you do that, maybe you can warn up to a
friendship with her eventually. But if she causes you this much grief
everytime you see her ... well, I think you'd better decide whether you're
actually bitter about *her*, or about your own grief.
(p.s. if she's a good friend, it's also worth having a very sincere and
frank talk with her. have you tried that? if you haven't, it might be
your own fault that this anger is still consuming you ... you're not giving
it a chance to seep out gradually before you pop her one in the mouth ...)
--
Sylvia Chong Swarthmore College
500 College Ave. (what? you've never
Swarthmore, PA 19081 heard of it before?)
sch...@cc.swarthmore.edu
"This is a mean world / to try to live in / to try to stay in / until you
die."
--Sweet Honey in the Rock
Sean Lawrence Connell
you can, when you can." (A direct quote from "The Rats of NIMH.") If you're
being used, turn the tables on the lousy bastard. He deserves it. Use him
worse than he's using you. And if you can't do that, push him down the side
of a mountain one day. Your "friend," too, if you get around to it. The
real question is, did you trust either of them and have they violated that
trust. If the answer to both of these is yes, fry the losers.
Ted Takacs
I strongly disagree. Hate tears up your insides and prolongs suffering.
In fact, hate is a form of self-imposed suffering. A person is far better
off, after discovering that someone has done them in, either resolving the
issue with the perpetrator of the hurt, or accepting the fact that the
perpetrator is best avoided.
A brief episode of hatred may help to dissipate anger, but prolonged hatred
amounts to putting yourself through a personal hell. It's alot better to
go through whatever grieving is necessary, let go of the pain, and get on
with your life.
Believe me, I realize the above approach is neither quick nor easy. It can
take years to attain a significant level of acceptance after being severely
traumatized by someone; but the bottom line is that striving toward
acceptance is the only way to cleanse oneself of painful negative emotions.
I would also like to add that I am speaking from personal experience. I
have stupidly hated people, who I regarded as evil, for years. It made
them feel terribly uncomfortable when I was around them, but I am sure the
discomfort left them immediately after I left. The same could not be said
of my hatred. I carried it with me all the time, and it produced nothing
but pointless anger in me. I should have saved my energy for more
productive activities. I was behaving idiotically, and I would strongly
discourage anyone from going through a similar experience.
Against All Odds
>In article <nguyeneh....@ucsub.Colorado.EDU>,
>nguy...@ucsub.Colorado.EDU (8-() wrote:
>> It wasn't as if he cheated on me physically, but it sure as hell]
>> hurt! Instead, I think he cheated on me emotionally and that's
>> just as bad, if not worse. I've been pondering this thing for
>> months now and don't know if I should forgive and forget and
>> just continue being friends with this girl. But everytime Isee
>> her, I want to sock her in the mouth...not a good solution, but
>> it sure as hell would make me feel A LOT better
Don't be bitter. Talk to her. If that doesn't work, sock her in the mouth.
-AAO
--
Against All Odds
University of Rochester
db0...@uhura.cc.rochester.edu
Against All Odds
You are a bitter one, aren't you?
Sean Lawrence Connell
catch-up work before break takes effect. First of all, someone accused me
of dealing with whatever-her-name-was's situation about her "friend"
betraying her with a good dose of hate. Like hell, folks. A violation of
trust does not inpsire a hateful reaction, just a need for a healthy does of
justice and vengeance. Let's not confuse hate with it's close counterpart,
vengeance. There is a difference, and a big one. Every once and awhile you
have to take back what it is that's been taken from you. Whether you do
this directly or literally doesn't matter. The fact is the need exists.
We can't all be forgiving and move on with our happy little lives. I agree
hate gets you nowhere as long as you let it fester. But if you can turn it
into something that you can use, so much the better. Look at Hitler, who
turned an entire nation's hate into a thriving economy and a massive war
machine. Granted, that hatred against the Jews was misplaced and the extreme
consequences are a tragedy, but Israel became the last reaction to the
origional hatred. There comes a point when you can only take so much. You can
only sit back and forgive so many times before you have to do something. I'm
not being bitter, I'm being realistic.
Daniel J Horn
> We can't all be forgiving and move on with our happy little lives. I agree
>hate gets you nowhere as long as you let it fester. But if you can turn it
>into something that you can use, so much the better. Look at Hitler, who
>turned an entire nation's hate into a thriving economy and a massive war
>machine. Granted, that hatred against the Jews was misplaced and the extreme
>consequences are a tragedy, but Israel became the last reaction to the
>origional hatred. There comes a point when you can only take so much. You can
>only sit back and forgive so many times before you have to do something. I'm
>not being bitter, I'm being realistic.
Sean, what the fuck is wrong with you? It is "so much the better" that
Hitler turned a nation's hate into killing 10 million people? So much the
better for who? What does "There comes a point when you can only take so
much" mean? That the Jews, gay and lesbian people, dissidents and gypsies
deserved to die because they provoked the Nazis into killing them? Don't
be insane. Hitler and the Nazis _used_ the above groups by blaming them
for the economic problems that resulted from their World War I invasions.
The Jews themselves didn't do anything to hurt the German economy; it was
their own hateful leadership that drained the country dry. The people
killed in the Holocaust were just the victims of that crisis.
If you really think there was any positive reason behind the Holocaust,
or any positive effect of it, you either need remedial history lessons or
a good therapist. I hope you never turn your hatred into "something that
you can use," like a body count.
-- Danny
Sean Lawrence Connell
holocaust was a good thing. In fact, I feel it is one of the most tragic
examples of humanity's darker side. However, it was the result of an expert
manipulation of hate. And, all things aside, much of where the Jews have
managed to get in this world is a result of the Holocaust. Please read on
before you flame. The Jews were a very strong people before Hitler.
However, they were also without much of a homeland. Nor did they have such
a strong sense of unity. They were all members of a religion and that was
all that bound them. After the Holocaust, they had something more. They
had suffered as a people in a way that never should have happened. But it
did, and some positive things came out of it. Israel, for example. The
Nazi hunters, for another. That was all I was trying to say.
Against All Odds
>a strong sense of unity. They were all members of a religion and that was
>all that bound them.
So, what binds other religious groups together?
> After the Holocaust, they had something more.
Yeah, 6 million dead relatives.
They
>had suffered as a people in a way that never should have happened.
Well, we agree about one thing.
But it
>did, and some positive things came out of it. Israel, for example. The
Israel could have come without so much death.
>Nazi hunters, for another.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
That's a positive thing. Tell me how, you stupid schmuck.
> That was all I was trying to say.
Good, I don't think most of us could've dealt with much more.
-Doug